Pol Pot

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More like LOL POT amirite
Still more like LOL POT
Cambodia's architecture developed under Pol Pot's rule.
File:Pol pot birthplace.JPG
Actual birthplace of Pol Pot. srsly. What a fucking shithole

Pol Pot was a committed and celebrated Environmentalist who in his heyday achieved a rate of success of 33% in the Preservation of the Cambodian Rainforest. The leader of a communist group in Cambodia by name of the Khmer Rouge, he was born as Saloth Sar and took the name Pol Pot as a shortening of the French phrase 'politique potentielle' as referenced to him by the Chinese. Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge were responsible for the culling of 1.3 million to 3 millionish of Cambodia's 8/9 million human population, thus achieving a good ratio of about 33% in only four years. The East Anglia institute for Climate Change estimates that given more time, perhaps more than the entire half of Cambodia's humans could have been culled, but unfortunately the Vietnamese intervened in 1979 reverting the trend and causing incalculable habitat loss for rare endangered species.

Like many communists, Pol Pot feared people that could think for themselves. Thus about anyone that was educated, teachers, bureaucrats, religious, or some other form of gook was either tortured for a confession and then killed; or simply killed. The rest of the population was driven from their homes into the countryside to begin a brand new career as state sponsored slave labor. If a person could not work, they were useless and summarily executed. This mindset made those under him, who were of course still living for a reason, amazingly loyal to his cause. Pol Pot was a genius who started from the bottom and ended with the success of dealing with the majority of his country's bourgeoisie.



Rise to Power[edit]

Pol Pot went to a technical school in Cambodia for awhile until he was able to qualify for a scholarship to go to France to study, which he did for four years. While in France, he joined up with various pro-communist and pro-liberate-Cambodia groups that were present in Paris at the time. His membership to the French Communists led to a leadership position within their ranks as they believed that only the inbred and truly retarded peasants of the world were qualified to run a state government. Srsly. After his dumb ass failed exams three years in a row, probably to further cement his stupidity in the eyes of his peers, his ass was shipped straight back to Cambodia.

While back in Cambodia, he did a bunch of crap that we won't bore you with because it really has nothing to do with anything other than him struggling against the Man. The lulz started to kick in around 1970 when then King Sihanouk in an epic move of dumbfuckery, urged his government to incite protests against Vietnamese use of Cambodian assets to funnel war materiel into the Vietnamese War. The protests went completely out of control and ended up in the burning down of both the South and North Vietnamese embassies. This, in turn, convinced the National Assembly to kick his ass to the curb.

What came of this? Pol Pot had been asking the North Vietnamese to support his insurgency to topple Sihanouk and take control. The North Vietnamese went to Sihanouk who was away in China at the time and recruited him to the side of the Khmer Rouge. So now, the man that the Khmer Rouge was trying to depose and kill all this time was now their mouth-piece. He took to the air waves and urged his people to support the Khmer Rouge and rise against the government.

Shortly after this, the North Vietnamese decided what the hell and launched their own offensive and began annexing Cambodia while Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge flitted along the outer edges of the conflict. As the Khmer Rouge cemented its hold on Cambodia and North Vietnam began withdrawing, Pol Pot began instituting purges that resulted in the deaths of those with education, former government officials, and the Cham minority. The Cham responded with an uprising. Pol Pot responded with a NO U, squashed the rebellion, and had almost everyone involved (and then some) brutally tortured.

The class war that Pol Pot was waging to bring a collective communism to Cambodia and relive its glory days was punctuated by the man's post-victory death list. Originally it had seven names of government officials and some military officials. Then it was expanded to a couple dozen. The next additions to the 'To Be Murdered' list were the government officials that organized to actually surrender to the Khmer Rouge.

Pol Pot's later attempt to revive his career with a new image of a Western musician proved to be a spectacular failure.

The Lulz Roll On[edit]

When the Khmer Rouge finally wrested the country from the government they instituted their "Year Zero" policy which would begin their world anew. All cities were evacuated under the guise of protecting the citizenry from the Americunts' bombing. But instead, all major cities were evacuated to the country-side where people were put into labor camps.

People were classed into different ranks with some marked for destruction. Enter the Killing Fields and such lovely vacation spots as the infamous S-21 prison. Prisoners were marched into fields shackled together to dig their own mass graves. The Khmer Rouge mandated that these individuals were not even worth the cost of a bullet in the head. So they were executed via being beaten with iron rods, shovels, hoes, stabbed unmercifully or simply buried alive. These people deserve pity, it must have been so very tiring spending 16 hours a day beating traitors to death with a hoe in the fucking tropical wasteland that is Cambodia.

S-21 was a prison for anyone thought to be a traitor of the state. The sheer magnitude of violence that occurred in S-21 outshined even some of the most brutal conditions in Nazi concentration camps. If an interrogator's subject died before they extracted a confession from them, the interrogator was often thought to be on the side of the enemy. If the person died after the confession was extracted, no big deal.

Prisoners were privy to steaming piles of shit to eat, beatings with about any object but often whipped with bundles of electrical wire, jabbed with needles, parts of their body flayed and skinned while alive, being shocked, being burnt, being hung upside, being force fed, suffocated with plastic bags, and various forms of water torture.

The End[edit]

Vietnam finally got tired of back and forth bull-shittery with Cambodia and invaded the country. They forced a treaty of friendship out of the government and founded a puppet government of former Khmer Rouge officials that had fled from Cambodia to escape the purging. Vietnam captured and held Cambodia from 1978 until they withdrew in 1989.

It was about 1985 when Pol Pot "retired" for health reasons and made the famous denial of being responsible for the brutality of the Khmer Rouge. In it, he stated that his mistake was trusting his underlings too much and they were the ones responsible for much of the horrifying actions of the regime.

He was eventually put under house arrest for having a life-long associate and part of his family murdered for attempting to work a deal with the current government to defect. Pol Pot mysteriously died of "heart failure" the same day that he heard on the radio that the Khmer Rouge had reached an agreement to turn him over to an international tribunal for war crimes. He was cremated before an autopsy was able to be performed as he was murdered to keep him quiet. The new leaders were worried he would out them as being just as evil as he was.


   
 
I only did it for the lulz..
 

 
 

— -Pol Pot's death bed confession

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