It all started with the greatest tragedy in Poland's history...
Then, not a long time later, some local Scouts decided it would be fun to honour this event. They placed a big, wooden and shitty cross right in front of Presidental Palace in Warsaw (the capital of Poland), accidentally starting one of the greatest, epic meme that Polandball have ever seen in it's history.
After traditional national mourning, newly elected head of the country, President Bronislaw Komorowski, stated that he wants to get rid of the wooden pain in the ass, standing in the frontyard of his workplace. This would've been acceptable on the Moon - but not in Poland. Right after the President published his statement, a group of old people got very, very seriously raegd and declared they would defend the cross even at the cost of their own lives. At first, nobody gave a damn, but the determination of these codgers quickly received media attention, because it was a slow news day, and nothing interesting happens in Poland. Ever since, and this means literally a couple of months, old people, fanatics and radical right-winged politicians, calling themselves The Defenders of the Cross are standing under the cross, ranting, dancing and threatening everyone who attempts to take the cross away - that includes government, police or military, and even catholic priests - additionally causing epidemy of facepalm in a more civilized part of the nation.
Right or wrong??
Some argue that the incident is somehow actually useful for every side of the conflict, and that is:
- Government - doing nothing, paralyzed by fear of their popularity amongst 90%-catholic-society. It's highly doubtful that anyone here would do something after all, so everyone sits back and enjoys the lulz.
- Political opposition force - support the Defenders and barking on the ministers, as it usually goes in demorcacy. The funniest part is, that the main opposing politician who maintains the earfuck around the case is Jaroslaw Kaczynski, brother of "4/10 President" Lech Kaczynski.
- Priests - "This is not our case, it doesn't include us". Actual quote. Facepalm.
- Rest of the country - What is this I don't even
Connections with catholic church
Priests of catholic church in Poland officially cut the problem loose. What was not easy for them to do for abortion, euthanasia or BDSM, was an piece of Cake when it came to crosses and old loons. The Vatican hasn't spoken about the case because they're too busy chasing choirboys around the pulpit.
Grenades and shit in a jar
A couple of days ago the cross was screened off with heavy concrete barriers and a deflector shield. This was the beginning of The Ultimate Cage Match between teh Holy Warriors and their foes - needless to say, lulz ensued: one of the senile and "peaceful" men brought an unarmed hand grenade with him and threated to kill everyone if the cross didn't stay in it's place; sadly, before he made an attempt to become an hero, the police took away his impotent prop and made him BAWWWW. Then a challenger appeared with another Old One, and armed with something more dangerous than a grenade. Somehow he managed to avoid the security goons and made it all the way to the memorial plaque, placed on the walls of Presidential Palace to honor teh 4/10 catastrophe victims, and smashed a jar full of his own shit right on the memorial.
The second guy actually managed to become something close to an hero: his invention - an alternative to the famous Molotov's Cocktail - was officially called "Kaczynski's Cokctail," referring either to the dead ex-president or to his brother, an idol of Cross Corps, who can throw his own shit at everyone he doesn't like in an even better way than our fuck-headed hero.
<video type="youtube" id="cCJVaMzXB4E" width="500" height="360" frame="true" position="center"/>
Polish crosslol is part of a series on
Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.