Pop'n Music

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Pop'n Music is a music game by the creators of DDR and Beatmania. It is the most dangerous video game ever created. The object of the game is to mash giant colored buttons until your hands bleed while watching furry cartoon characters dance, in order to play Japanese pop songs about sushi, anime, video games, and various other things no one who isn't wapanese would give a fuck about. If you're ready to become a forever alone gafupedo, then it's the game you must play. Alternatively, if you want to become forever alone without being a gafupedo, there's Beatmania IIDX.

Gameplay[edit]

The goal of this incomprehensive bullshit is to rape the 9 colored buttons with your hand plams until they disappear, leaving your fingers lying on the controller. Doing this will make the music hearable. If you play like shit, the music will sound like shit, like in Beatmania.

Typical Pop'n Music gameplay

The series[edit]

Pop'n Music was originally conceived as a secret project of the Japanese government to destroy western society. Their hope was to create a game which would turn anyone who played it into a gay, a furry and a pedophile at the same time. They would become a gafupedo (ガフペド), with superhuman reflexes that would allow them to overthrow their respective governments, and force anyone who refused to join them to watch gay furry porn until they went insane. However, like all Japanese plans for world domination, their idea backfired as they forgot to tell anyone outside of Japan the game existed. Additionally, 19 identical versions of the game had already been released by the time they realized their mistake, and it had become quite popular in their homeland. Consequently, Japan now has the largest population of gafupedo on the planet. They've stopped making PS2 ports for this game since 14 FEVER!, because it's an old overrated console.

List of games[edit]

  • pop'n music (1998)
  • pop'n music 2 (1999) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 3 (1999) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 4 (2000) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 5 (2000) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 6 (2001) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 7 (2001) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 8 (2002) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 9 (2002) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 10 (2003) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 11 (2004) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 12 Iroha (2004) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 13 Carnival (2005) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 14 FEVER! (2006) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 15 ADVENTURE (2007) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 16 Party♪ (2008) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 17 THE MOVIE (2009) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 18 Sengoku Retsuden (2010) (same shit as above, in fact it's exactly identical to Iroha)
  • pop'n music 19 TUNE STREET (2011) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music 20 Fantasia 2000 (2012) (same shit as above)
  • pop'n music you know what fuck numbers it's just called Sunny Park (2013)
  • pop'n music what the fuck is a Lapistoria anyway (2014)
  • pop'n music we smashed our faces on the keyboard and came up with ECLALE so that's what we're calling it (2015)
  • pop'n music Japanese Title That's Half A Mile Long, You Don't Give A Shit, We Don't Give A Shit, So Let's Just Go With This (2016, barely)

Characters[edit]

Two furries
The "main characters" of this game.

What makes this game a human-to-gafupedo converter is the character cast. Almost every of them are furry happy KAWAIIIIII ^_^ animals. They appear on each side of the screen during gameplay to annoy the fuck out of you while you try to win by doing the same shit over and over again. Of course, there are no story, at all, so they are just there for the sake of being there. Of course, like for every single Japanese shit, there are people who must ABSOLUTELY practice cosplaying based on this.

Weird Pop'n Cosplay. What the fuck is going on here?

Outside of Japan[edit]

Even among the most hardcore japanophiles, relatively few know of Pop'n Music's existence. Many argue that this is for the best, as people have been turned into gafupedo just by hearing a vague description of what playing Pop'n Music is like. If you know anyone who plays Pop'n Music, do not hesitate to kill them and burn their corpse, along with any copies of the game you can find. There is no cure for being a gafupedo, and even a second wasted with indecision may cost you your only chance to avoid being turned into one.

You must also avoid the Wii US release of Pop'n Music, as it initiates the normal human being into becoming a gafupedo. The gameplay isn't the same as the average Pop'n Music game. Instead, you waggle the sticks to simulate button pressings, as Konami was too cheap to manufacture dedicated controllers.

Your gafupedo starter kit!

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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