A President is anyone who is in charge of lots of shit. You can usually tell if you're a president or not based on how many people kiss your ass and how big your armed escort is. Many countries, such as El Salvador and Texas, use the presidential system instead of having a queen or a dictator.
The Election Process
In a democracy or a republic, the President is chosen by the people (except in Israel and the United States, where fucking everything is chosen by Jews). A specific day is picked and everyone skips out on work to go vote, thus fulfilling their civic duty. Later on that week the election is contested by the loser and then the opponents engage in a fight to the death.
The survivor of the duel then calls his old college/drinking buddies up and invites them to help him run the country into the ground.
When you're a president, you're allowed to do whatever you want. This includes blowing shit up, kicking puppies, eating gourmet meals, and forcing your will upon the world. Some presidents have chosen to do this on their own, but others have claimed to do it in the name of God.
Examples of Presidents
- Girlvinyl is Queen of
æTreachery, Deceit, and Anal Warts.
- Oprah is
presidentempress of black person.
- Warren G. Harding was the first negro president of the United States and is currently president of Wikipedia vandalism.
Examples of things that are not Presidents
- Vermin Supreme... yet.
Examples of things that want to be President of the U.S.A.
- Hugh Jidette Running for 2012, vote for him and receive a free pony, and pie!
- John McCain
- Cynthia McKinney
- Ralph Nader
- Sarah Palin
- Howard Dean
- John Edwards
- Rudy Ghouliani
- Mike Gravel
- Mike Huckabee
- Jesse Jackson
- Dennis Kucinich
- Lyndon Larouche
- Joe Lieberman
- Ron Paul
- Mitt Romney
- Al Sharpton
- Freddie Thompson
- Arnold Schwarzenegger not eligible, thanks to his penis.
is part of a series on Donald Trump.
God Bless Savior Donald
You're gonna love this article, believe me.