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|Go on a fucking diet you fat bitch|
Project Harpoon (later Operation Harpoon) is perhaps one of the only lulzy things that 4chan has done in years, and they couldn't do it without Reddit/Voat's help. It all began in 2015 when one /v/irgin decided to create a Facebook community designed to piss off feminists by politely rejecting the HAES movement and photoshopping fat women to be not as fat (because the people behind it all suck at Photoshop).
The project /b/egan with brainstorming in the fucked scrotum of the internet after a fat fetish website that warned people about the dangers of bulimia, tries to show how female videogame characters if they have average body types. In retrospect, it would have been hard to form under under the watch of 4chan's SJW mods, but the influx of summerfags probably caused them to think it was mindless shitposting. It was soon clear that all of the 4chan users that were good at organizing already left, so they went out to form a subreddit for their "organization" called , which will last about 2 months. Tops. They also started a hashtag of the same name, but it's just reposts.
The project itself is rather simple.
- Find photo of unattractive cow from either a publicly posted medium or a "plus sized model."
- Copy image and attempt to remove a lot of the body fat
- Post it with praise to skinny people
This somehow is bullying to feminists, whose entire identities revolve around being disgusting piles of shit (and looking like shit too!) and they can't help but not close out of content they don't like. FPH jumped on board, using a lot of their hate pictures to make filler shops, posting an occasional article, and cross posting one the page in order to give it more legitimacy by posting truth because the 4chan trolls couldn't refrain from sperging out on Facebook at the thought of interacting with females.
At any moment that you go on the page, it will be filled to the brim with fat fucking feminists among other over-opinionated, entitled goblins calling each other beautiful and preaching that nobody has the right to judge what is beautiful or not. Occasionally, you'll find some humongous cunt or goony-bearded loser saying that you can be fat and healthy, but coincidentally never in response to articles that state the otherwise. These feminists say a lot of things about the page, but none of their posts are "me sucky sucky you happy," so it's worthless garbage anyway. Some of these complains include requests for the page admin's faces so that they can feel better about being fat, ugly virgins, and/or that fat people are happy with themselves (explaining why so many of them are insecure enough to lash out, backed behind their
cult tolerance, at the idea that people don't find sweaty, smelly skin flabs sexy). 110% of the time they are lying out of their blubbery asses, and if you're brave or stupid enough to have a semi-legit Facebook account you can waste time trolling them is as quick and effortless as their trips to McNigger's.
How to play:
- Suggest that being fat is unhealthy
- Suggest that being fat is unattractive
- Follow up this by saying that if everyone has the right to find what they like attractive, then feminists have no place telling people what is and what is not beautiful.
- Remind them that fat acceptance communities did the same thing in reverse, but included several outright false claims attached that the people were more realistic and healthy as bettusbabies, whereas beautiful is subjective, and everyone has a right to find fat people gross.
It's that simple. Yes, by merely observing reality, you are already taking part in Project Harpoon.
—In a nutshell
Media Weighs In
It didn't take long for online tabloids and other assorted garbage to start weighing in with their reviews of the project and, according to fat, female bloggers, it's offensive to fat female bloggers!
that puts skinny women on their covers every single week calls it "the worst thing on the internet." Milo Yiannopoulos is and accidentally ended up getting the story out relatively early thanks to not waiting 5 days for a hamplanet "model" to literally roll out of bed and waddle to the phone. The Daily Mail "horrific," "is likely to be an act of trolling," and that it was horrible that they altered the images without the original subjects' consent. This all could be said for of stars getting the Tom Preston treatment, but it's not like we're talking about people that say whatever it takes to get clicks or anything like that.is calling it "pointlessly cruel," and describing the photoshopped photos as "shit." calls the group "fat-shaming gamers"... despite nothing about the page involving video games at all. Journalism! tabloids
because white women in danger is a popular agenda even if it's based on bullshit. Desperate to turn to "expert" opinions on the public opinion that being obese is disgusting (what a tough search), HP turned towards the editor of a "plus-sized" magazine for his opinion on the take. He answers, "Women's bodies are continuously dissected by the media, but this takes it to a whole new level and violates their bodies in a whole different way." But, hey, that's just his opinion.
Editor's Note: From one editor of a shitty site that nobody reads to another, let me just state that you, Rivkie Baum, deserve to be slapped vigorously and repeatedly in the face for three hours without pause while a choir of orphans sings "it's only Photoshop you pussy" throughout that time. I would happily volunteer to do the slapping. We can negotiate where and how the orphans are obtained.
Archdeacon of yellow "journalism" Jezebel on the issue (not that anyone asked). Featuring wit matched only by our Bad New Articles, and commenters that think the movement migrated from Tumblr, Jezebel delivers an article that's severely lacking in fire and brimstone by even Gawker's standards. Come on, step it up!
Tess Holliday, a fatass so large that she can't stand up without help and hero to flab-monsters everywhere (pictured above). She told US Weekly that "The versions of me smaller aren’t even anatomically correct and my limbs are all stretched out like I’m made of Play-Doh." According to our inside sources, she was promptly reminded that the altered image was the one cropped on the right, not the left, much to her disappointment and embarrassment. Afterwards, Tess told Us "People that do this kind of stuff will never get it. They need to work on their own issues and why they have so much hate and anger first," oblivious to the neutral tone of the page being the most hilarious part of the trolling. Nevertheless, Tess's rise to fame is eating at least 100 extra meals per day, so anyone that takes her opinion seriously probably isn't bright enough to figure out that aspect anyway. In a moment of clarity, the article ends with Tess's reflection on the idea of plus sized models, "It's disgusting, yes, but I can't even take them seriously, and no one else should. Honestly, to me, it's a joke," followed by an admittance that the project has highlighted just how undesirable of a lifestyle fat acceptance is and a plea to her fellow blubbernuggets: "To Ashley Graham, Melissa McCarthy, and the other poor people who've been mangled by these morons, we've never looked worse." Powerful words indeed. Godspeed Project Harpoon.took this one step further by interviewing
TL;DR copypasta from a LGBTQIA+ inclusive "Intersectional Feminist Lingerie brand" who are buttmad because one of their "models" was shopped and because of that, everybody was able to see the truth through their Kickstarter scam. Knowing that they are exposed as greedy twats who really want to be the new Victoria's Secret (by making horrible and cheap women underwear and capitalizing on their buyers' self-esteem issues), decided to use the Good ol' hypocrite tactic of the Church of Scientology of making DMCA takedown notices when cornered, and still preaching the defeatist "You are good enough" speech. Cosmo regarded this self-masturbatory diatribe as "Superb" and the BEST response to Project Harpoon's gross fat-shaming.After realizing they can still swindling money of insecure women by just telling them what they want to hear (as they did, but now pandering to bra-burning cunts), Cosmo issued a
Snorlax used Rollout!
Project Harpoon fainted!
After reminding everyone just how much she didn't care about those big losers running the page, and how she absolutely did not care (she doesn't care, leave her alone guys!), Tess took all of her apathy and after putting on ten gallons of makeup before making some #effyourbeautystandards tweets featuring photoshopped images of herself, ordered her followers to protect the good name of obesity and her only claim to relevance, even if it kills them all slowly, painfully, and without dignity.with enough collective effort and time that could have been spent helping the homeless or other fatties lose weight. Holiday,
Eventually, the page and its backup was taken down without notice thanks to an influx of false flag reports. Our experts in internet lawl can only guess that this was because Tess is from the UK, and the page banked on US Fair Use laws. We hereby dub the natives "Britblimps" to reflect their willingness to promote white conquest of the all-you-can-eat-buffet.
Fret not! Project Harpoon has opened up another page, and the shitlords behind it have discovered something very lulzy in the meantime. Facebook's own ToS state that any public photo uploaded to it may be used by anybody.
—Don't believe us? That's your first mistake!
Assuming that the new admin isn't a lazy retard, this means that Project Harpoon can personally trigger all of the fatties that they have access to (but only if you include the subject's powerword), and there's nothing they can do about it but post hate and death threats!
How to Troll "Harpooners"
"Trolling" fans of the project by posting bullshit is a lot like selling bottles of water that you fill with your garden hose. You're competing with a metric fuckton of people who have more experience than you and several
Chinese sweatshop children disgruntled fatasses at their disposal, and you're just going to waste a lot of the water trying to fit the hose in a little hole. Come to think of it, it's a lot like loli sex. Nevertheless, if for whatever reason you think there's a shortage of angry fatasses or that they need help, consider either suicide or the following:
Step 1. Grab attention. Call the OP out. Misspell 4chan as "4chon" or /b/ as /d/.
Step 2. Wait for a few "trolling" responses calling you an SJW or a "mad cuck white knight"
Step 3. Make a generic statement about degradation of women, misogyny, blah-blah-blah.
Step 4. Wait for a few lulzy responses to come in. Ignore all responses, even the ones which seem reasonably sane.
Step 5. EXPLODE!! scream "THOUGHT SLAVES OF THE PATRIARCHY" or "EVIL NARROW MINDED FOOLS" all in caps.
Step 6. For added lulz, quote the Bible on all things being equal before teh Lord.
Step 7. Link to a Jezebel article, any article. Incessantly refer to the Patriarchy.
Step 8. When discussion gets sufficiently heated, pretend to exorcise the other posters:"In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, leave these Earthly vessels! "
Step 10. Profit!!
- Fat People Hate - The bastards throwing logs in the fire
- The Arguecat Weightloss Challenge - ED's similar challenge
- Social Justice Warrior - Who has a problem with this pace
- Fat Acceptance Movement - The people who brought about the need for this
- Politically Correct - What Project Harpoon is not
- Anorexia - What you have if you think that Project Harpoon is funny
Project Harpoon is part of a series on
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Project Harpoon is part of a series on
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|Featured article August 21 & 22, 2015|
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