Pyromaniac Guy

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
   
 
stan is THEE luckiest guy in the whole wide world and has THEE best girl that ever was, is or will be.
 

 
 

—quote from pyro's MySpace


Science!
Pyromaniac Guy
Pyromaniac's psycho ex visiting Cancerr.

Pyromaniac Guy (aka pyro or stan) is a formerly overweight forum troll who has named himself for his so called love of fire. His posts range from political threads on over to the discussion of female body parts. In this way, he has accumulated more than 16,000 posts in under 5 years of time spent on the stileproject forums. It has been suggested that pyro has so many posts because he does not bother to read what he is typing and it is because of this that pyro has a distinct posting style. This posting style involves a lot of typographical errors, transposed lettering, and grammatical mistakes which lead the reader to believe that they have just read something typed out by a retarded second grader.

Lately, pyro has changed his typing habits for the better. Occasionally, an odd mistake will make it into a post, but for the most part, his faggotry is much easier to read.


Forum Antics[edit]

pyromaniac guy's psycho mail order bride
pyromaniac guy's psycho mail order bride in cuffs
pyromaniac guy's psycho mail order bride in her mugshot
pyromaniac guy's psycho mail order bride's tits
pyromaniac guy's psycho mail order bride's ass
pedomaniac guy
Pyro's soon to be ex-wife enjoying the pool with some high school friends

Some of his antics have generated lulz over the years, here is a small sampling of some of the things he has done:


  • Underwent a huge reduction of weight. While no pictures of his former fat self are available at the moment, pyro was a huge fatty with a dirty Santa Claus beard. In a surprisingly short period of time, he lost his massive weight and became a health nut. This has led many forum members to speculate whether pyro is in fact more than one person using the same account. This would also explain the large number of posts he has accumulated in such a very short time.


  • Has been known to argue a point in a political thread for upwards of six weeks.
concept art


  • Sent s33w33d a bottle of liquor that contained a cobra. While this is funny on its own, the resulting lulz were epic:
 
 
Basically, they just said "Look, we don't know what this is, you can't bring it on the train." So I went back to the office, and dropped it off. Thanks, Pyro, for getting me handcuffed/nearly killed.
 

 

—s33w33d commenting on the whole mess


  • Used his credit card and donated enough money to change several forum member’s custom title from the standard “Official Stile Project Whore” to “I want pyro to put it in my butt like whut.” This donation was somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 dollars.



 
 
crazy, goofy engineer/physicist/entrepreneur/inventor/geek seeks a good time - hasnt quite determined what variables make up the set 'a good time' yet - suggestions welcomed.
 

 

—pyro on his myspace page


  • Divorced a mail order bride. The majority of this article deals with those events.


Mail Order Bride Post[edit]

Pyromaniac guy, ever a intelligent and wise poster, decides to tell his story to the stile project community...What ever could go wrong? Here follows a brief TL;DR of what happened:

  • Pyro marries a total psycho
  • Pyro has sex a few times with that total psycho
  • The total psycho cheats on him
  • The total psycho leaves him
  • The total psycho comes back and uses a can of pepper spray on his face
  • The total psycho goes to jail


pyro's original post detailing his situation
 
 
this was completely unexpected.
 

 

— shen

 
 
the whole thing smacks of a loser trying to get laid by whatever means possible and then having to pay for it the hard way.
 

 

—dan

 
 
BTW, i have been told that my green eyes are dead sexy when peppersprayed if it wasnt for the bloodshot look and puffyness
 

 

—pyro after being maced by his wife


Wanted Man[edit]

 
 
internet personas are rock solid.
 

 

—Tuna, speaking of pyro's normally laid back and sane habits.


Stan turecki, proof of arrest for grand theft, burglery

Michael Farmer Mon, 16 Jun 2008 17:52:33 -0700 I paid for a background check on Mr. Stan Turecki, and here is what I found, of course, tons of files, but the actual arrest and prison sentence are below. He was in prison from Sept 1995 until November 1996, and he stole more than $100,000 in this case. People, we are dealing with a real piece of human crap here, I have got emails from people in Russia, France, and USA. He owes meteorite dealers and collectors well over $100,000. I am, compiling a list to present to the Port Richeypolice department. If this con-man owes you money, let me know, I am going to shut this guy down. Michael Farmer

Criminal Profile

Subject Name:TURECKI, STANLEY FREDERICKDate:6/16/2008 5:29:21 PM

Nationwide criminal search for TURECKI, STANLEY FREDERICK

Subject: Name:TURECKI, STANLEY FOffender Status:INACTIVE OFFENDERSex:MALERace:WHITEHeight:5'6"Eye color:GREENSSN:XXX-XX-7317Date of Birth:08/03/1975Offenses: Offense: 1BURG/UNNOCSTRUCT/CONVEYOffense State: FLOffense Date: 10/14/1994Case Number: 9504295Sentence: 1Sentence Begin Date:09/20/1995Actual Release:11/22/1996Admission Date:10/27/1995

Offense: 2BURG/UNNOCSTRUCT/CONVEYOffense State: FLOffense Date: 03/30/1995Case Number: 9504295

Offense: 3BURGLARY TOOLS-POSSESSOffense State: FLOffense Date: 10/14/1994Case Number: 9504295

Offense: 4GRAND THEFT O/$100,000 1STDEGOffense State: FLOffense Date: 10/14/1994Case Number: 9504295

Offense: 5TRAFFIC IN STOLEN PROPERTYOffense State: FLOffense Date: 10/14/1994Case Number: 9504295

pyro stealing lasurz

Pyro Is Going To Fuck Allie Sin[edit]

Look! Another jailbird in pyromaniac guy's sad life.
Pyro's new girlfriend


   
 
dude, you are becoming a parody of yourself. Make sure this all culminates in a suicide and the rest of us will be happy.
 

 
 

—3MTA3 commenting on the whole subject

Recently, Pyro has made claims that he has the opportunity to have sex with the porn star/erotic dancer who goes by the name Stephanie Draheim when she is not in her professional capacities. While in her professional guise, Stephanie goes by the name of / Allie Sin, a blank faced, unresponsive whore who fucks average losers when she isn't making money on a porn movie set by fucking 12 men at once. What Pyro doesn't seem to realize that he has set himself up for total failure no matter what happens. If he does fuck her, he will have to face scorn of the likes which only the internet can provide and also face the shame of having sloppy seconds of the ultimate kind. If he doesn't fuck her, he is another lying sack of shit that you find on the internet every day...and he is going to have to face scorn only the likes of which the internet can provide.

Pyro has claimed that the cost for such a tryst will be in the neighborhood of one thousand USD, a sum that most recently was mentioned involving the ShamWow guy, Vince Schlomi. Perhaps Pyro should take a lesson from good old Vince and realize that even high class hookers are still human pieces of garbage and that they would rather knife you in the back (or try to bite your tongue off) than actually fuck you for money. Knowing Pyro, the consensus is that he will end up losing the $1,000 and still be a sad pile of used up waste.

Quotes Regarding Allie Sin[edit]

   
 
Maybe you can even get her to mace you during sex.
 

 
 

—s33w33d, hoping for the best when it comes to Pyro.


   
 
she has a record...I wonder if she knows about HIS record?
 

 
 

—Anon chimes in


   
 
we want pics
 

 
 

—Mad Animals, echoing most of the non-believers


   
 
What will Stan have remaining to live for after realizing this ultimate fantasy of his?
 

 
 

—freeViaΔ echoing the hope that Pyro an heroes after this adventure


   
 
cuz we talked about getting together outside of the club. do you think she wants to date me?
 

 
 

—Pyro is a complete retard.


   
 
an emotionally-stunted, (apparently) reformed thief and ex-con, with no idea why his relationships keep failing, wants to pay a sour-faced pornstar for sex.
 

 
 

—SERIOUSLY WHAT COULD GO WRONG? - Irish J


   
 
I cannot fucking believe I am about to post this. But...Pyro dick pics or gtfo.
 

 
 

—3MTA3 acting like a fag as usual.

Quotes[edit]

Its all good.
The loving couple during happier times.
Note the lack of soul in her eyes...
 
 
the stone for her engagement ring was 11,800. the band plus my wedding band was right around 10k. maybe 6k for the apt she was in for a while in cali. a few thousand cash during that time. when she came to fl her and my sister made it into a road trip to do some girl bonding. 9k there iirc. she loved her some manolo blahniks so probably at least 4 or 5 shopping trips to the daily limit of the 3k$ a day debit card she had. a few tens of hits to the atm for the 400$ a day daily limit on said card for cash. maybe 30k$ in stuff i couldnt cancle for the wedding. the dress was 4300$ woulda looked daqmn good on her too...

gave her 10k in dec to get started and for christmas... a few k in january. bringing her folks over set me back about 19k iirc... plus the whole nonsense with child support / custody for my son was because i got hitched. does that count too?

so i dont know - what does that work out to be? I'm sure im missing plenty, but thats a start
 


 

—pyro

 
 
I'm always open to meeting new and interesting like midned individuals. work keeps me infront of the computer alot so the more email pals the better I say.
 

 

—pyro

 
 
he married that girl after knowing her for like 2 weeks
 

 

—aaron

 
 
The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything
 

 

—Friedrich Nietzsche...also on pyro's myspace

 
 
would i sound like a horribly deffensive dirty old man if i argued that she was very mature for her age? (or so i thought)
 

 

—pyro

IRC Logs[edit]

Upon hearing the breaking news, the stileproject forums irc channel was all abuzz with the lols that came with pyromaniac guy's posts.

1:59:39 ddog_: wait wait wait

1:59:50 ddog_: so he knew this chick ONLINE for 4 weeks

1:59:57 ddog_: and decided to fly out there and marry her?

2:00:00 ddog_: what in the jesus fuck

After taking a look at the wife, #spf quickly decided that while hot, she was also a mail order bride with no love for anything other than a green card.

1:37:06 Milamber: Wow, not to be a complete dick, but I don't see any love in these eyes in any of the pictures. http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=29646125&albumId=2589032

1:37:23 jen: she has an amaaaaaaazing body

1:37:26 Milamber: Those are not "I fucking love you so much" looks she's giving.

1:37:44 Gnar: damn...she's hot

1:37:48 dan: mail order bride

1:37:50 GybrMwcs: "yes. i own that butt now."

1:37:53 GybrMwcs: lol rly?

1:37:56 Milamber: Dan, seriously

1:37:59 Gnar: haha

1:38:15 Milamber: "I love you just enough to get my green card and get the fuck away"

1:38:53 MoeFoe: she was prolly picking thru the garbage dump for plastic or wire to recycle to afford her daily tamale

Pyro saved a gold digging whore...but from what?

1:39:05 MoeFoe: BEFORE TEH PYRO SAEVD HER

1:39:05 s33w33d: btw i approve of that myspace girl

1:39:13 s33w33d: even if she's a golddigging whore

1:39:19 MarvZ: lol

1:39:20 Gnar: haha

1:39:24 * @MarvZ requests friends

1:39:25 Gnar: word

1:39:29 MoeFoe: 'hay pyro, proof you pwnt her butt plox, kthx'

1:39:36 MoeFoe: lulz

1:39:41 MoeFoe: snap dawg

Gallery of Pyro[edit]

Pyromaniac Guy Gallery About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

External Links of Interest[edit]


Portalsites.png

Pyromaniac Guy is part of a series on

Sites

Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage.

Stile2.gif Pyromaniac Guy is part of a series on

The Forum

   
People   
CancerrWAXLABLTABLERPyromaniac GuyZombies Make me Hot
Other Items of Interest
Stile ProjectStile RaidGoatseTheForum