RPG Maker

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A program made for wishful thinking nerds who have dreams of getting into the video game industry, RPG Maker is a dysfunctional, over-milked tool by Enterbrain to jew its retarded fanboys for more and more money every year. Approximately 99.998% of the so called "games" created by RPG Maker are half-finished, their plot is just a carbon copy of Final Fantasy III and almost all used sprites stolen from Final Fantasy VI until they came up with over-priced MSPaint-quality shit labeled "resource packs" - you'd actually be surprised.

The RPG Makers[edit]

Don Miguel's game
Amazing State-of-the-Art Graphics!

95[edit]

It was originally released in Japan as "RPG Tsukuru 95". Some wapanese dork by the name of Don Miguel found and translated it into English along with its successor, RPG Tsukuru 2000. Once this happened, everyone who thought they could make a game pretended to. The games were then all erased by the amazing magic of Windows. Since it was a piece of shit people soon abandoned it and switched to RPG Maker 2000.

A typical game.
Another typical game.

2000/2003[edit]

Nobody gives half a shit about RPG Maker 2000 or its nigger half-brother, 2003, and nobody should. Last Thursday nostalgia fags Archeia and Cherry thought it'd be a great idea to petition Enterbrain to get approval to officially release it under their name for e-fame. Of course, this turned out to be a plot by the two to rip-off other nostalgia fags stupid enough to spend money on this shit. Further details on the scam can be found below.

Amazing graphical improvement.

XP[edit]

Apparently, the people at Enterbrain have absolutely no idea that XP is an emoticon, and so they decided to name their next RPG Maker XP. This introduced the concept of "coding", where you could actually edit some parts of the source code of the program, while removing some other useful features the average user would never know to use anyway. This was a huge revelation to the RPG Maker community. Suddenly, everybody could actually make the LoZ-Secrets of Mana-Final Fantasy crossover game they'd always wanted, if they bothered to learn to code. But wait a second, if you've got to learn to program to do it, why waste you're money on an RPG Maker? Why not learn to program, and make your game from scratch?

What topnotch programming skills enable.

VX[edit]

More of the same. Released on July 2010, this is probably best RPG Maker available. A wide variety of scripts also exist, because generous coders with no lives have sprung up to capitalize on the massive amount of n00bs willing to give blowjobs for scripts like flies capitalizing on an infinite well of shit. This time the graphics had to suffer. The basic tile set was limited in amount and size, the character sets became 1 tile tall, drastically converting the maker back to its '95 version.

After 3 years they finally stopped jerking off and released an updated version called ACE, which they should have released in the first place btw. It finally became a lot better than its shitty predecessors. Yes, with the added character base you could make your own Suikoden.

Some half-decent games have been made with this, but they will always and forever be drowned out in a constant outpouring of half-finished horrifyingly badly done Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts/some other shitty azn game remakes that aren't worth their weight in cunt. Make sure to troll on their forums about how you think you're gonna make a fan game better than their own games.


On kickstarter



MV[edit]

Ah, the newest RPG Maker arrived this October. Fanboys all over the world jizzed in their pants since they could make games for iOS, Android and Mac now. Yay, this is everyone's dream come true!!!!11111111one

In reality, the program is a total piece of shit. The database is filled with placeholder text and you need to download it from their website, the game itself is an HTML file which stores saves in cookies and the player included is just a browser. Despite the advertisement, the multi-platform port isn't fully built in, you need to use third party software, and there's an actual tutorial for that included in the help file which isn't even correct!! Wow. Aren't you a total fucking idiot for spending $80 on the pre-order!

Other Makers[edit]

A few years ago, a version of RPG Maker was released on the Playstation; the entire gameplay consisted of the thrill of making an RPG that only you can play! Also, if you wanted to share/sell it with your friends you needed to obey the legal disclaimer, which stated that you had to pixel draw every bit of the RPG in order to do so. Until recently, this caused more deaths than Korean WOW gamers.

  • Enterbrain also produced some RPG Maker games for the PS2 - don't buy these, no matter what you do, ever. Doing so is a sign of severe mongoloidism.
  • Enterbrain also produced a fighting game maker. MUGEN is better. Yes, you read that correctly. MUGEN is actually better than something.
  • Enterbrain also produced something called "Indy Game Maker". It is exactly as shitty as it sounds. Game Maker is better.

See a pattern here?

Legit 2003[edit]

Over a decade after the release of 2003, scam artist Archeia Nessaja wanted to cash in on unsuspecting fans and petitioned Enterbrain to officially translate 2003 and re-release it under her name. Since a mere translation wouldn't be enough to call it a real product, she asked self-titled 1337 haxor Cherry for help.

   
 
since I am probably one of the foremost experts at hacking the RPG Maker 2000/2003 series
 

 
 

—Cherry displaying USI

Why a hacker, you ask? Well guess what! Enterbrain did not give them the source code (which was made known conveniently half a year after release here). So Archeia and this clown sat down and planned out their little scam. Cherry was to hack and add his and other hackers' modifications — for money this time, while Archeia "translated" (copied the strings from VX) and fucked up the windows. All this for the sake of the fans.

Since not everyone is a retard, it was quickly pointed out Cherry can't hack for shit. Some of the more skeptic opinions were crushed by Archeia's bitch fit.


ED RPG[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See also[edit]

HEIL HITLER

External links[edit]

  • RPG maker VX Ace They also created resource packs so they can jew you.
  • Charas Project Run by some German or Russian faggot named Alex (who surprisingly is the name of that gay sprite hero), who once hated everyone for using other RPG Makers because they were illegal, but changed his mind. You can even create your own generated heroes. The forums are the worst due to the lack of intelligent people. It's mostly overrun by wannabe game developers who are mostly 13 year old boys that make cliche plot games and fanboy games.
  • Look at this... These idiots on EDF2 are trying to make a game. Doomed to fail obviously.


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