Raukue

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Atomic.gif Warning!
Raukue's cum tastes bitter liek candy! :D :D :D

Raukue (or David), an obese Mexican gay furry with pedophilic tendencies, is perhaps one of the saddest examples of a human being to exist in this modern world. Basically, imagine every single bad quality you can about a person, and you get Raukue. Raukue was Born and Raised in West Texas, home to the icon of gay, Cowboys. Despite being a faggot, Raukue is prejudiced against bisexuals, because they 'have sex with everybody'. Of course, by Raukue logic, this means he's slept with all the little boys in the world, simply because he's attracted to them. Oh snap!

It shouldn't be surprising to find out that Raukue has zero percent of an IRL social life, saying 'he hasn't touch another human in years'. It has also been revealed that Raukue never leaves the house (vampire?), and is unemployed. Raukue has never had a friend ever in his life, and is currently being the furry leech that he is, suckling the teat of his parents' income like a selfish fuck.

It is shown that Raukue's parents are as equally fucktarded as he is for allowing Raukue to eat their income like the fat, greasy quarter pounders that he buys with it. Of course, if they were sensible parents, they would toss Raukue out on his ass and tell him to stop being such a chronic masturbating furfag, but this isn't likely to happen any time soon. Also, according to Raukue, his sister is a stupid skanky whore. It's said that Raukue's family carries the deadly fail gene, much to the chagrin of lulzologists.

Meet Raukue. This is Raukue's Anus. He wants you to plunge into it with your cock. Raukue's Anus, EDiot. EDiot, Raukue's Anus.
Raukue lieks mudkips, too.
WEN I TURND 18, MI N MY BF TOUCHD PEEPEES, LOL.
Raukue, free to suck the cock of whoever he wants.

Raukue is also a virgin, as are most people so royally fucked up as he. He almost lost his virginity when his previous boytoy was blowing his dick one night, but the little boy stopped after five minutes, because the concept of a shower is a mystery to poor Raukue. The only logical explanation for it even lasting one second is that the poor kid was blindfolded, and his blindfold slipped off after the shota's face was smashed into Raukue's massive fat folds enough times.

Although Raukue is only 19, the signs that he is a pedophile are obvious. Being sure only to draw characters that look under the age of 10, Raukue has violated the likes of Pokemon, Digimon, Neopets, Cave Story, Hamtaro, Maplestory , Yoshi, and Miles "Tails" Prower & Chao from Sonic the Hedgehog numerous times. If that wasn't enough, they're all drawn to have tiny, horribly pointy dicks, and he always refers to the characters in his drawings as 'little boys'. To defend his love for little boys, Raukue claims that all boys 'seem gay anyway', which in Raukue logic, means they're free for the raping. Hell, they want it as far as Raukue is concerned. Everybody gay!

Raukue also loves spooge. No really, he loves it. He even loves it to the point where he 'paws' to videos of horses blowing their load all over the place, and blowing his load onto his stomach rolls and never cleaning it off until he bathes again. Considering all the things Raukue is (a furry, pedophile, zoophile, faggot, fat and a basement dweller), he could be considered a double-triple threat. This could also be applied in weight terms, meaning, he's extremely fucking fat. It's likely that if approached about this, Raukue would outright deny it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. His MSN is located at Raukue@Hotmail.com if you want to bug the shit out of him about it, Raukue on YIM, or raukuegenki on AIM.

Raukue x Ryo[edit]

Raukue also apparently has a boytoy named Ryo, who he interestingly enough didn't start drawing porn of until his 18th birthday (poor kid; they're taken so young~). Although both Raukue and Ryo are technically of age, Raukue still draws both of them with enlarged babydicks, because as stated, Raukue wishes Ryo was an innocent little boy. Thanks to the sick fuckery of what we know as the internet, Raukue has been able to achieve his fantasy.

Raukue and Ryo broke up sometime around the end of May, but Raukue refuses to talk about it, because he's just too shy. Now that Raukue has been freed of his furry tether, he's now slutting around the furry community, sucking the cock of anyone who will let him. What's even sadder is the fact that despite they were broken up, Ryo continued to draw porn of Raukue, due to mourning the loss of his hot, hot, Charmander bod. Immediately after Raukue drew porn of himself fellating a random furfag, they decided to get back together, because Raukue is a lonely individual

Raukue has made claims that he 'almost' met Ryo IRL, but this is obviously a lie, since it would ruin the illusion that he's getting it on with a prepubescent. Raukue claims that his life will become magically perfect as soon as he meets up with Ryo, because he depends on other people for his happiness. Recently, Ryo left his basement to go visit Raukue in Texas for a month, and says he won't be on the internet much. We here at ED greatly await the failed sex stories that can only come from this experience.

Update: Visit over. As soon as Ryo was a safe distance from Raukue, he dumped Raukue. They are still "Friends" because Ryo's a pussy about hurting anyone. Someone - that is most certainly not a albino cabbit - who knows them both also heard news Ryo got attacked at least once during the visit, via Falcon Punch to the arm during an argument. At a mere 50% damage, Ryo was able to crawl back onto the stage via a double jump and recite bible lines to make Rau cry for what he done. K.O. Visit ended a few days after.

Raukue Wants You to Draw Him[edit]

Around the end of March, Raukue stated that he wants people to draw him, but in a very specific way. This meant;

  • Raukue's character must not participate in acts of scat, guro, watersports, bondage or vore.
  • If you're going to include someone else in the picture, you MUST draw him sodomizing Ryo. MUST. Although other people in the picture are fine too, if they're fapping to the massive amount of faggotry.
  • Remembering not to mistake him with Charmander, as I'm sure in real life he looks very much like a tiny little red lizard from Pokemon.

This of course meant that he wants you to do the complete opposite. Remember, we are dealing with furries here, and furries have a twisted sense of logic. In response to this, all resident Encyclopedia Dramatica artists are encouraged to contribute to this. Make sure to...

  • Include at least two of the fetishes Raukue mentions above
  • Include him and his boytoy for two extra letter grades
  • Stamp 'Raukue is copyright Pokemon' somewhere on the picture.

If you feel dirty afterwards, bathe until the point where your skin has taken to the resemblance of a 80 year old woman. Remember, it can just be really fucking violent and not sexual.

Raukue Tells it All[edit]

There are no words.
Babyfuck? What's he going to draw next, two Charmander fetuses 69ing? Oh god no.
"This is what happens when too many boys are aroused at once and surrounded by the smell of other little boys."--Raukue
ORGY TRAIN!
Thanks for raping my face, Ardy! Here's some pedoporn to show my appreciation.

A few months ago, EDiot Pokchu went undercover to get as much embarrassing information out of Raukue as possible. Because Raukue is a lonely, gullible idiot, he immediately opened up to Pokchu, and told him all of his embarrassing character traits.

Great Quotes


   
 
heh, i hardly have any vids, my standards are too high now. it must be a lengthy vid, and it must be good action, and not too baby looking. 12 is a good low for me. younger is ok as long as they don't look all baby, bleh. but 12 or so, because they can cum possibly
 

 
 

—Raukue


   
 
and just because i like that stuff doesn't mean i go out to do it. i would never. only if they wanted it. otherwise, i would never push myself on someone like that. but i never go out, don't know anyone at all IRL, fearful of going out, and i have a mate so i wouldn't do anything with anyone anyways
 

 
 

—Raukue


   
 
i dunno what you mean by not sane. sane is not the word, being not sane is not the word. {:} Luls. Not sane is not the word? Wut? {:} insane is like... a psycho path sort of thing. no grip on reality, or like all those furs that think they are really an animal
 

 
 

—Raukue


   
 
i mean, if you call yourself bi and like guys more, you are gay man. you are gonna have to end up with one person anyways, be with the one that you like more and stop being such a baby and afraid to be all gay. they call gays dirty. psh. those people who call themselves bi's are dirty cause they do everyone
 

 
 

—Raukue


   
 
i shower once a week pretty much, sometimes miss a week
 

 
 

For even moar quotes, go here!

Encounters with Raukue IRL[edit]

Ardy

Some time during the month of May, in a daring move, Raukue put one foot out the door (no doubt while holding a large umbrella over his head, to shield him from the villain that is sunlight) to go mingle with people he met online at some furfag meet called Prancing Skiltaire. Not surprisingly, Raukue sat in the corner the whole time with his laptop, because socializing with people, to Raukue, is like injecting heroin into your face.

According to an Anonymous source, Raukue really is fat, stubby and pale in real life, and apparently Hispanic. He likes to constantly complain that he's in pain when he tries to walk, bringing up the question of how he uses the bathroom. While there, Ardy decided to IRL troll him and raped Raukue, and forced Raukue to perform oral on him. Raukue of course didn't care he was being raped, because any sex is good sex. According to the source, Raukue actually gives excellent head, due to him being hungry all the time, and not hesitating when it comes to wolfing on some cock.

FUCK YOU, I'M A RABBIT![edit]

Raukue, prepared to whore himself out to the world.

In a strange turn of events, Raukue decided to prove once and for all that fursonas mean absolutely nothing. With a snap of his chubby, greasy fingers, he changed from a faggy Charmander with weeaboo hair to...a hare with weeaboo hair. And leather. It is unknown if Raukue will ever accept the fact that he's a HYOOMAN like the rest of us, but as he slowly distances himself from reality, it seems as though Raukue is doomed to remain a furry forever. Some argue that Raukue did this because he thinks changing fursonas will help him escape his disastrous past, because running from your problems is better than actually dealing with them. Oh, Raukue.

Raukue's Art[edit]

As if Raukue wasn't already royally fucked up enough, he also enjoys writing little back stories for his cub porn. Because we here at ED do not care care about your mental sanity, here they are all, intact. PROTIP: If you're ever in need of images to flood during raids, Raukue's art is always a reliable source of vomit inducing shit, now wash your eyes with this.

See also[edit]

Lulzy comments on his DA/FA[edit]

External Links[edit]

Fur series.jpg

Raukue is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Portal faggotry.png

Raukue is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article April 10, 2007
Preceded by
Pussyhawks
Raukue Succeeded by
Todd Goldman