Rennies

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Doesn't your Great-great-grandmother have nice cleavage?
Tron Guys New Gig
Pictured: knight cosplayers; not pictured: dignity

Rennie is the slang term for what amounts to a bunch of low self esteem furries who dress up as peasants, kings, queens, and knights in order to make themselves feel more important. Really, who wouldn't want to return to simpler times when men were men, women looked like men, page boys looked like women, and there wasn't a decent form of healthcare or sanitation?

Who doesn't love dental decay, the plague and sewers flowing with shit and trash? If this is what Rennies really want they should just move to one shit hole or another and live it every day where they can get gang raped by invaders, be malnourished and die before they are 40. There are very few that are not grotesquely fat so perhaps hyper fattening food is older than previously known.

Rennies were basically the first roleplayers and the first cosplayers. Cosplayers evolved into furry and otherkin faggots. If these people never existed, maybe the internets wouldn't be such a festering pile of shit.

They're very often elitist about their "status" as rennies, and band together and force out anyone who rubs a member the wrong way. Much like the internet you will also never see a non-white rennie, being as how the only role they could play accurately is that of a slave, (basketball and (c)rap and crack being a few hundred years off). Because of this there are no Wiggers which makes the whole thing possibly worth while.

Subspecies[edit]

There are several subspecies of the Rennies, as if specializing in one aspect of being a loser makes it any better. Women get to play people of 0 status, the guys play zero status as well but back home their Dungeons and Dragons character is lvl 50.

Jugglers - Juggling is what nerds did before the computer was invented. Tossing shit in the air repeatedly, monotonously is pretty much like leveling up if you think about it. Jugglers love the ren fair because it's one of the few places they can take their skill out into the public and not get beat up for it.

Wenches - a surprisingly popular role for women to take. Wenches are often frustrated prostitutes who no one will give any money to and instead wait for her to get drunk before fingering her in the back of the bar. At the Ren Fairs cleavage is of high importance as dresses are expected to drag in the mud and horseshit. Because of this it's one of the few realms where fat chicks get noticed and skinny bitches don't, thusly RenFair often equates with cattle call.

Knights - are overcompensating in the same way that guys with Corvettes do, lots of extra metal that they spend all their free time tinkering with. Jousting is two guys with big animals between their legs carrying long phallic poles trying to stick them into each other.

Princesses - Stuck up bitches who would be camwhores if they were in a wifi zone.

Lute Players / minstrels - Make folk singers look like metal heads. Play songs that make you want to head bang with some John Denver hammer broken glass into your ears and listen to 11 minutes of some bald guy rapping and beating his fists on a mix board just to get the noise out of your head.

Jesters - Dress like gay juggalos and act like mimes, except they talk, which makes them fail 10 times harder than mimes.

Renaissance Rule 34[edit]

External link[edit]