Requests for adminship
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Typically, a user nominates themselves or sucks a current admin's cock for a nomination. Any wannabe who runs this gauntlet will get raped and abused in every way imaginable. Every single cavity is probed. This goes on for seven days, which is known as "Hell Week" among the Wikipedos, however some chicken out before this. If the newfag survives this then they are promoted to Sysop for the further pleasure of the Wikipedophiles. Some sick fucks enjoy this, however most end up scarred for life. As such, RfA is a good trolling tactic for harassing your enemies while maintaining the appearance of being amicable.
RfA is typically a battle ground where users fight over who gets to have high power users in their guild. Perennial discussion topics on the talk page include crying a river over the fact that the pool of Wikipedos are getting more and more infested with AIDS causing editors and admins to quit, and screaming that the world will end because there are no newfags on the chopping block, and sacrificing babies in Satan's name to prevent this from happening. As this is a popular meme on the RfA page, one can improve their chances by running when it is empty.
At the end of a RfA, a bureaucratic fuck judges if the user is pleasureful enough to promote to an admin. Sometimes, a full tribunal is held. If the user has been raped more than 80 times, the RfA will most likely pass. Generally, if the user was gangbanged 70-80 times the RfA will pass, however if it is around 70 the bureaucratic fuck must use their discretion, by taking them out for a spin themselves. This standard has changed over time, and got lower over the years.
A typical RfA
- Support All of the below
All of the below do not matter at all. In fact, fuck the rules! YOU'RE ALL ADMINS!
- Oppose Too many admins currently.
- Oppose Does not meet my criteria. User has only 3999 edits. I would like to see at least 4000.
- Oppose I view self-noms as prima facie evidence of power hunger.
- Oppose Offensive user box.
- Oppose Per answer to Question #69.
Requests for Bureaucratship (RfB)
Hosted on the same page is a page where users can become "Bureaucrats" [sic]. 'Nuff said. It is harder to pass, and users who pass get to decide the outcomes of RfAs as shown above.
Notable enemies of the state
Every now and then, a user makes votes with logic too advanced for the TOW users. This leads to conflict between the users who want to censor them and those who defend their freedom of speech, sparking much butthurt, votes for banning, etc.
- Kmweber was a user who added the vote
Oppose — I view self-noms as prima facie evidence of power hunger.to every self nom. This impeccable logic sparked the rage and bullying of the TOW admins. Kmweber was driven off but eventually came back.
- DougsTech was a user who spammed
Oppose — Too many admins latelyon every single RfA. See the ED page for more details.
- Keepscases~enwiki was a troll who opposed every atheist for displaying "offensive userboxes" on their page.
At least 100 RfA's fail per year because of personal vendettas and the inherent risk of an eBay sale. Also, getting in a argument with someone pretty much guarantees that they'll pop in your RfA with and make an oppose vote. So when working towards a sock admin account, one must not make enemies.
- Chzz is a user who almost passed despite suspicions that he had been using sock puppets, however in what was probably the most stupid move a Wikipedo could make, he edited his own RfA using an abusive sock he had been using. His RfA immediately tanked, even his nominator withdrew his support. Chzz's sock was blocked, but Chzz was allowed to continue editing. We missed out on all the lulz he would have made if this sock wielding wikipedo did become an admin. See Pastor Theo and Law below.
- Enigmaman 2 This wikipedo decided to vandalise whilst not logging in. Unfortunately for him Bureaucratic Fuck Deskana check user'd his IP. This resulted in much lulz and drama.
- PROTIP: Next time use a proxy.
- flying Toaster declared she wrote more than 150 articles. After a successful RFA another wikipedo found out all the articles were cunt-pasted from websites.
- Giggy formerly known as Dihydrogen Monoxide got an unprecedented 300 support votes yet he withdrew after the nominator got butthurt. The user felt so much butthurt he decided to change his name and blank his RFA.
- Senator Palpatine is someone who failed epically at the aforementioned plan.
- Pastor Theo was a sock of the banned user Ecoleetage and passed RfA, presumably because Pastors and TOW admins have common ground on Wikipedia. Pastor Theo used another sock account Mrs. Wolpoff to abusively win AfD debates. This was uncovered by a sock check on the former account, leading to the desysop and blocking of the account. See also Arbcom statement.
- Law was successfully nominated for RfA by GlassCobra. However, it was discovered that Law was actually The Undertow, a banned ex-admin; GlassCobra later acknowledged he was aware of the sock account when he put the RfA forward. Law was promptly blocked while GlassCobra had his tools ripped out for being the first admin to knowingly nominate a sockpuppet for adminship; however, GlassCobra's adminship was restored four months later following a direct appeal to Arbcom. LaraLove also had her admin rights yanked for helping her BFF Law win RfA.
- Wiki Greek Basketball an editor with over 35,000 edits and over 100 created articles managed an epic troll of the ANI boards in retaliation of his failed RfA - Wiki Greek Basketball's RfA. The then-17-year-old admin Coffee apparently made the mistake of pissing him off at his RfA. What ensued was an epic hall of fame troll of the ANI board which began here Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents User:Wiki Greek Basketball and grew so big that they had to give him his own pages to troll Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents/Wiki Greek Basketball, User:Bwilkins/WGB.
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