Ricardo Lopez

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Ricardo Lopez, also known as the "Björk stalker", was an IRL troll who was known for stalking the wonderful singer Björk, and eventually becoming an hero, at the age of 21, for his sweetheart. Lopez was one of the very first Vloggers in history, constantly making lulzy videos about shit going on in his life, and his love for Björk, whom he wished to torture for her incredibly shitty singing and his own sexual pleasure. While many people wished to do the same thing to her, Ricardo was the first to stand up and try to, though his efforts went to waste when the pigs discovered, and intercepted the acid-spraying bomb he sent her after watching the video he had taped of his suicide. Ricardo is also notable for being insane as all fuck. Some examples are:

1. Shaving his head.

2. Painting his face.

3. Walking around naked while fat.

4. Showing off your moobs and dancing.

5. Shooting yourself in the head over Björk.

6. Giving a shit about Björk.

7. Viewing Björk as a daughter figure even though she was 31 at the time and he was 10 years younger than her.

8. Wanting to torture Björk for his own sexual pleasure even though he viewed her as a daughter figure.

The Diaries and Self-Pwning[edit]

On some shitty news program:
His final video log entry:

One more fatass has bought the farm as a failure.

He can build an acid bomb but can't an hero properly. Even in suicide he fails.

Aftermath[edit]

"He did what?...lulz"
Goldie epic trolling
Ricardo inducted into memedom
Lopez as seen in Star Wars

It was later found out that the reason he killed himself and attempted killing Björk was not because of her shit music or weird looks, but because she was engaged to some high yellow britfag by the name of Goldie, which made poor Ricardo mad. He of course, having no sense of reality before committing suicide, and not realizing that stalkers never get any pussy, wanted her dead for her betrayal. Even more lulz were had when his tapes were released onto the internets by the fiancé, for great justice. It also turned out that Bjork and her then lover, Goldie, broke up early in September of 96, possibly a week or a few days before Ricardo gave his gun a voracious blowjob. In a sense, he killed himself over nothing but at the same time, did the world a huge favor. One less fat beaner in the world! He claimed that his last words were "fuck the world", but right after he said that, he started speaking shit no one cares about for about one minute, then he started breathing like a total dumbass for about one more minute, he yelled something that was barely English, and then finally he shot himself and his official last words were "HUUURRRR DDURRRRRR OOOGGGGHHHH OOURRGH".

Quotes[edit]

   
 
Look at this beautiful face. This cute, innocent, sweet and shy thing. Well, SHE'S FUCKING A NIGGER. Can you believe that?
 

 
 

—Ricardo's finesse knows no bounds.


   
 
I.. I've never dreamed of fucking her,.. OK. The only thing I ever fantasized about if anything was bringing her pleasure, to satisfy her needs. You know, eating her out or something like that you know just giving her entire pleasure just.. because you know... fulfilling her earthly needs. Kay... Not... Not fucking her, because I know that I'm not sufficient for that, okay. I have prostate problems and I got a little dick and I'm fat and I have no stamina.
 

 
 

— Ricardo, not ashamed of his physique.


   
 
A lot has to do with her child-like looks and her child like voice...
 

 
 

—Ricardo confessing that he may be prone to kiddy fiddling.


   
 
Fuck the world, that's my last words.
 

 
 

—Our hero


   
 
HURR DURR!
 

 
 

—Second to last words


   
 
OOOGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 

 
 

—Our hero's actual last words


   
 
He admits to being obsessed with Bjork, alludes to her having a relationship with a black man, and in his words, that was unacceptable.
 

 
 

—Florida police


   
 
Why someone is obsessed with Bjork, the world will never know...
 

 
 

—TheCloudOfSmoke

Lessons Learned[edit]

Mailing Björk a bomb is stupid, some other fat, deranged lunatic will hopefully try something else and succeed.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


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