Ricers

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Typical Ricer
Instruction manual.
Typical Ricers at a meet.
Looking back, it was clearly a mistake to stop after only two bombs.
Rednecks can be Ricers too.
The Ricer's 'bible'...

It should be noted that while a ricer is the person that drives the car the term rice rocket is the term for the car itself.

A ricer is a failed attempt at making a car built in Japan and Mexico, look WAI FASTER AND GET PUZZAY!!1oen. The term comes from the fact that third world countries can only afford to eat rice and mod their inefficient rides with broken toilet-seats, duct-tape, and eBay turbochargers. Unless you're a ricer or suffer from homosexuality it is blatantly obvious that these cars are hilariously ugly. Despite centering on Japanese cars, if you see a Volkswagen driving down the street with a gigantic spoiler that could only be useful when breaking the sound barrier, do not hesitate to call it rice.

"Rice", "ricing", etc., by definition is: "Adding an enhancement to a vehicle incapable of utilizing it, such as: Large rear spoilers for cars that are unable to go faster than 85mph, decals for items not equipped, meaningless bodywork or "bodykits", or any further modifications done solely to make the vehicle look faster than it truly is." A bodykit itself is not necessarily rice, but when applied to a Pontiac Sunfire, Honda Civic DX or Hyundai Accent, the bodykit becomes rice.


What makes a car riced?[edit]

Typical Riced cars feature the following:

  • Every body panel must be a different color, or primed.
  • VTEC Just Kicked In Yo
  • Body kits that make you stick out like a champion, and are so low to the ground that you are constantly chipping your bumper on every little stone in the road.
  • Giant wings and spoilers on the trunk, if no trunk exists then the spoiler is usually located on top of the car near where a trunk should be. The more levels the better. It is also more effective if you use a park bench due to the natural wood fibers. Don't forget to attach a spoiler to your car's hood, doing this will make your ricer even hotter and you will get pussy from 16-year-old girls.
  • Blinky LED's and neon pipes in all of your parts. TEHY MaYk IT FAZTAH111.
  • After market part stickers on your car even though it is completely stock and in fact is probably missing engine parts.
  • Stickers for parts you don't have. For example, having a "HKS Turbo" sticker while your car is naturally aspirated.
  • Emblems for cars that yours is not [Type-R badge on an Escort]
  • Carbon fiber parts such as but not limited to trunks, hoods, shift knobs, dashboards, license plate frames, license plate holders, racing seats, and taillights. Its is a known fact that carbon fiber adds extra VTEC and makes you go even faster. True ricers call it CF. (CF parts may actually be useful, but not when combined with 500kg of stereo-gear.)
  • Extra gauges that do nothing. Switches too. Your car's interior must look like a cockpit. Usually made from carbon fiber to make you even faster, including but not limited to a 5" MONSTER TACH, because having a tachometer with a 10,000RPM range makes your car capable of such.
  • A Shift light, because the sheer acceleration of a Nissan Micra is so great, that looking away from the road to check the 5" MONSTER TACH is too dangerous.
  • Stickers of flames and dragons on the sides and lots of chrome spray for the rims.
  • Crazy ass paint jobs, screaming "PULL ME OVER FOR DOING 48 IN A 45". Usually made by using spray cans.
  • Massive, goatse-like exhaust pipes called a fart cannon due to the sound they make, one for each cylinder, no less than 3" in diameter.
  • Having furry dice and lots of toys dangling from your extended rear-view mirror.
  • Extremely large subwoofers and speakers to maximize bass so you will be heard coming from at least 100 miles away
  • Hood clips securely attached to the trunk.
  • Fake stick-on air vents on front side (originally pioneered by Buick), even though the front vent is more than sufficient for the engine.

Ricer Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External Links[edit]

Saturn "tuning" site, considered ".. The ED of Plastic Cars" by many users

How to drive a ricer if you happen to be in possession of one

Anti-Rice Forum based Support Group for the motoring elite.


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Ricers is related to a series on AZNS.

[Domo ArigatoHerrow]

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