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Ringtones

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The King of Ringtones Crazy Frog will make you blow your brains out.

Ringtones are crappy 20 second clips of your fave faggy song which untold millions of 16-year-old girls and 13-year-old boys shell out $4 per at least once a week to customise their cell phones. The fact that nobody uses the phone to make calls any more -preferring to text message- is besides the point; what good is a default ring tone when you can impress your friends with your alleged taste in music?

Record companies like [Warner Music may be BAAAAWWWing to anyone who'll listen that piracy and iTunes are killing music and that they're losing gobs of money because of it but they're the ones who're committing highway robbery by jacking dumbass teens for what amounts to the price of 1/5th of a CD. However, these actions are completely excusable because only stupid people pay them.

Do the math: the average CD is 75 minutes long and costs $20. That's 4500 seconds for $20. That's 225 seconds for $1. And you're going to pay $4 for 20 seconds of not even ogg quality crap? You are a fucking moron. You have been raped in the ass by a major label. If labels sold CDs priced on this math, it would cost you $900 for a full length album.

What's that? You don't think this is big business? It is estimated that sales of ringtones in Murka alone is around $800 million annually. They even have fucking awards for selling buttlosds of ringtones.

But you prolly don't care because your mom is paying your cell bill. Either that or -like millions of other idiots- just because you don't see paper money changing hands, it's not real is it? Dumb fucks would prolly put a yacht on their cell phone bill if they could.

How to make your own iPhone ringtones and rape Apple's revenue in the process[edit]

  1. Legally obtain a copy of the song in non-DRM form.
  2. Open an audio editing program such as Audacity.
  3. Isolate under 40 seconds of audio to be your ringtone.
  4. Export as WAV.
  5. Import the file into iTunes. If you already have 4000 crunkcore songs making it hard to find new entries, either sort by Date Added or drag the new file into its own private playlist.
  6. Right-click and choose "Create AAC version".
  7. Go into the iTunes folder > iTunes Media > Music > Unknown Artist > Unknown Album > (your file name).m4a
  8. Copy it somewhere else and change the extension to .m4r. Open it. You now have a totally free ringtone.
  9. Send an email to Steve Jobslol, dead telling him to go fuck himself.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Ringtones is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
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