- Web IRC
Robtran, aka Rob Anderson, aka Slobtran, is a morbidly obese, 44 year old virgin on YouTube. Even though he claims to be a comedy writer, he is unfunny. 9/11, The Holocaust, Hurricane Katrina, and Bob Saget are just a few things that are funnier than Robtran.
He is the cause of global warming, aids, and ironically the cure to world hunger.
Robtran has no job.
He got fired for being a huge gay baby.
—Robtran on everything.
Robtran always starts out his videos by enthusiastically announcing "Hi folks! Robtran here" (as if more than one person watches his videos). He always wears the same Hawaiian shirt in each video which he is unable to change out of because the cloth fused into his skin. His usual videos consist of him singing (horribly), killing classic SNL and Monty Python sketches, and acting like a dumbass. Recently, he has focused less on his "comedy" and focused more on making vlogs about how evil Republicans are and videos featuring his slutty mom and his retarded looking dad.
UPDATE They're not his real parents. Robtran was adopted.
NOTE: When asked about the day they adopted little Robtran. His new parents were quoted saying "It was the worst decision of our lives."
Believe it or not, Robtran's videos were actually gayer than they are now. His first videos were text-only featuring some of his hilarious jokes, such as one asking if your pussy glowed in the dark, and then it turned out he was asking about your cat (LOL, get it?) Here is another "side-splitter."
Wannabe YouTube Celebrity
Although Rob has no talent whatsoever, his ultimate dream in life is to get thousands of subscribers and have them all suck his cock (If they can find it). So he's kissing the ass of popular YouTube users such as Mark Day, Battim, and Pipistrillo as an obvious sub-whoring tactic. Even when Battim gave him a huge shout out in one of his videos, Rob only got a few subs...and no one would suck his cock.
Rob is known to beg for subscribers, and people often take pity on the fat, pathetic "nice guy" and do it. He once made a video promising to bite the head off of a live chicken if he reached 250 subs on May 12, 2008. Of course, Rob never reached this goal and has yet to bite the head off any chicken (unless fried). Rob's latest tactic is using cute puppies to lure subs in.
Rob is notorious for bitching about his comments and ratings, because no one likes him. His average video racks up an amazing 87 views with about six comments, yet he is convinced his haters (whom he is secretly in love with) continuously return to his gay porn videos over 9,000 times to rate them 1 star, because nothing is more important AMIRITE? Even though it has been explained over and over to his fatness videos may only be rated one time.
One day, Rob's subscription number mysteriously jumped from about 150 to over 1,200. Rob claims it was a "glitch," although this "glitch" only seemed to have affected him. Once people caught on, Rob was forced to post a disclaimer where he said that his actual sub count was 200+. But when YouTube restored Rob's subscription number, he only had about 190.
Currently he has over 4,600 subscribers. When people noticed all of his subscribers were fake profiles he knew his jig was up and now claims someone else mysteriously paid $200 for the fake subscribers.
Robtran Sucks Nuts
In February 2008, Rob made a video entitled "Robtran's $100 Challenge," where he tried to bribe people to make a video in which he sucks their nuts. When only one person, apart from 2 of his major haters, made a response, Rob got pissed. On Valentine's Day 2008, instead of going out and getting his cock sucked, Rob made a video going apeshit on both of his subscribers for not making videos sucking their nuts. Realizing what an ass he made of himself, he quickly removed the video.
Robtran has a very strict way of running his channel. Although he claims that he welcomes constructive criticism, Rob will block ANYONE who doesn't suck his fat, piggly little cock. He also tends to disable his ratings or otherwise his videos will get 1-2 star ratings.
Haters and Drama
Rob has a lot of enemies on YouTube. He gets pwned on a regular basis by teenage kids from Scotland, Belgium and a man in a bear costume. Haters must beware, because Rob is known to threaten people with his pretend lawyer!
Melvin - Some Belgian kid that used to be a prime Robtran hater. According to Robtran, his full name is Melvin Van Melkele. Has now retired, after extorting Robtran in a video which led to the unfortunate event of Melvin's arrest and subsequent conviction. Provider of the hilarious 'Fuck valentine's day' video.
DonkeyPunch95 - DonkeyPunch95 is a 19-year-old kid from Scotland who had been getting under Robtran's skin for a while. When he and his friends tried to enter Robtran's $100 challenge, Rob wouldn't accept him, so DonkeyPunch called him out on it. Rob responded by making a fallacious video where he claims that he contacted Scottish government authorities and almost had DonkeyPunch arrested for "extortion". Of course, DonkeyPunch called bullshit and caused Robtran to make himself to look like an even bigger ass than he already is.
ZanyBear - In early 2008, the YouTube user ZanyBear (who is a middle-aged man in a bear suit) called out Robtran for his blocking people, his outrageous claims (Rob claimed to have close ties to Disney and YouTube editors), and his critiquing of others videos even though his own videos suck ass. Rob responded by challenging ZanyBear and his followers to a game of Call of Duty 2. Of course, ZanyBear declined because "Bears do not like guns!"
Eventually, Robtran reluctantly unblocked ZanyBear before he could make Rob look even more like an ass.
ArtieTSMITW - In 2007, Robtran tried to enter an auction held by the popular YouTube user ArtieTSMITW's sister's Ebay auction. When he was kicked out of the auction, Rob went apeshit again and gave out Artie and his sister's personal info as well as threatening to use his lawyer against them. Occasionally, Artie calmly confronts Rob in a mature manner, but Rob resorts to childish comebacks.
Robtran is part of a series on YouTube.