Rules 1 and 2

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Old media failing to understand Rules 1 and 2 when reporting the incident.

Fight Club's famous Rules 1 and 2 were adopted by /b/tards to become part of the Rules Of The Internet. After all, /b/ IS Fight Club, bitch.


   
 
Rule 1: You do not talk about /b/
Rule 2: You DO NOT talk about /b/

 

 
 

—Simple rules.

It is very important to remember that the internet is serious fucking business and that these rules must be obeyed. If they are not obeyed 4chan might be shut down and the internet superheroes who use it will have nowhere to say nice things to anonymous people.


   
 
Anyone who takes the rules seriously is a complete faggot.
 

 
 

—People who aren't faggots

Breaking the aforementioned rules is an unavoidable consequence of having to explain them to noobs. This is ok however, because the rules were made by Gaiafags. Rules 1 and 2 were taken lightly until the fallout from the The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006 left /b/ a shell of what it used to be. Since then, many /b/tards have taken it upon themselves to protect the name of /b/ from the internet. Camwhores may circumvent the rules, but only by writing it on their (fake) tits.


The interpretation of the rules is still up for debate. Some argue that the merely mentioning 4chan outside of 4chan counts as an infraction, while Newfags tell all their 13-year old friends about /b/ and turn it into fucking MySpace.Occasionally, however, these newfags will enforce Rules 1 and 2 with a religious fervor rivaling the most conceited of oldfags. Of course, this is less because they want to stop more of their cancerous kind from invading /b/ and more because 4chan is their soopper sekrit clubhouse that dispenses free porn and funny pictures. LOL RULEZ 1 AN 2 XD!

Violations of Rules 1 & 2[edit]

Newfag learns that breaking the Rules gets you b&
Rules are serious business.

Arguments of Rules 1 & 2[edit]

A Counter Argument[edit]

Batrules.jpg

As Rules 1 & 2 of the Internet originally came from Fight Club, they retain their original purpose: to keep new people out. Newfags don't understand /b/, and bastardize everything they touch in it. Also, the August Exception only serves to make Rules 1 & 2 into a useless declaration to keep potential raid targets from entering /b/.

Furthermore, trolling /b/ is like pissing in an ocean of piss. Average people who venture into /b/ are driven out by an autoimmune system of guro, racism, foul language, and constant trolling welcomed warmly with easy to insert, old and shitty meme suppositories. A major reason to NOT talk about /b/ (except to other /b/tards) is to prevent bullshit like this.

Unfamiliar newfags that completely and arrogantly ignore these rules cause time-treasured (or otherwise) memes to be stolen by Jews. When newfags follow The August Exception, shit like the Longcat Crusade, this Gaia Online faggotry, and this I Can Has Cheezburger? shit happens.

Rules 1 & 2 apply everywhere. DON'T FUCKING FORGET IT. This means no /b/ T-shirts, no /b/ posters, no /b/ tattoos; nothing that promotes or advertises /b/. Promoting or advertising 4chan is something a bit different, but considering faggots usually walk up to you and ask "lolwats 4chon?!?!?!?!" it's probably not a good idea to talk about 4chan either.

Another Quick Point[edit]

   
 
You're a fucking noob if you don't know the rules of 4chan. #1: Don't talk about /b/. #2: DON'T TALK ABOUT /b/!.
 

 
 

—Anonymous, on the Times Top 100 poll commentating on Anon's normal posting activities, March 2009.

While these may be the "Rules of the Internet", they are not necessarily endorsed by 4chan itself. One click on the actual rules of 4chan reveals that besides the normal limitations, 4chan is essentially rule-free, and we all know that 4channers follow the 4chan rules.

The August Exception[edit]

In an attempt to save face, Anonymous attempted to rewrite history with the following declaration:


   
 
Rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids.
 

 
 

—Anonymous, in /b/ replying to Anonymous citing "Rule #1 and #2" on August 7th, 2007

Anonymous will probably repeat it until it catches on and is accepted as truth by all /b/tards.

Citing The August Exception in reply to citations of Rules 1 & 2 became a meme in itself, instantly creating drama between supporters and detractors of The August Exception.

But hey, it's not like anonymous will organize another raid ever again right?

The Animal Farm Exception[edit]

   
 
2 rules good, 4 rules bad.
 

 
 

This was inserted just to annoy people who think that ED is turning into Uncyclopedia.

See Also[edit]

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