—George S. Patton
The Khanate of Russia or Tsardom of Russia is an Arctic shithole, and is quite literally what happens when hell freezes over. It was formerly a great country during the reign of the Soviet Union. It's capital is aptly named Mosque-Cow which is base of operations for Queer Muslim Gremlins that dwell within fortress Kremlin. Mother Russia is inhabited by inbred Communist bear-fighting drunks with kalashnikows for dicks and mail order brides. Now Russia is like its former enemy the USA, an ultra-capitalist pseudodemocracy, the inhabitants are widely considered Euro-niggers. As part of their primitive vodka-nigger nature, they often attack other countries for the lulz because that's what freedom is all about. Also, Russia recently has become the first country which officially supports Darfur genocide, because the people of Fur, Masalit and Zaghawa like to refer to themselves as "God's chosen people"... and when you do so, you're basically asking for it.
- 1 Geography
- 2 ðe Olde History
- 3 Government
- 4 Foreign Policy
- 5 Military
- 6 Economy
- 7 Religion
- 8 People
- 9 Russians as immigrants
- 10 Notable Russians
- 11 Culture
- 12 Music
- 13 Sport
- 14 Russian National Anthem
- 15 Trolling the Russians
- 16 Anon in Russia
- 17 Gallery
- 18 External links
- 19 See also
ðe Olde History
At least 100 years ago the Kievskaya Rus' ruled the area. Contrary to popular Russian belief, it was in fact founded by some lost Vikings who were hunting for
Tartar Finno-Ugric aka "Russian" women because they wanted slaves.
FUN FACT: The word "SLAV-E" was actually derived from the word "Slav" because "Slavs" use to be "Slav
es" traded by the heathen, no-good, pillaging, wimmin-raping, Jew Gold stealing Varangians! Long live Thor! Yep, that's actually no coincidence! Slavs=Slaves and their history reflects that pretty damn well! Please tell that to Ukrainians (yepp, Ukrainians, because it is well known fact that Russians are Finno-Ugric, in fact, there were no Russians at the time, and modern-day Ukrainians and Belarusians were being referred to as "ov the Rus" meaning "slaves of Rus", which is a Finnish name of the Swedish Vikings) next time :-)
Vladimir I had to decide between which Kike-worshipping religion to convert to so he stole Eastern Orthodoxy. His reasoning behind doing so was Muslims stank, were pitiful, and forbade alcohol, Jews had clearly been abandoned by their god, and Catholics were barbarians that lived in mud huts (its true). Vladimir wanted some Roman chick to be his wife. She was religious, and wanted whole country to be Jew. He said: "Fuck that(Rus')!". So he stole Eastern Orthodoxy from the Byzantines and the Orthodoxy came...
In the 13th century Genghis Khan’s grandkid invaded and pwned the Kievskaya Rus'. Sweden tried to join the party, but everyone laughed at them because they hadn’t created cellular telephones yet. The Mongols controlled Russia through tribute for at least three hundred years, which is a long time. This is why all the Russian tapestries and picture books from a few centuries ago have the bad guys looking like Guy Sebastian, who all Russians think is ugly. In 1480, Ivan the Great got Moscow organized. By 1480 Western Europe was experiencing a renaissance in art and faith, while the Russians were still stretching their asses open to see how much vodka they could fill it with. Ivan I's grandson, Ivan the Terrible, got the throne when he was three, which explains a lot. He became the first Czar as a teenager and set the my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours precedent for the rest of Russian history. He also set the precedent for invading random obscure little countries, after which he finally kicked the collective Mongolian ass out of Russia.
Ivan the Terrible was an incredible lolcow. As an 8 year old boy, he was molested by the majority of boyars presiding under him. Hobbies of Ivan included robbing his own subjects, killing animals for fun, and sitting by the fire with a nice book. When Ivan got around to settling down and marrying, he had a Mrs. Russia pageant to look for his waifu. He picked a woman who he called, My heifer. Ivan was a deeply religious man and promiscuously bisexual. He himself was the abbot of a little monastic order called the Opprichniki, which would storm churches and have torture and buttsex while preaching Christian values.
Ivan the Terrible hit his son with a metal pole, which was fatal. When asked, Ivan said he "vaz chust doeengk eet for zee lulz". His next son was an idiot who got kicked out by his brother-in-law. Then Poland invaded because Russia forgot about them. Ironically, Russia has never forgotten about them since. Thus Russians can often be heard making snide remarks about Poles and partitioning them into tiny pieces with the Germans, who enjoy them in sausages.
The next poor idiot to hit the Russian throne was Michael Romanov, whose descendants held onto it with an iron fist until the Gommunists shot them. The Romanov dynasty was uneventful until Peter the Great, who decided to Europeanize the Asiatic hordes of Russia and forced all the nobles to shave their beards and learn French. He also pwned the Church. Everybody hated him. His grandson was a drunk and let his wife Catherine rule the country. She was called The Great too. This is because Russian historians aren’t very imaginative. They could have called her Catherine the Slut. Anyway, she did all sorts of shit for museums and newspapers and educational stuff. Catherine died at the age of 67 while having sex with a stallion (she was crushed to death by the humongous horse-cock).
Then Napoleon invaded. Russia tends to get invaded a lot. Napoleon was a crazy Frenchman who had at the time conquered most of Europe for the lulz. Alexander 1 did not share his sense of humor. Being a chickenshit he told the army to just keep retreating. This turned out to be a good idea, because by the time Napoleon occupied Moscow somebody had set fire to it. Contrary to popular belief though, Napoleon was defeated during the Russian Summer, not Winter; he invented the winter story so it wouldn't be so humiliating for him. He ran away to take it in the ass at Waterloo.
Rasputin was the single reason for the downfall of the Romanov dynasty. A man who would now represent a pedophiliac Baloo Bear from The Jungle Book, he made the Tsarvich's son Alexi sing "The Bear Necessities" while stroking his erect penis.
The Russian revolution shortly followed, as they were homophobes and not impressed by this PETA like behavior by the heir to the throne. It also turns out Alexi was emo and used to cut himself whilst thinking about all the times his father had ignored him over the years.
Meanwhile, all the peasants were serfs and hating it, so they decided to have a Gommunist Revolution, which was never particularly communist but, to be fair, was a pretty cool revolution. Lenin was the first “communist” leader of Russia. Then he had a heart-attack from eating too many smuggled McDonald's burgers, and everything just went downhill from there. Stalin was a paranoid bitch who had all his enemies shot. Leon Trotsky, his main opposition, died by mysteriously falling brain-first onto an ICE AXE while living in Mexico City. Mexican officials were not at all suspicious. Then he had all his friends shot for good measure. Then, in case he had missed someone, he starved all the Ukrainians to death, which was a good idea because they were going to turn into zombies 60 years before Chernobyl anyway. The
KGB NKVD is the organization that did all the shooting because they were the only Russians who could be trusted not to shoot Stalin. The KGB NKVD ended up shooting itself multiple times, including the organization's leader. After a while they decided propaganda was easier than shooting people.
The Cold War
The Cuckold War began at Yerevan, when Wilson and Churchill became jealous after overhearing Stalin and President of Armenia comparing the size of their wangs. Churchill's and Wilson's wangs being much smaller, because they gave each other blowjobs too much, they felt the need to overcompensate by taking over the Eastern World.
Unfortunately for Stalin, people need to eat in order to work and be content. What Russia was good at was getting into missile pissing matches with the United States and collecting third world nations like Pokemon cards. The super holographic card of the deck was Cuba, which had a rich supply of cigars, sugar and pork sandwiches.
Soviet Russia was very different from the Western World. For example, in California, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the party could always find you. In other ways, they had things in common. For example, the citizens of Soviet Russia were very hateful of Latvians.
The USA was jealous of the Soviet Union having control of Russia. To counter this, NATO installed nuclear missiles in Turkey to show Russia who was the boss. Russia attempted to place a large arsenal of nuclear weapons in Cuba, leading to the Cuban Missile Crisis. The US's naval superiority and JFK's stunning good looks quickly put Russia back in its place, safely ending the crisis. And Americans won't really buy any nuke shelters til present day...
The entrance of Ronald Reagan spelled doom for Soviet Russia. With Reagan's super strength, heat vision, and with Bonzo the Supermonkey at his side, the United States would soon become the victor in the Battle of the Cocks, for America's cock was/is biggest of all (approximately the size of Japan...x2).
Gorbachev tried to prevent the United States from conquering the USSR by implementing perestroika and glasnost. Perestroika was an economic reform which consisted of changing the Russian currency to the US dollar and hiring Donald Trump to clean up the business sector of Russia. Unfortunately for Russia, Donald Trump soon left the project in favor of cultivating Paris Hilton's career and filming reality TV shows.
Glasnost was social reform. Some freedom of press was allowed, resulting in angsty teenage poetry being printed in all major newspapers in the U.S.S.R. Prohibition was also enacted since Gorbachev felt that Russians drank too much vodka, not leaving enough for his personal use. This resulted in the Great Vodka Revolt of 1985 in which 1.2 million people died.
Roll the end credits...
In 1991, the Soviet Union fell after Gorbachev admitted to being quoll furry during a press conference with the Prime Minister of Australia. Disgusted with how godless their country had become, the Russian population revolted against the government and installed a democracy. This quickly led to a flood of Tropicana orange juice, Nike sneakers, and heroin into the country. The Russian Federation was born. In the spirit of the newfound democracy, the Russian people selected a new leader that was truly representative of the people. In that, we mean, he consumed three meals consisting entirely of Stolichnaya every day. This man's name was Boris Yeltsin. Yeltsin oversaw the country's transition from a command economy to a free-market economy, and needless to say, in his drunk hands, the experiment failed miserably. Dazed Russians who all once again found themselves in the bread line wondered what the fuck happened. Yeltsin was one of the most corrupt, unpopular failures in history, and left the country in shambles. Unsurprisingly, he was elected to a second term, nonetheless.
In 2000, Yeltsin handed over power to the new glorious leader and proud pedophile, Vladimir Putin. Putin quickly assured that he would dismiss all of the corruption charges hanging over Yeltsin's head. What a fucking guy.
Russia 2: Electric Boogaloo
In the mid-late nineties it was thought by western powers, that the Russian Federation was well on it's way to become a divided cesspool akin to the Balkans. It was just a matter of time before local overlords and oligarchs start carving up their own neo-feudal fiefdoms from the rotting carcass of Russia/USSR. This grim and lulzy fate was, to the joy of some and despair of others, evaded by ruskies installing a first capable leader since Stalin - Vladimir Putin, and the results were magnificent indeed. Coming from a tried-and-true KGB stock (and thus having vitally important and useful secret service support), Putin went on to bitchslap the oligarchs, the press, the military, the political parties, his pet tiger and everyone else, those who could not be bitchslapped or, God forbid, were hostile towards glorious leader, soon suffered righteous Unfortunate Accidents™, such is life in Russia.
The first test of ¨Resurgent Russia¨ was the Russo-Georgian War. Georgia, the birthplace of Stalin but otherwise an unremarkable shithole, had a bunch of Russians living in the autonomous regions of Abkhazia and South Ossetia who wanted to join their beloved motherland, but the mean old Georgians wouldn't let them. Seeing this great injustice, president Putin ordered a valiant liberation campaign against clearly fascist and cannibalistic Georgans. Within 5 days the Russian troops liberated the two territories.
Fast forward to 2014 and once again the new strength of Russia was made made evident for all to see. In Ukraine, a fascist coup was instigated by the west, probably in order to facilitate easier buttfucking of ukrainians by said powers. Seizing the opportunity, Russia was once again able to help out her children by
annexing legally incorporating the Autonomous Territory of Crimea into the Russian Federation after a fair and lawful referendum held in Crimea on that issue. Unfortunately, the territories of Donetsk and Luhansk were unable to fully escape the clutches of the Kievan fascists, and the conflict there continues til today.
In the recent times, Russia is engaged in valiant fight against ISIS in Syria, bombing the fuck out of the towelhead goatfuckers whilst inducing massive amount of lulz from the EU/USA who constantly bitch about the violation of human rights of moderate syrian islamists. Other fun activities include: messing with the EU by slowly dismantling Ukraine, rigging the us elections and The Last Jedi's rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and causing sane people to leave the Democratic party and building a trade network known as ¨New Silk Road¨ that will make Eurasia the richest continent in the world. Fun times are to be had in the future.
There is a government, but the Russian mafia or "Brotherhood" (in Russian Bratva/"Братва") is much more interesting and influential. The "Brotherhood" also have much, much more money than the Russian government. If you have any business in Russia (although hopefully you don't), it is much quicker to work directly with the "Brotherhood" rather than through government agencies. It's also cheaper.
In Russia, one needs to know people in power to make things work. You must know someone, who knows someone in power; it is the way to have the things done in Russia.
The Ruskies, or Tundra/Commie Niggers, have received a bad reputation due to the cold war. However, Tundra Niggers made extreme advances from a backwards feudal nation to a country more expensive and less sanitary than west nearly overnight and at the cost of only 40 million slave-labourers. During WWII Stalin also managed to mortgage a lot of cannonfodder to the Americans to assrape
Der Furher DEN FÜHRER (Edited by Grammar_Nazi_88 00:34 January 30 2009), and then steal both their technology to pride themselves in its glory.
The Brotherhood has replaced the Italian and Sicilian Mafia as the principle ultra-capitalist element in the United States, so USAns can now have the convenience of working for them directly from home. You know that new skyscraper in your nearest big city? Well, they probably own that.
In 2000, Tovarish Putin decided to honour
the good old commie times the Great Russian Federation by restoring the Soviet Anthem the 1944 Alexandrov tune. As you can see/hear/research in the below linked videos, the lyrics are copypasta incredibly original and of enormous patriotic feeling (Edited by p00t1|/|_ru, 14:21 October 25 2009). Some argue Tovarish Putin is attempting to justly honour past Russian struggles and wondering how to run a single-party democracy to pwn the country in a neo-Stalinist surge STOP WROTE LIES, YOU WESTLY STUPID PERSON Edited by p00t1|/|_ru, 14:27 October 25 2009).
Russia's government consists of:
- President -
Dmitry Medvedev, Vladimir Putin lulz.
- Prime Minister - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Finance - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Foreign Affairs - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Justice - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Defense - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Education - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Economy - Vladimir Putin
- Minister of Transportation - Vladimir Putin
- Eternal Minister of Vodka - Boris Yeltsin
- Minister of Bear
Having your own ideas about how Putin runs the Government is perfectly fine and legal, and in fact when you receive your dose of lead, or perhaps even Polonium, mr Putin himself will express his regrets and condolences on public television.
Looks like somebody got Jungle Fever.
Chronicle of the Russian army
During WW2 Germany attacked Russia intending to to conquer it but got pwned by secret Russian war technique. The entire population of Russia has charged at the enemy with no weapons or equipment, the bodies of the fallen eventually stack up so high that a tower of corpses topples onto the enemy, crushing them all. After Russia regained all the territory it lost in the beginning of the war, it rained down on every other country past it's border like a giant wall of drunken rape, raping everything from: children, men, old women, old men, animals, dead bodies, retards, and the occasional woman, that would make even the sickest pervert today blush. Russia essentially is a very poor country but so are many of its neighbors which explains Russia's prolonged existence and why it isn't a nuclear crater today. Unable to produce sufficient funds to start a war leaves Russia and its neighbors at a stalemate, the only reason russia is considered a superpower and not a 3rd world shit hole is because of its huge population where it can get scientists for cheap by paying them with loaves of bread and its massive taxation all of the money which goes directly into its military and research. Russia barely hanging on to make it to super power status in reality most of their arsenal is aging and faulty.
The Russian economy is principally organized by the Brotherhood. This is very comforting to government and business leaders in Western democracies because it's a familiar system.
If you have problems with your business partners, your "brotherhood" will meet with the other guy's "brotherhood", and they will try to settle your problems through discussion. If they can't get right, they may apply to a "thief in the law" who will take a decision. There also is an official way of settling the problems through a court, but it is less effective. Many businesses prefer to employ commercial departments of police or private security companies, which in reality are just a camouflaged brotherhood aka "bratva".
The accepted currency in Russia currently are the following:
American dollars, German cars, vodka, and attractive women. The currency is subject to change. With the huge revenue out the Export of Oil and Gas, Russia can import machines, electrical appialiances and other quality comsumer goods like forgein women (mostly from their Brother Republics like Ukraine but also from China).
Russia's only technological breakthrough and main export is the Avtomat Kalashnikova, an aussalt rifle capable of killing Africans even when covered in mud. Other leading exports are cp, pirated mp3s from allofmp3.com, PC Trojans, vodka, balalaika and internet brides.
Mayonnaise is one of their largest exports as seen here in this video. The commentary alone produces much lulz.
The Glory of Putin (more like the glory of poontang, amirite?) is the official religion of Mother Russia. It's worth noting also that many are of Russian Orthodox faith. Just like in Catholicism, the priests wear funny hats, but in this instance, they are even much more funny looking. Also just like Catholicism, the nuns in this religion are all total cunts. Amirite? Though steamy hot pleasure sex with these nun-cunts are is quite hard to come by, one can solve this issue by tying them to the bed and slapping the shit out of their tits until they agree to give you the best blow job a man could possibly desire. Haha, and you didn't think such atrocities were common in mother Russia?? You silly American faggots!
—Koshevoi Ivan Sirko of the Zaporozhian assembly
—Vasilii Kliuchevsky on the origin of the “Great Russian stock” and state
The people of Russia are collectively referred to as tundra nigras, and have no real connection to ice niggers, who are full of anti-lulz. For the most part they are all robotic alcoholics, but you would be too if you lived in that shithole, amirite?
Russians speak Russian (Русский язык), which is written in Cyrillic. Their ability to write a simple alphabet that differs from the Roman alphabet gives them a major superiority complex. Never mind the fact that Chinese, Japanese, and Korean are much more complicated writing systems. Their ignorance of their neighbors to the East may be the cause for this fierce sense of superiority. Most aren't willing to admit their oriental ancestry even after centuries of sino-mongol rape
Russian general knowledge and 'education' is virtually nonexistent, and the majority of the populations inability to either read or write has remained essentially unchanged since the middle ages....which is understandable given that a full 80% of them spend their miserable, insignificant lives on small desolate farms surrounded by rats, lice, grain alcohol, infant skulls, and pig shit before the government every so often decides to arbitrarily 'off' them in vast numbers simply because...well...they're RUSSIAN...so why the FUCK NOT?!? The availability of food is unimportant to the Russian (which is good because they are always starving), as he can simply brew vodka in his bathtub which otherwise, judging by a typical Russian's appearance, is never used for its intended purpose anyways.
Some favorite pastimes of Russians are drinking vodka, pedophilia, selling organs, buying 1980's Jordache yankee blue jeans and Adidas tracksuits on the black market, shooting people, not bathing, standing in bread lines, and killing Chechens for their delicious oils. When America does something it is usually evil; when Russia does the same thing it is glorious!
Due to their god awful history and present situation, the Russian people are a hearty bunch. It is not uncommon to see roving street gangs in Moscow beating up innocent people. Do not fear though, as this is the police. The police also commonly use scare tactics such as sarin gas and other hilarious forms of lethal force. Often times little children and fat old babushkas are also tragically suffocated by this hilarious nerve agent. But as the signs say in Russia, "when shit's goin' down, get out the muthafuckin' way NIGGUH!!"
It may seem a surprise, but Tundra niggers have their own niggers. These are the brother nations from Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Azerbajan, Armenia who leave their countries because they love to work for Russian people just for "thank you's". "Thank you" is worth 1 wooden ruble and four internets. Today so many people have moved from those countries that now they actually don't exist at all.
Typical place for Russian party is common area in high-rise project housing.
Russian men express love with their fists, and most Russian children are the product of rape and inbreeding. Orphans are also readily available from Russia, as baby factories are set up in Siberia to fuel their child prostitution and pornography industries.When you go to Russia, and you are not Russian, be sure not to smile if you are alone, this is a sign that you wish to have kbs. Though many children are beaten from such a young age in Russia, it's ok, because most of these children actually find this quite enjoyable. Many psychologists deem this to be the cause of such interest in sadomasochism as they age into adults in present-day Russia.
While it is unusual for heterosexuality to flourish in modern Russia, the occasional straight male tourist will likely be disappointed by the leg hair, mustaches, and overall stench of the women in this bizarre nation. Nowadays, one can pursue a love of the Russian people via the internet, which is just beginning to catch on and proving to be a valuable medium for the dissemination of those resilient Russian genes.
Russia is home to KGB, the most notorious spy organization ever. Russian spies are known to be horrendously ugly.
Russians as immigrants
— a Russian immigrant to America
Russians cultivate Multidrug-Ressistant Tuberculosis, mainly within prisons. Other Microbiological Cultures include B. Athracis and Ebolapox.
— In Russia, Disco party find YOU!
Work of security in Russian night club.
Russian Pastimes include, and are not limited to:
Russian Roulette was invented by Stalin in an attempt to make tourists feel at home. Typically, it's like musical chairs, except with bullets. Of course it failed because no one did this at home and the Russians soon forgot about it. However Asians soon decided this is exactly the kind of thing that they want to be associated with. And began using it to try and lower their horribly large populations. Russia declined to comment. For extreme fun, make sure there are as many bullets as there are people!
Weed is moar fun than a bullet to the brain.
During the Cold War, after their discovery of anabolic steroids, the Russians whupped American asses at almost all sports, until Arnie "I'll be Bach" Schwarzenegger stole the formula and in in return was made Governor of Carly-fornya. However, excessive use of these drugs made Russian men infertile, and gave the women pubes that reached almost to the floor, making the high-jump particularly hazardous, and leading to a low birth rate. Nowadays, because Russians prefer unsung feats of brutality like Head Stomping and
Hammer Killing (that's Ukraine you dumb fuck), they usually only do well at hockey and at sports with bribe-able judges. They aren't so good at baseball, football, basketball (except in European league). Even in hockey, they aren't as good as Canada anymore, despite PWNING Canadian rookies three years in a row in some meaningless tourney that no one in a world gives a flying shit about, they got seriously ass-fucked by Canadians in the 2010 Olympics hockey game, having become to hockey what Japan is to baseball. Still, they suddenly fucked all the black person's asses in boxing, crazy barbarian bastards. They also pwn everyone in chess, but no one gives a fuck because chess isn't really a sport.
Russian National Anthem
- Russia, Russia
- Where women look like men
- Russia, Russia
- Eyebrows FTW
- Russia, Russia
- Soul crushing and cold
- Russia, Russia
- We do it if we're told
- Russia, Russia
Trolling the Russians
- Start with the obvious. Tell them Russians are nothing but a Slavicized mongrol mix of Vikings, Turks, Persians, Khazars and Mongols.
- Tell them the truth. Russia has always been behind the conventions "of the rest" of Europe.
- Tell them the Cyrillic alphabet was the result of strabismus (permanently crossed eyes) suffered by its creator when he tried to reproduce the Latin alphabet.
- Tell them Tchaikovsky was a hack who stole "The Nutcracker" from a German composer.
- Inform them that Russians were too drunk and stupid to come up with their own political system, so they had to steal it from a German.
- Tell them their accent reminds you of Dr. Nick from The Simpsons.
- Refer to Lenin as a "homo".
- Dongcopter. Maybe 10% of them don't mind.
- Remind them of how their government purchased hundreds of Texas Instruments 'Speak n' Spells' back in the 80's in order to better 'understand' western technology.
- Call them vodka niggers or borscht niggers.
- Point out over half of the world's CP comes from Russians.
- Implying Russia is ever in the wrong, even in extremely morally questionable situations like Chechnya.
- Pointing out that they perfectly fit your stereotype of Russians.
- Tell them communism is fine as long as they keep it in Russia.
- Stalin rolling them, they'll get very pissed at this because they don't like getting hard boners seeing Stalin dance.
- Pointing out your attacks on their country are based on the BEEB, whereas they usually respond with tired stereotypes of Americans they pull out of old Soviet propaganda, even if you're French or some shit. They will attack the source of your information as American propaganda, saying true learnings only come from glorious Mother Russia. They ignore that they speak in broken English (thus betraying the inferiority of their learnings) and that their position obviously reflects the influence of contemporary Russian propaganda. They also ignore that even though most of the world hate each other, they agree Russia is a pretty fucked up place. Watch them just continue calling everything that makes them look bad "AMERICAN PROPAGANDA!!1! LOL U WENT TO JEW COLLEGE MY FATHER DIE IN CHECHNYA THEREFORE HE DID RIGHT THING AND YOU "DUMB" AMERICAN.
- Call them invaders for invading independent Ukraine. When they inevitably parrot the Kremlin propaganda of "we were invite" tell them Poland and Ukraine are inviting the US to set up anti-missile shields in their countries because they were invited.
- ...but I'm from Canada/France/Iran.
- Nikola Tesla was Serbian but most Russians boast about him.
- Speak to them as though they were a Klan member since every русский is horrendously xenophobic, anyway.
- Many Russians are avoiding to serve in the army, there are many reasons but the main is "old-timers" ("granfathers" - "деды"), who violates the newbies and just the oafs or "weakness" guys whom can't stand their position as a "man" which mean that every second has a 9000% chance to be violated.
- You'll get over 9000 lulz if you call every Russian a schoolchild or schoolboy or shkolota or школота. I Guarantee It.
- Mention how a multicultural societies are highly successful and a pure white society leads to poverty. Use America, Canada, and France as an example and then point out white ghetto slums in Russia.
- Hacking into an electronic billboard and upload porn, causing a huge traffic jam in Moscow.
- Mention their atheist history and their communist atrocities.
- Mention the Soviet invasion of Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, and Finland
- Mention the Russo-Persian war.
- Mention the Sino-Soviet Border conflict. Russia almost nuked China for the lulz.
- Mention any wars that they have lost because Russia "wins" every war like the wars with Mongolia the Russians were literally raped and became slaves to their mongol overlords, Russian losses to the Turks, Russia's inability to conquer Poland permanently, Russia's significant losses of land in WWI, Russia's failed invasion of Afghanistan etc. etc. etc.
- Mention the large numbers of chinks are flooding Russia's far east.
- Say to them that they are Mongoloid and not Caucasoid.
- Minimize their role in the outcome of WWII. Point out America's significant Lend-Lease contributions to Russia that contributed to their war effort because of course Russians were too drunk to ramp up war time production.
- Talk about their "amazing" system of roads, or their "awesome" football team
- Grief them in competitive mode on Counter-Strike:Global Offensive
Trolling the Russians, by use of Georgia
Mentioning Georgia is an epic way to troll Russians. Upon showing even one ounce of support for Georgia, you will be immediately flamed by every Russian on the internet and their mother, and cause a huge amount of butthurt and drama. A good place to start is ED's own South Ossetia article's talk page. Showing any sympathy for Georgia and it's plight will get any Russian infuriated, and having them doing their best Khrushchev impression, banging their shoe on their desk and crying out that they will bury you once through with Georgia.
Also, telling Russians that Josef Stalin was Georgian will also cause huge amounts of BAWWWWWing. They will be insulted and damn you to the pits of hell.
Supporting Mikhail Saakashvili will also create huge amounts of drama on Russian forums. Be sure to let them know you think he's a prophet and perhaps one of the best politicians to have ever existed. You will send them into such a rage that they'll probably end up destroying their keyboards in an attempt to respond to you. If they try to say that he's a war criminal, accuse them of being hypocrites, and say that Vladimir Putin is. The amount of drama caused by this tactic is amazing and almost unparalleled; and will be sure to give you lulz for a long time to come.
Anon in Russia
- Attention whores
- Anarchist Using anonymity as mean to spread their stupid views nobody cares about.
- 13-year-old boys or "Малолетний долбоёб" (littleaged peckfuck) , or "школота" (Schoolboys)... (mostly schoolboys, I guarantee it)
So as result, being founded on the cancer that is killing /b/, Anon lived amazing 3 years.
Only good thing about whole community is their æ which is caller Lukomorie (Russsian fairy land) which name drives from Lurk moar. Unlike 2ch it's edited by real Anons and contains important knowledge on such an important topics like cam whoring, attention whoring and different Russian ways of trolling (some of which are pretty Lulzworthy)
- Only the most truthful information about Russia.
- This is how Russians spend their spare time.
- Unbiased blog dedicated to Russia.
- Russian news
- We Ams the Russians PROUD TO BE RUSSIA.
- Noble and freedom loving highlander opinion about Russia's affairs.
- Massively multiplayer offline Russian game.
- Mail Order Brides
- Documentary about Russians.
- Lulziest Russian pics and stories
- Russian cats
- This is what Russians actually look like.
- Some info there.
- Aleksandr Pistoletov
- Bad Vlad
- Dmitry Vinogradov
- Natalia Poklonskaya
Things That Piss Russia Off
- Сибирской говор
- In Soviet Russia...
- The Baltic States
- Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17
- Rainbow Stalin
- Soviet Netherland
- South Ossetia
Things Russia Likes
- Fishing Cat
- Leave Bond to me
- Russian Wikipedia
- Russia Today
|Featured article July 2 & July 3, 2013|
| Preceded by
|Russia|| Succeeded by|
4th of July
|Featured article December 6 & December 7, 2017|
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