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- See also: The LURKMORE wiki
Russian Lurkmore is a Russian parallel to ED. The squatted domain encyclopediadramatica.ru in .RU zone is an epic prooflink to this statement. Russian Lurkmore was created because no Russian wants to speak MOTHERFUCKING ENGLISH, but wants to read lulzy articles anyways.
Russian Lurkmore was initially planned to be a rip-off of the unfunny lurkmore wiki in Russian language. It came to existence when The Creators of Lurkmore's Internets got tired of Russian wikipedos deleting any mentions of imageboards and other asylums of basement dwellers, retards and other miscellaneous inhabitants of mankind's cespool from Wikipedia.
But there are only so much memes, and so lurkmore.ru changed from "encyclopedia of memes" to encyclopedia of memes, internets, and all other kinds of shit. Does that description remind you of something else? The reason for their existance is doing the same shit as you guys, but in Russian.
Comparison to Dramatica
So, ruskies got themselves their own ED, with blackjack and hookers. Now, let's take a look at those boobs... Erm, I mean, specifics of the site.
The catchphrase of lurkmore.to is "facts > lulz". What the fuck? This rule is the cause behind 90% of shitty articles in this wiki, after all. The reason for that is bloody KGB, which monitors all Russians Internets. They can stop you from posting online by sending you to cold Syberia if you're doing it without prooflinks. Therefore, lurkmore.to can't be a part of internet hate machine so openly.
95% of articles in lurkmore.ru are deleted by Bloodthirsty Adminstrators in first ten minutes of existence. The only topics they don't touch are computer games and anime. Actually, all of the local content is being checked for SFW and lulzworthy. You won't find any unfunny, ridiculous and pointless shit there as long as moderators aint drinking vodka with bears (even if they do).
You can also be easily pwned if you dare to even just be there in moderator's presence (mostly if moder is a jew). Most typical reasons for geting a ban are:
- For the lulz
- If they will decide you're useless member. Yes, they're really digging in your contributions.
- You're using <ref> or <s> in your edits
- You're acting as asshole
- You're doing it wrong
- You're 13-year-old boy
- You're cancer that is killing /b/
On the other hand, you can still explain evil moderator why he is a dick, especially if he's jewish, and it'll be AWWWRIGHT. I guarantee it!
People of Russian lurkmore
Now let's see who we've got there:
- Brainless and useless office lemmings. They log in from their offices (though they should have been fired and shot) and browse Lurkmore mostly for "бугагашечки" - bugagashetschkee, a corruption of Lulz. Corruption for real now.
- Schoolboys. Nobody likes them. Being a 13-year-old boy is a 100% guarantee of fast and ruthless pwn on lurkmore. If you're a schoolboy - just get out from our Internets. And that means NOW. Internet gets stupid because of you.
- Jew wannabees. You're not misheared. Not a Jew wannabees, but kike wannabees. It's fashionable and cool to be a kike, especially if you're a moderator.
- Lurk-tards (луркоёбы). This is a sort of cancer that is killing internets. Most editors of lurkmore.ru are lurktards. These people assume lurkmore.ru as their Holy Bible. They don't have opinions of their own, so they just grab it from the lurkmore's articles. They even think in templates made of LURK-SLANG and COPY-PASTE. Don't forget: In Soviet Russia articles write you.
Writing articles for Lurkmore.to is a lulzy form of masochism. Once you click "Save page", you should be ready for unforeseen consequences, as in:
- Your article will be deleted in first 4 hours - that's if you're lucky, more liek first 10 minutes. Just enough to drink a few shots of Vodka for courage.
- You will be banned, and moderator will surely try and find the most offensive ban reason personally for you.
- You'll get tons of shit dumped on your head in discussion page by your grateful readers.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
The Lurk-English dictionary
Lurk-speak is a Russian social phenomena. You must learn the dictionary below if you want to talk with Russians; if you want Russians to understand you:
- 95% - Goes from Russian proverb "95% of country population are idiots, and each of them thinks he belongs to the rest". If you heard this term concerning you we have bad news for you.
- Over 9000 - The same cancer that is killing ED. It is international.
- X детектед (X detected) - Goes from "Flood detected". The indication from a detector. The most popular: butthurt detected, быдло detected.
- X же (X je) - Means "the hell X", in fact, it's "X desu~". Fansub is so fansub.
- X как бы говорит нам (X kak bi govorit nam) - As if X says to us.
- X смотрит на тебя как на говно (X smotrit na tebja kak na govno) - X looks to you as to the shit; X supposes you're a shit. In any case you still being a shit.
- X такой X (X takoj X) - X is so X. Examples: longcat is so looooooooooooooong; Free last.fm is free
- X-ёб or X-дрочер (X-job, X-drocher) - both are variants of X-fag. But "ёб" is more brutal than "дрочер".
- X-ота (X-ota) - The crap being generated by X, see Xynta
- Алсо - Also.
- Анальный (Analnij) Anal or ass-. The originated from ass-clown or ass-nigger. The used variations are: anal retribution, anal moderation, anal occupation, anal enclosure, anal slavery.
- Батхёрт - Butthurt
- Быдло (bydlo) - Bydlo is a Russian version of rednecks. Russian bydlo wears caps with with ear-flaps, plays balalaika, drives tanks, and drinks vodka with bears in Siberia. Bydlo undoubtedly belongs to 95%. Be careful: bydlo is very dangerous. These people can even commit communism.
- Быдло-X (bydlo-X) - Means "X that looks middling".
- Винрар - Winrar
- ВНЕЗАПНО (Vnezapno) - SUDDENLY. Must be written in capslock. Originated from 4chan: "Suddenly catgirls, thousands of them"
- Взаимоисключающие параграфы (Vzaimoiskluchajuschie paragrafy) - Mutually exclusive paragraphs. Used in trolling to make the opponent shit bricks due to contradictions.
- Всем похуй (Vsem pohuj) - nobody cares.
- Высер - (Vysser) - Shitty post. The most of content you posting online.
- Говно-X (govno-X) - Means "X that looks quite shitty".
- ГСМ - Humanitarian constitution of the brain. All phylosophers, journalists, writers have ГСМ.
- Доставляет (Dostavlajet) - Delivers. Originated from "Anonymous Delivers!" Means that somebody delivers pleasure, fun and lulz.
- Двачую (Dvachuyu) - "Second that". Can be used as "X-chuyu", with X being replaced by the name/1 half of the name of the place where the phrase is used, for example, "Dramaticachuyu", "Journalchuyu"
- ЕРЖ - Jewish racial kike. All Jews are racial kikes. And nobody likes them.
- Запилить/выпилить (Zapilit and Vypilit). Like saw in and saw out. "Запилить" means "create something", and "выпилить" means "destroy".
- Копипаста - Copypasta
- Кошерный (כָּשֵׁר) - Kosher. Initially meant the food appropriate for God-selected people. In Soviet Russia means any good and appropriate thing.
- Лолшто (lolshto), or ЩИТО (schito) (Jewish version) - Lolwhat
- Лулзы - Lulz
- Люто, бешено (Luto, besheno) - Insanely. Sense is "very, very ..." One of usages: "люто, бешено ненавижу" - "I hate it insanely"
- Не нужен (Ne nuzhen) - DO NOT WANT
- Невозбранно (Nevozbranno) - Unrestricted, free. This word resembles Old Russian or Church Slavonic language and that's why it доставляет.
- Неиллюзорно (Neilluzorno) - Without illusions. Sense is "quite real".
- ПГМ (Православие головного мозга, Cerebral orthodoxy) - extremely insane religious belief. Does not necessarily mean Russian Orthodox Church or even Christianity. This is one of many terms that stem from 'ФГМ' (see below).
- Петросян (Petrosyan), Петросянство (Petrosyanstvo), petrosyanism - E.Petrosyan is an unfunny comic from Armenia. His jokes can only make laugh the 95-year old woman. Petrosyanism is a fail attempt to deliver lulz.
- Православный (Pravoslavnij) - Orthodox. Comes from Orthodox Church. In lurkmore this word is used to point that something is congenial to some community.
- Расовый (Rassovij) - Racial. Points to the nationality. For example: Jewish racial kikes, American racial niggers, Aryan racial Hitler. Especially effective in racist holywars.
- Специальная олимпиада (Specialnaya olimpiada) - Special Olympics. Any debate OTI. Comes from proverb "arguing in the internets is like running in the special olympics: even if you win you're still retarded".
- Сосни хуйца (Sosni huitsa) - Suck a cock. No, not a cock, more blandly: cocky.
- Срач (Srach) - Argue.
- Сферический X в вакууме (Sfericheskij X v vakuume) - Spherical X in vacuum. Originates from the physicists' joke about a spherical horse in vacuum. Points to ideal model of X which is not reachable in practice.
- Тупая пизда (Tupaja pizda) - Stupid cunt. A really stupid or arrogant woman.
- Унылый (unylyj) - Unfunny. УГ (UG) - Unfunny shit
- ФГМ (FGM) - Phimosis of the human brain. Phimosis is a Jewish national genital dicease. Only uncircumcised Jews are liable to phimosis. ФГМ is a next stage of phimosis well described in Bible (Moses, Abraham). If somebody says you have an ФГМ he means you're schizophrenic.
- Фейл - Fail
- Флюродрос (Flurrodross) - The captation. This is what you do against your boss.
- Хуита (Huita) - Xynta.
- ЧСВ - An unwarranted self-importance. The term was brought by Dale Carnegie.
- Чуть менее чем <measure> (Chut menee chem <measure>) - A bit less than ... The most commonly used as "A bit less than full". Чуть более чем <measure> (Chut bolee chem <measure>) - A bit more than ... Example: "A bit less than a half"
- Школьник (Shkolnick) - Schoolboy. This is the form of offency, be careful to use IRL. Russians hate their children.
- Экстерминатус (Exterminatus) - Extermination (in style of Latin)
- Эпический (Epicheskij) - Epic
- Я гарантирую это (Ja garrantirryju eto) - I Guarantee It
Petrosyan delivers lulz to your mom.