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San Diego

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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San Diego in al its voluptuous glory.
A road sign in San Diego, California warns of Mexicans crossing

San Diego is a city in Mexifornia that's full of beaners, white honky fucks with dogs and other wacky shit that makes San Diego a freak show. San Diego is best known for the Mexicans occupying every 6 square feet of the land, Virgin Con, homosexuals, and being on fire.

Location

It is located in the US state of California just north of the Taco Bell-McDonald's border and across the street from Arbys.

History Behind the Name

Found by the Native Americans at least 100 years ago, they named the city Kumeyaay, which means the land of no rain, wild fires, and lesbians. Later, but still over 100 years ago, the Mexicans would make the trip to Kumeyaay to trade with the Indians. They would load up their goat with bags of tequila and by the time they got there, the Mexicans and their goat was all covered with dirt and sand. Lois and Clark got to this place during one of these trading parties and they ordered everyone to shut up. Then they told the Indians to open up gambling/strip joints (now called casinos), and they told the Mexicans to get the fuck out, you and your "Sandy Goat." If you believe that the Germans founded San Diego and named it "A Whale's Vagina", you are dumb piece of shit.

Politics

The city is politically located deep inside the Governator's anus, and it is where filthy beaners and OMG DEBT DEBT DEBT really shine. Mexicans come here because they still think that this slice of California is still part of their shitty country because they haven't worked out the concept of annexation from at least 100 years ago. We're a big happy family.

People

Women come in two flavors: a plastic blonde Barbie with wrinkles or a 3 foot tall Mexican burrito-ball pumping out 3 kids a week.

Men are either stoners or a pack of border jumpers that gathers together near the Home Depot to mow your lawn for some tacos.

Economy

San Diego über alles!
The Tourism, Metal Lathering, and Pornography Industrial Complex is responsible for employing over 40% of San Diego's residents. The rest either work illegally, are employed by the military, or both.

Apparently every aspect in the city necessary to human survival is HURR BROKE NO MONAIS, and the San Diegan media only feature drama laden complaining about the state's budget and news reports of other people complaining about the state's budget. As a result, everyone is in a collective shitfit to figure out where all of that money is going.

San Diego is the world's largest importer of silicone breast implants. It is also a successful platform for making the Mexican populace millionaires through welfare.

Education

SDSU girls spreading their diseases
San Diego State University (USD, SDSU, STFU, UCSD, ROFL) is basically a day care center for wannabe Los Angeles' criminals and other assorted societal scum. There is actually a 65% infection rate of herpes among the SDSU school populace, not including other STDs commonly found in the virus incubators known as 'women' here. USD educates future housewives and middle managers.

Palomar Community College is where Mexicans and failures go so they can say they went to college and not have to feel like a high school dropout. The professors are about as efficient in their teaching as a 12 year old autistic with a speech-impediment and wooden limbs, while the students are worthless unmotivated potheads either protesting deep statements with a dysotopian novel in their hand or masturbating to Obama with their own poorly-contrived political beliefs. Everyone there fiddles around with their parents' expensive Macbook to play WoW or pretends to study. IT'S LIKE I'M ACTUALLY IN A REAL COLLEGE!


Places to Go

  • Chula Vista: Home of the Croy
  • Clairemont: The lower-middle class white suburbs on Mission Bay. Home to the biggest douchebags in San Diego County and some shitty theme park that's full of dildo-shaped plastic blocks.
  • Downtown: Where all the tall buildings, Petco Park, and Horton Plaza is. Niggas and scene kids go to horton to shoplift from the Nordstrom. And where nerds from all over the world come every summer to go to Comic Con at the Convention Center.
  • El Cajon: (Not to be confused with El Cajon Blvd, where all the prostitutes are) Just a few liquor stores away from being a full-on ghetto A full-on motherflipping ghetto. Everyone here is either stoned or drunk and they all h8 each other. It doesn't help that the temperature's always at least 100 degrees due to it's being located at the bottom of a 9001-mile deep valley; some theologians have speculated that it is in fact the physical location of hell. The origin of the name "El Cajon," Mexican for "the box," is unclear.
  • Escondildo: Actually has a larger population than Denver, but the US Census bureau states "133,000" - the other 700,000 undocumented aliens are not included in the official tally.
  • Failbrook: Faggotry drug-filled beaner town trying to at like a farming village, filled with scene kids and poser gangsters. Has good weed though.
  • La Mesa: Formerly an isolated community of old, rich, and/or white people sandwiched between the city dwellers to the West and the hellish hick ghetto of East County, it is slowly being overrun by niggers and mexicans as they are pushed out of City Heights by the new development there. This is the final phase of a decades-old San Diego trend: Area A is a ghetto so the Mayor of San Diego pumps money into it to class it up, but the ghetto-ass niggaz still work at KFC so they move a mile East to Area B where rent is still cheap, and thus the island of poverty steadily moves inland until it blurs into El Cajon. It happened to Hillcrest, it happened to North Park, it happened to City Heights, and it's happening to Lame-Asa. Fun fact: Mayor Art Madrid likes to party.
  • Hillcrest: San Fransisco's retarded incestuous shemale brother. They keep the place pretty clean, that is however in exchange for buttsex tax.
  • La Jolla: Downtown LJ is home to Jews; Blacks is home to billionaires and real drug dealers; UTC is home to Mormons, and UCSD, home to San Diego's asian population.
  • Mission Beach: A 2 mile piece of sand littered with condos, tourists, bums, a shitty roller coaster and The Wave House, which is a place where some genius decided to build a man-made surfing wave (neglecting to consider the pacific ocean was only 30 meters away).
  • North Park: Capital of the Hipsters - the streets are full of metrosexual hipster faggots riding fixed gear bicycles and having anal sex with each other while drinking some obscure microbrew you've never heard of.
  • Ocean Beach: Hippies, weed, hemp clothing, little kids with fucked up names like Celestial Rainbow, homeless people, homeless dogs, and cash only pubs. It's basically Venice Beach with a vagina.
  • Pacific Beach: Full of frat fags and sorority sluts that can't afford to live Downtown. Also, party buses, cocaine, STDs, bums, and bars. Once upon a time you could drink on the beach, and it would throw one helluva 4th of July, but there was too much titties and lulz so the cops took it away.
  • Point Loma(PL): The armpit of San Diego. Being 1 mile west of the airport, there is a constant ear-bleading drone of jets 24/7. Poseur hipsters fill the streets of this overrated shitsville, so count on being berated with the scent of clove cigarettes and cheap booze when in the Pee-L.
  • San Marcos: This is where a lot of our tax dollars go to support lazy wetback 10+ families. Every Mexican stereotype you could think of is displayed here. The whole place smells of Carl's Jr. and pot.
  • Vista: There is nothing there. Nothing. A movie theater... A shitty waterpark... Oh, and beaners. Not to mention "Vista" is Spanish for view. There's no view. And not to mention a shitty operating system as named after this city. Fail.

Facts about Saint Diego

  • San Diego was named "Best Place to Catch Chlamydia" by The Weekly Reader in 2004.
  • San Diego has the highest per-capita number of nudists in all of California.
  • 80% of the residents of San Diego moved there after 1990, because San Diego was just a sand dune in 1989 or earlier.
  • Homosexuality is the official city religion.
  • Sony Online Entertainment (the fags that made EverQuest and EverQuest II) is located there. They were awarded their own city holiday, because they recouped some of the debt that Arnold pounded on the city.


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