Marina Ann Hantzis (alias Sasha Grey) is a porn star who sucks dicks and drinks urine for money. What separates Ms. Hantzis from the oodles of ugly whores on the internet is the fact that she parades herself around as an intellectual, and every time she's in an interview she paints herself as a strong and empowered feminist heroine. Did we mention she also licks toilet seats for money? Truly, she is a role model for young women everywhere.
The World's Smartest Porn Star
Some argue that Marina Ann Hantzis is the smartest porn star alive. Vanessa Grigoriadis' Rolling Stone article "The Dirtiest Girl in the World," says that Ms. Hantzis "reads Nietzsche, likes it rough" and is "liberating women one gangbang at a time." She may not be able to close her mouth or open her eyes all the way, giving her face a permanent expression of mental retardation, but one only has to listen to her words of wisdom to realize the unbridled intelligence that lurks within her semen-stained mind.
For entertainment, she watches the films of Fassbinder, Herzog, Truffaut, Godard, Bertolucci, Mallick amongst other even more obscure artists. What are Ms. Hantzis' thoughts on these directors? In her opinion, what is the most striking thing about Bertolucci's cinematography? What common themes can be found within Herzog's films? Nobody knows, because Ms. Hantzis has never said anything about those films. Demonstrating that she subscribes to Desiderius Erasmus' "Philosophy of Name Dropping," all Ms. Hantzis does is say she's intelligent because she's read [Insert Smart Book Title/Philosopher Here] and watched [Insert Critically Acclaimed Movie/Director Here], but never actually demonstrates that she has an elementary understanding of the things she's read or watched. This proves that she is one of those hipsters who thinks that naming a bunch of obscure authors and artists give her credibility. We all know the type. Rather than discuss philosophies and avant-garde art Ms. Hantzis does like to talk about applying makeup, how to make your semen taste better, why racism is bad, and how to use an enema. What little she does say on the internet is often misspelled. Watch out, Sweden! Someone's coming after your Nobel Prizes!
When not being buttfucked to the max for Jew Gold, Ms. Hantzis spends her time being vain and moderating the Sasha Grey Wikipedia article with her two Wikipedia accounts Madjabuds and SashaGrey3. The drama started in May 2007, when Ms. Hantzis decided that she didn't like the portrait of herself the article was using. After hours of unsuccessfully trying to upload her new portrait, she removed the unflattering image and replaced it with one which was more to her liking. Much to Ms. Hantzis' chagrin, the Wiki-nerds kept reverting her edits to the Sasha Grey article and re-uploading the photos of her which made her look ugly. She then did the only reasonable thing and threatened to sick her lawyers on Wikipedia. Wikipedia users were sick of Ms. Hantzis' shit and told her that if she kept threatening to sue Wikipedia users they would block her from editing.
Ms. Hantzis has made a shit ton of edits on Wikipedia, exclusively targeting her own Wikipedia biography, which demonstrates that she is incapable of discussing anything not related to herself. Multiple times she tried to hide the fact that she was born in Gary, Indiana, and switched her birth place to Sacramento, California. She also caused a stir by admitting that her real name is Marina Ann Hantzis, but then threatened to sue people if her true identity wasn't removed from the article.
To demonstrate her intellectual prowess, Ms. Hantzis decided to write a book titled "Neü Sex" which would chronicle her adventures from porn set to porn set, giving readers a behind a view look of what her life was really like. However, Ms. Hantzis quickly remembered that she was incapable of spelling or using proper punctuation, and she was haunted with doubts that if she actually wrote something it would only display her intellectual incompetence and reveal her as being a brain-dead buffoon with nothing interesting or cerebraly stimulating to say. So rather than write a book, she purchased a SLR camera and made a picture book. Ms. Hantzis then realized that she wasn't a competent photographer either, and she let her boyfriend Ian take the photos for her. She openly admitted this in the product description for her book on amazon.com, saying:
—Marina Ann Hantzis, on her inability to press a button on a camera.
The book itself contains nothing but portraits of Marina Ann Hantzis. It is therefor less of a practice in photojournalism and more so a collection of self-indulgent myspace photos. It is also painfully obvious which photos were taken by Ms. Hantzis and which were taken by Ian. Ian's photos often show a basic understanding of the elementary rules of composition such as "the rule of thirds," "depth of field," "framing," and "angles." In the photos Ms. Hantzis took she is clearly holding the camera and pointing it at herself, meaning that this book would have been impossible to make if not for auto-focus. Her attempt to disguise her inability to write a book about herself has only further damned her by demonstrating that she cannot even make a photography book about herself.
After the book's release a shitstorm was born on amazon.com. After receiving a scathing one star review fans of Marina Ann Hantzis' films flocked to the page and stuffed the ballot box with five star reviews so ridiculously positive its hard to tell if they're really fans or just sockpuppet accounts.
—David C., his one and only amazon review.
Fast Food, Faster Lovin' (The Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum)
On December 2012 Marina Ann Hantzis got tired of being an awful DJ and decided to try her hand at being an awful writer, so she moseyed on down to Amazon.com and gave David Foster Wallace a run for his money by self publishing a short story, Fast Food, Faster Lovin currently her most existential and enigmatic work yet. In it Marina explores the terrifying nihilist void of the modern workplace and the inescapable longing for authenticity through literary motifs of nipple pinching, clitoris rubbing, and dirty talk.
Here is an excerpt from Amazon:
Ms. Hantzis Visits Your Children in School
In November 2011, Principal Beth Gregor of Emerson Elemtary School invited Marina Ann Hantzis to visit the school and read “Dog Breath” by Dav Pilkey to a class of first graders. Either Principal Gregor was unaware of Marina Ann Hantzis' very extensive and very filthy background in pornography or the principal was a big fan of her work. Once the tabloids had photos of Hantzis' visiting the elementary school and word got out that prostitutes were visiting their children in school, angry parents contacted the PTA, who then contacted Principal Gregor. Since the incident, the school went into damage control mode and denied Hantzis or her gonorrhea ever visited their children. Hantzis saw this as an opportunity to whore herself out to tabloids as a victim and a patron saint for education and quadruple penetration.
Some argue that Principal Gregor just got butthurt because Sasha didn't suck his old flaccid penis.
Sasha Grey is part of a series on
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Sasha Grey is part of a series on
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