Sayfullo Saipov

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Budd Dwyer.gif
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Short men have short penises.

In New York, a deeply insecure (and closeted) manlet brandishing a paintball gun and a pellet gun named Sayfullo Saipov wanted to join ISIS, but was laughed out of their ranks for being too much of a pussy to handle any real combat, and far too short to work as an effective meat shield. It was after this embarrassment that he set out to prove himself to the world, which he accomplished by renting a dumpy pickup truck from Home Depot and went bicycle bowling in Lower Manhattan; ultimately killing eight people and injuring numerous others, before he got owned by a school bus, and was later shot in the groin by police, who took the little wannabe terrorist into custody.

Once in custody, he was taken to the hospital in critical but stable condition, and apparently in high spirits. Despite now having a dysfunctional goat blower, he still gloated with beaming delight to hospital staff on his wondrous achievement, despite only managing to score two points higher than some angry American virgin with rage. Apparently, ISIS sets the bar very low when it comes to their followers.

On The Run[edit]

Ow! My Balls!

Being the idiot that he is, he attempted to take out a school bus with a puny wetback pickup truck and was immediately owned like a bitch, after which he got out and started screeching on about wanting to fuck camels for Allah or some crazy assed sandnigger shit. It was clear at this point that he had no coherent plan as he just ran around like an asspie chicken with its head cut off, waving around his play pretend toy guns and looking like a doofy cunt attempting to commit suicide by cop.

As retarded as he is, though, he couldn't even do that right and wound up shot in the baby maker; after which he balled up in the fetal position and began crying like a little girl, begging for the sweet release of death. He was later transported to the hospital where he was stabilized and force fed bacon to ensure he wouldn't attempt to commit suicide.

A Tragic Past[edit]

The deadly assault pickup!

Our little remedial sand bitch is of course an immigrant, one that Obama's administration let on into the country back around 2010 as apart of their "forced diversity" program... no, seriously, we're not even making that up, he literally came into this country through "The Diversity Immigrant Visa Program" put into place by Obama's liberal legion of lackwits Bush Senior's[1] repertoire of Republican retards. The sole purpose of said program was for the government to go out of their way to import as many 5th rate rag heads as they could... what could go wrong?!  :D

After being imported into the country, the liberals dumped him off at Florida, because as much as liberals like to claim they want more diversity, they don't actually want it in their own backyards, so they pawn these mooching suckers off onto largely conservative states like Florida. In a fun twist of irony though our little camel clit licker crossed state lines and went straight for his liberal wranglers in New York.

Now you may be asking, what could have driven such a nice young Muslim man to wanting to become an asshat for ISIS? Well, aside from the extensive religious indoctrination specifically calling for the deaths of all non-Muslims... but we'll just pretend to be CNN or the The Young Turks and completely ignore all that. No, obviously our victimized immigrant was pushed on over the edge by a lack of white guilt and not enough privilege checking on college campuses. It's very clear at this point that there was obviously a severe lack of "safe spaces" that drove this marginalized manlet over dozens of people... oh, wait, no it was a fucking Home Depot truck, sorry.

Notice Me Senpai![edit]

Sayfullo Saipov - Dear ISIS Letter.png

In the aftermath of Sayfullo's short lived attempt to share the bicycle trail investigators found various fan letters to ISIS left inside the vehicle. These letters read like the ramblings of a thirsty 13 year old Japanese school girl desperately vying for the attention of her senpai. Apparently he was desperate to try and prove himself to his Islamic idols in ISIS which is what fueled the attack... well that and the government welfare check that covered the cost of gas.

Share The Bike Trail.png

Graded Score[edit]

Graded Score
Kill count: 8/20 Mediocre
Accuracy: 17/20 8 killed, 11 injured
Style: -20/20 Owned by a school bus and shot in the dick
Butthurt: 16/20 Decent media coverage, but nothing special
Bonus: 10/20 One of many vehicle-ramming attacks in 2017
Total Score: 31/100 (F)
See full ranking

Wanted Level

Police Force


See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Sayfullo Saipov
is part of a series on
Tro0 Muslims [-+]
Countries & Peoples [-+]

AfghanistanAlbania • Algeria • Azerbaijan • Bahrain • Bangladesh • Bosnia & Herzegovina • Brunei • Burkina Faso • Benin • Chad • Comoros • Cote d'Ivoire • Djibouti • East TurkestanEgypt • Eritrea • Guinea • Guinea-Bissau • IndonesiaIranIraqThe Islamic State Of Iraq and Sham • Jordan • KazakhstanKosovoKuwaitKyrgyzstanLebanonLibyaMalaysia • Maldives • Mali • Mauritania • MoroccoNigerNigeria • Northern Cyprus • Oman • PakistanPalestine • Qatar • Saudi Arabia • Senegal • Sierra LeoneSomaliaSwedenSpainSudanSyria • Sahwari Republic • Tajikistan • The Gambia • TunisiaTurkey • Turkmenistan • United Arab Emirates • Uzbekistan • Western Sahara • Yemen

EVIL ISLAMOPHOBES AND BULLIES: AngolaChinaCzech RepublicCroatiaDenmarkEastern EuropeFranceGreeceHungaryItalyIsraelJapanKoreaMyanmarPolandRussiaSpainSerbiaTaiwanUKUnited States of America

Beliefs, Events, Traditions & Other Drama [-+]
Infidels & Islamic No-Nos [-+]
[Cease fire!Pull the trigger]
Sayfullo Saipov is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo: Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 David Long 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Manhattan bombing/shooting 🔫 Sutherland shooting 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Pittsburgh shooting 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 2019 Kyoto Animation arson 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Dayton shooting

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Gun 🔫 Assault rifle 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Jeff Weise


Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Austin, Texas 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Oklahoma massacre 🔫 Columbine 🔫 9/11 (Osama bin Laden 🔫 JEWS DID WTC) 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Jeff Weise 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Behring Breivik

Sayfullo Saipov is part of a series on High score pokemon.png
Are You Ready?[GAME OVERInsert Coin]Go!
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo SaipovSaint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka Easter BombingsTimothy McVeigh

Civilization and Great Prophets

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

Featured article November 2 and 3, 2017
Preceded by
Sayfullo Saipov Succeeded by
The Loud House