ScienceApologist

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The enemies of ScienceApologist imagine him as a Nazi -- but a cute pink one.

ScienceApologist aka Joshua Schroeder is a TOW editor and Science Nazi who famously got permabanned after a group of pissed-off crystal healers, conspiracy freaks, ghost hunting psychics, and UFO nuts successfully trolled him until he went completely batshit insane. The bureaucratic fucks who permabanned him for acting like a huge dickwad soon realized his conflicts and drama were a major source of lulz, so they voted to unban him. When not masturbating to physics textbooks, he's active under the new Wikipedo identity QTxVi4bEMRbrNqOorWBV and is periodically stalked by his sworn enemy and secret gay lover Davkal.

He pwned them with Science[edit]

Davkal, communicating with ghosts and space aliens.

How it all started: once upon a time, Davkal created what he thought was a perfectly good Wikipedia article about how some friend of a friend saw a quantum UFO paranormal thing when he was high on crack. When Scienceapologist pointed out just how much bullshit this was, Davkal and his crew of supporters argued QUANTUM this and ANOMALY that, and WOAH DUDE, MAGNETS, and it's all part of the CONSPIRACY to suppress the TRUTH, man. Basically, every time they'd create some bullshit article, Scienceapologist would get it deleted within 5 seconds. And so, the enemies of Scienceapologist were born.

Hatin on him for real[edit]

Over time, Scienceapologist's enemies grew stronger. They dragged him into the Wiki equivalent of trial court time after time, with Davkal cheerleading the prosecution, arguing that cosmic penis magnetism, gay UFO's and Bigfoot's condom are proven to be real by "peer-reviewed scientific journals" and everyone had better fucking stop making fun of parapsychology, or else. But the more of these huge dramas that took place in Wiki Court, the more his enemies got their asses kicked, and the more pissed-off they got.

Sci vs. Phi[edit]

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Needing more firepower, Davkal formed an alliance with Archive today-ico.png MartinPhi, a powerful magick psychic fag who faced down Scienceapologist in an Arbcom duel to decide whether Wikipedia should say the Earth is round and orbits around the Sun or that it is flat and controlled by shape shifting wizards. Scienceapologist and MartinPhi fought many epic pissing battles in public and at one point were subject to a restraining order. After making some important contributions, MartinPhi threatened several bureaucratic fucks with a psychic castration spell in retaliation for ruining his plan to turn Wikipedia into Hogwarts and have online buttsecks with Fred Bauder. The result: MartinPhi permabanned, and megalithic butthurt among the enemies of Scienceapologist.

Batshit crazy period[edit]

Scienceapologist seeks Man-Dog Love on the streets after being permabanned from Wikipedia.

By 2010, Davkal had pulled together a massive crew of malcontents and sockpuppets to hound Scienceapologist at every turn. So, if Scienceapologist said "The Death Star does not actually exist in reality, you fucking douche", they'd cry and drag him into Wiki Court for being impolite.

Pretty soon he was in Wiki Court every hour of every day, and finally he just bluntly told these assholes to fuck off and die. When Wiki admins cautioned him to stop being impolite and uncivil, he called the admins ignorant jizz-slurping morons and dared the bureaucratic fucks who ran TOW to either ban him or crown him King of all Wikipedos.

   
 
Every time I've acted really ANGRILY on Wikipedia I've never regretted it.
 

 
 

Scienceapologist

So they temporarily banned him, but he came back as an angry sockpuppet to threaten people and act like a complete and utter asshat. The only solution was to permaban him, and so the Wiki Court was somberly draped in black, the ban hammer came down, and Scienceapologist's enemies duly rejoiced.

Resurrection[edit]

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Maybe a year or two later everybody on Wikipedia was just sitting around bored to death. There was no good drama, at least not like the old days. "Hey what about that dude Scienceapologist," they asked, "he wasn't SO bad, let's get his ass back here to stir up some shit". And so a vote was taken, the ban was lifted, Scienceapologist was returned to his rightful place on Wikipedia, and soon, his enemies felt a sharp, stabbing pain in their assholes.

Top 10 Wikipedia Articles created by Davkal but deleted by Scienceapologist[edit]

  • Mysterious (And Itchy) Pubic Crop Circles
  • Penis Dowsing the Gargoyle Chupacabra
  • The Scientific Evidence For Invisible Ghost Farts
  • Telekinetic Slut Hookers
  • Parapsychology Is Respected Science (And If You Don't Believe It, I'll Kill You)
  • Cosmological Condom Fetish
  • Antigravity Anal Probation
  • Paranormal Toenail Fungus Phenomenon
  • Unsolved Paperweight Mutilation Cases
  • Haunted 1969 Chevy Malibu

Links[edit]

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