Scout Schultz

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
What a dead, sexually confused brony looks like.

Scott P. Schultz, a.k.a. "Scout", was a mentally unstable 21-year-old nonbinary intersex bisexual who attended college at the Georgia Institute of Technology where he was president of the LGBT Pride Alliance and known for being politically active (i.e., Tuck Frump). Scout's pronouns are not important because he's fucking dead and we don't give a shit. On September 16, 2017, Scout finally realized that his life was pointless and decided to do the world a favor and remove himself from this miserable plane of existence.

Unfortunately, Scout was too much of a whiny liberal pussyfaggot to paint the walls with his brains, paint his chair with his blood, make a 1950s negro necklace, drink a gallon of Chlorox Bleach, jump in front of a Mack Truck or fly a commercial airliner into a tall building in New York City – instead choosing to get someone else to do the work for him, as was customary for his tribe of lazy, basement-dwelling Millennial hipsters who voted for Bernie Sanders. Fortunately, he did die with the knowledge that getting shot hurts like a bitch.

Scott's Early Life[edit]

What Scott Schultz looked like before college convinced him to become a faggy transtrender.
Hide your girlfriend... I'm headed out for the day.

Scott P. Schultz was born sometime in the mid-1990s to parents William "Bill" Schultz and Lynne Schultz, a pair of unattractive liberal hippies who had both realized that they weren't ever going to find anyone better before reaching menopause and/or succumbing to their inevitable death. Scott often claimed himself to be "intersex", a legitimate medical condition where one is born with ambiguous genitalia – although it seems far more likely that this was complete and utter bullshit and Scott was just a typical biological male who merely began using "intersex" as a label because he was a fucking retarded transtrender who thought that it sounded cool and wanted to fit in with his faggy millennial friends.

At some point in his teens, Scott fell victim to the disease that is modern "Social Justice" and suddenly began identifying as "Scout" and decided that he was a nonbinary bisexual whose pronouns were them/they/cunts – which shouldn't be at all surprising considering the fact that both of his parents were batshit crazy progressive liberals who support Antifa's doxing of "White Supremacists", believe that Russia hacked the 2016 election and want the U.S. to have a $20 minimum wage. In fact, the only redeeming quality we could find about Scott's parents is the fact that his dad hates Israel and the Jews so much that he almost makes us look like a bunch of penny-pinching, hook-nosed Zionists.


A few examples of Scott's parents being dumb libtards:


Eventually, Scout started dressing like a girl—something that he failed so hard at that he almost made Chris-Chan look like a master of passing—and began making a name for himself as an LGBT activist despite being an ugly, white, heterosexual, cisgender male virgin who still played Dungeons and Dragons in fucking 2017.

We seriously aren't even kidding, he actually still played that 1970s shit in 2017. Apparently his parents were too fucking cheap to buy him Skyrim.



SHOOT ME, YOU DONUT-SNORTING PIGS![edit]

Tyler Beck, the innocent police officer who was forced to kill by the raving schizophrenic Scout Schultz.
The weapon that Scout was armed with. He clearly wasn't intending to make it look like he had a gun.
Even a mere splinter can potentially lead to death if left untreated. This is why police shoot knife-wielding psychos.

On September 16, 2017, Scout came to the horrifying realization that his life was completely worthless – quite possibly because he finally realized that 21 years of his parents' mental abuse and constant attempts to shove their leftie politics down his throat had caused him to completely emasculate himself and corrode his identity while making him look like an absolute joke to anyone with a brain.

Realizing that he couldn't fit all of his emo angst into a single letter, Scout proceeded to write three suicide notes before grabbing his knife and calling the police to report a suspicious FUCKING WHITE MALE who was skulking around a parking lot armed with a knife and possibly a gun.


   
 
Looks like he's got a knife in his hand... I think he might have a gun on his hip. Looks like he might be drunk or something. He has long, blond hair, white T-shirt, jeans.
 

 
 

—Scout describes himself to authorities


Unbeknownst to the police, the white male in question was Scout himself who immediately greeted them with the following little gem:


   
 
Shoot me!
 

 
 

—Scout, asking for it


Wanting to de-escalate the situation, 23-year-old rookie baconator Tyler Beck had to react quickly. Remembering the skillz that he had learned in cop school, Officer Beck soon realized that those hundreds of hours of forced diversity training weren't going to help him neutralize an unhinged, lunatic faggot with a knife. Officer Beck quickly improvised and decided to pull out a line that was ripped straight out of every single episode of COPS that he had ever seen on FOX.


   
 
Drop the knife, man, come on.
 

 
 

—Tyler Beck misgenders Scout.


Little did Officer Beck know that he had just made the fatal mistake of assuming Scout's gender. Scout began advancing towards Officer Beck with his tiny little knife and refused to heed Beck's multiple commands to put down the weapon and stop advancing. It was at this moment that Officer Beck had to make the decision that all police dread live for and, despite Scout not being black person and still having vast amounts of white male privilege, fired a bullet straight through Scout's heart. It's pretty safe to say that Scout immediately regretted his choice of suicide method based on the agonizing screams that he emitted after realizing that getting shot tends to hurt even more if you aren't the one pulling the fucking trigger.



   
 
AAAAAAHH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! OH GOD!!!!!!!
 

 
 

—Scout's lulzy last words after finding out that getting shot in the heart hurts like fuck

It Wuz A Gud "Boi!"[edit]

We are fairly certain that this "harmless" weapon could easily sever a cop's jugular.
L. Chris Stewart pulls out a far less threatening hipster knife to make Scout look like a GUD BOI.

Following their faggot son's timely death, Scout's parents grabbed their porch monkey shyster and threw a spectacular press conference to ask the most important question that was on everyone's minds following the tragedy – why in the world would a trained police officer shoot an armed individual who was advancing towards him with a potentially deadly weapon and ignoring orders to stop?


   
 
Why did you have to shoot? That's the only question that matters right now. Why did you kill my son?
 

 
 

—Bill Schultz, asking why a cop wouldn't just let himself get stabbed

   
 
Why didn't they use some nonlethal force, like pepper spray or Tasers?
 

 
 

—Lynne Schultz, not understanding that these methods are often ineffective


Realizing that some people may be smart enough to understand why their idiot son was shot, they also attempted to make a point out of how small their son's knife was and attempt to suggest that the lethal weapon he was brandishing and threatening police with just wasn't lethal enough to be worth shooting him over.

Their lawyer, an distinguished gentleman of color named L. Chris Stewart—who is most well known for representing the families of the dead dindu thugs that Black Lives Matter love to use as an excuse to commit acts of kindness—even dared to suggest that Scout wasn't actually trying to commit suicide-by-cop at all despite leaving three fucking suicide notes in his dorm and calling the police on himself. He also suggested that Scout was in the middle of a mental breakdown, although this seems unlikely judging from Scout's calm demeanor in the 911 call.

Considering the fact that they hired a lawyer who's known for profiting off the deaths of young black men who were justifiably shot by police, it's safe to say that the Schultz family is more interested in getting free money from exploiting their son's death than they are about changing any perceived issues with Georgia's police force. Better insist on a civil suit, cunts.


Antifa Celebrates With Fireworks[edit]

This will teach those murdering pigs that not all fags are violent criminals!
Antifa burned this cop car because most of them are far too pussy to take out actual cops.
Stay classy, Antifags.Archive today-ico.png (archive)
Antifa apparently views Scout Schultz as the opening to a live-action Adult Swim show.
Even the Frenchies condemned Antifa over this shit.

Outraged over the death of their fallen broster, the Atlanta division of the (((domestic))) terrorist organization known as Antifa decided that they had enough of an excuse to go out and wreck shit again. What followed was a long night of middle class, mostly white hipsters chanting "Fuck the police!" and setting a police car on fire.



Contrary to what happens at most Antifa riots, the police were not forced to stand down by their superiors and, following the assault on several law enforcement officers by a pack of feral Antifa thugs, they managed to arrest one hipster, one negress and Shaggy from Scooby Doo.


ArrestedAntifags.png



Facebook Trolling[edit]

TrollingScoutsFacebook.png


Quotes[edit]

   
 
For those wishing to continue the activism of #ScoutSchultz. Purchase a dildo in them's memory. #resist #LGBTQ
 

 
 

—Loretta Ho‏, reminding us that parody and degeneracy are indistinguishable Archive today-ico.png (archive)


Videos[edit]


The 911 call that Scout made.

How to explain to retards that a knife is a deadly weapon.

Larry Wachs triggers a tranny by calling Scout "It".

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Jailsuicide.gif
Scout Schultz
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPodXbox]

Budd Dwyer.gif
Failures

Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonAugust AmesBob8466Brandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCodey PorterDavid LongDavid RitchesonDennis AvnerDevin Patrick KelleyDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonImma-The-DeerJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJosh BallardJustin-anonKatelyn Nicole DavisKevin Neil WhitrickKimveer GillKlerckKorryn GainesKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLil PeepLivecorpseMario FerreyraMarvin HeemeyerMatthias SchoormannMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMichael RyanMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariNasim AghdamNghtmrchld26Otoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffPhoebe ConnopQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRandy Robert StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobert SemanRobert SteinhäuserRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonScout SchultzSebastian BosseShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen HuffStephen KazmierczakStephen PaddockSteve StephensStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTiziana CantoneTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVerne TroyerVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWilliam AtchisonXallyfacex

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

Portal icon - social justice.gif

Scout Schultz is part of a series on

Social Justice

Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.

Portal faggotry.png

Scout Schultz is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Scout Schultz is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChloe SagalChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDavid KatzDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdd GouldEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostGene RayGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJason BowenJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKate SpadeKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLeelah AlcornLemonade CoyoteLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRdtheproductionsRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShayStan LeeStephen HawkingStephen Hillenburg ☠️ Stephen PaddockSteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVerne TroyerVester FlanaganVidmeWilliam AtchisonZippcast

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAdam WanAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex HirschAtheistsAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAniMatAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAndrei ThomasAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthony ToneyAntony AguilarAnytownfagApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Ariana GrandeArin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlood on the Dance FloorBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBrokeNCYDEBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDani_WillowDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDaron NefcyDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Doopie DoOverDoopie DoOver/PeopleDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakondrp1zzaDustinEdray1416EmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErik "Tazman" MokracekExoParadigmGamerFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777Hozupindahows00sI Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyInSaNe-REYNARDJames HolmesJamil The KingJennifer BaquingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276JoshU2uberJoshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Karamatsugirllover92Kat DenningsKathleen ToddKendall JennerKenny GlennKero The WolfKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKrashedKurt EichenbaldLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Les SixLeslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMajira StrawberryA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatrooko11Matthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeganSpeaksMeowbarkMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandymindoutofsyncMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlParkourdude91Paul FeigPaulie CalafiorePeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelProfessor KuhtoonsQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRavenNGRebecca SugarRebelTaxiRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSam HydeSam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSega KidSegacampSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSolidMarioSonmanicSonofOdin29Sons of KojimaSony-MaeSONYFANBOYSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpiderfanStephen SampleStormySuperlisamcbSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSusan J. ElliottTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTimboxTim BuckleyTJ LaneToby J RathjenTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayVideo game reviewersViolette1stWade FulpWeatherManKevinWeegeeisgoingtokillmWesley!!!WingsofRedemptionWinona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaYoshiwii1YandereDevYouyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleAtheismBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinity Furry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNarutoNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPAW PatrolPlastic CrapPlenty of FishPunk rock/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSkaSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV TropesUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

Featured article September 21 & 22, 2017
Preceded by
Tom Preston
Scout Schultz Succeeded by
Valerie Plame