SEGA

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Sega (pronounced "SAYGUH!!!") is a company which in its illustrious history has produced an abundance of Arcade titles, gaming consoles and disturbingly courted a furry-fanbase of staggering proportions; besting the majority of rivals in said field with its Sonic output alone. Sega was established at least 100 years ago by a few Hawaiian guys before moving to Japan, eventually catering to the booming Arcade market of the late 1970's before then moving on to home invasion.


A brief history of Sega Corporation[edit]


SAGE


As stated, in the 1940's some Hawaiians with too much time on their hands produced amusement machines. A couple decades later after moving to Japan, arcade-titles in order to obtain the pocket-change of their disenfranchised populace. As the market declined they followed the industry progression into home console based gaming with their release of The Master System. In 1986 Sega unveiled Alex Kidd in Miracle World which featured the original Sega mascot Alex Kidd, a child who looked like a monkey. In the 1990's Kidd's position was usurped by Sonic the Hedgehog and since then nobody has given him a second thought. In the 1990's Sega entered into fierce competition with rival gooks Nintendo. Ultimately, Nintendo won. But all of the Sega kiddies beg to differ, since all of the fanboys are closed-minded furfaggots.


The Consoles of Sega Corporation[edit]

The consoles were complete shit and everybody knows it. Although there were some consoles that were successful in terms of gross income, but the rest were faded away since Nintendo kicked their sorry asses out of the marketing campaign.

Console Title Notes
Aryan Master System Master System A NES with better music and graphics. Two iterations were released, the second doing away with the popular tinfoil-plated cardboard method of game delivery thereby restricting consumers to a cartridge only title selection. Popular titles included Rampage, Double Dragon and Sonic the Hedgehog.
Sega Master System 2.jpg Master System 2 Electric Boogaloo.
Sega Genesis.jpg Genesis A SNES with improved graphics, although some argue that the lack of Mode 7 Rotation afforded Nintendo an edge over its competitor. Akin to its predecessor two iterations were released, both being 16-bit with the second possessing a more streamlined appearance. Popular titles included Sonic the Hedgehog, Altered Beast, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and Sonic 3. In Europe the console was released as The Sega MegaDrive.
Sega Genesis 2.png Genesis 2 Electric Boogaloo.
Sega Mega Drive.jpg MegaDrive European variant.
Sega CD Mark 1.jpg Sega CD A peripheral released for the Genesis which allowed developers to release titles containing FMV, the most striking example being the controversial Night Trap. It also played movies in twenty-colors at two frames a second, the resolution was somewhere in the region of 240px and half the screen remained black. Total dogshit. Popular titles included the aforementioned Night Trap, Sonic CD and... well, that's about it.
Sega CD Mark 2.png Sega CD 2 Electric Boogaloo.
Sega 32X.png Sega 32x A further peripheral released for the Genesis and even more worthless than the Sega CD. Also makes the Sega Genesis looks even shittier by making the add-on look like a fucking mushroom.
Sega game gear.jpg Game Gear A portable gaming device almost as awful as the Atari Lynx.
Sega CDX.png Sega CDX A Genesis & Sega CD brought together in one unit and released in Europe as the Multi-Mega. Worth every penny of it's $560 (£350) price-tag.
Sega Neptune.jpg Sega Neptune This is when SEGA realized that having the 32X as an add-on was redundant. This console plays the 32x games, even though the entire library of games is complete shit and everybody knows it.

BALEETED

Sega Saturn Console.jpg Sega Saturn Souped up Genesis with an eight-button controller and CD capabilities. Was great at 2D but shit at 3D, but the system failed because the CEO of SEGA didn't want any 2D games or RPGs going overseas.
Sega Dreamcast Console.jpg Dreamcast A rival of the PSX and N64, the last console released by Sega and beloved by afficionados, it is notable as being the first Sega console with online capability and having the greatest controller evar!!!!11111oneoneone. Best known for affording gamers the opportunity to punch Michael Jackson in the face. It was so terrible it set SEGA out of the console business.


Unfunny SEGA Logo Revamps[edit]

SEBA: SEGA's Mexican cousin.


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See Also[edit]

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