Selena Lechuga (a.k.a. selenalettuce, toohightoriot, viibesnstuff and cyzalean) is an obese 23-year-old Latinx Antifa banshee from Commiefornia who, after witnessing a fellow Feminazi named Bethany Renee Nava being harrassed by a cis hetero white male Police officer for womanspreading on a Los Angeles metro train, immediately sprang into action by literally spitting in the face of justice and then crying about being a "victim of police brutality" despite the fact that she wasn't black and only had three holes in her body.
In an ironic twist, the LAPD's crackdown on bad behaviour in the metro system was actually a direct result of feminist scum constantly screaming about "manspreading" and other problematic behaviour on trains and buses in the city – meaning that none of this would have ever even happened if Selena and Bethany had just stayed in the goddamn kitchen.
I Spitteth on Thee!
On January 22, 2018, an 18-year-old aspiring actress named Bethany Renee Nava (a.k.a. rawrrawrrenee and itsnotbee; born: November 25, 1999) boarded a metro train in Los Angeles and then proceeded to violate the metro's rules and act like a complete cunt to other passengers by placing her feet on another passenger's seat and taking up more space than she deserved. After noticing what Nava was doing, a passenger named Brock Bryan informed an LAPD metro officer named Sergeant Hutchings of the situation.
Hutchings politely asked Bethany to stop womanspreading, to which Bethany responded by acting like a typical obnoxious millennial cunt with an inflated sense of self-importance and a belief that rules do not apply to her and then proceeded to call Hutchings an "asshole" all while disobeying his requests. After refusing to be a courteous passenger and disobeying repeated requests to obey the metro's rules, Hutchings was left with no choice but to remove Bethany from the train – which would have gone much more smoothly if Bethany hadn't actively resisted and then attempted to lodge her entire body behind a metal bar in an attempt to avoid being removed from the train.
—Bethany Nava, after violating the L.A. Metro rules
After removing Belligerent Bethany from the train, Hutchings soon found himself being confronted on the platform by a fat, queer, tumblrina named Selena Lechuga who—hoping that she may get the once-in-a-lifetime chance to scissor with moderately-attractive and barely legal Bethany if she went full white knight on the police—almost immediately began accusing Hutchings of racism for arresting someone who just wasn't white enough. Also confronting Hutchings was Brock Bryan, the very same faggot that had initially reported Bethany's violation of the metro rules.
Realizing that he was now completely surrounded on all sides by batshit insane and potentially violent social justice warriors, Hutchings phoned for blackup and continued attempting to de-escalate the situation as the psycho bitches bombarded him with profanities and attempted to make a public spectacle out of nothing. The brave officer soon realized that he had no choice but to either put them all down or arrest them. Unfortunately, Hutchings refrained from putting a bullet in each of the women's heads long enough for backup to arrive.
Two officers then began politely escorting the two women out of the metro station when Selena, who was unwilling to accept defeat and still desperately wanted a chance to munch Bethany's barely legal carpet, suddenly turned around and launched a disgusting AIDS and blue waffle-infested loogie in Sergeant Hutchings' general direction. Thanks to this final act of defiance and assaulting a police officer, what would have been a simple disorderly conduct charge was upgraded to a far more serious assault and battery charge with a $20,000 bail.
Non-Kosher Viral Marketing
Following the incident, Brock Bryan (a.k.a. BrockStar and brockisamazing), a so-called "fashion designer" and massive queermo drag queen faggot of ambiguous ethnicity, went on Facebook and posted a video of the Metro incident with the following thought-provoking commentary.
—Priorities, Brock has them
Yes, before even posting the video of this supposed "injustice", Brock had actually found the time to go to a "viral video licensing agency" called ViralHog in an attempt to preemptively monetize his shitty vertical iPhone video of a police officer actually doing his fucking job. Seeing as all of Brock's Facebook followers are fucking brain-dead morons and pinkos who actually believe that the LAPD are a white supremacist organization tasked with genociding black people, it should come as no surprise that the video quickly managed to go viral just like Brock and his pocketbook wanted it to.
BUT MUH VICTIMHOOD!
On January 29, 2018, Bethany Nava held a press conference where—rather than simply apologizing to the innocent police officer that she verbally abused the previous week and then saying that she had learned from her mistakes—she would instead announce that she was filing a frivolous lolsuit against the LAPD alleging that they used "excessive force" and "violated her rights". To ensure that she'd look like more of a victim at her stupid press conference, Bethany also made sure to stop by her local CVC Pharmacy to pick up a cheap-arse wrist brace and some ACE Bandages that she could hastily apply to her arm.
In an epic display of learning absolutely nothing, Bethany attempted to defend her shitty behaviour by stating that there is no law against womanspreading – which, while true, doesn't account for the fact that the LA Metro's own rules explicitly prohibit such behaviour and even state that passengers who violate the rules can be ejected, which technically makes Bethany's refusal to leave after being told to by the authorities into a case of trespassing, which is, in fact, very much against the law.
For even moar Victim Points™, Bethany then decided to pull out the age card and began upchucking a horrible made-up story about how she had just turned 18 and was on the train to meet her mum at the DMV to get her ID updated – a story that would have been far more believable if the metro incident hadn't happened nearly two whole months after Bethany's 18th birthday.
—Stephanie Lechuga, being just as retarded as her hooligan sister
Fight for the Soul of the Cities
Fight for the Soul of the Cities (a.k.a. FIGHT SOUL CITIES) is a social justice organization that has its own head so far up its own arse that it's almost impossible to tell what their actual purpose is supposed to be. The organization claims that some of its goals include ending global warming, stopping "genocide" against the black nation, stopping violence against wimminz and abolishing the police – yes, these are some seriously dumb niggers who almost make Black Lives Matter activists look intelligent by comparison.
Following the arrest of Selena Beluga, Fight for the Soul of the Cities decided to rally behind her because of course they would.
—nativexicana, asking for a visit from ICE
—Chris Rodriguez, asking for a visit from ICE
—illymation, proving that retards of a feather flock together
Galleria de Ambergris
- Zarna Joshi
- Luke Crywalker
- AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck
- Black Lives Matter
- Cancer - What Selena is.
- - Selena's equally retarded sister.
- - Private.
- firstname.lastname@example.org - Selena's email address, you know what to do.
- - Bethany's mum.
- The L.A. Metro Rules - Read and learn, bitches.
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