Sereza

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search

WHAT ARE YOUR ORDERS, COMMANDER?[edit]

Sereza, final boss of teh internets.
Tank Commander Sven, "Load Missile!"
Tank Commander Sven invading Flavour Country
GLUTTON

Sereza, a.k.a. Tank Commander Sven (for his trademark helmet and imposing Soviet figure), is a 46 year old camwhore from Russia now Finland with a penchant for ill-fitting burlesque wear and lulzy acts of sick, on-camera depravity.
He is also known as King Snorlax. Of all the cam4 users, it is safely assumed Sereza possesses the largest and sickest collection of toys (both legit and improvised). Despite access to a private sexual armory, the Commander's weapon of choice remains the every-day plastic bottle of varying sizes; always jammed on the end of his stubby fat-guy dick.

Speaking little English, "Sereza the Spectacle" wastes no time on pointless banter - except to occasionally mouth moans or provide his e-mail / Messenger address [sven7654@hotmail.com], between bottle changes...
During the course of a show, the Commander has creatively incorporated most of the following:

  • Ribbons and Bows
  • Plastic Bottles
  • Lit Cigarettes
  • Breast Pump
  • Dildos and Vibrators (of every degree)
  • Bedsheets
  • Panties
  • Blow Up Doll
  • Dildo Holsters
  • moar!

On a typical afternoon, during one single show, Sereza can be expected to put on a number of "mini-acts". At the end of each act, he closes the proverbial stage curtains by draping a small, well-used towel over his genitals and mysteriously vanishes from set, as the camera turns to black...

Upon his return, the Commander resumes action, refreshed - typically sporting a new toy and is most open to any comments and suggestions. Svenbig.jpg


MMM LOL[edit]

Svenconfession.jpg

After being heckled by some really straight guys in a fat nude man's chat, Tank Commander Sven, while fingering his pussy through a French Maid outfit, responded to the troublemakers by reassuring his audience that he did not like men; that he was, in fact, into women, because:


   
 
I GIRL TOO LOL
 

 
 
<p style="font-size:85%; line-height:1em; text-align:right">—the Commander, brilliant strategic counter offensive


Comments and Suggestions[edit]

:( :( :(
Ex-KGB, the Commander incorporated his gun holster nicely

To date, Sereza has only flat-out refused to attempt double anal, claiming

   
 
nooo one strong ... i dont know 2 dildo in small ass
 

 
 

—blushing

Despite mass support for denied DP, one must always remain polite when dealing with a lady.
One insecurity aside, most Cam4 users are barely able to masturbate right, let-alone


'PUT RAMAN NOODLES IN PUSSY MAKE WET WITH PUSSY JUICES' or 'PEE ON RAMAN NOODLES MAKE WET PUT SAUCE IN PEE STIR WITH DICK'


...but being a stoic Russian and mammoth slut, Tank Commander Sven might just be the one willing to step-up to the plate and win over his fans - if somebody were to translate the request into Commie and ask him.

Sadly, despite an overwhelming commitment to the lulz and a willingness to try almost every form of debauchery (and invent the rest) Sereza remains too real for the average cam4 user; and has been denied the rightful 'most viewed profile of the month / day' award...


Gallery[edit]

External Links[edit]

His Blog

Email [1]

MSN

Cam 4 page


Portal icon whores.gif

Sereza is part of a series on

Whores

Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.