Sergey Brin

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This article may cause you to facepalm, because it is written so only a complete geek understands it. Feel free to go blind faget.
WHERE'S MY FORESKIN

Sergay Mikhaylovich Brin is one of the wealthiest people on earth, so of course he's a Jew. Like most Heeb pussies, Sergey and his parents escaped from Mudder Russia in 1979, because of the butthurt being administered by those shit-eating Russkie child molesters.

Losers

Ask Archive today-ico.png his сука старая what kind of kid he was. Oops, sorry, deleted.

   
 
First word: He was born in Russia and his first word was golova, which is "head" in Russian. He had a toy like a clown that had a head turning around, and it was a three-syllable word, which was pretty surprising. He was 16 months.

Chores: It wasn't a strickly ruled household. But, no, he didn't really help too much.

Worst habit: I'd say his worst habit is all of a sudden in the middle of the conversation, he goes somewhere in his world and forgets about the conversation that he's having at the moment. It really annoys me. You have to repeat the question a couple of times until he comes back.

High school girlfriends: There was a girl who invited him to her prom — she was a year older. Sergey never had his own prom because, as his father puts it, he dropped out of high school.

On being a high school dropout: He went through his junior year, and it was more or less obvious that there wasn't much else that he could take in high school. So he applied to college and was accepted.

Who Mom wants to see him with: Somebody exciting who could be really interesting to him. And the rest, I guess, doesn't matter. As long as he is in love and he's interested in the person. Would be nice if that person were pretty friendly too, and had a sense of humor that could match his.

Why Mom thinks he's still single: First of all, he's just 27. I don't see too many young American men who marry before this age. And second, I don't guess he's met the right girl.
 


 
 

—Thanks mum

So they ended up in Maryland, and little Serg, being a soooper Aspie genius who likes to dress up as a girl or a loser, promptly read 200 books, then dropped out of high school, went to Stanford and bragged about all the books he read, which he actually didn't. (They preserved his student website, as a warning.)

How Google was shat out[edit]

He and Larry Page, BFF and fellow sucker of used buttplugs, took the web indexing algorithm they invented as Stanford students and installed it on a pile of cheap motherboards in the garage of their friend and loose dick-snuffler Susan Wojcicki. Because they are precious and twee and they liek mudkips, they called it a really stupid and annoying name, "Google"; so people would think they were lesbians.

Where they kept the foreskins and the пизде́ц

They went around lying to venture capitalists, who threw money at them after the bukakke. Then they turned it into a "real company", which they had to cut a "deal" with Stanford for, because hey, "you used our computers to develop your software, suck our clits". To this fucking day, there's two Stanford bigshits on Google's board of directors: John Hennessy, the president of Stanford, and Ram Shriram, a Stanford director. They hired Susan, they hired her sister, they hired smart people and started fucking them over, after forcing them to sign the worst NDA ever written. There's no better way to build a giant corporation than by assraping stupid young coders. 1337.

Now they're the #1 search engine and the world's biggest advertising company. Made $66 billion in 2014. Little Sergey can buy your ass and smoke it, though he seems to prefer the telephone-pole sized black cawks. дрочиться.

иди в пизду[edit]

He married Susan's sister Anne in 2007. Supposedly they swam out to a sandbar in the Bahamas and had the ceremony there. Good way to keep the fat old parents away. Then everybody humped a dolphin. (Far as you know. Maybe it was a fat Ukrainian whore in a dolphin suit.)

Jewgolds[edit]

Little Sergey the Magic Wrestler and his wife started a "foundation" with truckloads of cash he had lying around the house. Couldn't use it as asswipe because there was too much, so they gave buckets and buckets of money to people they liked/wanted to manipulate. They gave millions to Wikipedia, they gave hundreds of millions to Parkinson's researchers (might be because his mother is showing signs of Parkinson's, meaning Sergey will probably develop it someday, everything Sergey does is selfish), they ran around buying companies and making them "disappear".

They helped get Creative Commons started, so they could own Larry Lessig's soul and use it as a snotrag. Larry has his tongue buried so deeply in Serg's ass that Jimbo Wales was called to yank it out. Without money from The Goog, Creative Commons and the EFF and TOW might not exist today. Hackers and nerds are fucking stupid if they think those outfits exist to "help people". They also exist to help The Mighty Goog in its neverending ass-quest to weaken copyright. Goog depends on copyright abuse for a chunk of its revenue. Goog's little cock-toy YouTube would have been pulled down by the Feds long ago if Serg and Larry hadn't started spending millions on lobbying and dirty tricks. [1][2][3] Since the entertainment world is in favor of stronger copyright laws and is fulla Jews, it's a Heeb vs. Heeb smackdown! Gotta chew off those foreskins!

Anne started a company called 23andme, that was going to sell cheap DNA testing to poor people. The FDA objected, lol. Gotta do something with all that Jew gold they cocksucked out of American business.

PANTIES

Anne kicks him to the toilet[edit]

In 2013 Anne discovered that her dear, sweet little Sergey had been fucking a Google employee, a Chew named Amanda Rosenberg. So, divorce, after only six years of marriage and two children, who were immediately fed to Larry Page. He's still shitting them out. Oh the lulz.

Many lulz were had in the repeated creation, deletion and and desperate attempt to defend the existance of an article on Amanda Rosenberg on TOW. Fortunately the trainwreck was restored in all its glory by its loser creator Geo Swan ("one of Wikipedia's 800 most active losers") on the loserpedia, Baleeted:Amanda Rosenberg.

hellspawn and lunch

It says right here[edit]

In his Wikipedia bio, which is watched for him by Wikipedia administrators: "Brin is a supporter of lab-grown meat and kite-energy systems.[55][56]" They forgot to mention the buttplugs. It also barely mentions the collapse of his marriage and says fuck-all about his Archive today-ico.png philandering, a whole lot of lulz that we aren't supposed to know about.

He must be a dick-eater. It says here that he wears Crocs to "business meetings". Sergey and the Zuck, lol. How does it feel to be at the center of a sweaty and smelly Heeb-nerd sandwich, Keira?

No foreskins here

Bullshit he says[edit]

   
 
"Obviously everyone wants to be successful, but I want to be looked back on as being very innovative, very trusted and ethical and ultimately making a big difference in the world."


 


 
 

—"You always hear the phrase, money doesn't buy you happiness. But I always in the back of my mind figured a lot of money will buy you a little bit of happiness. But it's not really true. I got a new car because the old one's lease expired."

   
 
"If Google Books is successful, others will follow." (It wasn't lolol.)


 


 
 

—"ëб твою мать пе́дик shitcock"

COPYRIGHT-FREE VAGS FOR EVERYONE

Videos[edit]

<center>how awesome Google Glass is</center>
<center>"comic relief"</center>
<center>russian lol</center>
<center>someone dumps sperm on L&S</center>
<center>his ex-bitch</center>
The standard size of appliance found at the Brin home(s)

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

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