Sexual Harassment

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Leaving the ugly women out will only cause lawsuits, so be sure to slap a fat ass or two!

Sexual Harassment is a form of good, clean fun that causes increased workplace productivity and in some cases rape. Traditionally, the sexual harasser will demand sex from the sexual harassee, resulting in massive lulz for everyone in the vicinity. Girls love it more than they love black cock. Sexual harassment is considered a form of illegal discrimination in many countries, except for the United States. It is mandatory conduct while posting on /b/.

For many businesses, preventing sexual harassment, and defending its managerial employees from sexual harassment charges, have become key goals of legal decision-making, just like preventing underage smoking is a major concern for the tobacco companies. In contrast, many scholars assert that sexual harassment in education remains a necessary tool, with educators and administrators groping their students down the path to college.

Recently, women who take themselves too seriously have began to express their uncontrollable penis envy by persuading companies to provide sexual harassment awareness education seminars.

Inspirational Examples[edit]

Young black males are most prone to commit Sexual Harassment coz dats how dey roll YO!
  • "Hey, Cindy! I'll give you a raise for a blowjob." - This is the kind of sexual harassment that your daddy does to his secretary. It is useful for making sure that only the most dedicated women move up the business ladder.
  • "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill your dog." or “Who are your parents gonna believe, me or some snot-nosed little kid?” – This is the type of sexual harassment that your uncle Bob does to you at all the family gatherings. It is best to heed his advice, as those are not empty bluffs. Take it like a champ, and remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. As the poetry of Space Moose goes, "My middle age uncle Bob implored me to polish his knob. I flatly declined, but Bob's rage was blind. Through violence he got his blowjob."
  • "[Silence]" - This is the form of sexual harassment that will never affect you, as it only happens to important people IRL. Also known as stalking, this is what happens when you go a little overboard with the cockteasing, thereby forcing someone to follow you around until they decide to put an end to their meaningless existence.
  • "I'd like to penetrate that bitch! [whistle]" - This is what happens when women who are prettier than you walk by a constructions site. You also will never have to worry about this because you are fugly.

If you ever begin to doubt yourself, just remember; everyone can commit sexual harassment!

Sexual Harassment on the Internets[edit]

This is an illusion—there are no girls on teh internets.

This is a complete shit excuse for womyn to bitch about why they were angsty last thursday. Some butthurt females like to claim "OMG LIEK INTERNETS HARASSMENT" or "YOU NO ALLOWED TO DO DAT ON TEH INTERWEBS," but of course we know this is false because:

Some people actually think that there are girls on the internets, and thus fail miserably at their sexual harassment endeavors. These people then retreat to loli infested places like MySpace and/or become DevianTARTlets. In most cases, they become an hero, although it's totally not lulzy because they didn't lose their ipod.

Reasons to Commit Sexual Harassment[edit]

  • Someone needs to be put in their place.
  • For teh lulz.
  • That bitch is asking for it.
  • She's a woman.
Others even try to prevent it.

What Counts As Sexual Harassment[edit]

Common Effects on the Victims[edit]

Common professional, academic, financial, and social effects of sexual harassment:

  • Increased work or school performance; decreased absenteeism.
  • Promotion of job or career, boost in income.
  • Having one's personal life offered up for public scrutiny, just like the celebrity that you wish you were.
  • Being idolized and worshiped by your peers
  • Becoming publicly sexualized, right in the pooper.
  • More likely to face Rape, all females fired or banned from the office, and "Hate Crimes" by men *gasp* fighting them strong women.

See Also[edit]


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