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Shane Dawson

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ED CLEANER 2.jpg This article needs a serious clean up

Somebody should do something about it.

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Shane Dawson lets loose his faggotry.


   
 
The only people who actually seem to like Shane Dawson are scene kids, indie faggots, and little kids. I would rather jar-squat than watch anymore of this retarded shit
 

 
 

—piel10, thinking 1man1jar is more appealing than Dawson.


Shane "Fucktard" Dawson (born July 19, 1988) is a YouTube man-whore, racist, faggot, and cross-dresser who is always begging for 5 stars, moar comments, moar subscribers, and moar money. Shane Dawson was the 3rd, 7th and 56th most subscribed on YouTube (he runs 3 channels, one of them consisting of all iPhone videos, and fucks the system up for everybody). Every other day, he makes a new, tasteless fail video, and it's on the YouTube homepage for the next 3-4 months. He is one of the first people to help make the term "Youtube Whore" a valid description.

He was born Shane Yaw but changed his name to Dawson in 2008, supposedly after getting turned down as an actor because people thought he was Asian. That's right, Shane wants to be an actor.[1] As it turns out, the real reason he gets rejected is that he can't act for shit.

Shane also says he won't have sex until marriage which is false since he has had sex with his cats multiple times.

Most of his fans are fucktards who belong to the Cult of YouTube and worship all its gods, Shane, RayWilliamJohnson, Shaycarl, Sxephil, iJustine, etc.

The Formula

Shane Dawson is the person who popularized the "YouTube Whoring" formula by letting everyone know that the mass-market is retarded enough to fund people who do it. A YouTube Whore is a constantly begs for subscribers and positive ratings, uses cheap tactics to get large numbers of comments, and uses misleading titles and thumbnails to get views. They are scum and deserve what comes to them.

Important note: Shane, as well as the other YouTube Whores are breaking YouTubes' terms of service by using misleading thumbnails and titles. YouTube however, has double standards for people that make money for them. This basically means you are only allowed to break the rules if you are a YouTube partner, so be a YouTube Whore at own risk.


Step 1: Give Your Video a Scandalous and Misleading Title

This is for real by the way.

Step 2: Have a series of shitty "Characters" (AKA excuses to crossdress and be a racist fag)

  • Shane: Yes, he is a character in his own show. Naturally this character is the sane, normal one who is always right.
  • His Aunt Hilda: An old bitch with serious partying issues, not funny at all.
  • Amy: Shane's love interest, who he plays, revealing how in love with himself he is.
  • Barb: A stereotypical dyke who rides a motorcycle and has too many piercings.
  • Shanaynay: Shitty stereotypical ghetto woman who, despite the fact that Shane wears a blonde wig when playing her, is clearly mean to mock nigger women. She always ends the episode by 'shooting' up a drug store/ fast food place/ whatever the fuck employment he feels a ghetto black woman would work at
  • Ned the Nerd: Stereotypical geek who never gets laid but is obsessed with sex, the real Shane Dawson.
  • Paris Hilton: A very accurate portrayal of Paris Hilton, if she was actually a tranny.
  • His mom: Yep, he's gone even [that far]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qzEIy0P-s0 . He reveals that the root of his faggotry is mommy issues by portraying his mother as a cruel woman who hates him and wants him to die.
  • S-Deezy: A gangster who dresses w/ chains and other gangster things, but at funny at all, spends all his videos talking about how fucking GIANT his dick is (but, of course we know how much of a lie that is!)

Step 3: Make Every Video The Same

  1. Smile and wave at camera, ask "hey, what's up you guys?"
  2. Find a hawt sexy picture of some chick on Google
  3. Make a video about nothing
  4. Act like a cunt for 3 to 10 minutes
  5. Add a few childish penis/vagina jokes
  6. Look shocked every 10 seconds
  7. Upload to YouTube
  8. Change the thumbnail to the hawt chick
  9. ???
  10. Profit!

Bonus points for having emo hair and dressing up in drag as your entire family. (P.S.: Acting like some ghetto nigger almost guarantees that the video will get on the top viewed of all time list)


Step 4: Rip As Much Money From Your Fans as you Can

In addition to being a YouTube partner, Shane also has the Shane Dawson t-shirt store was created.

If you buy one of these t-shirts, you are not only a disgrace to mankind, but you are also a walking fucking advertisement. Most of them include genius catchphrases like "SHANANAY IS MY HOMEGURL" and the ShaneDawsonTV logo on the bottom. If you see somebody wearing one of these shirt-rapes, punch him in the face. If you are related to that person, also make sure to become an hero to redeem yourself.

Update: His shirts, among other kewl merchandising, are available at Hot Topic now. If you want to become the ass clown of your school, be sure to get at least one of those shirts as long as they are available. This guy's doing it right:

At least now nobody has to find an excuse for beating him up.

Song Parodies

Somehow Shane got the idea in his head that if you can think of something that rhymes with the title of a popular song, then turn that into an actual song parody and fill it with dick jokes and cross-dressing that it will be "LIEK THE FUNNIES THING IVE EVAR SEEN, GAIZ".

Here are a few examples:

Oh wow, he cross-dressed as his auntie and tried to get laid, just like in every other fucking video he's ever made...

Here he shits on Fred, which is like horse shit shitting on bull shit. Either way, it's all shit. Notice how he intends "he totally likes to suck cocks" to be funny.

Worst failure to date

Sometime in August 2009, Shane Dawson uploaded his worst excuse of a video (that means something) yet. Not long after, even YouTube (well known for sucking Shane's e-cock) gave Shane the middle finger by pulling that crap down. Some people rumored that Shane himself flagged the video with a sockpuppet account to gain more sympathy (big, bad bullies at YouTube go against the little guy), but sadly nothing can be proven.

Here is the video for everyone who enjoys a nice, long facepalm:

TheStation

In July 2009 Shane Dawson, sXePhil, Lisa Nova, KassemG, Shaytards and DaveDays among other "comedians" created a new channel called "TheStation". It should have been a channel where they make collaboration videos, but what can you expect from a group of unfunny comedians? As you could already guess, they all perform the principles of YouTube-whoring. All in all it's an awful YouTube group channel, there's not much else to say other than it's an orgy of unfunny.

Wars with the YTwatchdog and TheArchfiend

These two brave men fought for justice, peace, America, lulz, and the YouTube way!

Shane Dawson hate videos are very common. The YTwatchdog was the first man to call Shane on his bullshit. The ensuing fight brought many epic lulz to us who enjoyed the YTwatchdog. Shane Dawson decided to get revenge on the YTwatchdog, so he used his Twitter to send the faggots that are his fans raging after YTwatchdog. He also posted a video on YouTube about his so called "hate" video. He got YTwatchdog's video flagged by his fangirls, which resulted in the suspension of the YTWatchdog. The lulzdog came back in a few months with a new attack. This time, Shane only talked about it on Twitter before giving up.

TheArchfiend is your typical Eagles fan on YouTube and also a YTWatchdog fanboy. He decided to do something useful for once, and stopped bitching about the Cowboys beating the Eagles in the 2009-10 playoffs just long enough to attack Shane Dawson. He ending up being banned and blocked from his YouTube channel all in the matter of 2 minutes.

As of March 29, The Archfiend intentionally made it seem like he was no longer making videos to make Shane fanboys jizz in their pants, however turns out he was only moving to a different home. (Get it, "I swear on the life of my family that I'll never turn on my camera and make another video in this room again"? )

Note: As of July 8th 2010 the Archfiend is suspended from YouTube due to bogus copyright claims. But as of July 17th 2010 his account isn't suspended anymore.


Third channel

In April 2010 Shane decided that he didn't have enough shitty videos, so he made another channel dedicated to random shit he pulls out of his ass. All of these videos are filmed with his iPhone, which "is known for its awesome recording quality". Basically, because he's trying to be 'authentic' and 'honest' he can skip the long and arduous editing progress and get maximum views with minimal effort.

The Archfiend took some time off his busy schedule to translate Shane's video into proper English:

This is a pretty average video from the third channel

Shane's fans

Shane Dawson's fans are some of the dumbest and most annoying pricks in the Internet. They will defend their hero, no matter what and fail miserably at it, no matter what. In addition they can't write like decent human beings.

Here a few samples of what you can (or cannot) expect from them:

   
 
You guys are being so disrespectful! You dirty jellyfish molesters! >:L You guys have no sympathy for life and you are just being bullys and need to Shut the FUCK up Already
 

 
 

—mika15ful

   
 
@MegaRAEG You stupid Jellyfish Molesting whore! You can SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SO CAN @TheGrandmaDawson2 AND @Auntdawson YOU GUYS ARE JUST A PUNCH OF STUPID LIFELESS JERKS THAT NEED TO FUCK OFF AND JUST LEAVE SHANE ALONE! STUPID ASSHOLE!! YOUR SO DISRESPECTFUL!
 

 
 

—mika15ful... showing the full extent of her tard rage.

   
 
what is it wereing on its head? is it going to go and pick rice?
 

 
 

—lorikat1

   
 
LOL ur a legend u have a 14in penis
 

 
 

—yunalover17

   
 
Wow your a fucking dumb ass loser
 

 
 

—thecreatiiveone

   
 
You are just saying all of these things because you are just really hate Shane Dawson because he has over 1,000,000 subscribers and you think that he is a faggot but actually has good videos and he just wants loads of people to see his videos because he is an actor. What's wrong with that?
 

 
 

—thecreatiiveone

   
 
your a asshole dont insalt pepole that are bigger then you on youtube mother fucker
 

 
 

—zuneley

   
 
U r just jealous.
 

 
 

—ConsiderMeGuru

   
 
"look u a gay as mother fucker with no heart and no taste"
 

 
 

—Said by a "genius" Shane Dawson fan protecting his hero.

Shane is JEALOUS! "The Lost Episode"

Jennette McCurdy and WHATTHEBUCK had a drama when Jennette McCurdy stopped following him (WTB) on Twitter because he was cussing to much and she did not want her fans (who are young kids) to see that. Shane became butthurt and made a vlog bitching and complaining about how celebrities think they are better than everyone else. He has since deleted it, because he is supposedly in the process of getting a show on Nickelodeon.


Shane broke up with his boyfriend

Apparently Shane broke up with his buttbuddy and wants everybody to believe he's not gay now or some shit, might have also to do with his Nickelodeon shit that he doesn't want people to know he's a faggot anymore.

Because as we all know, Shane needs money and fanboy jizz like a diabetes patient needs his insulin.

See Also

External Links

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