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Shay

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Shay was a mentally retarded, bed-shitting 500lb tub of lard who stirred up a lot of drama on the internet by being fat, smelly, ugly, (and eventually dead). Not much is known about Shay, except that it was yet was another victim of chronic obesity which eventually led to its death and the burning of the body. The story involved a LiveJournal user by the name of Lj-favicon.png Shiroioji, who harbored this thing in his house for the longest time until he eventually did the right thing. As you read this article, you'll learn about the life of Shay and its experiences.

Would you let this thing near you?

The Early Years

Shay and Shiroioji met 100 years ago on the interwebs, through a gay/lesbian parenting community she had been very active in. She mostly wrote about raising her son, Shane, as a single lesbian. They talked online actively, until they both acquired cell phones. Often times, while Shay and Shiroioji were on the phone, Shay's son, Shane, would chat with Shiroioji on the computer.

Shay was soon kicked out of her house by her evil grandmother, rumored to be this_is_warmth. She, in the typical fatass style, went from place to place staying with friends, generally being a disgusting burden on everyone. But this did not last long, and she soon asked Shiroioji to stay at his place, and get her bearings. He agreed, thinking he would get some.

Shay: the Friend, the Roommate, the Smell

Upon moving in with Shiroioji, the house started to smell like "dirt and rotting vegtables". This was supposedly due to a hormonal imbalance, "which would mean that she had a bum full of shit that couldn't be wiped". After Shiroioji got in trouble with his landlord he arranged for her to stay with one of his friends, and she would have a job to pay rent. Sounds like a fair arrangement, amirite?

Well, she soon got in trouble with the new landlords as well due to the stink, causing drama in the complex, and being an overall fat burdensome animal.

This is what sparked a chain of events.

The Beginning of the End

Shiroioji received an e-mail from Shay saying that she was going to "do what she had to do", and then an e-mail from her son, saying she was going to hurt herself, so he called 911. Upon arriving to her house, they found she had downed a bottle of Valerian root, and arrested her, although nobody could figure out how they got handcuffs around her basketball wrists. Later, Shiroioji called her father.

Tl;dr, her father is actually her step father, and she has no son. Shane was just Shay pretending to be a boy. None of the friends she's ever stayed with have met him. The reason for this is because he died soon after birth, being too small. Her body was so gluttonous that it actually denied the boy nutrients in the womb. As Shiroioji wrote, she "took the fun out of dysfunction".

SO, back to the real reason we're here. She left Statik's place a mess. So, Shay being Shiroioji's friend first, he went to help.

Basically, it went like this: menstrual blood, shit stains EVERYWHERE, one duffel bag full of food trash and more shit, another duffel bag containing two 2-litre bottles of urine and assorted waste. The bed sheets were stuck together with diarrhea dried between them. Apparently she has slept in this for several days. If a professional cleaning crew was called to make a budget, it would have probably amounted to at least $9,001.

Home Jenkem Factory

The new found drug Jenkem prompted officials to research Shay from the evidence of bottles filled with collected Jenkem. It turns out that Shay forced herself to have diarrhea so she could mass produce Jenkem. She would then go to the middle school nearest her and sell the Jenkem for $10 dollars a dose. The police caught on but it was too late...

 
 
hay shay how is ur new home i bet every1 there thinks ur the shit
 

 

—parodyofanangel

Death

NEVAR FORGET!!!

Shortly afterwords, Shay shit the bed, figuratively this time. She was found dead on the floor near a multitude of candy wrappers. She died from diabetic overdrive or some shit, which is Latin for eating yourself to death because you're a damn fatass. No one was sorry. They decided to burn her body like they would any dead mule, but the fire lasted so long from burning off the fats that the apartment complex caught fire (damn, amirite?).

See Also

External Links

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An Heroes

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Failures

Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBob8466Brandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDennis AvnerDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonImma-The-DeerJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJustin-anonKatelyn Nicole DavisKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKimveer GillKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMichael RyanMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Otoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffPhoebe ConnopQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonScout SchultzSebastian BosseShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffSteve StephensStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTiziana CantoneTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIXallyfacex

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

Shay is part of a series on Dying Alone

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Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJerry LewisJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVester Flanagan

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAngry GrandpaAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarAnthony ToneyApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxAriana GrandeArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGangster BluGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rilliniguy34Imma-The-DeerInkBunnyJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMatrooko11MaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMichael The GoAnimate GuyMike SandymindoutofsyncMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRebecca SugarRedheadXilamGuyRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSolidMarioSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

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Featured article February 25, 2007
Preceded by
I'm so confused
Shay Succeeded by
The Wikipedia Review