Sickipedia

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So Michael Jackson, Jade Goody, Maddie McCann and a Paki walk into a joke website for unfunny Britfags...

Sickipedia.org is a website dedicated to providing sick fucks - specifically, sick Britfags - with humor (sorry, humour) based around rape, beating kids, racism and tragedy. In other words, it's probably right up your alley.

Despite calling itself the "Sick Joke Wiki", it's not really a wiki, but it does provide a nice, clean interface for submitting jokes, voting them up or down, and then spending some time perusing the fucked-up topic of your choice (i.e. 9/11 JOKES ANYONE? [1]) When the site's good, it's good - feel free to read over the endless pages of top-rated jokes, skip over all the shit about D-list British celebrities, and you'll probably at least find a few hilarious new black person jokes for your next cocktail party or church dinner.

Despite the impressive amounts of win, the site is not without its flaws. For one, the site's servers are actually made from spare parts from Soviet-era Eastern European calculators held together by duct tape and semen - in other words, half the time you visit the site you'll get a timeout error, and when it is running it's slow as fuck. On top of that, a surprising amount of Britfags are painfully unfunny - fads are run into the ground, jokes are duplicated, people edit each other's jokes just to shit on them, whiny fags vote down everything they see, and anything non-British gets fucked. If you can get over that, you're good to go!

The Site[edit]

Sickipedia was originally an offshoot of b3ta, designed as a voteable compendium of that site's sickest jokes. Eventually the site grew to include a huge number of jokes, a fairly active forum, and a book compilation available on Amazon.

Memes[edit]

Typical Sickipedian.

Thanks to the "Highest-rated jokes of all time" category on the front page, the site's legendary jokes are preserved for eternity and therefore are familiar to all Sickipedians. Anyone looking to cash in on some cheap votes can therefore twist those classic jokes slightly to fit in with other themes or current events, either creating lulz or unfunny bandwagons in the process. Sickipedia memes account for about half the new jokes on the website, so please, for the love of fuck be original and post your own jokes.

Jade Goody[edit]

Note: if you aren't British, file all of this under shit nobody cares about.

Jade Goody was a Big Brother contestant, she said racist shit, she died of cunt cancer. That's pretty much all you need to know. On the day that Jade died, Sickipedia was flooded with so many kids posting their HILARIOUS, EDGY JOKES that the site crashed. In general, if you notice the site is running extremely slow, you might want to check if a Z-list British reality TV celebrity just died. In any case, some of the Jade jokes are good, others are just bandwagon shit, you are advised to tread carefully.

9/11[edit]

Sickipedians hate Americans with a fucking passion. Don't even bother posting a joke with American content or even Americans spelling, within about 3 minutes your joke will be voted down to -10, a shit-editing teenager will vandalize "FAWK UFF, YANKZ" on the bottom of your joke and admins will delete it. However, that anti-Americanness pays off when you're looking for jokes about a topic most Americans are afraid to joke about: 9/11! The site's 9/11 repository has some true classics.

Sample joke: "A" is the 1st letter of the alphabet and "H" is the 8th letter, right? 9/11 = 0.81818181 = HAHAHAHA

Gold.

Pedophilia[edit]

Good sir, might I interest you in a ribald joke about how I raped Madeleine McCann?

Sickipedians have a lot in common with /b/tards and EDiots, and their userbases probably overlap quite a bit in Jolly Britannia, so it's good to see that Sickipedia shares our fine art of finding humour in beating, fucking, and kidnapping minors. Alongside all those Michael Jackson jokes you probably heard 10 years ago, they've got all the fresh jokes about Joseph Fritzl (Putting the "semen" back into "basement"), missing British girl Maddie McCann (Has anyone else noticed that "Maddie" is an anagram of "I'm dead"?) and Gary Glitter (What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.).

Taking a shit[edit]

A bandwagon joke that was driven into the ground a long time ago. These jokes start with the line "You know it was a good shit when..." and are usually thought up by Sickipedians while taking massive dumps. Sample endings: "...you come back and your screensaver's on", "... Madonna tries to adopt it", "... it becomes President of the United States", etc.

Tragedy[edit]

Was there a tragedy today? Better yet, was it just minutes ago? Are people still heartbroken? Quick, strike while the emotional wound is fresh with a sick, fucked up joke! Timeliness is one of Sickipedia's greatest strengths - if corpses are still warm somewhere in the world, some 15-year-old in suburban London is currently submitting a joke about them to Sickipedia. Remember the formula: Comedy = Tragedy + Recency

Liam Gill[edit]

One of Sickipedia's greatest moments was following the death of Liam Gill, a teenager in Liverpool who thought it would be a bright idea to climb onto a train at the station, touch some electrical wires and be fried to death like black person with 25,000 volts. Something about this story moment sparked (SPARKED, GET IT!) the imagination of Sickipedians. First of all, a note to Americans - Liverpool residents ("Scousers") are pretty much the scum of England, so making fun of them is already the norm. Secondly, this whole Liam Gill thing would have probably blown over, but much to everyone's delight, Liam's friends and schoolmates started flooding the site with OUTRAGE over these SICK HUMAN BEINGS, including a Facebook group to have Sickipedia shut down. Of course, trolls will be trolls, so the Liam jokes on the site ballooned - at the time of writing, there are well over 800 Liam Gill jokes on the site, ranging from witty to unfunny. Do the world a favour and stop adding Liam jokes, the humour's as dead as his sizzled corpse. And I went on his tribute page on FaceBook and told most of them. I didn't even know scousers could understand them, let alone articulate a death threat.

Americans[edit]

America, according to Sickipedia

Americans are fat. Americans are dumb. Run with either of those two themes and watch your joke's score explode like the World Trade Center. For a while, shitty American jokes were becoming so widespread and stale that moderators were deleting them the moment they were submitted.

Francesca Anobile[edit]

Francesca Anobile was a sweet, fresh faced 16 year old girl from Sheffield, UK. One frosty morning she and her friends decided to go sledding down the local hill. Everything was fine and dandy until Francesca stupidly didn't stop herself from hitting a fence which she smashed threw only to land into another fence of barbed wire. She was shortly airlifted to hospital and died a painless horrifically painful death. A textbook Sickipedian situation unfolded. The Tradegy equation caused a few good and a lot of shit jokes. At which point her family and friends began a campaign against Sickipedians... sound familiar? This caused more, mostly crap, jokes to come out. Francesca went on to win Sickipedia's "Daftest Cunt" award.

Library Jokes[edit]

The second-highest joke of all time is the following:

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

The basic format of that joke can be twisted to match any theme or recent event, making the Library Jokes one of the site's most played-out jokes.

Mock The Week[edit]

Mock The Week's a British TV show. Sickipedia accuses the show of stealing all their content from Sickipedia. That's pretty much all you need to know about that.

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