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Simply Sara

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File:SimplySara pleased.jpg
Simply Sara, being beautiful as always.

Simply Sara is the pseudonym of a middle-age, overweight, American (surprise, surprise) woman. Sara has gotten her share of the internet spotlight for her “educational” channel on YouTube that reveals her wonderful recipes to the world. Sara is truly the form of God blessing America with fatty foods that usually range from 6000 to 10,000 calories with absurd amounts of ingredients added -- so absurd that you can even have a heart attack just by looking at the item list itself!


   
 
An extremely obese woman named "Simply Sara" who has a series of videos on YouTube that show her making unhealthy meals.
 

 
 

—Ester Goldberg, .

Her videos have been shared on various forums; such message boards include IGN and Bodybuilding. Being passed around from message board to message board, her videos have skyrocketed and more people watched in horror as she gobbles up her creations. Perhaps the only thing Sara is useful for is to act as a model of what lifestyle to avoid.

Chef Extraordinaire

File:Simply sara.jpg
Before and after consuming another 8,000 calorie meal of delicious fat.

Sara popped up on YouTube on June 12th, 2009. This is the very first sighting of Sara, for no info of her pre or post-YouTube era has been found to this day. On the same day she registered she uploaded all seven of her videos with, unsurprisingly, comments disabled. Among all of her videos, her most infamous video that has earned her a nice spot on the “Top 20 Internet Losers” list was her recipe of Wanda’s Macaroni Salad.

The original video of Sara making 'Wanda's Macaroni Salad'.



   
 
And a pint of real mayonnaise.
 

 
 

—Sara

This very video has disgusted people from around teh webs who have stumbled on it. This “salad” consists of thick layers of mayonnaise, sugar, condensed milk and much, much more. The only healthy part of the macaroni was the delicate sprinkles of celery, green pepper and carrots. Like how scientists and political douchebags enjoy spreading their word of discoveries to the ignorant people of the world, Sara follows in their footsteps by showing off her tutorials for making heart attacks on a plate. Unlike scientists’ (or even political-fags) discoveries, Sara’s teachings only harm the visitor as they watch her cook in disgust. Honestly, it wouldn't be a shock to any if she worked at McDonald's during some point in her life from the cooking she comes up with.

This video was annotated with the calorie and fat value of her ingredients thus having her audience's jaws drop at shocking numbers. It should be noted that the average calorie intake ranges from 1000 to 2500 calories depending on a person's height, weight and activity. It is unknown if Sara actually eats alone or actually shares with her unseen cameraman. It is a mystery~

The woman herself

Despite her videos being completely public, Sara herself is a complete mystery to the internet: no dox, no general location, and no powerword. Sara had popped up on YouTube, submitted all of her videos in one day and left right after that; no traces were left behind. Of course, those videos were filmed on different days. However, what is known is that she is completely housebound with her weight being the factor. Additionally, she is not living alone because her cameraman is most likely to be a relative or child that is living with her.

Simply Sara before devouring her three friends.

The following is a list of what is theorized to have happened to Sara:

You are what you eat

The equivalent of eating one of Sara's meals.

Some are claiming Simply Sara has passed on to the other side which is frankly surprising considering her healthy and active lifestyle. I mean, she is breathing pretty hard after stirring that mayonnaise for 8 seconds. This kind of lifestyle usually leads to a long, productive life without any problems. If it's true, and she is dead, the world has lost a great chef. The following is a breakdown of her famous macaroni salad. HNGGGGGG:

  • Celery: 5 calories
  • Green Pepper 30 calories
  • Carrot: 30 calories
  • Large onion: 45 calories
  • Cup of white vinegar: Approximately 40 calories
  • Cup of sugar: 1,000 calories
  • Can of sweetened condensed milk: 1,300 calories
    • 30 grams of fat
  • Pound of macaroni: 1,600 calories
    • 8 grams of fat
  • Jar of Mayonnaise: 3,000 calories
    • 320 grams of fat
  • Dying because you ate entire jars of mayonnaise: Priceless...

More of Sara's Magic

File:Simply sara seealso.jpg
Related videos are definitely related.
File:Simplysara 3dexperience.PNG
Her YT channel description tells it like it is.

Picture of pure health
  • Citrus Herb Roast
  • Hot Water Sponge Cake
  • Pomodoro Pasta
  • Taco Cups


   
 
using the wheat pasta your body digests a lot more, you'll feel fuller, you'll carry out a lot longer and it has a lot more nutrition than regular pasta
 

 
 

—Sara giving "healthy eating advice"

Responses

   
 
this video is giving me diabetes
 

 
 

—THUNDERPUSSY

   
 
As I said yesterday, SILMPY SARA is a vore fetishist's wet dream.
 

 
 

Kitties

   
 
i am glad that so many obese people are republicans and their stance against healthcarereform will eventually cause their deaths as they won't be able to get treated for being such fatfucks. Icannot wait till all the fat people in America are gone, then they won't ruining my view with their horrid flabs of flesh.
 

 
 

Dr. Rice

   
 
i was gonna say what does a macroni salad video have to do with vore - then i clicked the video
 

 
 

Broken pipe

   
 
This is why chefs should be festively plump. If they're skinny, they don't like food, and their tastes are not to be trusted. If they're obese, they like food too much, and their tastes are not to be trusted. However, a slightly fat guy likes food a lot, but doesn't consume anything and everything put in front of him.
 

 
 

—Smellvin

   
 
It is completely normal to get a boner while watching Simply Sara.
 

 
 

SkittlesInHD

   
 
This piece of work from Simply Sara looks perfect for a school snack for your children!
 

 
 

—Charolsxd

   
 
She forgot to add butter to this concoction.
 

 
 

—Scarletdragonfly


Upon watching these videos, a YouTard sent her a message telling her that she should change her lifestyle and this is how she responded.


   
 
you must be a miserable stereotype 'rack of bones', so i'm guessing you're single or in an unhappy marriage. my husband loves me just the way i am. i'm guessing you're lazy cause hard working people wouldn't use so little free time responding to youtube videos, only to those who, like yourself, use the precious time that God has given you to write such nasty hate mail. america ranks the second most obese nation in the world. if you don't like that, maybe you should defect to a starving country, or lose the drug habit and get some fat on those skinny bones of yours. more than half the food network chefs are fat, so maybe these cooking shows aren't for you?
 

 
 

Gallery

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See Also

External Links

Apple.jpg
Simply Sara
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

[BleurghOm Nom Nom]

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Simply Sara is part of a series on YouTube.

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Featured article November 7, 2010
Preceded by
ChadSyphrett
Simply Sara Succeeded by
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger