Skype

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MOAR
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Common ground

Skype is a troll's best friend. It allows one to call anyone in his own country for a monthly fee and there's no way of tracing it... sort of. Skype is the most useful tool ever for prank calls and, more importantly, harassing pedos. Now thar skype is owned by Satan Microsoft, it is utilized as a vital tool for feds logging your conversations.

How Do I Skype?[edit]

1. Click "+New" button.
2. Type in contact name.
3. Request to be added to contacts.
4. ???
5. PROFIT!

Chatting on Skype[edit]

Hi, Mom!! I just leveled up on WoW!!


Skype tends to be totally populated with random Chinese women who passionately desire friendship, and in order achieve said aim take to messaging unsuspecting persons incessantly as soon as one logs on. A simple solution to this problem may be applied as follows:

[21:09:04] Harmony 12 says: Hello..
[21:09:36] Pepe says:       Hi.. asl
[21:10:02] Harmony 12 says: i am 23 f Im from china..
[21:10:50] Pepe says:       are you naked on cam on demand??
[21:11:43] Harmony 12 says: what you do mean.. i do not know cam
[21:12:09] Pepe says:       I mean will you get naked and show us your tits on a webcam when I ask
[21:14:34] Harmony 12 says: no I dont dirty chat
[21:14:42] Pepe says:       BYE


In addition to the friendship seekers, we also have the real "a/s/l" seekers, cam perverts, and general retards. Say you're female in your profile and watch the lulz come rolling in. The chats and casts are equally as easy to troll if you do it right.

Skypecast[edit]

Skypecast provides a free voice conferencing service, whereby the rooms are open to all Skype users to join.

Skypecast exists solely for the lulz; no other medium in the history of the internets has been so poorly engineered as to be as trollable as Skypecast. Like IRC, Skypecasts have moderators and the moderators control who can speak; however, there is no way to discern which users are talking at any given time, and moderators do not have the ability to kick users out of the room. As a result, any session with more than five users quickly becomes unmanageable, and the moderators have to figure out which of the users is playing recordings from Hitler rallies by trial-and-error. Experienced Skypecast trolls wait a random amount of time before the troll activation.

Successfully removing such distractions adds little to the actual value of the conversation. Most Skypecast conversations centre around different accents, the weather, time zones, and other such inanity that makes apparent the folly of Internet Humanitarianism; regardless of the potential good that could be accomplished through the application of new technologies to old social problems, such opportunities are impotently and irretrievably squandered, whereby such technologies end up actually detracting from humanity.

Skypecast Trolling PROTIPS[edit]

  • Wait until the moderator has added at least two other participants, after being added yourself, start trolling.
  • Play religious AM Radio.
  • Formulaic American versus Eurofag and Canadafag trolls are super-effective.
  • If you and another friend speak some other moonspeak language, join a Skypecast together and hold a side conversation in it.

Sadly, the Skypecast feature was deleted on September 1, 2008 due to "problems" with the service. Many "broadcasters" bawwwed.

Free Calls on Skype[edit]

You can call mobile phones or old telephones using Skype. Although this costs money, every account has one free trial call. Just create a new account once you've used your free call.

Simply just doesn't work this way, sorry! Creating & deleting & creating... Is pointless! When you download a demo (SHAREWARE) version of any worth while software in distribution on the internets, several files are downloaded on REGEDIT (Registry editor) and this is way the above comment is WRONG, unless of course you enjoy wiping your computer clean and rebooting it. Key registers are added to your REGEDIT everytime you download shareware, sorry. To get deep enough into your computer to change this, just go to start, then go to run, and type in regedit. Now if you really wanted to re-install your software over and over just to place one call then you will have to go in here and find the appropriate registry keys and delete them. Of course if you delete the wrong one you could be visited by the blue screen of death. So another option is to then consider downloading a Registry cleaner (good luck). If your lucky you will find a good freeware version that is virus free (just don't hold your breath). Possibly the best way is downloading a process monitor. This will just watch every move made by any software that is being downloaded on your computer. Then all those hard to find files will be in a nice neat pile that you can delete. Of course if you have already downloaded the software this will not work.

HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT VIRTUAL MACHINES

1-800-GOOG-411 1-800-BING-411[edit]

The only use for this is ordering some pizza, making prank calls, or calling a friend that should otherwise be working. Just download Skype for free, call 1800goog411, scream the city and state into your microphone a few times or until Microsoft Sam gets it right, connect with any business you wish to annoy, ?????, profit!

In November 2010 call 1800goog411 was shut down. Forcing everyone to now call 1800bing411. Only difference is Microsoft Anna does all the talking and it is less user-friendly then 1800goog411, But it does the job.

VOIP[edit]

Now finally we come to our last option, if you really need to call your mommy that bad you can always find a way. This direction is just as shitty as any of them but it however will work. Google voip services, find one with free 5 min. phone calls, download it. Icall is one service that allows indefinite 4 min 20 sec. phone calls given you can handle the 40 sec. audio commercial at the beginning of each phone call.



Skype's Closed due to supernodes[edit]

Skypesclosed2010.jpg
UH OH.

On December 22, 2010, Skype decided that it's users had been naughty so their early Christmas present to their millions of users was a generous spate of of downtime that suddenly occurred. Suffice to say, reactions were mixed, ranging from WTF IS WRONG WITH MY COMPUTER????? to just downright BAWWWW.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Tweetseverywhereskype.png

After the massive outcry of Skype users unable to voice chat with their e-pals, Skype decided to respond with the following:

 
 
Under normal circumstances, there are a large number of supernodes available. Unfortunately, today, many of them were taken offline by a problem affecting some versions of Skype. As Skype relies on being able to maintain contact with supernodes, it may appear offline for some of you.

What are we doing to help? Our engineers are creating new 'mega-supernodes' as fast as they can, which should gradually return things to normal. This may take a few hours, and we sincerely apologise for the disruption to your conversations. Some features, like group video calling, may take longer to return to normal.
 


 

—Skype team explaining shit, SRSLY

Related Articles[edit]

External Links[edit]


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Skype is part of a series on Language & Communication
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