Solid Snake's Ass

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Snake's Ass in Final Boss form

Solid Snake's Ass is a paean to virility and the perfect human form that was created at the shrine of GameFAQs by disciples of the way of Second Life and the pantheon of Super Smash Bros. The offering usually made consists of a picture of Solid Snake's ass (what else?), with a caption highlighting the disciple's understanding of Solid Snake's deification among the Gods of Physical Perfection. Enlightment is supposed to be found in the glorious tone of the genetically engineered secret agent's statuesque glutes. They are very firm, supple and round and are only accentuated by his tight Sneaking Suit, which pulls across his gluteal cleft in such a way as to define the individual buttocks very clearly. The Sneaking Suit is designed to help Snake sneak into tight spaces, so it has to hold his flesh tight and be slippery. As such, it's so close to his skin that it's like wearing nothing at all. Looking at Solid Snake's ass through his Sneaking Suit is better than looking at his ass naked. The Suit conceals the hair and stench that naturally accompanies any man's ass, further bringing Solid Snake's ass above the standard and into the realm of Olympian asses. The Sneaking Suit is ideal for ass perfection.

The musculature of Solid Snake's ass allows him to engage in feats of isometric exercise, like wedging himself in the corner between the wall and ceiling using only his glutes. He could probably climb a fireman's pole using his asscheeks alone if he wanted.


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