Sophie Lancaster

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Information icon.png The dumb bitch's parents seem to have had their butts hurt, read about it here.


Asked for it. Clearly

Sophie Lancaster was a 20 year old goth from the UK (More specifically Bacup famed for it's inbreeding) who was pwned by a group of chavs for being a goth. She along with her equally emo boyfriend were attacked on August 11th 2007. Reports say the attack was unprovoked but as with all 'alternative' weirdos, "they were obviously asking for it". The whole saga prompted the goth/emo/whatever community into standing up for themselves against unjust oppression claiming "U DONT UNDERSTAND!!!111ONEELEVEN1".

Nobody cared.

One of these is a male. Which one? You decide.


The Attack

On the night of 11th August 2007, Sophie and her boyfriend Robert Maltby were walking through a park, probably on their way to a graveyard or wherever goths go to cry these days. Whilst they were walking, Ryan Herbert and Brendan Harris, a pair of chavs dole monkeys approached Maltby, asked him "U WOT M8?" and proceeded to ruin his night. Like most chavs, the attackers were complete cowards. Unfortunately, Maltby's woman was also a emo/goth (as well as being a woman), and as such was quickly dispatched as well. For her crime of getting involved with men enacting SERIOUS BUSINESS she bore the brunt of the attack and was duly, and fairly, curb stomped. Soon after, a moralfag informed the emergency services.

Upon finding Sophie the paramedics noted that in her state of rape, they didn't know whether she was a man or woman. The world failed to note what was abnormal about this.

After the attack she was taken to hospital, where natural selection ended what the chavs had started.

A series of tubes.

Postgame drama

After the pwning, the old media collectively shit themselves because kids attacking each other is unheard of, right? The Sun, Daily Fail, and The Express were even moar surprised when they found out that good British kids were beating the shit out of themselves instead of immigrants and Muslims. The more 'alternative' members of the UK population cried persecution, and bitched about how people shouldn't judge the on their looks while claiming all chavs are evil and violent, while the likes of Kerrang! magazine ran countless pointless articles about how goths are people too. It should be noted that the intensely small inbred community of Rossendale also peer pressured many people into caring when they didn't, and even now the attention whoring mother appears in the Rossendale free press all of the time, BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY INTERESTING THING TO HAPPEN EVER, furthering the case for the incident being overall beneficial to the area. The media, as usual, continues to troll the area, with over 56 separate front page dedications to this "tale of human cruelty and ignorance". It's devolved into a low budget version of Diana with white trash.

The heroes who performed this service to society were tried and convicted of murder, and given over 9000 years imprisonment. They are currently appealing on the grounds that in reality they did the world a favour, and should be knighted rather than locked up with bubba.


Emos stop cutting themselves long enough to 'care' about people other than themselves. Also, lol "stamp out"

Proud to be different Campaign

Bizarre magazine launched their 'Proud to be different' campaign to highlight the fact that goths and other morons have emotions other than butthurt and angst, inspired by Sophie's death. For those who don't know, Bizarre is a fap mag for camwhores and freaks who try to outdo each other by making public their fantasies about being sodomised by the corpse of Bill Hicks while dressed in bondage gear or some other lame shit.

Their official website contains many of these people BAAAAAWWWWWWWWing because the world doesn't like them. This is inherently funny.

 
 
Every day I would have things thrown at me, ranging from food, to stationary, to bricks.
 

 

—Chav evolution documented via the gradual advancement of their tools.

 
 
When will the madness stop though?
 

 

—Sparta gets involved.

 
 
One of my friends was set uppon by these "chavs" about 3 months ago. 7 vs 1. not exactly fair! when we found out about 20 of us went and found them, surrounded them but did nothing.
 

 

—Proof goths are walking vaginas.

Jewtube Faggotry


Oh, cool! Star Wars! Huh? What's this shit?

TL;DR

Goth got stomped. BAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!111

You Maaaad, You Maaad.

LOL, Deleted

Recently, a growing number of concerned netizens have tried to blank this article. It is recomended that these people lurk moar and pay attention to the internets. If you come across one of these dick-splashes, feel free to offer advice.

Goths Have Their Say

ED's advice to those who amongst the goth fraternity who might be upset.
 
 
The only offensive things about that article are its workmanlike penmanship and total lack of humour.
 

 

—Butthurt goth being butthurt because he didn't think to write this article first.

 
 
Do us a favour and go f*ck yourself. This is a memorial page dedicated to a beautiful girl who was brutally murdered by morons like you. You're a f*cking retard, FYI her friends and boyfriend have facebook accounts – what if they see the shit you've posted here?
 

 

—Goth doesn't know when to stop typing

 
 
ur such a dick face omg
 

 

—I thought goths were supposed to be eloquent

 
 
u think this is funny? look at the picture of this girl.. look how bad she is hurt..what happend if that was ur sister ?........some people dont think ppl should be different thats ok but kiilling someone for it is pathatic
 

 

—LOL, Goths

 
 
To whoever made this entry. It is sick. You have no consideration for the family and friends of the poor girl who died. Regardless to what she looks like she was still human and if you don't have enough sense to see that then I hope someone comes after you.
 

 

—The goth who vandalised this article clearly doesn't understand irony or hypocrisy.

 
 
i'm completly disgusted with this. someone posted it on sophies memorial group.

after reading this please look at 'asking for it' this is the chavs idea of what women are for!!!!!
 


 

—ED. Chav haven. Apparently.

 
 
who ever wrote this page in the first place is a dick.

plus because they cant spell anything they must be illiterate.
 


 

—dannyboy, who blanked this page and posted this in its place. Lol, reverted.

 
 
i can do this all day.
 

 

—dannyboy, again. Before giving up.

In the news

In 2011, some shitty news site decided to run a spot on this article, showing that her (alleged) "friends" are still severely hurt in the butt about the loss of this two-bit crackwhore.

   
 
But after learning of the site, Darwen and Rossendale MP Jake Berry said he would lobby the Minister for Culture, Media and Sport Jeremy Hunt to extend powers to tackle hate websites.


 


 
 

—Team UK: World Police

   
 
“It is absolutely disgusting. It’s a horrible, horrible website that is deeply offensive."


 


 
 

—Silvia, Sophie's mother, flattering us.

   
 
"We’ve tried to have internet experts get it closed down, but haven’t had any success."


 


 
 

—Have you tried contacting VampiricSpektor?

However, a thorough investigation reveals that her parents are so devastated by ED because they were in fact the ones to take her life, and feel the site is disrespecting their noble actions by giving the credit and honor away to some random punks. Not to fear, Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster, we will do our best to spread the word of you doing God's work by removing this scumbag from the face of the Earth.

See also

In the tubes

I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
Sophie Lancaster is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

Perverts

Don HenrieJerry from Doomsday Refreshment CommitteeJonathon The InhalerLustiferaMichelle BelangerRyle Garamonde

Pussies

Brittany HolechkoDimmuborgiressIckeriss69KurtBatzLarathenMatt CrimminsMissHannahMinxMsUmlautNeil GaimanNickolausPaulie CalafioreSinnSophie LancasterSuccubbusTrent Reznor

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Anal CuntThe CureDoomsday Refreshment CommitteeDr. SteelDream TheaterEmilie AutumnThe GorillazInsane Clown PosseKoRnLinkin ParkNINNirvanaSlipknotTool

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Featured article October 18, 2011 & October 19, 2011
Preceded by
Christian Spanking Blogs
Sophie Lancaster Succeeded by
Bryci