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Spain, a.k.a. Dagoland, Mexico. or more obviously Europe's backyard, is a heathen country located between Morocco and France. Naturally, it has the shortcomings of both and the virtues of neither. Spain has a rich history of raping and pillaging other countries in lieu of nurturing its own populace. Under the rule of a German emperor, it once owned half the world and is responsible for unleashing the plagues known as Filipinos and Mexicans upon humanity. They are best known for their uncanny ability to stick their cock in anyone or anything, no matter how repulsive (Aztecs, Gooks, Niggers, kangaroos and assorted other colored peoples in particular). Ironically, Spain's relative poverty has resulted in its only positive attribute, as an enormous number of seeders for torrents are of Spanish origin, Olé!.
"Espain", as progressive and Internets-savvy Spaniards prefer to call it, was pwnd by the Romans for a tedious epoch, then raped by the Moors for another six centuries before finding Jesus and sweeping the Kingdom free of Jews during an era of great justice known as the Spanish Inquisition. This simple act of good sense transformed Spain from a backwater shitbox into the superpower of the 1500s, leaving the nation Judenfrei and able to focus on other things, like pwning Caribbean tribes and stealing their loot.
Christopher Columbus was Spanish (a Jew in disguise) and in 1492 helped to discover America, which is lulzy now that the descendants of Spanish colonists are being pushed out of the U.S. all the time or called Mexicans, which seriously pisses them off. Many of these so-called "light-skinned" or "mixed race Indigenous people of South or Central America" nurture socially unacceptable feelings regarding Spain's colonial past, believing that the Spaniards destroyed their cultural heritage. What they do not understand is that they are the descendants of those sexually uninhibited ex-cons, not the ones currently living in that backwater peninsula.
In 1496, just after Columbus had (re-)discovered American, Spain's royal family began a game of incest that lasted for two centuries and produced some of the fugliest retards ever to wear a crown.
Later, Spain was humiliated by the loss of its great Armada to England (it was actually just windy weather and the Danish). It was then pwned by Theodore Roosevelt and the Rough Riders, who conquered all of Cuba and Puerto Rico, and even acquired the Philippines as an added (albeit unwanted) bonus.
In the turmoil that followed, Espáin was flooded by anarchists, commies, punks, hippies, drug addicts and leftards. As these disparate groups of subhumans were unable to agree on anything - especially how to rule a country - a group of generals planned a coup d'état against the ruling Popular Front government to pwn the faggots. A young and promising general named Francisco Franco had made a name for himself by killing Arabs in Morocco (then a Espánis colony). Looking north and east, Franco thought that the Nazis looked sexy in their SS uniforms and Mussolini seemed a pretty cool guy. In fact, the future dictator had photographs of both Fascist leaders on his desk, to which he surely fapped.
A civil war ensued that lasted three years, because ammunition had to be transported on donkeys. The most difficult objective for Franco during the war was that of buttraping the Catalans (a.k.a. the surviving Jews of Espáin) because they'd been amassing armies by paying commie Americunts. Ultimately, the commies backstabbed the anarchists, who were too busy smoking weed and dealing meth to fight a proper war. Then almighty Franco crossed the Ebro river and captured the flag.
Franco styled himself Generalissimo, to boost his self-esteem and draw attention away from his height of five feet nothing. In WW2, Hitler encouraged him to join the Axis and rape the Brits in Gibraltar. Despite the Führer's offering of the Iron Cross and the opportunity to pwn British ass, Franco's political sense prevailed, and he declined. He knew that the Soviets and Americunts were going to be eating Aryan BBQ soon. After the war, he asked Eisenhower to join him in a gay orgy. From this, the U.S. obtained the right to set up some bases on Espánis soil and accidentally dump nuclear armament into the sea.
The Spanish government has been getting trolled by the ETA, a Basque separatist terrorist group, since last Thursday. Lacking their own country, the Basque people have experienced extreme butthurt and have thus decided to kill as many Spanish officials as possible for the lulz. This is typically done with explosives, and/or fire. Because the ETA took Computer Science III, the Spanish government was forced to deploy the Civil Guard to the Basque country in order to prevent any attacks. As is evident by the fisting that the Spanish government has received at the hands of the ETA, this wasn't an effective strategy. Finally the ETA got tired of murdering and gave up arms in favour of bestiality orgies.
Spanish people have lived in poverty as a penance for God ridding them of their Muslim and Jew problem, though He has frowned upon their recent sin by not only allowing said subhumans to gradually return, but also the various monstrosities they produced overseas.
Born sadists, Spaniards are known for stealing the possessions of drunk tourists in bars, especially leather jackets and other animal-skin products. They are also renowned for sex, which they have regularly with everything, sometimes in heterosexual relationships and occasionally between consenting adults. About 90% are hairy furries and admire pedobear as a national hero; the rest are circus midgets. The average Spanish person has the IQ of a chair and smells just as much like ass.
With all the poverty Spain is experiencing one would think they would be able to establish some homegrown organized crime, but instead most of the poor, underfed, dehydrated Spaniards spend their living days being scared shitless of a bunch of drug dealers, pimps, gangsters and social terrorists known as the inevitable Spics, Berbers (who are basically the Spics of Africa), Dominicans (who are basically the Nigger-version of Spics), Georgians (the Spics of the long gone Soviet Union...even though 80% of the inhabitants of the ex-Soviet Union could be qualified as Spics), Southern Italians (the Spics of Italy) and English that emerged from the crime- and feces-ridden shitholes they call East End London, Liverpool and Manchester (who could also be qualified as Spics in their home country).
The annual Running of the Bulls is held every July in Pamplona, in which angry bovine are released into the streets where people get gored and trampled for the lulz. Dagos are well brown nosers because the king.
- Charlie Sheen
- Enrique Iglesias
- Hernan Cortes
- Inigo Montoya
- José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero
- Pablo Picasso
- Salvador Dali
How the Dago Took Over the "New" World Summarized
- When encountering a Spaniard, say that you thought he was a Maghrebinian.
- Inform them that Portugal has a better ED article.
- Say them that they are Arabs and Berbers and not white.
- Ask them to perform a flamenco dance for you or teach you how to make paella.
- Ask them where all the mariachi street bands are.
- Ask them about their
5925 percent unemployment rate.
- Remind them that they are a country filled with "momma's boys" who don't live on their own until they're 30.
- Remind them of how dirty Isabella and Ferdinand treated the Jews. (how is this trolling them?)
- Remind them how the Iberian Peninsula's IQ dropped 20 points when they pushed the Jews out.
- Remind them that they are psychotic barbarians who torture and kill animals for sheer entertainment.
- Says Spanish Inquisición (very important in their culture) seems strangely Islam.
- Says Spanish females pretends that his voice seeking seem like the American wimminz, and that leaves them as cheap prostitutes.
- Tell them the Spanish language is originally from Mexico.
- When asked about Spain, say: "Oh yes, it's near Mexico, isn't it?"
- Refer to all Spaniards as Spics.
- Remembers the Portugueses are not ugly, shorts, fats, hairy or niggers like them
- The moment they tell you Spain is in Europe, say, "Ah, you mean the one near Morocco?"
- When discussing the big territories of defunct Spanish Empire, remind them how shitty their country is now.
- Tell them that
SpainAl-Andalus is once again under Muslim rule.
- Tell them that Islam is the largest religion in Spain.
- Explain to them how you watched a documentary about starving people in Spain on the National Geographic Channel.
- Constantly mention how much better France is compared to Spain at the same time to question the UN's data on its "highly developed" constantly asking you UN obtains these data.
- Discuss their defeat by Switzerland in the 2010 FIFA World Cup.
- Constantly ask yourself where is Spain.
- Remind them how they once lost a soccer game to the Americans, despite being the number-one ranked team in the world.
- Explain to them that the Basque were there first and are the only true Spaniards.
- If the target happens to be Basque, inform them that the Basque are essentially Spanish abos and should be treated as such.
- Laughingly remind them that even though they expelled the Arabs 500 years ago, their country is packed full of them nowadays.
- Remember them kindly about Gibraltar (UK naval base in Andalusia used for Royal Navy buttsecks) and their naval pwnage at the hands of the Brits.
- Tell them that the British Navy has ALWAYS been way better than Spain's...
- ...and that the British Empire was larger...
- ...and remind them that Spain got their ass handed to them by Elizabeth I.
- In Valencia, speak Catalan; in Catalonia, speak Valencian; everywhere else, speak English.
- Refers to any Spanish city as "shanty town".
- Speak Spanish in Basque Country and ask why it isn't their first language.
- Tell Spaniards they should all just speak one fucking language (Catalan).
- If the target is a Catalan, tell them Catalan is just a dialect of Spanish.
- Remind them that their language is a cheap knockoff of Esperanto.
- Inquire about bullfighters, saying "toreador" instead of "torero."
- Inform them of how retarded Spain looks for celebrating the Running of the Bull.
- Loudly state that you agree with the bullfighting ban in Catalonia and/or declare yourself an animal rights fag.
- Remind Spaniards of these military facts: their infantry was copied from those of the Germans and Italians; their tanks (Leopards) and infantry rifles are German; their combat aircraft and advanced weapons systems are American.
- Mention how they were pwned by Al-Qaeda in Madrid for supporting Bush's faggotry wars.
- Tell them that Franco admired Hitler, who despised hairy, inferior southern Europeans.
- Smile while reminiscing about how Franco swept hippies, niggers, anarchists, commies, drug addicts, atheists, gypsies, Basques, fags and other social refuse away and gave them proper jobs...
- ...by building his own grave memorial (Valle de los Caidos).
- Draw comparisons between regional tensions in Spain and those which led to the dissolution of former Yugoslavia.
- When they say that Moroccans are Spain's niggers, reply by saying it's because Spain is the crackhouse of Europe.
- Remember them they are almost the only country in the world where (those who are lucky) work until 20:00 thanks to the goddamn siesta (break from 14:00 to 16-17:00)
- Say that you like King Juan Carlos I. and that he was the best King of Spain.
Dago Pride, y, Olé!
Cheek kissing between men in Spain is the most common greeting
The "glorious" Quixote, who do not know more than Educación Técnica's schools' niggas in Mexico
The much respected Queen of Spain. Even the locals of Mexico say that she had sex with all easily when he lived barely there. Notice how the guy of back see her ass
As of 2010
When making an official visit to the U.S., it's always a good idea to let your unsightly daughters express their goth side while posing for a picture with Obama, so that you can regret your decision and ban said picture.
ETA members reading a Computer Science III textbook to plan out their next assault.
Spanish are not white but Arab.
If it were not for this man, Spain had already they had been doomed for years... He's an Argie soccer player
- Political corruption
- El Cid Está Muerto
- La Frikipedia
- Joan Cornellá
- Shit no one cares about
- The Spanish Inquisition