Squirting

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Not to be confused with Golden Showers, squirting or gushing is the pr0n name for the mythical beastie known as the female ejaculation (or cum) which supposedly comes after the equally mythical female orgasm. Some women have the amazing ability to open the floodgates at the moment of climax and either rapidly dump 7-10" of 'rain' on you or your bed during coitus or -with training- projectile spew it in any direction she so desires. This direction is usually at a pr0n movie's cameraman, since being a squirter IRL can lead to a contract and instant fame and fortune in Van Nuys, the pr0n capitol of Murka.

Squirting is also the Australian Minister of Silly lists Stephen Conroy's Public Enemy # 2 (right behind #1: mall breast pics but before #3: cartoon porn) in his current obsession to stick it to the Ozfags Man and also to restrict the Sheilas' from having any fun in the Victorian Australia of today.

Some argue that Conroy's metaphorical boner for squirting (and small titties etc) is because his wife Paula Benson frequently urinates on him in the middle of the night rather than getting up to go to the bathroom because since she's barren after ovarian cancer, he will no longer touch her, much less give her the righteous rogering she deserves in larping games where she formerly played Michael Jackson and he played LAPD.

Fast Facts - squirt is piss[edit]

See main article: here

  • It appears that the majority of laymen believe that something is forcibly squirted (or propelled or extruded), or expelled from the woman's body in orgasm, and should so happen normally, as in the man's case. Finally it is just as certain that such an 'ejaculation' does not take place in many women of sexually normal functions, as that it does take place in others.
  • Muscular contractions of the vagina following orgasm may squeeze out some of the genital secretions, and in a few cases eject them with some force.
  • Videos featuring humans urinating or defecating on each other are illegal in many countries. By claiming squirt movies do not involve piss, the porn industry attempts to side step censorship of the videos or prosecution for their production and distribution. The UK censoring body has declared that it has not seen a single squirt movie that did not involve a chick pissing herself.
  • Supporters of squirting confuse the naturally occurring teaspoon or two of lube a girl produces when turned on with the hundreds of mls of fluid shot out in squirt movies.
  • They also claim that this fluid originates from a mass of spongy tissue lining the urethra. In men, this develops into the prostate, which produces sticky seminal jizzum that is quite unlike the liquid sprayed from every squirting whore, in that the latter looks like piss and jizz does not.
  • Nazi feminists and people not wishing to admit they like the idea of being pissed on routinely state that 'SCIENCE!' has been done on female ejaculate and that it has been demonstrated it's not piss. This is a little known, singular, probably equally piss poor, study conducted by some quack, probably from a herbal healing workshop. They also fail to differentiate between the natural, usually opaque white stuff that leaks out of girls during sex and the water like, yellowy piss that shoots out of their urethra.
  • Short, spiky gel haired feminist who look like boys in blue jean jackets claim that the entire, global, medical profession is involved in a conspiracy to cover up squirting and thus suppress the female's freedom. No autopsy results have revealed a 'second bladder' hidden within women to supply these hundreds of mls of fluid. Neither do they consider what the medical implications would be of having that much fluid trapped inside yourself, providing a safe haven for bacteriological infection, until you 'learned to squirt'. If this fluid were being stored inside the region it's supposed to be coming from and in the volumes claimed by the porn industry, it would be easily detectable by attempting to stick your dick in a girl and finding it wouldn't go in.
  • In their own words, the sensation when having their G-spot tickled produces an intense urge to 'push out' and piss themselves. But you would be 'part of the conspiracy' should you suggest it may be piss. Men will be aware that they do not feel the urge to 'push out' or piss themselves when they cum.
  • Girls never leave nappies. They are born wearing nappies, they upgrade to panty liners and then they go back to adult nappies. This is not only because they essentially never grow up, but they (despite it being in contrast to them claiming to have strong pelvic floor muscles) often piss themselves a little with any form of strong muscle contraction.
  • Girls in the porn industry, as well as the people running it, are well aware that they must do something special to stand out among the trillions of cum guzzler movies and get the drug money in. Squirting is an excellent way to accomplish this as it is taboo and seems new. This is of course harmful to the majority of girls growing up now who will think they are abnormal for not wanting to piss themselves.
  • Fucking a girl with only an inch or two going in will stimulate the G-spot and make them want to get pounded, deep.
  • The most scientifically worthwhile suggestion regarding the G-spot is that it is there in women to help during childbirth. When the baby's head pushes on this nervous tissue, it causes the girl to involuntary 'push out' with the surrounding muscles. Girls commonly shit themselves during childbirth with the combination of abdominal contraction and pushing out of the pelvic floor.
  • Commercial porn sets often feature a bottle of fake cum in case the guy can't offload his mighty salt reserves. In some squirt movies, pints of this can be seen shooting out of a girl. Hint, it looks like cornstarch / cream.
  • Squirt is piss, you kinky fucker.

Men can squirt too - the male G-spot[edit]

Boys and girls are extremely similar in terms of genitalia at a prebirth stage, the penis develops from the same tissues that form a pussy. The clitoris becomes the head of the penis, the urethra extends, the erectile tissues around the pussy that fill when aroused also extend to create the shaft of a penis and so forth. Similar neurons are present in both sexes. Many girls wishing to buttsex their male, or 'the gay' into this, claim the male g-spot is his prostate, as this is the same tissue mass where the neurons are present in women.

This is, however, incorrect. If one studies all the descriptions given by women about the sensations experienced when having their G-spot stimulated, this corresponds word for word to the sensations created when the back of your penis head is rubbed; e.g. the side facing towards you as you read this and wait for another squirt film to reach 100%. Intensely stimulating this region alone for any significant duration will cause you to spontaneously piss yourself. You'll know when you've got it because your ass will instantly try to shoot back at the speed of sound. Medically groundbreaking stuff with massive implications for female sexuality and censorship, and you heard it from an EDiot first.

Controversy[edit]

   
 
It's not piss!!! I came after completely soaking my hotel bed one night
 

 
 


See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


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