Starprincess801

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Starprincess801 = infected with GOTIS
You can help by not giving her any attention.

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Somebody should do something about it.

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ZZZZZZZZZZ KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!

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I'm a very complex person and you may not understand me at first. I am a Bonder, which is a little paranormal in itself, as it is someone who can bond and interact with anime and videogame characters (that's what my guardians are). Bonders come with their own clairvoyance and ability to do something a little like astral projection. Yeah. It's odd. Very odd. If you want to know anything about it though please don't hesitate to ask me..I and my guardians will answer whatever we can (the truth is there isn't an answer for everything).

All in all, I hope I get along with everyone here, I'm very glad to be here, and I'm...well...COMPLETELY INSANE! :D So let the craziness begin!
 


 
 

—XenaEilonwy, Best and most accurate introduction in a forum ever

Starprincess801 claims she looks similar to Princess Zelda from Legend of Zelda. Can't you see the unmistakable similarity?

Meet the land whale from New Jersey that is Starprincess801 (or XenaEilonwy or AuroraVirtuaFighter or Dark Lady Celebrian or Star/Aurora/Galadriel/whateverthefuckfancyname she wants); or you can just call her DONNA (which is her real name that she hates). This princess is not your typical 16 year old. Not only will uttering her real name hex you to eternity as she claims, she's special, because she can "Bond" with anime and video game characters, meaning she can talk/communicate/see/fuck them, just like real people. She has an entourage of more than 80 imagined white knights (or, as she likes calling them, her guardians) and a gazillion animu characters as her Attendants (over 200 animu ass kissers). She considers herself royalty on the internet and video game world, hence the attention whorish and narcissistic names she uses to cover up the hideous truth behind it. She normally spreads her fail on several forums and sites — that is, when she isn't looking for more innocent characters to bond. In reality, she's a batshit insane and fatass bitch who looks like an Italian man who refuses to take her meds, resulting in her babbling about video game stuff nobody gives a shit about, and thinking that the video game characters are real people. She's also a good (if a little high-calorie) buffet meal for trolls.

Bonding[edit]

Every Bonder should have a necklace like this.

Most bonders you'd find on the internet bond with their fictional characters, but Star's creative ingenuity is so superb, people might die out of unworthiness of her greatness, so she decided to bond with existing video game characters instead.

In this video, you can see her talking and interacting with unseen entities

Around 3:40, she is fending off something that hits her face with a book. At around 7:15, she attempts to set the camera to show "everybody in the room" but Lighting (from FF13) keeps on interfering.

Whenever she's talking, she inserts the name of the character she "speaks for", making her look like she has Schizophrenia and MPD. Which might be true.

XenaEilonwy: 'Yuffie: Star dislikes Okami because the wolf can piss on enemies.'

Here are some of her Bonding explanations:

Being a Bonder[edit]

  • A Bonder is nearly unstoppable with a game he or she is connected to, and I have a very strong connection to Soul Calibur. Reason for that is I can actually fuse, soul-wise, to the person (think of it as souped-up astral projection) who is my soulparticle, and it's as if we are one entity at that point.

Interpretation: When playing video games, she is distracted by the voices in her head, making her almost unstoppable at getting fragged.

  • A Bonder is somebody who is connected to anime and videogames via their soul. This person can interact with those anime and videogame characters, who are actually the physical manifestations of the person's soul. Who these characters are cannot be controlled, either by the Bonder or the character (you cannot say "I like this guy a lot so I'm gonna make myself bond with him. If you're lucky you end up bonding to people that happen to be your personal favorites. In turn, the character cannot say "I have too much work, I can't bond with this person."). Whoever you bond to you are stuck with.

Interpretation: She disregards the characters' personalities according to the game/anime, meaning that, no matter what character she is "stuck with", he/she will love her always and wish to protect her against the evil fiends that lurk the internet.

  • "Bonder's Burden - When a Bonder plays, or is exposed to a videogame, they are hit with things called vibes. Vibes are little jolts that come from within the soul, either from being close to something the Bonder is connected to (the game), or from actually FEELING the emotions and pain of the protagonist while playing the game."

Interpretation: She enjoys strapping car batteries to her nipples whilst playing video games.

Wow[edit]

  • A Wow is how you know you are going to bond to a character. It is a series of jolts given off by either the sight or the mention of the character. A Wow is the feeling of the two lost halves of the soul reuniting to eachother. Penned (by me!) that because it is a floaty, euphoric feeling. Basically, if you have a Wow on someone and it won't drop, you are going to bond with them. Usually even if it does drop, it will come back sometime in the future (but you never know exactly when it'll come back or how long it'll take. Normally the first signs of a Wow, if the Wow drops, allows you to try to reclaim it yourself).
  • WHAT YOU *DON'T* DO WITH A WOW:
    • You DON'T push it away, even if you dislike the character. That is EXTREMELY dangerous for both of you.
    • You DON'T hold it off once it reaches its peak. Once it reaches its peak, you bond. That's all there is to it. Though it can usually be held off a few minutes or an hour to a more convenient time (DO NOT HOLD IT OFF FOR A WHOLE DAY THOUGH, WHATEVER YOU DO).
    • You DON'T try to make it drop yourself. If it is going to drop, it will drop on its own. You DON'T help it drop if you dislike the character.
  • When a Wow reaches its peak, then it is time to bond with the character.

WANT TO KNOW WHAT A WOW FEELS?

Pixels[edit]

There are three categories for anime and videogames when it comes to bonding:

  • I. Nonpixel: These are anime and videogames that take place in hidden parts of this universe. They are filmed, and never staged (it's like home videos) by characters who wish to film a videogame. However, once the game is announced via the game company, it is clear that game company has the rights to EVERYTHING about that game, which is why many people mistake nonpixels for being "not real" when they actually are and actually did happen in hidden parts of the universe... the game company and "common" human knowledge causes them to. It is also why said parts of the universe are hidden, or one reason why. Nobody really knows why they are covered-up. Examples of nonpixels include Final Fantasy, Inuyasha, and Valkyrie Profile.
  • II. Pixel: These are anime and videogames that DO NOT take place in our universe, and are in fact drawn, created, and given voice actors and such by creators. However, when the character and world is drawn, an alternate universe opens up for it, where the characters go about their own lives. They are created and technically "not real," yes, but in ANOTHER universe, they are real. Without prior experience, you can usually tell a pixel from a nonpixel by watching for things such as overly-gory deaths and over-the-top elements without the use of magic. When a pixel is bonded to a "pic portal" must be opened in order to bring the pixel into this universe. Examples of pixels include Tomb Raider, Excel Saga, and Persona.
  • III. Deep Pixel: These are videogames (anime can never be Deep Pixels) that are NOT REAL, in this universe or any other, and thus cannot be bonded to. You can usually tell a deep pixel by watching for overly-cartoonish elements. Examples of Deep Pixels include Mario, Starfy, and Kirby.
  • A pic portal allows pixels to enter this universe. It is usually opened by a nonpixel. I hear certain Bonders, especially those whose first bonds were pixel, can open them themselves in the same way you would set off a nonpixel's transporter sensor. I still have yet to open one myself. I think I will test it tomorrow. Pokemon is actually interesting. It is an example of Interuniverse Alliances..the humans are pixels, the Pokemon are not. Pokemon are good first bonds, because they are the ONLY ones that can be controlled (you can control which Pokemon you want). They're good for seeing if you have the potential in the first place.
  • Interuniverse Alliances are often-plot-inducing (e.g. Pokemon, Portal/Half-Life) alliances between pixels and nonpixels. Since videogame and anime characters tend to mingle with one-another, sometimes this mingling spreads to their games. Like in Brawl. But with Brawl, with all those Deep Pixels there, those were holograms operated by a Pic Cam, which is used if Deep Pixels need to be present in the interuniverse alliance.

TL;DR: SHE HAS AWESOME POWERS, YOU WILL BOW BEFORE HER OMNIPOTENCE.

Early Signs of Insanity[edit]

Star started showing signs of insanity at the tender age of 11, where in a Pokemon site, she firmly believed that POKEMONS WERE NOT CREATED, THEY WERE FUCKING DISCOVERED BY THE NINTENDO GUYS!!11 She even owns 85 of them and has all the legendaries! Not only did she own Pokemon but she even dated some of them! This clearly shows her mental state at an early age is just fucking disturbing.

Sinking Deeper into Insanity[edit]

Being the retarded little fuck that she is, her obsession did not limit her to pokemons, but extended to other video games as well, especially the Final Fantasy series. Eventually, she called herself the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Princess. Other video games she has raped are Silent Hill, Metroid, DoA, Resident Evil, Starcraft, Portal, and many more shitty games. She has ruined many characters with every bond she had, especially the character's designated personality. She likes to change the character's already-established characteristics, altering the character's story, making it her own mary sue, which is like a big slap to the face of the character designers. When someone calls her out saying that the character that is "speaking for" her doesn't act that way, she'll respond with "That's what <insert character name here> said, and s/he's standing right next to me", which always results in a facepalm.


   
 
Dude they're people not black holes in the shape of people o_o
 

 
 

—defending her GUARDIANS against fiends who say they're not REAL.

MY GUARDIANS ARE REAL PEOPLE!

The Holocaust/Sin's Reign[edit]

A time for Star that she compares with the Holocaust (LOLOLOL BECAUSE GETTING YOUR IMAGINARY FRIENDS BANNED IS THE SAME AS MASS MURDERING REAL PEOPLE), and later named Sin's Reign. On a chat, Star's "Guardians" were banned. Feeling full of butthurt and AIDS, she wrote many emo poems to the people who caused the ban. She would Role-play these people as villians. She finally threatened to cut herself and they were allowed back. She believes the people who caused the ban were trying to murder her and named them "Sin" or "Sinspawns", as in the game Final Fantasy X.

Star even drew herself as an emo pokemon!
   
 
Shinigami Tears

Do not put down the tears of the Shinigami, For doesn't the Shinigami possess the ability to weep. Do not put down the love of a Shinigami, For doesn't a Shinigami possess the ability to love. The Shinigami tears shall not fail to show, That there is no one who cannot love, There is no one who cannot be loved. Look deep into the tears of the Shinigami, For inside them lives the picture, Of the world of genuine love.

-For Rukia Kuchiki
 


 
 

—Because everytime someone spams a forum with poetry that could bring down a horse with the sheer volume of suck contained within, a death god cries. (And right after the tears run out they throw themselves into a meat grinder.)

   
 
Possessive Fear

Fear is possessive. Outshining all emotions until it is all that shows, Hiding away the joy, causing promises to break, And hiding the love. Fear sends the emotions down into dark shadow, Until it seems that it's all that's left, The only way to free trapped emotions is to defeat it. But fear can only be defeated, By the emotions it is trapping.

-For those whose emotions are trapped by fear
 


 
 

—Having imaginary friends banned from a chat is scary.

   
 
Misplaced Creature

Misplaced creature in the world of humans. No one knows what it is, Its way of behaving is like no human, Its appearance is like none have seen, It is shunned, it is feared. No one seems to hear its cries, No one understands its pain. Why should they, it's inhuman, It has no place among the humans, But all it takes is a warm heart, To help this creature realize, That it is not a monster, But a wonderful creature of the stars, The type of unique saint-creature, That is more human than those who shun her, A beautiful magical being that belongs anywhere.
 


 
 

—Star is a beautiful creature who should be recognized!

   
 
Is This The End

It all fell down, It all fell apart, It can't be rebuilt, Is this the end? I can't see a thing, Everything feels cold, I can't reach out, Is this the end? Nobody hears me, Nobody cares, I feel myself fade, Is this the end? I can't break free, I can't do a thing, I belong nowhere, Is this the end? Don't let this be the end, Please set me free, Please hear me, This can't be the end. I won't let it be, I won't let it be the end.
 


 
 

—An emo poem by Star.

   
 
Regaining Lost Wings

There comes a time for everyone. When we lose our will to fly, When we try to fly but fall. It's important not to give up, In the struggle to find our wings, For we must realize that they are not lost, But simply unused. The power to fly rests within us , Now all we must know, Is what it will take to find it.

-Written by Star

From Terra, Celes, Tifa, Cloud, Aerith, Yuffie, Rinoa, Squall, Quistis, Selphie, Ellone, Garnet, Yuna, Rikku, Paine, Lenne, Ashe, Penelo, Lightning, Kairi, Namine, and Star

Let's find our wings again! Stop the hate! Stop the anger! And stop the madness!!! We love you! <3

-Star and her twenty-one guardians <3<3

"We keep waiting, waiting on the world to change..."

/quote from the song Waiting On The World To Change, suggested by Namine
 


 
 

—Yet another emo poem by Star.

   
 
The Save File Is Corrupt

The save file is corrupt, It's over and gone, Not a trace of it is left. The save file is corrupt, All the glory saved, All the good times made, All the ways paved, Have all come to fade. They've faded away, Only a dream, vanished without a trace. The save file is corrupt, but the dream isn't over. The save file is corrupt, but the game isn't broken. A new game is only beginning, When the save file is corrupt.
 


 
 

—Even saved files of games she never plays have to get the fuck away from her!


May 04, 2009[edit]

This was the day Donna was banhammered from a chat. She bawwwed about how she always treats everyone right. She claimed her imaginary friends had scared the admin into banning her because Star's imaginary friends could beat anyone up with text. She posted how terrible the people were on many forums and told everyone how she threw a fit over this even though the internet doesn't affect her in any way.

The Legend of the Spandex[edit]

BEHOLD! The princess in all her glory in her most coveted suit!

Once upon a time, Donna finally had the spandex of beauty that she had been looking for for 5 (or maybe 6 since bonders can't do math) years delivered. She put it on and beheld herself in all her glory, and told everyone how good it made her feel, and that she barely recognized herself. But being the beloved princess that she is, and as in video games and fairy tales, an unthinkable thing happened. As soon as she took the garment off, it ripped. She then informed EVERYONE in the kingdom how it ripped and how sad it made her. It was like losing something very precious! As in any fairy tale, those FIENDS who told her it ripped because she was fat were told they never had something as precious as the spandex she only had for one day and could never understand. She reasoned that the ripping was caused by the unworthiness of the material to touch her sacred skin, and not because she is fat, since she only has muscles.

  • Epilogue: She has found a new material for her precious suit, and will be gracing the internets once she gets ahold of them. And the Star is once again a happy princess, and all is well within the Star's world.

Hiatus[edit]

After being trolled, breaking her Suits and having soulhurtz from not being able to "Bond" with a video game character, she took a hiatus. For THREE days. She came back and was then armed with the knowledge of how to counter people with The Chell Defense! Which is basically replying with "...................", because that makes her look totally smart.


OMG! I'M THE MARKER!!1one11one![edit]

One day, Star whined that on every site she goes to, she ends up having a nemesis. She then had an EPIPHANY based from Dead Space...SHE WAS THE MARKER ~ someone or something that MAGICALLY attracts FIENDS!


   
 
I have about nine or ten enemies. I counted them a few weeks ago but I made one or two more since then. :\ Told ya I'm the Marker.
 

 
 

—star, ever the attention loving whore


   
 
Nobody cares whether you're so-and-so. It still doesn't change the fact that you're a self-centered, parental-love-deprived, delusional, immature kid who is just too naive and oblivious about how THE WORLD ACTUALLY WORKS. And no, no GARDEEUN can ever help you deal with REAL LIFE problems. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL IN YOUR HEAD, and they DO NOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD AS REAL PEOPLE. And don't give me that crap that THEY'RE REALZ!!1, because no one will ever believe you. EVER.

Ever wonder why almost everybody is telling you the same thing? Did it ever cross your mind that "GEE, THEY TELL ME ALL OF THESE THINGS FOR THE NTH TIME ALREADY. MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME..."? Oh wait, I forgot, you tend to NOT TO LISTEN TO ANYONE WITH LOGIC, ANYWAYS. Lastly, I didn't post here to change your mind, because honestly, YOU'RE FUCKING HOPELESS. I just wanted to tell you how much of a deranged self-absorbed bitch you are, and no matter how your IMAGINARY GUARDIANS SAY OTHERWISE, other people will still call you out, and many will RAGE on you--not because you're this self proclaimed "Marker", but it's simply because you refuse to listen to reason and logic.
 


 
 

—Someone trying to knock some sense into her, obviously a lost cause

Defense Mechanisms[edit]

One of Star's very distinct abilities is to completely miss the point of an argument. She also tends to ignore what the others are saying when she wants to prove a point. A point that she's too stupid to back up, making her look much more stupid than she already is. She then resorts to either:

a.) changing the subject

b.) replying with something farfetched and completely ignoring the post directed to her

c.) posting irrelevant quotes from some stupid-ass game just to sound smart and not butthurt from her fail.


   
 
Bonders ain't god's gift to the world, babe. They're a plague on the world. The fact that you totally glossed over that fact in the first place suggests you didn't care about it and that she just needed to be defended because those BIG OL' MEANIES were making fun of the stuck up little bitch.
 

 
 

—speaks the truth

   
 
"I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you've managed to destroy that part of me."
 

 
 

Not butthurt at all

d.) inserting her guardians into the conversation, i.e.:

Reasonable Person: You live in a fantasy world.

Donna: Samus: STOP ABUSING HER I'LL KILL YOU

e.) pulling out the "YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME WHY ARE YOU PICKING ON A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL?" card

   
 
She's your friend, right? You could always tell BBT to stop being an annoying little shit, and a grammar nazi. But I doubt that'll work. Wouldn't work with you.

BTW Xena, if you don't want people to "bully" or "tease" you, then stop attacking the way people talk, or correcting them on things. 'Cos you're just as susceptible to error as anyone else (and many times when you're correcting someone, you're not necessarily right yourself).
 


 
 

—Stating a fact

   
 
You could stop being 25 years old and picking on 14-and-16-year-old girls, but that doesn't work with you neither.
 

 
 

—because being 16 makes it okay to act like a retard

f.) replying with "...." (The Chell Defense) , because it would make her look she's ignoring the post entirely (later revealing through her guardians she has been bawwwing in front of the computer from all the internet bullies ganging up on a 16 year old poor widdle gurl all this time).

   
 
No, you did not say you missed that part. How the fuck could you miss that part. There was a whole fucking paragraph dedicated to it. Apparently a little TL;DR for your miniscule thinking capacity to handle.
 

 
 

   
 
...............
 

 
 

—being as smart as ever.


Another one of Star's traits is being painfully naive about everything in this world. Even on the internet, which she frequently uses. Such dumbassery can be seen in this rant.

Also, Star has this habit of treating anyone she meets the first time her best friend, because she's so fucking gullible and stupid. Not affected by the internets? Why bawww?

Selfish Spoiled Brat[edit]

You're just jealous because I get money from Social Security and don't even work hard to earn it.

Now Star, being the princess that she is, always gets what she wants, or she'll throw a tantrum. Just as what she wrote in this tl;dr rant, she is such an important individual amongst everybody else that it is a mortal sin that she should sit on a wooden chair! God forbid she strain her heavenly ass on something so unsophisticated as a wooden chair, unlike her throne, which broke due to her AWESOMENESS! And also for her Songstress outfit that her parents had been depriving her of! How could they! And when her Dad left? Who's going to buy her important stuff now?! How selfish of him! Do they not know the importance of her care to herself?! Can they not spend their money which they get from Social Security alone because of her retired father and unemployed mother on something as IMPORTANT as a $100+ material for her outfit? Is it so hard to spend some social security cash for your self absorbed daughter?! How can they be so inconsiderate? She's a PRINCESS, for fuck's sake!

Also, Star is superior to everybody else, so she can talk shit about her own mother. She doesn't care about how she spends the money she gets from Social Security. She doesn't care about the government, nor the recession, nor the fact that it's much wiser to SAVE money in case of emergencies. There's nothing more important than the things she wants. Hell, she doesn't even know how the government works, or why she gets the money. She says she'll give money to charity, so that makes it A-OKAY if she spend most of it on unnecessary things. She only cares about getting money, buying stuff that she wants, and does not care for anything else besides that and herself. Her imaginary guardians, herself, her prized possessions, herself, her imaginary guardians, herself... you get the pattern.

   
 
XenaEilonwy: NO GLADOSES I'M NOT GIVING UP MY MOUNTAIN BIKE BECAUSE IT'S A RECESSION. STFU
 

 
 

—Such a perfect example of a good American citizen

   
 
Collecting SS isn't wrong. Especially not if it was my FATHER who requested it, not me. I have nooooo authority over it. At all. Only "authority" I have over it is "We have that magical device alled a credit card," which is what I tell JP when he's like "How much are you planning on spending." The thing is, not a lot of kids collect SS because most kids don't have fathers who are senior citizens. :\
 

 
 

—Star, justifying her SCAMMING

   
 
....The fun part? I DON'T mean to stop spending 144 dollars in a store.
 

 
 

—Whatever happened to saving it for charity?

   
 
You know what? You're probably bitching at me because you're piss-poor and you're insecure about that so you have to bitch at the people who aren't.
 

 
 

—Because having to spend Social Security money means she's not poor.


   
 
I can buy expensive things and not be a dirty asshole. Edea and Lili do it all the time.
 

 
 

—BECAUSE VIDYA GAEM CHARACTERS ARE REALLY GOOD ROLE MODELS RIGHT?


   
 
Imaginary people can spend imaginary money all they want. You, however, are real and indeed a dirty asshole.
 

 
 

—Shadowflare, slapping her with the FACTS

Spending money you didn't earn has never been so simple.

The goverment came very close into taking away her stack of money(Read:$37,000) that her dad had saved up. The only way to save it was to put the money in her name, I wonder how long thats going to last seeing how she is now 18.

Alone in the Dark[edit]

Star holds the firm belief that, being a princess, she is therefore naturally beautiful. She does not need any make up or anything that might enhance her fugly facial features — she's a princess! Boys run after her alluring beauty.

She's not FAT, period. THOSE ARE JUST MUSCLES.


   
 
XenaEilonwy: Lightning: Even though she hates it, Star gets followed around by half the boys in the school...
 

 
 

—...probably to capture her and charge admission to look at the world's only talking hippo.


   
 
You watch too many cartoons about the Freshman Hunt. It doesn't exist, you know. It doesn't really happen. I actually was able to dominate the seniors as a freshman and even get half of them to flirt with me (even though I didn't want that >>).
 

 
 

—Yes, because they probably didn't exist too

She also believes that she's a muscular girl, and is not, in fact, a fucking whale. She refuses to accept the truth that her prized possession (a.k.a. the spandex) was destroyed because of the ocean of lard in her body that she insisted on trying to fit into the spandex.


   
 
Sometimes I wondered what it'd be like to attention whore just to be noticed. I mean like, to make something up just so people would look at me.

But it's just plain desperate and wrong. I'd never do it. Even if I do wanna be noticed real hard sometimes.
 


 
 

—Yep, she's totally not an attention whore

FUCK YOU I'M AN ASSPIE-RING SUPERHERO[edit]

Star loves humanity very very much. She's even willing to turn into a cybernetically-enhanced human to save humanity one day. She works out every day and learns martial arts from her guardians. She even has Lara Croft and Samus Aran as her personal trainers for "reflex training"!


   
 
XenaEilonwy: I don't have the excuse to be in the kitchen cause I am too busy being a gamer and aspiring superhero.
 

 
 

O RLY?

So her spandex was worn for a reason! IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN A SUPERHERO ALL SUMMER!...over the internet.

   
 
XenaEilonwy: And I'm too busy being swallowed by the Phazon to be a superhero anymore.
 

 
 

   
 
XenaEilonwy: That's what I find unfair. All summer I got to be a superhero. Now I'm just awaiting my fate.
 

 
 

—Awww, how sad.

Isn't her life such a sad story? Like those typical superhero plots, school (Phaaze) is keeping her from doing superhero stuff and being a superhero altogether.

I love guns and Bounty Hunting is SRS BSNS[edit]

Donna also has a weapons fetish. She just loves guns and weapons — she's willing to make love to them.

 
 
Oh come on, don't tell me no one else sees the hilarity in Xena wanting an AK-47 to fight crime? The irony is beautiful.
 

 


   
 
Don't want it to fight crime. Want it to stare at and maybe hold for a while (no bullets in it of course). And maybe rub against my face a bit.
 

 
 

—Yeah, because it's perfectly normal for crazy hambeasts to collect guns and stare at them.


   
 
Haha when I said I have a weapons fetish I mean it. ^_-
 

 
 

—Holy shit.

To anyone who may be concerned: issue a permit for her to carry a gun after taking a safe distance — we do want another school shooting happening sometime in the future.

Aside from being a superhero and crimefighter, Donna apparently wants to become a bounty hunter, since, you know, bounty hunting is very easy and is a decent job nowadays. It'll be easy for our little princess, who's also deathly afraid of school and yelling people.


   
 
I FOUND OUT YOU DON'T NEED COLLEGE TO BE A BOUNTY HUNTER!!!!!
 

 
 

—XenaEilonwy


   
 

Also, people need to LAY OFF the aforementioned career choice. STOP TELLING ME I'LL NEVER BE A BOUNTY HUNTER BECAUSE OF A MENTAL CONDITION THAT ONLY AFFECTS ME IN *ONE* SPOT IN THE WHOLE WORLD. You do NOT know what I am going to be like when I'm 25 years old. And the people who think I could be a bounty hunter don't want me to. Why? "BECAUSE YOU'LL GET HURT!!!!" So you guys can go have dangerous jobs but I can't, huh? The only person in the world who wants me to be a bounty hunter is my inspiration, Samus Aran. But since she listens to my guardians and their NO SHE'LL GET *HURRTTT!* all the time and attacked the person who made my ED page, I wonder how long THAT will last.
 


 
 

The crazy is just spewing out of her fingertips.

UPDATE: Reality raped her in the ass, so some sense seemed to have gotten through her delusion of being a bounty hunter.


   
 
So I have given up on my precious fantasy, and don't know where to go from here. All morning long, I've been trying to die, trying to trick my brain into thinking I was already dead so I would shut down...
 

 
 

— Do it faggot.

I KNOW KUNG FU[edit]

Aside from being a bounty hunter, archeologist, superhero, princess, artist, and queen of the goddamn universe, Donna is also a martial artist. She diligently watches videos and "trains" with her guardians as her teachers. She's very SRS of becoming a martial artist as her chosen career, and claims that she gets her strength from the people who troll her, saying that she only gets more motivated every time someone tells her she can't be anything.

   
 
By telling me I'll never have a career, you've all actually enhanced it. Yesterday I was training by using my mom's exercise mat as a punching bag, and Vanessa's eyes just went wide when she was watching me and I made the whole house vibrate occassionally. I was surprised at myself, actually. So the secret really is all in the rage.
 

 
 

   
 
Here's some rage-fuel for you.

I think you made your whole house shake because you're huge. Not because you have a good uppercut. Might wanna improve that C average, since stripping is definitely out for you.
 


 
 

—LOL

Donna also has no plans whatsoever about going to college, or having a career that's actually applicable in the REAL world.

   
 
It is my career. Okay? That's just it. It's. My. Career. Because to be honest what other careers can you get with no college education and focusing on nothing but your muscles all the time? Newsflash: None. You're not going to do well in any career if you have as much problems with school as I do. You HAVE to turn to brawn. And I don't see any problem with turning to brawn because it is actually something I ENJOY doing.
 

 
 

—because beating up people will pay your bills, right? And if you're focusing on your muscles, why do you still look like a hippo?

People were actually trying to help her and talk some sense into her (as seen in the given link), but as evidenced in the quotes above, she listens to no one but her "bonds" or herself. Everybody else is just trying to troll her.

Bonus Level[edit]

Some monologues our Star likes to do when no one's paying attention to her in the cbox.

Bounty Hunting

XenaEilonwy: You know what? Nobody is going to tell me I can't be a bounty hunter.
XenaEilonwy: Because being a bounty hunter is one of the most important things to me in my life. And the danger only makes me wanna do it all the more
XenaEilonwy: Because you know what? I wanted to be an artist. But while the artists are sitting around making pretty pictures, SOMEONE needs to deal a slice of justice to the people who need it.
XenaEilonwy: I may be going to a special school in three towns over soon. :\
XenaEilonwy: After that teacher who stared at me like I was Pyramid Head and the other one who called kids "losers" and "turds," I don't trust teachers at regular high schools.

XenaEilonwy: I'm trying to be a bounty hunter :\
XenaEilonwy: Samus: Lara is now screaming at me all the time about "YOU STOLE MY PROTEGEE SAMUS!!"
XenaEilonwy: ...But I'm both your protegees. I still treat archaeology with an unbelievable reverence
XenaEilonwy: I know. Samus is one. That's all I need.
XenaEilonwy: Did I ever mention she's my hero? I'm sure I mentioned it at least 40 times but just in case I didn't, THIS WOMAN IS *FUCKING AMAZING*

Xena likes to be trolled

XenaEilonwy: Only reason I won't leave is 'cause the bitchery didn't start immediately. I left this other site where the same thing happened 'cause they didn't wait a month to start being asses.
XenaEilonwy: Creepypasta's fast become more to me than just a place to go for a scare.
Tower: A place to get trolled mercilessly?
XenaEilonwy: No, a place to hang out with people.
XenaEilonwy: There ARE a few smart people here, you know. Bekah, Mangles, Phone...
Tower: Oh they're trolling you too.
XenaEilonwy: The trolling only started after a month, you know. By a month I'd already become attached to this place
XenaEilonwy: Besides...I kind of...like it
XenaEilonwy: Yuna: ..You LIKE it? o_o
XenaEilonwy: Yeah, ya know
XenaEilonwy: I like going on commando missions to hunt stalkers down
XenaEilonwy: Bounty hunter practice, you know
XenaEilonwy: I like the thrill. It's like being caught up in a really good RP

Special Bonus Round: Donna "confronted" the writer of this article. Then drama ensued.

[Agent S] Sonya: And you know what? If you want to make fun of someone cute, innocent, and harmless, why don't you go make an ED page for a baby or a pet dog or something
[Agent S] Sonya: Do you have a little sibling or a pet?
[Agent S] Sonya: Why don't you go put them up on ED. You can make fun of something innocent and harmless that way too
[House] I'm House. I care for nobody else.
[House] you're full of butthurt right now
[House] I bet you're already crying
[Agent S] Sonya: Not me.
[House] suuuuure
[Agent S] Sonya: Samus? Angeal? Li Mei? Yuna? Yes.
[Agent S] Sonya: Why else do you think Star came over here so we could deal with you? Her only beserk button is if you hurt us. ^^
[House] as many have said before, THEY'RE ALL YOU.
[Agent S] Sonya: People who hurt us are pretty much viewed on the same level as the devil.
[Agent S] Sonya: By Star, anyway.
[House] so this is your way of "dealing" with me?
[Agent S] Sonya: You know she never forgave this girl she was friends with for hurting Trish, even after TRISH forgave the girl and the two "made up?"
[Agent S] Sonya: I'm pretty sure you are going to be viewed as on the same level as that girl. Who was a little bitch, by the way. I met her
[House] and I care because...?
[Agent S] Sonya: Because you should.
[Agent S] Sonya: Because you know what? It's people like YOU that are the ones that have problems
[House] awwww
[Agent S] Sonya: And you know what? STAR DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE. You go and make ED pages about her when SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXISTED UNTIL YOU DID
[Agent S] Mileena: I'll bet if you hit someone with your car you wouldn't feel any remorse. ^^
[House] oh yes.
[Agent S] Mileena: And I bet you'd actually get LULZLOL out of their screaming, crying children
[House] like right now, because it's the internet.
[Agent S] Mileena: And I thought *I* was heartless! ^^
[House] and I'm actually LOL'ing at you
[House] because you scream of butthurt and bawwwwwing
[Agent S] Mileena: Or I used to be heartless anyway. Sometimes it takes someone special to pull your heart out from under wherever the fuck mine was hiding. In my colon?
[House] are you finished yet?
[Agent S] Samus: Fuck no.
[House] this is getting tl;dr
[Agent S] Samus: Too fucking bad.
[House] might have to edit out some stuff to add to your article
[Agent S] Samus: Pretty much, read over everything Sonya said. Once, twice, three times, fucktouple times, whatever
[House] and that won't change a thing.
[House] :D
[House] at all. :D
[Agent S] Samus: And it's people like you who are the real problems in the world
[House] awwwwwwww
[Agent S] Samus: People who feel no remorse, no emotions, no care for anybody in the world besides themselves.
[Agent S] Samus: I'm surprised you even have any friends. You'd probably do this to them too
[House] *hint*
[House] because we're in the internet
[Agent S] Samus: Don't give a fuck.
[House] same here
[Agent S] Samus: Your attitude shows regardless.
[House] really
[House] all you're showing is HOW MUCH YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ALL OF THIS
[Agent S] Samus: Really, if I can't take the ED page down, I'll at least feel joy (YES, JOY. INCREDIBLE JOY) in the fact that I got to her attacker
[House] otherwise you wouldn't be wasting your time typing
[Agent S] Samus: I mean I don't give a fuck whether we're in the Internet or on the street.
[Agent S] Samus: I'd do the same thing if I met someone like you on the street, and I do the same thing on the Internet
[House] still pretending to be tough huh
[Agent S] Samus: You know, you are just about on the same level as Ridley to me
[Agent S] Samus: You don't wanna be another Ridley.
[House] oh I don't really care whoever character you compare me to
[Agent S] Samus: No way. You don't wanna be another Ridley after what you've seen me do to the actual Ridley
[Agent S] Samus: I can be effective with text, you know
[House] why don't you try?
[House] I've been waiting
[Agent S] Samus: Unfortunately it is hard to attack a sociopath.
[Agent S] Samus: Because they don't have any emotions.
[Agent S] Samus: But the fact that I attacked you at all brings me joy
[House] and that is why all you've said means nothing
[House] oh it's alright
[Agent S] I understand why Samus wants the ED page down you know.
[House] live in that little cloud of dream of yours
[Agent S] And...well..it's a tearjerker.
[House] you won't be sheltered forever
[Agent S] Tell me something, House
[House] seriously, is this your way of taking me down?
[Agent S] I'm not doing any taking down
[House] c'mon, try harder.
[Agent S] What would you do, House, if you found out someone very close to you, irl, was on ED?
[House] as I've said, I won't give a fuck
[Agent S] I said irl.
[House] won't care.
[Agent S] What would you do if....who's the person in your family you are closest to? Think about them
[Agent S] Now what would you do if you found an ED page about them. :\
[House] pffffff
[House] phwahahahahahaha
[House] nothing
[House] absolutely nothing
[Agent S] Nothing? Really?
[Agent S] You really are a sociopath, then, and not just on the Internet
[House] see, this is why people like "antagonizing" you
[House] you take everything seriously
[Agent S] I don't, actually
[House] even things over the internet
[Agent S] But I can see where Samus would be going with it
[Agent S] Do you have a little sister or something?
[House] haaaah seriously, this is really getting tl;dr for your article
[Agent S] Think of THE person, irl, that you are closest to in your life.
[Agent S] Then think of them being attacked on an Internet website.
[House] as I've said.
[Agent S] Even if it's an Internet website they do not go on themselves.
[House] you're just babbling the same thing over and over again
[House] I DON'T GET AFFECTED BY THE INTERNET.
[House] DEAL WITH IT.
[House] AND JUST SHUT UP. NOW.
[Agent S] Well, I suggest you think about it more
[Agent S] Think about that person in your life that means the world to you
[House] mmmmmno. :D
[Agent S] Then think about them being put alongside pedophiles and feminazis on a website.
[House] mmmmmmno.
[Agent S] Think long and hard about that, and you'll know why these guys are so hurt by the fact that I am on ED.
[Agent S] Even though I myself do not go on ED enough to read or care about it
[House] MMMMMMMNO.
[Agent S] Mmmmno, hm?
[Agent S] Right. Mmmmmno.
[Agent S] Because you know you'd feel the same.
[Agent S] You know you wouldn't hide behind that "I don't get affected by Intranetz" exterior if it was someone you were close to
[House] ORLY?
[House] you're getting boring now
[House] would you try anything else?
[Agent S] You wouldn't want to see your mother, or your father, or your younger sibling, on an Internet site that posts all that gross porn
[Agent S] You know you wouldn't. Nobody who's human would
[House] blahblahblahblahblah
[Agent S] That's the whole reason Tifa banned me from ED in the first place
[Agent S] Because I found HER ED page.
[Agent S] And after that, Tifa was all "NO YOU'RE NOT GOING ON ED EVER AGAIN"
[House] would the little girl please sleep now?
[House] I believe you still have SCHOOL.
[Agent S] Starts Tuesday.
[Agent S] I'm only in 4 percent corruption right now
[Agent S] Samus: Fastfoward a few years, House. I want you to think about something. But in the future
[House] NO.
[House] oh just go to sleep little princess
[Agent S] Samus: Because you know you'll understand where I'm going when you do, right?
[House] I still have a page to edit
[Agent S] Samus: Well, before you edit your trash, fastfoward a few years
[House] how about....NO.
[Agent S] Samus: You have a beautiful wife. Or husband. I'm not really sure what you are
[Agent S] Samus: She/he is the most beautiful, kindhearted, lovely person in the world.
[House] haaah seriously
[Agent S] Samus: You go on the Internet.
[Agent S] Samus: You go on ED to check on the "lulz"
[House] yadayadayadayadayadayadayada
[Agent S] Samus: He/she is on there.
[House] WON'T CARE.
[Agent S] Samus: Better example"
[Agent S] Samus: Fastfoward a few years again. You have a daughter. The most beautiful little girl in the world.
[House] NO.
[Agent S] Samus: Constantly smiling and giggling. Running to you, yelling "DADDY/MOMMY!" and hugging you, smiling at you with the brightest face, every single time you see her
[Agent S] Samus: She is your entire world. You would never want anything to happen to her. You want nothing but the absolute very best for her. Nothing less than the moon and the stars.
[House] well at least if I was to have an offspring, I'll make sure she's nowhere near like you.
[Agent S] Samus: She is the most beautiful being you've ever known in your life, and she looks at you as if you are her god
[House] aaaaah blahblahblahblahblahblahblah
[House] can you just get to the point?
[Agent S] Samus: You go on the Internet. You decide to check on ED to see if there's any new lulz. Oh, there is new lulz. That beautiful, apple-cheeked, giggling, shiny girl is the new "lulz" on ED
[House] oh I'm sure my child won't have a page there since she's not someone like you
[House] finished now?
[Agent S] Samus: Among all the porn, the trolls, the Anonymous, the memes, the 4chan....your daughter. The one who *sniff* throws her arms around you every single day and smiles...
[House] this is getting ridiculous
[Agent S] Think about it, House. :\
[Agent S] She has a (HORRIFYINGLY TEARJERKING) point
[House] NO I WON'T :D
[Agent S] Of course you won't
[Agent S] You don't want to admit that it's horrifyingly tearjerking
[House] now, are you finished?
[Agent S] You don't want to admit that you are human and you do have emotions
[Agent S] You just wanna look like an Internet tough guy who doesn't afraid of anything
[Agent S] Yep.
[House] finished?
[Agent S] I dunno, am I?
[Agent S] I know why you don't wanna think about it
[Agent S] Even I don't wanna think about something like that happening to my future heiress.
[House] well I could close this window and proceed on editing your article now
[Agent S] Because you don't want to admit that you have emotions and are human and...well...you WOULD have a problem with someone attacking somebody close to you, Internet or not
[House] aaah there you go again
[Agent S] And you WOULD probably attack them and envision yourself ripping their head from their body.
[House] yadayadayada
[Agent S] Samus: ..ONLY ripping his head from his body?
[Agent S] Samus: I'm envisioning myself doing MUCH WORSE things than that.
[House] finished?
[Agent S] Were you waiting this whole time for me to finish or something
[Agent S] You can't handle the truth, can you
[House] says the little girl who hides behind her imaginary friends
[Agent S] The truth is, you are just as sensitive as the ENTIRE HUMAN RACE and WOULD care if someone were attacking someone you loved "for the lulz"
[House] and acts all toughie
[House] how dramatic
[House] you've been saying the same thing over and over
[Agent S] I'm the one acting toughie?
[Agent S] You're the one all "I wouldn't care about people I love"
[House] that's why I've been asking you if you're finished already
[Agent S] So you don't care about people you love then
[Agent S] Is what you are saying?
[House] blahblahblah
[Agent S] So the reason you are just all "are you finished yet" is because you don't understand why everyone is so up in arms
[House] here we go agaiiiiin
[Agent S] I wish there was away I could make you understand
[Agent S] * a way
[House] finished?
[Agent S] Do you want me to be finished
[House] even if I tell you to, you'll just on go on babbling about useless things
[House] just like what you always do
[House] now, are you finished?
[Agent S] Not useless. Trying to make a point
[Agent S] But apparently you don't know what a "point" is. NOW who's the one sticking their fingers in their ears
[House] which is useless
[House] oh go bawww on your hugbox
[Agent S] Now who's the one who won't listen to logic
[Agent S] It's good to have a "hugbox" you know.
[Agent S] It means you have friends who care about you. You probably don't, judging by your attitude
[Agent S] You don't want people to care about you, do you?
[Agent S] That's fine too.
[Agent S] Anyway, I'm glad I got to give Samus what she's been waiting for me to give. A chance to attack Samus Aran Jr's attacker and maybe help them see reason
[Agent S] But I see you don't know what "reason" is
[Agent S] There's very few people I'd do this for. Samus is one of them
[House] sure.
[Agent S] Farewell.

Her reaction to this page[edit]

   
 
Lightning: Hello.

You all know who I am. I am Lightning, no last name, birth name not given. Final Fantasy 13 main protagonist. L'Cie. Guardian of Starprincess801. It has come to my attention through a very reliable source (hint: her name begins with a V) that Star finally has the ED page you all wanted her to have. I hope you have a very strong sense of accomplishment. You do, don't you? Go on, clap for yourselves. Throw a party even! Parties are fun! Don't forget the little weenies and little quiches...no party is complete without those! Star is indifferent to the whole thing. Power to her. She is becoming more and more like me every day. However, I happen not to be indifferent. Nor are my 79 bretheren. That is odd, because normally it is I who is the indifferent one. But I am like a mother wolf...pretty to look at and strong but really wants nothing to do with humans, but mess with my pups and I will rip every body part off of you. I will be talking to Samus Aran about this shortly. If she was able to build her own airship at the age of 18, well, she can probably wipe out a web page. ED has more than enough of this kind of thing.

So, enjoy your ED page while it lasts. 'Cause it may not be more than a huge blank white page with

Star's name on it for long.

Kiss kiss, Lightning
 


 
 

—Lightning, who's last name is Farron and first name is Claire, according to FFXIII

As you can see, this page is indeed a huge blank white page.

But wait!

XenaEilonwy: Lightning: Star, do you mind going on ED for a bit, please? 
XenaEilonwy: Yes. >> 
XenaEilonwy: Samus: Star, we kinda need you to, all right? It's approved for now. It's on the Samus Approved Sites list right now okay (more)
XenaEilonwy: I'm not going on ED you guys. 
XenaEilonwy: I got too much to deal with
XenaEilonwy: What can an ED page do to me? It can't do anything to me that Phaaze actually CAN do, that's for sure 
XenaEilonwy: The only thing that can kill me is A. Phaaze or B. Intercision. So give it up. :\

XenaEilonwy: Samus: I'm coming up with more plans to burn it down 
XenaEilonwy: ...SAMMY, it's giving me more publicity for the site! D:
XenaEilonwy: Samus: I'm not burning the whole site 
XenaEilonwy: Samus: Just Star's page. 
XenaEilonwy: SAM-MYYYYYYYYYYYYY! D: 
XenaEilonwy: Rikku: Samus, she wants it there because it gives her site publicity.

Did somebody say attention whore?


   
 
AuroraVirtuaFighter: Lately I've been hearing "Stfu" and "gtfo" a lot. Only makes me run my mouth more and stay for longer. :\
 

 
 

Protip: If you are told to stfu and gtfo, it's for a good reason.

Update: Donna now thinks she's popular and is an internet celebrity.

Considering a mental institution[edit]

What happened to asking her imaginary friends?


   
 
XenaEilonwy: And none of you know what it's like to slowly deteriorate from a mental condition that throws both mental and physical symptoms at you that EVERYONE THINKS IS A JOKE.
 

 
 

For the entire summer of '09, Star has bawwwed about going to school because school is scary. Whenever someone would troll her, she would inform them that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way, because she's dealing with a terrible moment in her life. She even claimed she would die in 5 months because of her school phobia. What is the cause of such a phobia? DETENTION and LOUD NOISES! She even had to go see a doctor for her phobia, after which she came on the internet to beg everyone to advise her whether she should go to a day-hospital or not, day-hospital being a crazy asylum with a pretty name.

  • She is currently still deciding if she should do a stay at home tutor or do the day-hospital because she doesn't want to lose her precious Social Security money for her video game shit. Some links about it are here and here.

Almost Dead[edit]

As with all attention whores, the principle of "I'M LEAVING FOREVAR;be back later" applies to her too.


   
 
"Serah: S'okay Ma Cherie. Now that all these people have successfully succeeded in making her scared of not only the school but of the WHOLE WORLD NOW, it's safe to say you won't be seeing much of her in however much time it takes for her to heal. :\

Thanks for breaking her, guys. I can only assume you all take pleasure in harassing a girl who is already ill until she finally reaches her breaking point. Thanks for making her afraid of even us now. I'll bet you're gonna laugh at the fact that you all finally did it too.

Fortunately, all it'll really take is us letting her know who the TRUE Dark Samuses are, and then we can work from there. :\

Again, good job at tormenting a sick girl until she finally snapped. Bet you're gonna laugh about that on the ED page too."
 


 
 

—She was back on and posting in two hours as if nothing happened.

She bawwwed on her hugbox of how broken she is, but even her hugbox is getting fed up with her drama.


   
 
None of us have to care one way or the other. They abuse you because they think you're just whining and not ill, and large blocks of text explaining how they called you fat or ugly and how sad you are because of it just makes you sound like a child that shouldn't be on the Internet in the first place. You keep getting "abused", and yet, you keep coming back for what will inevitably be more abuse, without attempting to make any sort of changes that could lessen or end the abuse...

...Coming off as a whiny unstable person isn't going to make you any more likable (even if you aren't whining, not everyone is going to see it that way). There's nothing you can do about the "abuse", other than ignore it. Maybe what's happening to you isn't fair. It doesn't matter anymore, though. Regardless of the fact that people shouldn't be messing with you, regardless of your mental and emotional condition, regardless of the things they say, regardless of all circumstances, you shouldn't be taking a faceless person's insults seriously.
 


 
 

—trying to tell her the truth is futile.

Donna has the most humongous ego and victim complex you would ever encounter. She has delusions of being a popular beauty in her school, claims she isn't fat, and thinks she's a superhero. She bitches about people who are actually trying to help her, and even uses her guardians to tell them off.

Forum Trolled and Hacked[edit]

Star's precious little forum was "trolled" and "hacked" by a single person because Star's a fucking idiot. In actuality, all that happened was one person posted a bunch of lulzy remarks about Star and flooded the board with a rant calling her out on her idiocy. When Star contacted people to help clean up the mess because she can't do it herself, she was stupid enough to contact and give admin access to the best friend of the person that "trolled" her forum, and thus, it was "hacked" and all the member accounts were deleted.

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Here She Dances![edit]

   
 
"So for my end-of-season project in June/July, I am doing an updated, modern version of the black swan (Odile) from Swan Lake."
 

 
 


(Take note of the long flowing locks of armpit hair, that move gently in the breeze as she twirls like a cunt.)

Naming[edit]

With each and every video game Star messes up, she comes up with new terms for things from those video games or whatever else. Here are some examples:

  • Sin or Sinspawn, name for her enemies - Final Fantasy X
  • GLaDOS, name for her enemies - Portal
  • Phazon/Phaaze, name for school - Metroid
  • SA-X, name for her impostors - Metroid
  • K2(Kefka 2), name for her mother - Final Fantasy VI
  • JP(Jenova Puppet), name for her father - Final Fantasy VII
  • Dress Spheres, her cosplay outfits - Final Fantasy X-2
  • Suits, her cosplay outfits - Metroid
  • Training, "exercising"
  • Throne, her chair
  • Temple, her room

...And the list goes on, since even with the recent drop in activity she still makes up new terms and expects people to understand them.

TL;DR[edit]

  • Starprincess801 is a retarded bonder bitch.
  • She's spoiled, as she gets whatever she wants courtesy of her daddy's Social Security checks.
  • She has an IQ over 130, but can't seem to act like a normal, socially acceptable human being.
  • When things get sticky for her, she has one of her guardians speak for her so she doesn't look like a complete bitch, which obviously doesn't work.
  • She looks like a man.
  • She takes everything and anything on the internet seriously.

The Moar You Know[edit]

  • She is into vore.
    • On August 29, 2009 at 20:14 our hero said,
"I still don't know how to masturbate so I guess I can't do that to RE vore." -Donna
  • Even her OWN mother thinks she's crazy.
"Now, I am expecting mom to yell at me for being a bit of a smartass, but she doesn't yell at me for that: she yells at me because I mentioned the FF outfits.She starts yelling at me about how I'm too obsessed, and how I'm crazy and selfish, and not listening to my side of the story, and butchering my roots and my bonds, and generally making me look like the piece of dirt I probably look like to everyone else. She even said "I'm going to take you to a mental institution so you can see what it's going to be like."...
  • Her mother and a classmate once wrote to Dr. Phil to seek help. It didn't push through, which only goes to show that not even Dr. Phil can help her.
Maybe that's why it didn't push through.
"This week's just been...awkward, and awful. And I feel like I've been being a bad girl this week, and very out-of-character. First of all on Tuesday I had an UNBELIEVABLY gross thought about my much-fangirled attendant Siegfried Schtauffen. And I spent the rest of the night wondering why the heck something like THAT would come to my Jun-Kazama-esque-pure-and-innocent mind."
  • She also says Yuna's from Canada. wtf. More like in between US and Canada. Oh, and Kingdom Hearts too. But she says they're more like in Canada.
  • She's never played most of the games she talks about.
  • SHE HASN'T COMBED HER HAIR SINCE SHE WAS 7 WTF.
  • She also has a 30 year old brother who got arrested for a sexual offense.
  • Apparently, Star has a real, human friend (that actually exists and can interact with other people too). Only one though, who is also her MASSIVE hugbox and cunt licker.
  • For a while, she had an internet boyfriend. He LOOOOOOOOOOOVED to write imaginary stories where him and a few of their emo friends had orgies. Even he turned out not to like her. He was just pretending, like Xena/Star/Aurora/Donna pretends to lick Metroid's cunt every night. To some, this man turned into a hero, crushing the soul of a mighty dragon-fairy-vampire (she's an otherkin too guys). But it turns out this kid was just a whiny emo with MPD like Xena/Star/Aurora/Donna. As seen here in this preview of their romance novel:


   
 
"...Then I decided to take action when Xena's bullshit started pissing everybody off. Everybody liked it when I told off Xena. EXCEPT FOR YOUR BITCH ASS. NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR HER SHIT. NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO Metroid, PHAAZE, SA-X, YUNA, LIGHTNING, KENDRA, ETC. What I did was a justice to this site. But you're the only whore who didn't like it. So you banned me to the Adachi forum. Why ban me, when I'm not the one who started this shit?

I give the site a few months before your idiocy kills the rest of the good in it. The axe that will cut down this faggot tree is coming. Have fun with all of the people on your site! You'll have tons like Yuna, Lightning, Metroid, Kendra, Heather, because Xena will be all of them for you! She'll even pretend to be other members too!"
 


 
 

—- Xena's white knight and EX boyfriend, Odd/K Nundrum

  • Unknown to those people, there was apparently a stalker claim issued by this man. This man claims that someone from this site knows her physical address. Which was crap anyways. Funny how she firmly believed it.
  • Since Donna got butthurt from being bullied on a site, she now tries to SPREAD THE WORD OF SOULBONDING ALL OVER THE INTERNETS.
  • Being all butthurt from the drama she always attracts and brings upon herself, she has finally decided to leave said site where she gets "bullied". On the TV Tropes forum, she tells people that the admin of the site (the one she left/will leave) is her best friend, and only stayed because of her, while saying on another post that the site is stupid/full of asses.
   
 
Well, I just gave my friend on that Site Full-O-Jackasses her "I may be leaving so goodbye" PM and now I'm about to cry again.
 

 
 

—some "best friend" you are, huh.

  • She likes to start debates or get into debates without having full knowledge about the topic. Being a princess, she has all the money she needs to buy anything she wants, SO DOWNLOADING THINGS IS BAAAAD. But AMVs are absolutely acceptable, because she said so. Having logic and reason thrown into her in a thread, she decided to stay away, since she's allergic to both.
  • She also likes to defend obvious trolls.
  • She's a closet lesbian. One can also notice she has a huge amount of female guardians and fewer male ones (who actually look more female than the real females, anyway; e.g. Cloud)
XenaEilonwy: Okay so if there's a sex scene between Shepherd and Ashley
XenaEilonwy: What if Shepherd is a girl
XenaEilonwy: Tifa: ..Then there is no sex scene but there is a way you can be les with Liara
XenaEilonwy: IMPLIED THREESOME IN MASS EFFECT
  • She has a fanfiction about second graders who have a lesbian relationship and also says they have "les yay!" but claims it's not sex whatsoever.
  • Because she has insecurities the size of a galaxy, she got jealous of a friend who got compliments instead of her.

Formspring quotes[edit]

Q: You like dancing! I like jazz dance..but whats your favorite? Where do you take lessons! I think dance is amazing, its lovely to see someone doing something they love.

A: Lyrical is my absolute favorite but I also like modern, contemporary, and contemporary/lyrical jazz. I don't go to studios anymore. I teach myself, with some tutoring from 3 dance-inclined soulbonds. [Right, your imaginary friends can teach you to dance just like they can train you to be a bounty hunter.] I despise studios--if I'm going to be dancing someone else's choereography in a (most likely very skimpy)[No one wants to see you in anything less revealing than a full-body straightjacket.] costume they picked for me and portraying their idea, I'm not being creative and expressing myself.[As uncreative as butchering the personalities of your 'bonds' that happen to be VILLAINS that you 'reformed'?] I am being somebody's doll.

Q: Lover of macaroni and cheese? BIG surprise there, guise! What sort of whale are you? Do you prefer krill or larger prey?

A: Fuck krill. I prefer humans. [She admits to being a whale!]

Q: Chell doesn't want to spend time with you anymore. We have more in common because we are both trapped like rats. You don't need her, so shes not your friend anymore. She told me, yes told me, that she would say goodbye and then that's it.

A: Oh really then how come I haven't heard any of this from her huh [Because it's not Chell, it's the voices in your head.]

Q: What are you up to these days, now that you're no longer in school?

A: Working on making a name for myself and proving that I CAN function in society. [orly?]


How to troll her[edit]

Tell her:

This is probably what she does every night.
  • Her guardians are trying to kill/hurt her. Nothing openly enrages her more.
  • She has imaginary friends.
  • She's fat.
  • Final Fantasy sucks.
  • Tell her Duke Nukem is the best character of any vidya, ever.
  • Yuna sucks cocks.
  • She has Schizophrenia, MPD and Aspergers.
  • GTFO the internets.
  • She'll never get a PS3.
  • She'll never look good in spandex.
  • PENIS.
  • VAGINA.
  • GO TO SCHOOL LOLOLOL.
  • YOU HAVE THE IQ OF A 2 YEAR OLD.
  • Lightning can go suck Cloud's non-existent cock.
  • Always compare Lightning with Cloud. Or say Lightning's THE female version of Cloud.
  • Say she loves Odd's cock.
  • Call Samus Metroid.
  • Call Link Zelda.
  • Say she cybers with Blinded by Tears.
  • Has a cyber orgy with Blinded by Tears/Odd
  • Remind her she eats Metroid's cunt out every night.
  • Tell her she'll always be inferior to any girl and no matter how many times she posts pics, no one will give a shit about her face.
  • She'll never be successful on her jewelry business.
  • Diss her guardians all the time.
  • Tell her Final Fantasy, Metroid, and Resident Evil all suck in comparison to Duke Nukem
  • Tell her that you're soul bonded to Duke Nukem.
  • Simply call her a monster: she takes it to heart and will remember it for years.

Her email: auroravirtuafighter@hotmail.com

Her skype: ladydarkartemis

Prequels and Expansions[edit]

See also[edit]

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Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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Starprincess801 is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

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