|This article needs a serious clean up|
| KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!
—XenaEilonwy, Best and most accurate introduction in a forum ever
Meet the land whale from New Jersey that is Starprincess801 (or XenaEilonwy or AuroraVirtuaFighter or Dark Lady Celebrian or Star/Aurora/Galadriel/whateverthefuckfancyname she wants); or you can just call her DONNA (which is her real name that she hates). This princess is not your typical 16 year old. Not only will uttering her real name hex you to eternity as she claims, she's special, because she can "Bond" with anime and video game characters, meaning she can talk/communicate/see/fuck them, just like real people. She has an entourage of more than 80 imagined white knights (or, as she likes calling them, her guardians) and a gazillion animu characters as her Attendants (over 200 animu ass kissers). She considers herself royalty on the internet and video game world, hence the attention whorish and narcissistic names she uses to cover up the hideous truth behind it. She normally spreads her fail on several forums and sites — that is, when she isn't looking for more innocent characters to bond. In reality, she's a batshit insane and fatass bitch who looks like an Italian man who refuses to take her meds, resulting in her babbling about video game stuff nobody gives a shit about, and thinking that the video game characters are real people. She's also a good (if a little high-calorie) buffet meal for trolls.
- 1 Bonding
- 2 Early Signs of Insanity
- 3 Sinking Deeper into Insanity
- 4 The Legend of the Spandex
- 5 OMG! I'M THE MARKER!!1one11one!
- 6 Defense Mechanisms
- 7 Selfish Spoiled Brat
- 8 Her reaction to this page
- 9 Considering a mental institution
- 10 Forum Trolled and Hacked
- 11 Gallery
- 12 Here She Dances!
- 13 Naming
- 14 TL;DR
- 15 The Moar You Know
- 16 Formspring quotes
- 17 How to troll her
- 18 Prequels and Expansions
- 19 See also
Most bonders you'd find on the internet bond with their fictional characters, but Star's creative ingenuity is so superb, people might die out of unworthiness of her greatness, so she decided to bond with existing video game characters instead.
In this video, you can see her talking and interacting with unseen entities
Around 3:40, she is fending off something that hits her face with a book. At around 7:15, she attempts to set the camera to show "everybody in the room" but Lighting (from FF13) keeps on interfering.
Whenever she's talking, she inserts the name of the character she "speaks for", making her look like she has Schizophrenia and MPD. Which might be true.
XenaEilonwy: 'Yuffie: Star dislikes Okami because the wolf can piss on enemies.'
Here are some of her Bonding explanations:
Being a Bonder
- A Bonder is nearly unstoppable with a game he or she is connected to, and I have a very strong connection to Soul Calibur. Reason for that is I can actually fuse, soul-wise, to the person (think of it as souped-up astral projection) who is my soulparticle, and it's as if we are one entity at that point.
- A Bonder is somebody who is connected to anime and videogames via their soul. This person can interact with those anime and videogame characters, who are actually the physical manifestations of the person's soul. Who these characters are cannot be controlled, either by the Bonder or the character (you cannot say "I like this guy a lot so I'm gonna make myself bond with him. If you're lucky you end up bonding to people that happen to be your personal favorites. In turn, the character cannot say "I have too much work, I can't bond with this person."). Whoever you bond to you are stuck with.
Interpretation: She disregards the characters' personalities according to the game/anime, meaning that, no matter what character she is "stuck with", he/she will love her always and wish to protect her against the evil fiends that lurk the internet.
- "Bonder's Burden - When a Bonder plays, or is exposed to a videogame, they are hit with things called vibes. Vibes are little jolts that come from within the soul, either from being close to something the Bonder is connected to (the game), or from actually FEELING the emotions and pain of the protagonist while playing the game."
- A Wow is how you know you are going to bond to a character. It is a series of jolts given off by either the sight or the mention of the character. A Wow is the feeling of the two lost halves of the soul reuniting to eachother. Penned (by me!) that because it is a floaty, euphoric feeling. Basically, if you have a Wow on someone and it won't drop, you are going to bond with them. Usually even if it does drop, it will come back sometime in the future (but you never know exactly when it'll come back or how long it'll take. Normally the first signs of a Wow, if the Wow drops, allows you to try to reclaim it yourself).
- WHAT YOU *DON'T* DO WITH A WOW:
- You DON'T push it away, even if you dislike the character. That is EXTREMELY dangerous for both of you.
- You DON'T hold it off once it reaches its peak. Once it reaches its peak, you bond. That's all there is to it. Though it can usually be held off a few minutes or an hour to a more convenient time (DO NOT HOLD IT OFF FOR A WHOLE DAY THOUGH, WHATEVER YOU DO).
- You DON'T try to make it drop yourself. If it is going to drop, it will drop on its own. You DON'T help it drop if you dislike the character.
- When a Wow reaches its peak, then it is time to bond with the character.
- Fun anecdote: Zack Fair's Wow reached its peak while she was at Homecoming, so she had "no choice" but to inaugurate him right there at Homecoming.
There are three categories for anime and videogames when it comes to bonding:
- I. Nonpixel: These are anime and videogames that take place in hidden parts of this universe. They are filmed, and never staged (it's like home videos) by characters who wish to film a videogame. However, once the game is announced via the game company, it is clear that game company has the rights to EVERYTHING about that game, which is why many people mistake nonpixels for being "not real" when they actually are and actually did happen in hidden parts of the universe... the game company and "common" human knowledge causes them to. It is also why said parts of the universe are hidden, or one reason why. Nobody really knows why they are covered-up. Examples of nonpixels include Final Fantasy, Inuyasha, and Valkyrie Profile.
- II. Pixel: These are anime and videogames that DO NOT take place in our universe, and are in fact drawn, created, and given voice actors and such by creators. However, when the character and world is drawn, an alternate universe opens up for it, where the characters go about their own lives. They are created and technically "not real," yes, but in ANOTHER universe, they are real. Without prior experience, you can usually tell a pixel from a nonpixel by watching for things such as overly-gory deaths and over-the-top elements without the use of magic. When a pixel is bonded to a "pic portal" must be opened in order to bring the pixel into this universe. Examples of pixels include Tomb Raider, Excel Saga, and Persona.
- III. Deep Pixel: These are videogames (anime can never be Deep Pixels) that are NOT REAL, in this universe or any other, and thus cannot be bonded to. You can usually tell a deep pixel by watching for overly-cartoonish elements. Examples of Deep Pixels include Mario, Starfy, and Kirby.
- A pic portal allows pixels to enter this universe. It is usually opened by a nonpixel. I hear certain Bonders, especially those whose first bonds were pixel, can open them themselves in the same way you would set off a nonpixel's transporter sensor. I still have yet to open one myself. I think I will test it tomorrow. Pokemon is actually interesting. It is an example of Interuniverse Alliances..the humans are pixels, the Pokemon are not. Pokemon are good first bonds, because they are the ONLY ones that can be controlled (you can control which Pokemon you want). They're good for seeing if you have the potential in the first place.
- Interuniverse Alliances are often-plot-inducing (e.g. Pokemon, Portal/Half-Life) alliances between pixels and nonpixels. Since videogame and anime characters tend to mingle with one-another, sometimes this mingling spreads to their games. Like in Brawl. But with Brawl, with all those Deep Pixels there, those were holograms operated by a Pic Cam, which is used if Deep Pixels need to be present in the interuniverse alliance.
Early Signs of Insanity
Star started showing signs of insanity at the tender age of 11, where in a Pokemon site, she firmly believed that POKEMONS WERE NOT CREATED, THEY WERE FUCKING DISCOVERED BY THE NINTENDO GUYS!!11 She even owns 85 of them and has all the legendaries! Not only did she own Pokemon but she even dated some of them! This clearly shows her mental state at an early age is just fucking disturbing.
Sinking Deeper into Insanity
Being the retarded little fuck that she is, her obsession did not limit her to pokemons, but extended to other video games as well, especially the Final Fantasy series. Eventually, she called herself the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Princess. Other video games she has raped are Silent Hill, Metroid, DoA, Resident Evil, Starcraft, Portal, and many more shitty games. She has ruined many characters with every bond she had, especially the character's designated personality. She likes to change the character's already-established characteristics, altering the character's story, making it her own mary sue, which is like a big slap to the face of the character designers. When someone calls her out saying that the character that is "speaking for" her doesn't act that way, she'll respond with "That's what <insert character name here> said, and s/he's standing right next to me", which always results in a facepalm.
—defending her GUARDIANS against fiends who say they're not REAL.
The Holocaust/Sin's Reign
A time for Star that she compares with the Holocaust (LOLOLOL BECAUSE GETTING YOUR IMAGINARY FRIENDS BANNED IS THE SAME AS MASS MURDERING REAL PEOPLE), and later named Sin's Reign. On a chat, Star's "Guardians" were banned. Feeling full of butthurt and AIDS, she wrote many emo poems to the people who caused the ban. She would Role-play these people as villians. She finally threatened to cut herself and they were allowed back. She believes the people who caused the ban were trying to murder her and named them "Sin" or "Sinspawns", as in the game Final Fantasy X.
—Because everytime someone spams a forum with poetry that could bring down a horse with the sheer volume of suck contained within, a death god cries. (And right after the tears run out they throw themselves into a meat grinder.)
May 04, 2009
This was the day Donna was banhammered from a chat. She bawwwed about how she always treats everyone right. She claimed her imaginary friends had scared the admin into banning her because Star's imaginary friends could beat anyone up with text. She posted how terrible the people were on many forums and told everyone how she threw a fit over this even though the internet doesn't affect her in any way.
The Legend of the Spandex
Once upon a time, Donna finally had the spandex of beauty that she had been looking for for 5 (or maybe 6 since bonders can't do math) years delivered. She put it on and beheld herself in all her glory, and told everyone how good it made her feel, and that she barely recognized herself. But being the beloved princess that she is, and as in video games and fairy tales, an unthinkable thing happened. As soon as she took the garment off, it ripped. She then informed EVERYONE in the kingdom how it ripped and how sad it made her. It was like losing something very precious! As in any fairy tale, those FIENDS who told her it ripped because she was fat were told they never had something as precious as the spandex she only had for one day and could never understand. She reasoned that the ripping was caused by the unworthiness of the material to touch her sacred skin, and not because she is fat, since she only has muscles.
- Epilogue: She has found a new material for her precious suit, and will be gracing the internets once she gets ahold of them. And the Star is once again a happy princess, and all is well within the Star's world.
After being trolled, breaking her Suits and having soulhurtz from not being able to "Bond" with a video game character, she took a hiatus. For THREE days. She came back and was then armed with the knowledge of how to counter people with The Chell Defense! Which is basically replying with "...................", because that makes her look totally smart.
OMG! I'M THE MARKER!!1one11one!
One day, Star whined that on every site she goes to, she ends up having a nemesis. She then had an EPIPHANY based from Dead Space...SHE WAS THE MARKER ~ someone or something that MAGICALLY attracts FIENDS!
—Someone trying to knock some sense into her, obviously a lost cause
One of Star's very distinct abilities is to completely miss the point of an argument. She also tends to ignore what the others are saying when she wants to prove a point. A point that she's too stupid to back up, making her look much more stupid than she already is. She then resorts to either:
a.) changing the subject
b.) replying with something farfetched and completely ignoring the post directed to her
—speaks the truth
d.) inserting her guardians into the conversation, i.e.:
Reasonable Person: You live in a fantasy world. Donna: Samus: STOP ABUSING HER I'LL KILL YOU
e.) pulling out the "YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME WHY ARE YOU PICKING ON A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL?" card
—Stating a fact
—because being 16 makes it okay to act like a retard
f.) replying with "...." (The Chell Defense) , because it would make her look she's ignoring the post entirely (later revealing through her guardians she has been bawwwing in front of the computer from all the internet bullies ganging up on a 16 year old poor widdle gurl all this time).
—being as smart as ever.
Also, Star has this habit of treating anyone she meets the first time her best friend, because she's so fucking gullible and stupid. Not affected by the internets? Why bawww?
Selfish Spoiled Brat
Now Star, being the princess that she is, always gets what she wants, or she'll throw a tantrum. Just as what she wrote in this tl;dr rant, she is such an important individual amongst everybody else that it is a mortal sin that she should sit on a wooden chair! God forbid she strain her heavenly ass on something so unsophisticated as a wooden chair, unlike her throne, which broke due to her AWESOMENESS! And also for her Songstress outfit that her parents had been depriving her of! How could they! And when her Dad left? Who's going to buy her important stuff now?! How selfish of him! Do they not know the importance of her care to herself?! Can they not spend their money which they get from Social Security alone because of her retired father and unemployed mother on something as IMPORTANT as a $100+ material for her outfit? Is it so hard to spend some social security cash for your self absorbed daughter?! How can they be so inconsiderate? She's a PRINCESS, for fuck's sake!
Also, Star is superior to everybody else, so she can talk shit about her own mother. She doesn't care about how she spends the money she gets from Social Security. She doesn't care about the government, nor the recession, nor the fact that it's much wiser to SAVE money in case of emergencies. There's nothing more important than the things she wants. Hell, she doesn't even know how the government works, or why she gets the money. She says she'll give money to charity, so that makes it A-OKAY if she spend most of it on unnecessary things. She only cares about getting money, buying stuff that she wants, and does not care for anything else besides that and herself. Her imaginary guardians, herself, her prized possessions, herself, her imaginary guardians, herself... you get the pattern.
—Such a perfect example of a good American citizen
—BECAUSE VIDYA GAEM CHARACTERS ARE REALLY GOOD ROLE MODELS RIGHT?
—Shadowflare, slapping her with the FACTS
Spending money you didn't earn has never been so simple.
The goverment came very close into taking away her stack of money(Read:$37,000) that her dad had saved up. The only way to save it was to put the money in her name, I wonder how long thats going to last seeing how she is now 18.
Alone in the Dark
Star holds the firm belief that, being a princess, she is therefore naturally beautiful. She does not need any make up or anything that might enhance her fugly facial features — she's a princess! Boys run after her alluring beauty.
—...probably to capture her and charge admission to look at the world's only talking hippo.
—Yes, because they probably didn't exist too
She also believes that she's a muscular girl, and is not, in fact, a fucking whale. She refuses to accept the truth that her prized possession (a.k.a. the spandex) was destroyed because of the ocean of lard in her body that she insisted on trying to fit into the spandex.
—Yep, she's totally not an attention whore
FUCK YOU I'M AN ASSPIE-RING SUPERHERO
Star loves humanity very very much. She's even willing to turn into a cybernetically-enhanced human to save humanity one day. She works out every day and learns martial arts from her guardians. She even has Lara Croft and Samus Aran as her personal trainers for "reflex training"!
So her spandex was worn for a reason! IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN A SUPERHERO ALL SUMMER!...over the internet.
—Awww, how sad.
Isn't her life such a sad story? Like those typical superhero plots, school (Phaaze) is keeping her from doing superhero stuff and being a superhero altogether.
Donna also has a weapons fetish. She just loves guns and weapons — she's willing to make love to them.
—Yeah, because it's perfectly normal for crazy hambeasts to collect guns and stare at them.
To anyone who may be concerned: issue a permit for her to carry a gun after taking a safe distance — we do want another school shooting happening sometime in the future.
Aside from being a superhero and crimefighter,
Donna apparently wants to become a bounty hunter, since, you know, bounty hunting is very easy and is a decent job nowadays. It'll be easy for our little princess, who's also deathly afraid of school and yelling people.
The crazy is just spewing out of her fingertips.
UPDATE: Reality raped her in the ass, so some sense seemed to have gotten through her delusion of being a bounty hunter.
— Do it faggot.
I KNOW KUNG FU
Aside from being a bounty hunter, archeologist, superhero, princess, artist, and queen of the goddamn universe, Donna is also a martial artist. She diligently watches videos and "trains" with her guardians as her teachers. She's very SRS of becoming a martial artist as her chosen career, and claims that she gets her strength from the people who troll her, saying that she only gets more motivated every time someone tells her she can't be anything.
Donna also has no plans whatsoever about going to college, or having a career that's actually applicable in the REAL world.
—because beating up people will pay your bills, right? And if you're focusing on your muscles, why do you still look like a hippo?
People were actually trying to help her and talk some sense into her (as seen in the given link), but as evidenced in the quotes above, she listens to no one but her "bonds" or herself. Everybody else is just trying to troll her.
Some monologues our Star likes to do when no one's paying attention to her in the cbox.
XenaEilonwy: You know what? Nobody is going to tell me I can't be a bounty hunter. XenaEilonwy: Because being a bounty hunter is one of the most important things to me in my life. And the danger only makes me wanna do it all the more XenaEilonwy: Because you know what? I wanted to be an artist. But while the artists are sitting around making pretty pictures, SOMEONE needs to deal a slice of justice to the people who need it. XenaEilonwy: I may be going to a special school in three towns over soon. :\ XenaEilonwy: After that teacher who stared at me like I was Pyramid Head and the other one who called kids "losers" and "turds," I don't trust teachers at regular high schools. XenaEilonwy: I'm trying to be a bounty hunter :\ XenaEilonwy: Samus: Lara is now screaming at me all the time about "YOU STOLE MY PROTEGEE SAMUS!!" XenaEilonwy: ...But I'm both your protegees. I still treat archaeology with an unbelievable reverence XenaEilonwy: I know. Samus is one. That's all I need. XenaEilonwy: Did I ever mention she's my hero? I'm sure I mentioned it at least 40 times but just in case I didn't, THIS WOMAN IS *FUCKING AMAZING*
Xena likes to be trolled
XenaEilonwy: Only reason I won't leave is 'cause the bitchery didn't start immediately. I left this other site where the same thing happened 'cause they didn't wait a month to start being asses. XenaEilonwy: Creepypasta's fast become more to me than just a place to go for a scare. Tower: A place to get trolled mercilessly? XenaEilonwy: No, a place to hang out with people. XenaEilonwy: There ARE a few smart people here, you know. Bekah, Mangles, Phone... Tower: Oh they're trolling you too. XenaEilonwy: The trolling only started after a month, you know. By a month I'd already become attached to this place XenaEilonwy: Besides...I kind of...like it XenaEilonwy: Yuna: ..You LIKE it? o_o XenaEilonwy: Yeah, ya know XenaEilonwy: I like going on commando missions to hunt stalkers down XenaEilonwy: Bounty hunter practice, you know XenaEilonwy: I like the thrill. It's like being caught up in a really good RP
Special Bonus Round: Donna "confronted" the writer of this article. Then drama ensued.[TL;DR] [Fuck it. I have nothing better to do anyway.] 0
Her reaction to this page
—Lightning, who's last name is Farron and first name is Claire, according to FFXIII
As you can see, this page is indeed a huge blank white page.
XenaEilonwy: Lightning: Star, do you mind going on ED for a bit, please? XenaEilonwy: Yes. >> XenaEilonwy: Samus: Star, we kinda need you to, all right? It's approved for now. It's on the Samus Approved Sites list right now okay (more) XenaEilonwy: I'm not going on ED you guys. XenaEilonwy: I got too much to deal with XenaEilonwy: What can an ED page do to me? It can't do anything to me that Phaaze actually CAN do, that's for sure XenaEilonwy: The only thing that can kill me is A. Phaaze or B. Intercision. So give it up. :\ XenaEilonwy: Samus: I'm coming up with more plans to burn it down XenaEilonwy: ...SAMMY, it's giving me more publicity for the site! D: XenaEilonwy: Samus: I'm not burning the whole site XenaEilonwy: Samus: Just Star's page. XenaEilonwy: SAM-MYYYYYYYYYYYYY! D: XenaEilonwy: Rikku: Samus, she wants it there because it gives her site publicity.
Protip: If you are told to stfu and gtfo, it's for a good reason.
Considering a mental institution
For the entire summer of '09, Star has bawwwed about going to school because school is scary. Whenever someone would troll her, she would inform them that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way, because she's dealing with a terrible moment in her life. She even claimed she would die in 5 months because of her school phobia. What is the cause of such a phobia? DETENTION and LOUD NOISES! She even had to go see a doctor for her phobia, after which she came on the internet to beg everyone to advise her whether she should go to a day-hospital or not, day-hospital being a crazy asylum with a pretty name.
- She is currently still deciding if she should do a stay at home tutor or do the day-hospital because she doesn't want to lose her precious Social Security money for her video game shit. Some links about it are here and here.
As with all attention whores, the principle of "I'M LEAVING FOREVAR;be back later" applies to her too.
—She was back on and posting in two hours as if nothing happened.
She bawwwed on her hugbox of how broken she is, but even her hugbox is getting fed up with her drama.
—trying to tell her the truth is futile.
Donna has the most humongous ego and victim complex you would ever encounter. She has delusions of being a popular beauty in her school, claims she isn't fat, and thinks she's a superhero. She bitches about people who are actually trying to help her, and even uses her guardians to tell them off.
Forum Trolled and Hacked
Star's precious little forum was "trolled" and "hacked" by a single person because Star's a fucking idiot. In actuality, all that happened was one person posted a bunch of lulzy remarks about Star and flooded the board with a rant calling her out on her idiocy. When Star contacted people to help clean up the mess because she can't do it herself, she was stupid enough to contact and give admin access to the best friend of the person that "trolled" her forum, and thus, it was "hacked" and all the member accounts were deleted.
Here She Dances!
(Take note of the long flowing locks of armpit hair, that move gently in the breeze as she twirls like a cunt.)
With each and every video game Star messes up, she comes up with new terms for things from those video games or whatever else. Here are some examples:
- Sin or Sinspawn, name for her enemies - Final Fantasy X
- GLaDOS, name for her enemies - Portal
- Phazon/Phaaze, name for school - Metroid
- SA-X, name for her impostors - Metroid
- K2(Kefka 2), name for her mother - Final Fantasy VI
- JP(Jenova Puppet), name for her father - Final Fantasy VII
- Dress Spheres, her cosplay outfits - Final Fantasy X-2
- Suits, her cosplay outfits - Metroid
- Training, "exercising"
- Throne, her chair
- Temple, her room
...And the list goes on, since even with the recent drop in activity she still makes up new terms and expects people to understand them.
- Starprincess801 is a retarded bonder bitch.
- She's spoiled, as she gets whatever she wants courtesy of her daddy's Social Security checks.
- She has an IQ over 130, but can't seem to act like a normal, socially acceptable human being.
- When things get sticky for her, she has one of her guardians speak for her so she doesn't look like a complete bitch, which obviously doesn't work.
- She looks like a man.
- She takes everything and anything on the internet seriously.
- Closet lesbian.
The Moar You Know
- She is into vore.
- On August 29, 2009 at 20:14 our hero said,
"I still don't know how to masturbate so I guess I can't do that to RE vore." -Donna
- Even her OWN mother thinks she's crazy.
"Now, I am expecting mom to yell at me for being a bit of a smartass, but she doesn't yell at me for that: she yells at me because I mentioned the FF outfits.She starts yelling at me about how I'm too obsessed, and how I'm crazy and selfish, and not listening to my side of the story, and butchering my roots and my bonds, and generally making me look like the piece of dirt I probably look like to everyone else. She even said "I'm going to take you to a mental institution so you can see what it's going to be like."...
- Her mother and a classmate once wrote to Dr. Phil to seek help. It didn't push through, which only goes to show that not even Dr. Phil can help her.
- She claims she "reformed" several Final Fantasy villains and other villains as well, then turned them into her guardians. Even that mama's boy, Sephiroth. (What will Sephirothslave say about this?)
- She has a school phobia. She's so scared of going to school she thinks she might die young.
- SHE HAD ONCE HAD EVEN THE MOST MINISCULE SEMBLANCE OF SANITY. But unfortunately it got lost into oblivion.
- She says she doesn't like boys, sex, and the like, but secretly fantasizes about video game characters.
"This week's just been...awkward, and awful. And I feel like I've been being a bad girl this week, and very out-of-character. First of all on Tuesday I had an UNBELIEVABLY gross thought about my much-fangirled attendant Siegfried Schtauffen. And I spent the rest of the night wondering why the heck something like THAT would come to my Jun-Kazama-esque-pure-and-innocent mind."
- She also says Yuna's from Canada. wtf. More like in between US and Canada. Oh, and Kingdom Hearts too. But she says they're more like in Canada.
- She's never played most of the games she talks about.
- SHE HASN'T COMBED HER HAIR SINCE SHE WAS 7 WTF.
- She also has a 30 year old brother who got arrested for a sexual offense.
- Apparently, Star has a real, human friend (that actually exists and can interact with other people too). Only one though, who is also her MASSIVE hugbox and cunt licker.
- For a while, she had an internet boyfriend. He LOOOOOOOOOOOVED to write imaginary stories where him and a few of their emo friends had orgies. Even he turned out not to like her. He was just pretending, like Xena/Star/Aurora/Donna pretends to lick Metroid's cunt every night. To some, this man turned into a hero, crushing the soul of a mighty dragon-fairy-vampire (she's an otherkin too guys). But it turns out this kid was just a whiny emo with MPD like Xena/Star/Aurora/Donna. As seen here in this preview of their romance novel:
—- Xena's white knight and EX boyfriend, Odd/K Nundrum
- Unknown to those people, there was apparently a stalker claim issued by this man. This man claims that someone from this site knows her physical address. Which was crap anyways. Funny how she firmly believed it.
- Since Donna got butthurt from being bullied on a site, she now tries to SPREAD THE WORD OF SOULBONDING ALL OVER THE INTERNETS.
- Being all butthurt from the drama she always attracts and brings upon herself, she has finally decided to leave said site where she gets "bullied". On the TV Tropes forum, she tells people that the admin of the site (the one she left/will leave) is her best friend, and only stayed because of her, while saying on another post that the site is stupid/full of asses.
—some "best friend" you are, huh.
- She likes to start debates or get into debates without having full knowledge about the topic. Being a princess, she has all the money she needs to buy anything she wants, SO DOWNLOADING THINGS IS BAAAAD. But AMVs are absolutely acceptable, because she said so. Having logic and reason thrown into her in a thread, she decided to stay away, since she's allergic to both.
- She also likes to defend obvious trolls.
- She's a closet lesbian. One can also notice she has a huge amount of female guardians and fewer male ones (who actually look more female than the real females, anyway; e.g. Cloud)
XenaEilonwy: Okay so if there's a sex scene between Shepherd and Ashley XenaEilonwy: What if Shepherd is a girl XenaEilonwy: Tifa: ..Then there is no sex scene but there is a way you can be les with Liara XenaEilonwy: IMPLIED THREESOME IN MASS EFFECT
- She has a fanfiction about second graders who have a lesbian relationship and also says they have "les yay!" but claims it's not sex whatsoever.
- Because she has insecurities the size of a galaxy, she got jealous of a friend who got compliments instead of her.
Q: You like dancing! I like jazz dance..but whats your favorite? Where do you take lessons! I think dance is amazing, its lovely to see someone doing something they love.
A: Lyrical is my absolute favorite but I also like modern, contemporary, and contemporary/lyrical jazz. I don't go to studios anymore. I teach myself, with some tutoring from 3 dance-inclined soulbonds. [Right, your imaginary friends can teach you to dance just like they can train you to be a bounty hunter.] I despise studios--if I'm going to be dancing someone else's choereography in a (most likely very skimpy)[No one wants to see you in anything less revealing than a full-body straightjacket.] costume they picked for me and portraying their idea, I'm not being creative and expressing myself.[As uncreative as butchering the personalities of your 'bonds' that happen to be VILLAINS that you 'reformed'?] I am being somebody's doll.
Q: Lover of macaroni and cheese? BIG surprise there, guise! What sort of whale are you? Do you prefer krill or larger prey?
A: Fuck krill. I prefer humans. [She admits to being a whale!]
Q: Chell doesn't want to spend time with you anymore. We have more in common because we are both trapped like rats. You don't need her, so shes not your friend anymore. She told me, yes told me, that she would say goodbye and then that's it.
A: Oh really then how come I haven't heard any of this from her huh [Because it's not Chell, it's the voices in your head.]
Q: What are you up to these days, now that you're no longer in school?
A: Working on making a name for myself and proving that I CAN function in society. [orly?]
How to troll her
- Her guardians are trying to kill/hurt her. Nothing openly enrages her more.
- She has imaginary friends.
- She's fat.
- Final Fantasy sucks.
- Tell her Duke Nukem is the best character of any vidya, ever.
- Yuna sucks cocks.
- She has Schizophrenia, MPD and Aspergers.
- GTFO the internets.
- She'll never get a PS3.
- She'll never look good in spandex.
- GO TO SCHOOL LOLOLOL.
- YOU HAVE THE IQ OF A 2 YEAR OLD.
- Lightning can go suck Cloud's non-existent cock.
- Always compare Lightning with Cloud. Or say Lightning's THE female version of Cloud.
- Say she loves Odd's cock.
- Call Samus Metroid.
- Call Link Zelda.
- Say she cybers with Blinded by Tears.
- Has a cyber orgy with Blinded by Tears/Odd
- Remind her she eats Metroid's cunt out every night.
- Tell her she'll always be inferior to any girl and no matter how many times she posts pics, no one will give a shit about her face.
- She'll never be successful on her jewelry business.
- Diss her guardians all the time.
- Tell her Final Fantasy, Metroid, and Resident Evil all suck in comparison to Duke Nukem
- Tell her that you're soul bonded to Duke Nukem.
- Simply call her a monster: she takes it to heart and will remember it for years.
Her email: email@example.com
Her skype: ladydarkartemis
Prequels and Expansions
- Her LiveJournal Fucking finally.
- Her shitty Fansite nobody ever goes to
- Another site of hers that got raided by trolls
- Her hugbox
- Her TV Tropes Srsly. You just had to rape even Tolkien characters?
- Her soulbonder "blog" on TV Tropes
- Her Formspring YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO GUISE.
- Current forum she hangs out with
- Her Jewtube
- Her jewelry design site
- Her Skype is ladydarkartemis
- Her Steam is StarryEyedArwen
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