Steele Dossier

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Christopher Steele, plagiarist and paid shill.
The contents of the Steele Dossier.

The Steele Dossier refers to an untitled erotic fanfic about President Donald J. Trump that was written by a 54-year-old former-MI6 agent named Christopher David Steele and funded entirely thanks to liberal retards who stupidly donated a collective billion dollars to narrowly-dodged bullet Hillary Clinton's hilariously failed 2016 presidential campaign. As one would expect of Hitlery Cunton, the money that she didn't waste paying Gloria Allred to get a bunch of women to falsely accuse Donald Trump of sexual assault was instead spent commisioning a disgraceful Britfaginese ex-spook to plagiarize an explicit fanfic about Donald Trump and some Russian hookers from the fine anons on 4chan's /pol/.

To sum up the plot of Christopher Steele's fanfic: The year is 2013 and future-president Donald Trump is on a lovely vacation to the wonderful land of unicycle-riding bears where he is tasked with a divine mission from God – to rent the presidential suite in the Ritz Carlton Hotel where Barack and Michelle Obama had previously stayed and defile the bed that they had slept in by employing several Russian prostitutes to piss all over it while he watches and babbles on and on about how much he hates the blacks and Mexicans.

Hilariously, as soon as the libtard Democrats learned of the existence of the "dossier" from CNN and Buzzfeed in early 2017, they immediately believed that the whole fucking thing was real and actually thought that it would go on to become the salacious scandal that would bring down President Donald Trump and save America from 8 beautiful years of peace and prosperity. In reality, the dossier was absolute bullshit and, as of 2018, is still the single greatest act of trolling that the denizens of 4chan's /pol/ have ever gotten away with.

From the ashes of the short-lived "PissGate" non-scandal, it has slowly been revealed that the Obama administration, the Democratic party and the corrupt FBI lied to the courts and abused the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act or FISA in order to spy on the Trump campaign in a scandal that surpasses even Watergate and Zaigergate. What they never expected, however, was that Donald Trump would win over actual American voters and become President despite the fact that literally everything was rigged against him.

The Making of a Donald Trump Fanfic[edit]

Rick Wilson still believes that he should be taken seriously after stating that all Trump supporters are basement-dwelling weeaboo virgins.
Evan McMuffin
Failed presidential candidate and dead loser John McBraintumour.
Traitorous sellout James Comey.
Jeb! was behind it all.

In 2016, users of 4chan's /pol/ decided to fuck with people by making up a completely outlandish story about Donald Trump hiring prostitutes to urinate all over a bed that Barack and Michelle Obama once slept in while on a diplomatic trip to Russia. Eventually someone had the brilliant idea to send their erotic fanfiction to anti-Trump Republican political strategist Rick Wilson and attempt to pass it off as being fact. Much to /pol/'s surprise, Rick Wilson turned out to be so fucking retarded that he actually believed the story and then proceeded to forward /pol/'s amateur fanfic to professional cuck and former presidential loser John McCain, who in turn Archive today-ico.png forwarded it to FBI director James Comey who then ensured that the information was passed on to numerous other security agencies that included the United States' CIA and Britain's MI6.

Mom come quick, my fan fiction got published by the CIA


—4chan, informing his mum that he finally did something right Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Unbeknownst to the #NeverTrump Republicucks, the Democratic National Committee and Killary Cunton herself had hired an "Opposition Research Firm" called Fusion GPS to gather information that could potentially end Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Unfortunately for Hillary, Fusion GPS decided that they were too fucking lazy to actually do their job and—instead of conducting actual opposition research—went to a virulently anti-Trump MI6 agent named Christopher David Steele and asked him to give them something to work with.

Christopher Steele then decided to do what anyone in his situation would do – he did a Google search for damning info on Donald Trump and found himself in a thread on 4chan's /pol/ where he discovered the /pol/acks' horribly written fan fiction and ultimately decided that the "accusations" within were totally not made up and were at least 100% worthy of being included in an official dossier on the "Russian hacking" of the 2016 Presidential Election.


#GoldenShowerGate: Pissing in the Ocean of Piss[edit]

The sex tape in question.
Christopher Steele takes his swirlface family on the run to avoid taking a polonium dildo up the arse.
You cannot stop the GoldenShower satellite, Mr. Steele!

On January 10, 2017, leading fake news network CNN first Archive today-ico.png reported the existence of a highly-classified "dossier" that detailed how President Elect Donald Trump was blackmailed by the Russian government and Vladimir Putin into running for president of the United States of America and infiltrating the U.S. Government in order to avoid the release of a supposed "Pee Pee Tape" that showed him getting Russian Government-backed whores to piss all over a bed in a Moscow hotel room.

Later the same day, BuzzFeed discovered that the dossier's author was an MI6 agent named Christopher Steele and they then proceeded to send him $300,000 in order to obtain a full copy of the entire, unredacted "dossier". Not wanting to admit that they had been scammed out of $300,000 and despite knowing full well that the dossier was probably complete and utter bullshit after they actually got to read it, BuzzFeed still decided to Archive today-ico.png go ahead and publish it – their "reasoning", of course, being that people should be free to read the information and make up their own minds on whether to dismiss it as more fake news bullshit or to be retarded and actually fall for the most obvious act of trolling since the Jews made up the holocaust.

The allegations are unverified, and the report contains errors.


—BuzzFeed, pointing out their complete lack of journalistic integrity

After realizing that his cover had been compromised and his powerword would soon be revealed to the world, Christopher Steele began acting like a complete drama queen by immediately moving his entire family out of their home and then telling his IRL friends that he feared that "Moscow" (i.e. BuzzFeed) was going to send out a hitman to assassinate him for plagiarizing bad fan fiction from 4chan.

A source close to Mr Steele said on Wednesday night that he now fears a prompt and potentially dangerous backlash against him from Moscow.


—Chris thought BuzzFeed would kill him for scamming them out of $300,000 Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Meanwhile, Rick Wilson was attempting to claim that he DINDU NUFFIN on Twitter when he accidentally ended up admitting his involvement in the phony dossier.

You're wrong if you believe

1. What we had came from /pol.
2. That I was Buzzfeed's source.

Try again, boys.



—Rick Wilson, owning himself on Twitter Archive today-ico.png (archive)

The Steele Dossier: The Official /pol/ Version About missing Pics
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Nobody cares, Moby[edit]

90s has-been musician Moby.

Musician and professional has-been Moby is now claiming to have information on Donald Trump's ties to Russia and claims that the dossier is 100% real.

They were like, “This is the Manchurian Candidate, like [Russian President Vladimir Putin] has a Russian agent as the President of the United States.” So they passed on some information to me and they said, like, “Look, you have more of a social media following than any of us do, can you please post some of these things just in a way that … sort of puts it out there.”


—Moby, pretending to still be relevant Archive today-ico.png (archive)

It’s really disturbing and it’s going to get quite a lot darker. Like the depths of the Trump family in business and their involvement with organized crime, sponsored terrorism, Russian oligarchs, it’s really dark. I guess we should all, like, fasten our seat belts and hold on.



You Are FAKE NEWS[edit]

Obama Taps Trump[edit]

Barry the Cable Guy, abusing his position and power worse than Nixon and Zaiger.
James Clapper goes on TV to lie.
James Comey, looking totally honest.

In March, 2017, it came out that former president Barack Obama and his corrupt administration had wiretapped Trump Tower during the 2016 Presidential Election in what should have universally been considered a bigger political scandal than Watergate – unfortunately, the Lügenpresse was so unwilling to allow Black Jesus' legacy to be tarnished that they doubled down on their lies and began desperately attempting to paint Trump as a paranoid lunatic who was peddling right wing conspiracy theories.

Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my "wires tapped" in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!


—President Trump Archive today-ico.png (archive)

How low has President Obama gone to tapp [sic] my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!


—President Trump Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Neither Barack Obama nor any White House official under Obama ever ordered surveillance of any U.S. citizen.


—Kevin Lewis, lying for Obongo Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Unfortunately for le olde media, Trump was not wrong and the Obama administration had wiretapped Trump Tower. In order to play it safe, dumbfuck Obongo and Crooked Hillary actually thought that they'd go through the trouble of actually attempting to do everything by the books for once and would actually go through the trouble to obtain a warrant before wiretapping the opposing party's candidate – unlike stupid Richard Nixon who forgot to get a warrant before he sent his goons to Watergate.

In order to get a warrant, Obama got FBI director and Hillary shill James Comey to obtain FISA warrants against several members of the Trump campaign. FISA, or the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, is intended for conducting surveillance on terrorists and spies, but Comey attempted to obtain the warrants under the false pretense that members of the Trump Campaign were "colluding" with "Russia". As evidence of this, Comey presented the Steele Dossier despite the fact that he was totally aware that it was bullshit that had been paid for by Hillary herself.

It was salacious and unverified.


—Comey, on the dossier that he used to obtain a FISA warrant Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Hillary Screams "I DINDU NUFFIN!"[edit]

Marc E. Elias, the Clinton stooge who hired Fusion GPS to make the bullshit dossier.

In June, 2017, it Archive today-ico.png finally became Archive today-ico.png public knowledge that the Steele Dossier was funded by the Democrats and Hitlery Cunton – which, of course, was following months of Archive today-ico.png explicit Archive today-ico.png denials from Cunty Clinton and all of her bitches.

From my perspective, it didn’t come out before the election as we all know.


—Hillary, doing what she does best Archive today-ico.png (archive)

The real Russia scandal? Clinton campaign paid for the fake Russia dossier, then lied about it & covered it up.


—Sarah Sanders

Wire Tapp Confirmed[edit]

In September, 2017, CNN finally Archive today-ico.png admitted that the U.S. government wiretapped Trump Campaign chairman Paul Manafort.

Going the Gawker Way[edit]

Ben Smith, showing off what a soon-to-be homeless faggot looks like.
Michael Cohen bears his fangs against BuzzFeed.

On January 9, 2018, a year after BuzzFeed originally published the dossier, editor-in-chief Ben Smith decided to reflect on the publication's retarded decision to publish a bullshit document that contained massive amounts of factual inaccuracies and blatant libel. Ben claimed that he was "proud" of the decision and that the American people are so fucking stupid that they actually need a liberal propaganda rag like BuzzFeed to tell them what to think because they just aren't intelligent enough to actually think for themselves.

I’m Proud We Published the Trump-Russia Dossier


—Ben Smith is proud of publishing libelous bullshit Archive today-ico.png (archive)

A year of government inquiries and blockbuster journalism has made clear that the dossier is unquestionably real news.


—Ben Smith, asking for it Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Without the dossier, Americans would have found it difficult to understand the actions of their elected representatives and government officials.


—Ben Smith, calling you retarded

Following Smith's brazen display of arseholery, Michael Cohen—Donald Trump's long time attorney who had also been libelled in the dossier—decided that he had finally had enough of SmugFeed's unrelenting BS and proceeded to file a defamation lawsuit against them.

Enough is enough of the #fake #RussianDossier. Just filed a defamation action against @BuzzFeedNews for publishing the lie filled document on @POTUS @realDonaldTrump and me!


—Michael Cohen, showing BuzzFeed who's boss Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Prove You're Not A Яusskieбot![edit]

Dianne Feinstein, showing off one of her many non-human appendages.

Several days after the rise of the Twitter-favicon.png #ReleaseTheMemo campaign began, Commiefornia Senator and fossilized Jewess Dianne Feinstein teamed up with California Congressman Adam Schiff to write a letter begging Facebook and Twitter to do more to censor the hashtag on their respective platforms – their excuse being that the hashtag was certainly being spread by Russian Bots because reasons.

Unfortunately for Dianne and Adam, the hashtag was not being spread by "Russian Bots" but by real Muricans who weren't about to take any shit from two losers from a pinko-run state that's unwilling to follow federal law or cooperate with the federal government. To show the Democrats who's boss, the ragtag crew of Trumpkins and still-butthurt Bernie Sanders supporters who wanted to #ReleaseTheMemo proceeded to destroy the rainforest and take a bunch of selfies to prove that they were neither Russians nor bots.

I AM NOT A RUSSIAN BOT! About missing Pics
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Nice going, libtards, you've just helped destroy the rainforest.

A Little Schiff Hits The Fan[edit]

Little Adam Schiff, professional fearmongler.
What Schiff actually claims that the release of the Nunes Memo will lead to.

But it is impeaching the FBI, and the problem with this, and this is I think at the heart of the department’s concern–is if you have a neighbor who’s buying fertilizer, lots of fertilizer, but has no yard and you have concerns about it and you want to call the FBI, you’re now going to wonder ‘Is that FBI going to hold my name in confidence or this information in confidence, what if this becomes politicized?’ Sources are going to dry up because of what the Republicans on this committee are doing now.


—Adam Schiff, fearmongering Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Little Adam Schiff, who is desperate to run for higher office, is one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington, right up there with Comey, Warner, Brennan and Clapper! Adam leaves closed committee hearings to illegally leak confidential information. Must be stopped!


—God-Emperor Trump Archive today-ico.png (archive)

The Democrats' Memo[edit]

Adam Schiff is mad that the Republicans didn't release enough classified information.

Steele, Christopher Steele[edit]

Christopher David Steele is a 54-year-old MI6 spook turned slanderer-for-hire who was paid by Jeb Bush to dig up dirt on The Donald prior to his inauguration as the 45th God-Emperor of Everything.


See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

"We did it, Michelle! We blew the Democratic Party's reputation to Hell! Ooga booga!"
What all of these "news" articles look like.

/pol/ Writes Sexy Trump Fan Fiction


Obama Wiretaps Trump Tower, Media Gaslights Trump

Hillary Clinton Funded the Bullshit Dossier

One Year of Bullshit


The Bot Conspiracy

Full of Schiff


Libtard Media Damage Control

Fifty Dossiers Gayer

The Demoncunts' Counter-Memo


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[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...]

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