The Steele Dossier refers to an untitled erotic fanfic about President Donald J. Trump that was written by a 54-year-old former-MI6 agent named Christopher David Steele and funded entirely thanks to liberal retards who stupidly donated a collective billion dollars to narrowly-dodged bullet Hillary Clinton's hilariously failed 2016 presidential campaign. As one would expect of Hitlery Cunton, the money that she didn't waste paying Gloria Allred to get a bunch of women to falsely accuse Donald Trump of sexual assault was instead spent commisioning a disgraceful Britfaginese ex-spook to plagiarize an explicit fanfic about Donald Trump and some Russian hookers from the fine anons on 4chan's /pol/.
To sum up the plot of Christopher Steele's fanfic: The year is 2013 and future-president Donald Trump is on a lovely vacation to the wonderful land of unicycle-riding bears where he is tasked with a divine mission from God – to rent the presidential suite in the Ritz Carlton Hotel where Barack and Michelle Obama had previously stayed and defile the bed that they had slept in by employing several Russian prostitutes to piss all over it while he watches and babbles on and on about how much he hates the blacks and Mexicans.
Hilariously, as soon as the libtard Democrats learned of the existence of the "dossier" from CNN and Buzzfeed in early 2017, they immediately believed that the whole fucking thing was real and actually thought that it would go on to become the salacious scandal that would bring down President Donald Trump and save America from 8 beautiful years of peace and prosperity. In reality, the dossier was absolute bullshit and, as of 2018, is still the single greatest act of trolling that the denizens of 4chan's /pol/ have ever gotten away with.
From the ashes of the short-lived "PissGate" non-scandal, it has slowly been revealed that the Obama administration, the Democratic party and the corrupt FBI lied to the courts and abused the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act or FISA in order to spy on the Trump campaign in a scandal that surpasses even Watergate and Zaigergate. What they never expected, however, was that Donald Trump would win over actual American voters and become President despite the fact that literally everything was rigged against him.
- 1 The Making of a Donald Trump Fanfic
- 2 #GoldenShowerGate: Pissing in the Ocean of Piss
- 3 Nobody cares, Moby
- 4 You Are FAKE NEWS
- 5 Obama Taps Trump
- 6 Hillary Screams "I DINDU NUFFIN!"
- 7 Wire Tapp Confirmed
- 8 Going the Gawker Way
- 9 Prove You're Not A Яusskieбot!
- 10 A Little Schiff Hits The Fan
- 11 The Democrats' Memo
- 12 Steele, Christopher Steele
- 13 Gallery
- 14 See Also
- 15 External Links
The Making of a Donald Trump Fanfic
In 2016, users of 4chan's /pol/ decided to fuck with people by making up a completely outlandish story about Donald Trump hiring prostitutes to urinate all over a bed that Barack and Michelle Obama once slept in while on a diplomatic trip to Russia. Eventually someone had the brilliant idea to send their erotic fanfiction to anti-Trump Republican political strategist Rick Wilson and attempt to pass it off as being fact. Much to /pol/'s surprise, Rick Wilson turned out to be so fucking retarded that he actually believed the story and then proceeded to forward /pol/'s amateur fanfic to professional cuck and former presidential loser John McCain, who in turn FBI director James Comey who then ensured that the information was passed on to numerous other security agencies that included the United States' CIA and Britain's MI6.
—4chan, informing his mum that he finally did something right
Unbeknownst to the #NeverTrump Republicucks, the Democratic National Committee and Killary Cunton herself had hired an "Opposition Research Firm" called Fusion GPS to gather information that could potentially end Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Unfortunately for Hillary, Fusion GPS decided that they were too fucking lazy to actually do their job and—instead of conducting actual opposition research—went to a virulently anti-Trump MI6 agent named Christopher David Steele and asked him to give them something to work with.
Christopher Steele then decided to do what anyone in his situation would do – he did a Google search for damning info on Donald Trump and found himself in a thread on 4chan's /pol/ where he discovered the /pol/acks' horribly written fan fiction and ultimately decided that the "accusations" within were totally not made up and were at least 100% worthy of being included in an official dossier on the "Russian hacking" of the 2016 Presidential Election.
#GoldenShowerGate: Pissing in the Ocean of Piss
On January 10, 2017, leading fake news network CNN first that detailed how President Elect Donald Trump was blackmailed by the Russian government and Vladimir Putin into running for president of the United States of America and infiltrating the U.S. Government in order to avoid the release of a supposed "Pee Pee Tape" that showed him getting Russian Government-backed whores to piss all over a bed in a Moscow hotel room.
Later the same day, BuzzFeed discovered that the dossier's author was an MI6 agent named Christopher Steele and they then proceeded to send him $300,000 in order to obtain a full copy of the entire, unredacted "dossier". Not wanting to admit that they had been scammed out of $300,000 and despite knowing full well that the dossier was probably complete and utter bullshit after they actually got to read it, BuzzFeed still decided to – their "reasoning", of course, being that people should be free to read the information and make up their own minds on whether to dismiss it as more fake news bullshit or to be retarded and actually fall for the most obvious act of trolling since the Jews made up the holocaust.
—BuzzFeed, pointing out their complete lack of journalistic integrity
After realizing that his cover had been compromised and his powerword would soon be revealed to the world, Christopher Steele began acting like a complete drama queen by immediately moving his entire family out of their home and then telling his IRL friends that he feared that "Moscow" (i.e. BuzzFeed) was going to send out a hitman to assassinate him for plagiarizing bad fan fiction from 4chan.
—Chris thought BuzzFeed would kill him for scamming them out of $300,000
Meanwhile, Rick Wilson was attempting to claim that he DINDU NUFFIN on Twitter when he accidentally ended up admitting his involvement in the phony dossier.
—Rick Wilson, owning himself on Twitter
Nobody cares, Moby
—Moby, pretending to still be relevant
You Are FAKE NEWS
Obama Taps Trump
In March, 2017, it came out that former president Barack Obama and his corrupt administration had wiretapped Trump Tower during the 2016 Presidential Election in what should have universally been considered a bigger political scandal than Watergate – unfortunately, the Lügenpresse was so unwilling to allow Black Jesus' legacy to be tarnished that they doubled down on their lies and began desperately attempting to paint Trump as a paranoid lunatic who was peddling right wing conspiracy theories.
Unfortunately for le olde media, Trump was not wrong and the Obama administration had wiretapped Trump Tower. In order to play it safe, dumbfuck Obongo and Crooked Hillary actually thought that they'd go through the trouble of actually attempting to do everything by the books for once and would actually go through the trouble to obtain a warrant before wiretapping the opposing party's candidate – unlike stupid Richard Nixon who forgot to get a warrant before he sent his goons to Watergate.
In order to get a warrant, Obama got FBI director and Hillary shill James Comey to obtain FISA warrants against several members of the Trump campaign. FISA, or the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, is intended for conducting surveillance on terrorists and spies, but Comey attempted to obtain the warrants under the false pretense that members of the Trump Campaign were "colluding" with "Russia". As evidence of this, Comey presented the Steele Dossier despite the fact that he was totally aware that it was bullshit that had been paid for by Hillary herself.
—Comey, on the dossier that he used to obtain a FISA warrant
Hillary Screams "I DINDU NUFFIN!"
—Hillary, doing what she does best
Wire Tapp Confirmed
In September, 2017, CNN finally Trump Campaign chairman Paul Manafort.
Going the Gawker Way
On January 9, 2018, a year after BuzzFeed originally published the dossier, editor-in-chief Ben Smith decided to reflect on the publication's retarded decision to publish a bullshit document that contained massive amounts of factual inaccuracies and blatant libel. Ben claimed that he was "proud" of the decision and that the American people are so fucking stupid that they actually need a liberal propaganda rag like BuzzFeed to tell them what to think because they just aren't intelligent enough to actually think for themselves.
—Ben Smith is proud of publishing libelous bullshit
—Ben Smith, asking for it
—Ben Smith, calling you retarded
Following Smith's brazen display of arseholery, Michael Cohen✡—Donald Trump's long time attorney who had also been libelled in the dossier—decided that he had finally had enough of SmugFeed's unrelenting BS and proceeded to file a defamation lawsuit against them.
—Michael Cohen, showing BuzzFeed who's boss
Prove You're Not A Яusskieбot!
Several days after the rise of the Commiefornia Senator and fossilized Jewess Dianne Feinstein✡ teamed up with California Congressman Adam Schiff to write a letter begging Facebook and Twitter to do more to censor the hashtag on their respective platforms – their excuse being that the hashtag was certainly being spread by Russian Bots because reasons.campaign began,
Unfortunately for Dianne and Adam, the hashtag was not being spread by "Russian Bots" but by real Muricans who weren't about to take any shit from two losers from a pinko-run state that's unwilling to follow federal law or cooperate with the federal government. To show the Democrats who's boss, the ragtag crew of Trumpkins and still-butthurt Bernie Sanders supporters who wanted to #ReleaseTheMemo proceeded to destroy the rainforest and take a bunch of selfies to prove that they were neither Russians nor bots.
A Little Schiff Hits The Fan
—Adam Schiff, fearmongering
The Democrats' Memo
Steele, Christopher Steele
- BuzzFeed - but I repeat myself
- Fake News
- Fan Fiction
- Mueller Report - the "difficult second album"
- Pizzagate - A far more believable conspiracy theory about Hillary Clinton raping and eating babies.
- Pool's Closed - 4chan pranks a decade ago. Oh, how very far we have come.
/pol/ Writes Sexy Trump Fan Fiction
- - Proof that /pol/ trolled everyone.
- - Chrissy leaks bullshit info to Yahoo News.
- - CNN reveals the existence of the dossier.
- - BuzzFeed releases the "Steele Dossier".
- - Larry Flynt is old and desperate.
- - BuzzFeed thinks a half-arsed apology will save them.
- - Russian argues that water is wet, BuzzFeed disagrees.
- - LOLOLOL
- - Liberalism is a mental disorder.
Obama Wiretaps Trump Tower, Media Gaslights Trump
- - Yes, yes he did.
- - Libshits freak out at Trump for revealing Obama's corruption.
- - CNN admits that Obama wiretapped the Trump campaign.
Hillary Clinton Funded the Bullshit Dossier
- - Fox releases a bombshell.
- - A shocking admission by the Washington Shitpost.
- - Fusion GPS totally DINDU NUFFIN!
- - Christopher Steele stiffed /pol/ on their work on the dossier.
- - Yeah right.
- - She didn't know about it, but still defends it as "opposition research".
- - Moar of Hillary defending her illegal bullshit.
- - A shocking admission by Jewsweek.
One Year of Bullshit
- - BuzzFeed is proud of their faggotry.
- - We're sure they were asking for it.
- - That's quite a hot take.
- - Releasing the memo was a "Right-Wing Meme".
The Bot Conspiracy
- The Feinstein/Schiff Letter
- - Democrats attempt to censor social media.
- - Aliens might abduct cows to sodomize them, Democrats say.
- - Even Twitter says that the libtards are full of shit.
Full of Schiff
- - Schiff lies in a desperate last-ditch attempt to prevent the release of the memo.
- - Useless Nancy Pelosi gets desperate.
- - Twitter attempts to censor the #FullOfSchiff hashtag.
Libtard Media Damage Control
- - Mother Jones reaches so far up their arse that they pull out their tongue.
- - Professional liar Caroline Amy Whorr pretends that the memo was a joke.
Fifty Dossiers Gayer
- - The long-awaited sequel.
- - The fanfic spawns a fanfic.
The Demoncunts' Counter-Memo
- - The Democrats' last desperate attempt to avoid prison rape.
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