|NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION!! GGWP|
|Abu Abdul Bar al-Amriki|
|Highscore||58 killed, 422 injured|
|Style||FPS, Single Player|
|Motive(s)||Jihad, Las Vegas Syndrome|
Stephen Craig Paddock☪ (a.k.a. Abu Abdul Bar al-Amriki) was a veritable God among men who, at the age of 64, had a life's worth of experience as a licensed pilot, gambler, hunter, and professional geriatric. On October 1, 2017, after 9 months of a rather uneventful year, Stephen said, "Enough is enough!" and decided to put his mad skillz to the test with one last gamble as he told the degenerate youth of Las Vegas to get the fuck off his lawn in style.
Stephen, a literal die-hard fan of country music, smashed open two windows (one in the front and one in a corner) in his suite on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino and then rained lead on a crowd of 22,000 stupid posers who were attending Route 91 Harvest, a so-called "country music" festival that Stephen believed was brutally raping the genre that he loved so dearly. He was also with ISIS and wanted to kill some infidels in the name of Allah after losing a bunch of money gambling.
With 10 points in agility and perception, this Courier of Death was able to bring swift justice to the New Vegas strip as he racked up a whopping 58 kills and 422 injuries before being interrupted by a security guard at his hotel room door and finally turning the gun on himself. Stevie committed the worst mass shooting by a lone gunman in US history, with critics noting his super effective technique, the Mandalay Bay Spray and Pray, and saying it's the "best thing to happen in Vegas since The Hangover."
This fine gentleman of the ripe age of 64 had gone to Sin City to drink and gamble away his problems as per usual with every Las Vegas individual, checking into the Mandalay Bay with 10 suitcases without security noticing him. However, the house took him for what they had due to his gambling addiction, and so he was back in his hotel room waiting to exact revenge for taking him for every penny. Upon hearing the first notes of country music outside his window, his plan immediately formulated, prompting him to take one of his many rifles he happened to smuggle into his room, take aim and rain lead onto the unsuspecting offenders to his ears. Bullet after bullet, magazine after magazine, many of them found their targets, dropping them one by one and making him feel that much better about himself. Soon the cops caught on and found out the location of the cleanser of musical taste, about to rush in and take care of it, but were too slow as usual as Stephen did their job for them. As soon as his job was done, he shed himself from the mortal coil and went on to the great casino in the sky.
The reactions came from old media✡ and politicians, much like every other mass shooting. Paddock's profile didn't meet the typical loner or mental illness stereotype of a murderer, but they did find out that his father, Benjamin Paddock, was a bank robber on the FBI's "Top Ten Most Wanted Fugitives" and was reportedly "psychopathic" and "suicidal." TOW wanted to delete the separate article on Paddock and wanted it to be a part of the shooting article itself, even though he is clearly notable due to beating the American high score by a long mile. A lot of people pulled the race card and said that since he's white, police or the news wouldn't label him as a terrorist due to not being a raghead. But his motive, whether it was religious or political, is still unknown.
Out of panic (as if that's not a surprise already), everybody started spreading false ass information. People confused Paddock with the ex-husband of the girlfriend he was with at the time, noting the fact that he was a Democrat who liked Rachel Maddow and was anti-Trump. Pictures of Paddock dead in his hotel room, including him laying on the floor dead and the spot where he hid all of his guns, were leaked onto the Internet.
As usual, a butthurt Hillary Twitter loudmouth named Greg Morelli weighed in on the situation thusly:
Morelli owned Max's Deli in Highland Park along with his father and brother until some busybodies improved the deli's Facebook page by adding photoshopped images of Morelli fapping over the victims. Turns out that Greg had only recently displayed his butthurt over Hillary's stunning loss with a jaunty cartoon of Nazi bagels and a depiction of an alt-right matzo ball which enraged the community enough that the local Max Weisenthal center agreed to help with damage control by hosting a frank discussion of the behavior, at which an unrepentant Greg behaved like an ass. After the Vegas tweet, the Center had this to say of Greg Morelli:
Borderline Bar & Grill College Country Night! Epilogue
As was the case with the Virginia Tech Massacre, many pundits proclaimed that Paddock had not been completely satisfied with his raping of just 58 country fans. On November 7, 2018, a year and almost a month after Paddock reigned down his cleansing upon Country Music fans, another fine gentleman - Ian David Long (who lived with his mom, lol) walked into a Country Bar and took another 12 lives. One of those killed was a navy veteran who survived Paddock's wrath in Las Vegas. Many other attendees had also survived the massacre - leading many to question how these lucky few managed to beat the house odds. In response to this shooting, a Change.org petition has been started to stop the playing of country music indefinitely.
- Step 1 - Be rich
- Step 2 - Learn your gun laws and rights even though you're about to murder a bunch of people
- Step 3 - Buy a fuckload of guns with your money
- Step 4 - Get ammo and cameras and shit
- Step 5 - Rent out a room in a tower to shoot people from
- Step 6 - Wait for massive gathering of people
- Step 7 - Unload gunfire upon the SHEEPLE
- Step 8 - Ignite further shitstorm via political meltdown
- Step 9 - ????
|Kill count:||58/20 Deadliest OAP since Derrick Bird|
|Accuracy:||2/20 Thought he could accurately aim from the top of a hotel|
|Style:||20/20 Smuggling in 10 rifles and putting them to good use|
|Butthurt:||20/20 Bringing back gun control topic and bringing up that white privilege|
|Bonus:||20/20 An Hero + Deadliest mass shooting in modern US history|
|Total Score: 120/100 (S)|
See full ranking
- havok with paddock
- "swift like a haddock" Paddock
- Daddy paddy wacker
- Stephen "bolted from the" Paddock
- Stephen 'sLays in vegas' paddock
- Stephen "your gonna be grievin'" Paddock
- Click-Clack Paddywack
- steven "I've fucking had it" Paddock
- Stephen lv32 wardock
- Steve "You Can't Leave" Paddock
- Stephen "stop you breathin'" Paddock
- Stephen "guns unsheathin'" Paddock
- Paddy The Sniper Daddy
- Lord Paddock from Havok
- Lvl 32 Boss Battle
- Mandalay Bay Security Pentester
- Stephen "Bushmaster" Paddock
- Mr. 586
- The 4 Minute Decimator
- Mr. M240
- Stephen "Oxygen Depletin" Paddock
- Stephen "Give me a fucking reason" Paddock
- Stephen The Heathen
- Stephen The Smoking Gun
- Stephen "Sending Yanks to St.Peter from 300 Meters" Paddock
- Stephen "Takes Your Life with an Asian Wife" Paddock
- Eric Paddock - Steve's twin brother. The 1%. A fucking freeloader who retired just to leech off his brother's success while eating 1000$ COMPED sushi everyday. He also thinks only poor people works at taco bell (inb4 the butthurt of every poor niggers and the 99%).
- Patrick Paddock - who?
- Bruce Paddock - FUCKING PEDOPHILE HOLYSHIT
- Benjamin Hoskins Paddock - The Father. A fucking bank robber and a con man. He is also on the top ten FBI most wanted list who escape jails after jails like he was the protagonist of Shawshank's Redemption. Died and gave birth to 4 little jack off with one of them being Steven, chosen of the dark gods. The rest are either a pedophile, a freeloader sushi enthusiast and a nobody.
- Mom Paddock - Steve made her wealthy.
- Peggy Paddock - Stephen's EX-wife. Two divorced for more than 27 years ago after a six-year marriage and had no childrens. Currently living in Cerritos, California.
- Omar Mateen & Cho Seung Hui - defeated former US champion's scores.
- Mass Shooting - the overused IRL dead meme that Stevey revived
- Gun Control - prepare for the great debate to be reignited with no positive outcome
- Donald Trump - Republican president during the occurrence of the mass shooting, and thus personally responsible (if you're liberal)
- Bernie Sanders - Democratic senator during the occurrence of the mass shooting, and thus personally responsible (if you're conservative)
- Las Vegas shooting at Mandalay Bay Casino hotel
- Who was Stephen Paddock? Las Vegas shooter 'not an avid gun guy'
- Stephen Paddock's father launched violent attack in Las Vegas decades ago
- He got mindfucked by diazepam, Holy Shit!
- Not Stephen Paddock, but pretty close (and Paddock didn't have a goddamn James Bond car that could drive under water) (Archived: )
| Stephen Paddock
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