Stick Arena

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Some fucking Stick Arena n00bs got their penises fed into a meat grinder.

Stick Arena is a crappy online flash game created by some basement dweller at Xgen Studios where users play as stick figures who murder and whack off each other in one of various multiple levels with a wide variety of weapons that no other game has had, like guns, and swords, and even a bat. o noes! The site says there have been over 1.6 million registered players and more than 40 million rounds played evar, which is just plain bullshit. The typical Stick Arena player is often either a n00b, a wapanese, or an idiot who is too cheap to buy a better game where you murder people online, like Unreal Tournament or My Space, so they settle with a shitty free game like this one. The game is easily exploited by hack programs like the Stick Arena Trainer, which helps you to pwn t3h n00bs.

how to hack the game

Gameplay[edit]

Stick Arena is played online, in your browser, and the game reccomends that you use Internet Explorer because if you're stupid enough to bother playing this game, you're too stupid to download and use Firefox. You can create an account before you play, or you can just hit Quick Start to begin playing immediately. The game sucks because you get killed on the spot, and if you're not hacking, you're automatically going to die. The game is played in rounds which last only for a few minutes, and people can come and go in the middle of a round, which is pretty stupid. There are a bunch of obstacles in every map, which shows an attempt to make the game even more difficult, though they prove to be an more of an annoyance than anything else.

The game attempts to bring some kind of social community together with a main chat amid a group of servers where people host their own games. It is not unusual to find servers titled "No Hackers" or "Newbies only", or some combination of both, like "Newbie Hackers ONLY" despite the fact that the game lacks a mechanism that prevents hackers or "experienced" players from joining their game, which further proves their idiocy. The game has a kick mechanism where the players are supposed to interrupt their game to vote off a player who is being a dick, which actually proves useful when you are trying to be one by booting off an unsuspecting player by having you and a friend vote him/her off.

And also, this game has so much fucking lag, you can take about 3 steps before getting logged out. 90% of the players hack and 40% have names around the base of "Killer." Most hackers have over 9000 kills in one game. Noobs like to say "haxor" when ever they die, even if someone other than you killed them.

Hacking Stick Arena[edit]

n00bs are such simple people that they like to confuse trolling with hacking.

Obviously this game begs to be raped in the ass. There is at least one known program designed to hack Stick Arena which allows you to pwn t3h n00bz, among other things, called Stick Arena Trainer, which can be downloaded at http://opiumtest.blogspot.com. Based on Catalyst's experiences, and perhaps others, you can fuck up many a gaming session by going in and slaughtering everyone, especially when you are teaming up with a friend. The time wasted doing this is more than worth it just to piss off some fat retarded idiots who actually attempt to take the game seriously to some degree. As a hacker, you win when all n00bs on a server leave or you kill each person 50 million times.

Stick Arena Trainer[edit]

The Stick Arena Trainer has several hacks built in which allow you to pwn t3h n00bs with an unfair advantage. The trainer grants the user the following abilities:

  • Name Change-The ability to change your name(After Respawning), thereby letting you bypass a censorship mechanism, so you can put in a better name like "ShittingDickNipples".
  • Kills Hack which allows you to specify how many kills you want, makes the n00bs pissed because they will say something like "wtf how u haz 99 killz".
  • Weapon Hack which allows you to select any weapon available. Useful on maps without the AK-47 and getting reactions like "d00d where is the machine gun?".
  • Anti-lag feature which keeps the already unstable flash game from being more unstable than it needs to be
  • Reloading hack which allows you to use your weapon at high speeds so the n00bs can die faster.
  • Ghost Mode hack which makes it hard for n00bs to hit you or something.
  • Speed Hack which lets you run around really fast so the n00bs can't get you, and so you can kill them faster.
  • HP Hack so you can have whatever amout of health you want, or infinite health.
  • Color Hack so when you change your name, you can still pretend to be someone or something else, like "PinkVagina", and have an appropriate color, like Period Blood Red, which complements your new moniker.
  • Wall Hack, which is an almost-redundant feature because of the Teleport Hack (below) that makes the walls disappear, thus letting you move your character throughout the map and rape people that walk by.
  • Teleport Hack lets you move your stick character through walls and follow the cursor, you will be untouchable by the n00bs.
  • Respawn, which disconnects and reconnects you to the game, useful for when you change your name when the n00bs finally realize that you're hacking
  • Other features which don't really affect gameplay
  • pr0n Window for wanking it while you figuratively shove your cock into some n00b's eye.
Some of the most horrible, deafening newbie cries heard on Stick Arena.

n00bs' reaction to hackers[edit]

Typically, n00bs get very pissed off because there is a hacker on their map. They might initiate a kick vote, where the other players vote on kicking you off. To prevent this, it's usually best to turn off the Teleport, Speed, and Reload hacks. The HP hack is less obvious because nobody can see your hitpoints.

It's not hacking, it's winning.[edit]

When a n00b finally figures out a hacker is in their midst, they get all pissy and type out "HACKER" like you're going to care, especially if you make it obvious that you're hacking. A favorite reply is "It's not hacking, it's winning". The n00b will get so pissed, he might start calling you stuff like fag or whatever, because they aren't as cool as you. Just keep killing them until they leave or until the match is over. Then call them a black person, because these guys hate black persons. Then you can gloat on how your kill count is 70 because everyone else sucks huge cock.

The kick vote feature can be defeated by changing your name so the n00bs don't suspect you, and respawning. You retain your kill count, and you can stay somewhat undercover.

One thing is that if you don't want to make it obvious that you're hacking, is that you don't want to make your name black. That's the telltale sign that someone is using the trainer, and that makes you a dumbass.

Playing with other hackers[edit]

Playing with other hackers on Stick Arena can be a good and a bad thing. If you and a friend play together to piss people off (The equivalent of a threesome), like by booting people off a server and just plain making everyone's game experience into a veritable hell, then that's all good. However, when you encounter another hacker, things can get a little competitive. You must take every measure avaliable to kill more n00bs than him, otherwise you're buttfucked. It also isn't very unusual to encounter a server full of hackers, which may lead to a very lulzy moment when a n00b arrives and gets killed in the asshole.

Reporting/Getting Banned[edit]

Well, Stick Arena doesn't have a very effective ban system because there are still a shitload of hackers, but in the event you really do get banned, it's not like it's permanent if you use a proxy. And if they get crazy from there, you better just tell them "I did it for the lulz"

The Forums[edit]

Like most games, Stick Arena has it's own forum dedicated to it. Unlike most games however, Stick Arena's forum has an overall intelligence that makes /b/ look like it's populated with some of the smartest geniuses who have ever lived. The poor souls who have been drafted to serve in the forum mod army must put up with the constant whining and crying of noobs that only a babysitter should have to put up with IRL. In an attempt to cut down on their workload, someone came up with the idea of creating a stickied thread outlining a list of thread topics that are against the rules. It was actually a decent idea, but they overlooked one small detail: NOOBS NEVER READ STICKIED THREADS!!1 Because such threads and other rules are meant to be read by noobs, that makes their existance somewhat pointless. As a result, butthurt stickfags continue to run to the forums in a blind fury, with tears in their eyes, to complain about how they were unfairly kicked by a noob (making their complaint ironic) who was too stupid to tell the difference between a hacker and someone who was simply capable of pwning their ass. Of course, we already know it's impossible to pwn without hacking.

There's even a sub-section of the Stick Arena forums titled Suggestions where users can actually suggest improvements for the game. Needless to say, that has been an absolute disaster, so much so that even this sub-section has it's own list of unacceptable threads too, due to the sheer idiocy of the overall stickfag community. Just go there and see it with your own eyes, it really speaks for itself...

Synopsis[edit]

Stick Arena is only fun if you're hacking.

See Also[edit]

Links[edit]

Bonus Points! Plus Xgen's shitty forum.[1]