Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists

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See also: Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting
tfw the shooting was the best thing to ever happen to you

The Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists are a small group of left-leaning high school students who saw an opportunity after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas school shooting to use the bodies of their seventeen dead classmates to gain a national media-provided platform to push gun control. While there have been many other school shootings in the United States in the past couple of decades, this is notably the first instance a small group of students was narcissistic enough to climb over their schoolmates' bodies to get to the TV cameras.

The attention whoring was accommodated by the most trusted name in news, CNN. Naturally, CNN's string of journalistic successes and obvious lack of bias made them the ideal forum for an impartial debate which in no way was an ambush of local rube Marco Rubio and NRA spokesperson, Dana Loesch.

While Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School had an enrollment of 2,972 students at the start of the 2017 school year, it's generally only the same few students you see everywhere in the media purporting themselves to speak for the entire student body.

The students[edit]

Not included in this list is Colton Haab who shielded seventy students with Kevlar mats, but who revealed CNN's insistence on using scripted questions. Naturally, CNN retaliated by claiming Haab had doctored emails from them. Also not included is Kyle Kashuv, who has taken the controversial view that his classmates are taking this thing too far, so he had to wait an extra week for his verified badge after meeting with numerous figures in the government including the Devil himself, Donald Trump. For these transgressions, Kashuv was warmly welcomed by his fellow classmates who rejected Trump's attempt to reach out to them.

David Hogg[edit]

Sieg Heil!
Herr Hogg with his mentor
Nuvola
Moar info: David Hogg.
   
 
I am someone who has constant and jarring deep seeded hatred for those around me and myself not really for any main reason I mean I'm a relatively privileged kid that has had the American dream childhood but I moved from CA to FL 2 years ago and ever since then I have become an arrogant mean manipulative asshole I have a constant felling that everyone around me wants to hurt me how can I stop this?
 

 
 

David Hogg, posting on Reddit on March 31, 2017.

David Hogg: young, skinny, white. The perfect spokesman for the anti-gun agenda, thank goodness that isn't at all what's going on here. The fact that David Hogg is the son of a former FBI agent shouldn't worry you at all. Nor should the fact that anytime the video of him rehearsing his reactions is uploaded, it is deleted "due to YouTube's policy on harassment and bullying"... nothing at all to see here, move along.

It should be noted that Hogg was literally calling for gun control while the shooting was still in progress.

David has taken this opportunity to cash in on his fifteen minutes of fame. His Twitter following increased dramatically within a few days, and it wasn't long before Twitter awarded him his shiny blue check mark badge for shilling for what's left of the Democrats. Hogg wasted no time virtue signaling to anyone who would listen about how he hung up on President Trump when he reached out. This made him the darling of Twitter, the land of short attention spans. EDiots predict he will be washed up and strung out on crack by the time he grows his second pube.

David Hogg gets rejected by the University of Central Florida[edit]

The genius David Hogg has been rejected from multiple colleges, including local community colleges with astronomically-high neckbeard acceptance rates. However, these applications were before he became a media darling.

Hogg now is just asking for new drama.

David Hogg sees school safety measures other than gun control as a violation of his freedoms[edit]

   
 
I'm not happy with it. Why are you punishing me for one person's actions?
 

 
 

Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School student Tyra Hemans, said without a hint of irony.

In response to the Valentine's Day massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, the school implemented safety measures such as clear backpacks and student IDs. "Common sense measures," one might say. What was Hogg's reaction? That restricting high schoolers' backpack choices is an unnecessary embarrassment for students, and, like, total fascism. When their fellow classmate Nick Cruz had been barred from bringing a backpack to school because the admins were afraid he was going to hide weapons in it, they were obviously raping his freedoms. Don't infringe upon their Constitutional right to non-clear backpacks!

Hogg challenges Alex Jones to a debate, then pussies out[edit]

Talks tough one minute, runs away the next.

Feeling that Alex Jones attacked his sacred honor by daring to oppose him, David Hogg challenged him to a debate to prove Jones wrong. Jones responded by accepting the challenge of a debate, only for Hogg to promptly back off and make up an excuse for why he wouldn't do it. The ignominy of his public backtracking caused Hogg to lash out like a wounded animal at Jones, and make tweets mocking Jones's appearance. Not long after this, CNN ran an article saying the NRA had defeated Hogg and his co-conspirators' quest to reduce Americans' Second Amendment freedoms, and when CNN, who was Hogg's biggest fan and promoter early on, says that, you know his fifteen minutes are up.

Cameron Kasky[edit]

A suspected fedora-tipper of self-proclaimed integrity, who apparently cares deeply about life and protecting life from the great evils of the world, despite his history of calling for violence and death upon people of ideologies that oppose his, showing otherwise. All in all nobody really cares about him. Note: Has a nose of a notably hooked shape

Emma González[edit]

Although you may be inclined to believe this is a bald dude with cancer, this is in fact a teenage dyke named Emma González. Despite sustaining no injury, this "victim" caught the eye of the dying media due to her multiracial and gender non-conforming vibe. Emma González is an Amerimutt bisexual 18-year-old faggot that uses her South Florida thot charisma to encourage people to advocate for gun control. Emma González's snowflake attributes provides the perfect balance to the presence of the fucking white males listed above. Some conspiracy theorists claimed then Emma González and David Hogg are long distant cousins while Emma got a profile on IMDb [1]. It's been revealed that Emma the goblin had been one of the bullies who drove Nikolas Cruz to commit the lulzfest, further proving that the school and the rest of these crying marchers truly were asking for it and that these "victims" victimized Nikolas Cruz.

Delaney Tarr[edit]

Another wannabe journalist, Delaney Tarr dripped in her speech then "they give us a inch, we take a mile" in this clip then she wishes it will be removed before it got uploaded elsewhere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ORCmn3snhY Too late, Paul Joseph Watson had re-uploaded a part of her speech at 1:22 in his vlog and we won't be surprised if in twenty years later, Denaley Tarr will regret having told the truth.

The "survivors" seek to cash in with a book deal[edit]

In the very same month the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School occurred, it was reported that some of the "survivors" already have high-profile publicists working for them, seeking to secure big book deals to get themselves and their organization tons of Jew gold get their message of gun control out (because Lord knows a book would do that better than their having appeared on every TV talk show imaginable.) One must wonder how some of the other students at their high school feel watching them cash in like this, in addition to their incessant media attention-whoring.

The 'Parkland Wave' that wasn't[edit]

Womp, womp...

David Hogg and his Parkland pals declared they were ready to get to work to get rid of those nasty Second Amendment-supporting politicians in their home state of Florida. They said in early 2018 they were registering all the teens to vote in that November's midterm election, and they were going to paint the state blue. Their targets? Their own self-declared archenemies, Rick Scott and Ron DeSantis, both running in statewide races for the U.S. Senate and Governor. With all the hype surrounding the Parkland students, things were looking pretty grim for the Republican duo...

Wait, what's that? Scott and DeSantis both won? This can't be happening! If the Parkland students couldn't knock off their GOP enemies in a 'blue wave' year, mere months after their rise to prominence (i.e., the only time in which they'll have been fresh in voters' minds), it really does make one wonder exactly when they'll be able to influence the outcome of elections in Florida. Surely Hogg and company will be super popular and relevant in 2022, when their other declared enemy, Marco Rubio, will have his Senate seat come up for election.

Who's really funding them?[edit]

With Jews, fake news!

If you only listened to the media, you'd think the March for Our Lives and all the other such things that sprang up around Hogg and crew was spontaneously organized by a group of middle class teenagers, but the march cost over five million dollars, so who was really behind it all? A partial list can be found here and here:

  • Debbie Wasserman Schultz
  • Mark Kelly & the Gifford Foundation
  • Michael Bloomberg & Everytown for Gun Safety
  • MoveOn.org
  • Planned Parenthood
  • George Soros & Open Society Institute, the Tides Foundation, Women’s March, Louis Farrakhan
  • Friends Committee of National Legislation
  • American Federation of Teachers
  • Jeri Rhodes & Greenpeace
  • Friends Committee on National Legislation
  • Oprah Winfrey, George Clooney, Steven Spielberg, and Jeffrey Katzenberg ($500,000 each)
  • The fashion company Gucci

Broward Sheriff[edit]

Naturally, the children are the ultimate resource for wisdom in these trying times, and most of the children have given this issue plenty of thought and the children mostly blame the NRA. This leaves the Broward Sheriff's office free to pursue shameless self promotion, and to save valuable taxpayer dollars by not using up any bullets which can cost upwards of a dollar each. Thankfully, it has been revealed that a student of Stoneman, Anthony Borges, who shielded his classmates with his own body, has been released from the hospital and is planning to take Israel and his cowards to court, along with Cruz's neglectful "family" and the school itself, on the basis of neglect sometime in August because bureaucracy is a shitshow that slows everything down, unlike Hogg and his buttslaves cronies Jewish pawns, Borges does not blame guns for the shooting, also unlike Hogg, Borges is a pretty cool guy.

  • Scott Israel, aka The Coward of Broward, is the sheriff of Broward County who stood upon the CNN townhall stage and blamed NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch, and complaining that Marco Rubio takes donations from the NRA, and implying that only the police should have guns, and they will totally protect you in these shootings (especially if you're black). Immediately after the show, he bravely informed the public that the lives of four deputies were spared by their refusal to enter the school as the shooting was in progress. Naturally some Broward County citizens were butthurt that their taxes paid for this faggotry but they were prevented from visiting the brave officers at their homes. Turns out that Sheriff Scott Israel is part of something called "Hillary for Florida Leadership Council", so you know he's totally legit.
  • Another of the officers who failed to enter the school as people were being killed is Nezar Hamze, who also holds an administrative position at CAIR Florida, a Hamas front group... Move along now, nothing at all to see here.
  • Scott Peterson has lawyered up to defend against the unfair criticism that he hid in a stairwell as witnessed by a student, and continued to cower there until the other three officers stopped hiding.

Videos[edit]

Gallery[edit]

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See also[edit]

Totally spontaneous.

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