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Subservient Chicken

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Whatever you do don't tell him to give you a prostate exam.
No, I said "put shoe on head", not "Cover eye and scratch your ass".

The Subservient Chicken was one of the first major viral Internet marketing campaigns and was also the greatest. Created by Burger King in 2004 to advertise the Tendercrisp Chicken Sammich. The site consists of a guy in a chicken costume standing in a room containing of a couch, a loveseat, a television and a lamp. The chicken will do anything you ask him to just so he doesn't get eaten. A text box that you could type commands into was at the bottom of the window. While the chicken will fail to put shoe on head every time, he is fairly accurate at doing what he is told. This led leagues of idiots to believe that the feed was live and that he was sitting in a room on webcam taking orders exclusively for them.

Parody[edit]

A parody site, SubservientPresident.com, contained a man dressed up like US history's greatest president, George W Bush, basically doing the same thing. The satirical nature of this parody was to show that GWB is such a man of the people that he will do anything for regular folks like you.

Commands[edit]

After being told to huff some jenk. What a pussy. (Won't do it anymore by the way, he's "on the wagon" now)

The Subservient Chicken has over 300 commands that you can have him do by typing keywords into the command line below the active window. These commands range from boring to lulzy. He will not do anything sexual, which is lame. This is thought to be because it is embarrassed by his small cloaca. Below is a list of some of the more entertaining ones:

  • Smoke Subservient Chicken will smoke a cigarette. Asking it to smoke weed of any sort and you will get a disappointed gesture
  • Downward dog For all you yogafags. Chicken will go from the "Downward facing dog", to the "Sun salutation"
  • Frustrate Chicken will smash his head against the wall
  • Piss Pretty self explanitory
  • Seduce Our protagonist will do a sexy chicken dance
  • Dance Some hipster whore comes out and dances with him
  • Make out Chicken will molest and then make out with a couch cushion
  • Vomit The bird will go into convulsions which are slightly reminiscent of throwing up
  • Hump Chicken will make a motion which could be construed as humping the air.
  • Money Subservient Chicken shows exactly where he will let you put it for cash

The full list of commands can be found here

Related Articles[edit]

External Links[edit]

  • Raw site - Backed up version. Can saved as a .swf file and has a cheat sheet just in case you're a lazy fag lord and don't wanna guess the actions yourselves.
  • SubservientPresident.com Created by butthurt Democrats who were jealous of George W Bush's leet presidenting skillz (may not be working)
  • idodogtricks.com A little kick-worthy dog that does dog tricks. Won't lick it's balls or eat out its own ass though, which makes it pretty much worthless



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