Suzi Olsen

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Cat eyes.JPG
Atomic.gif Warning!
Drama has started as she found this article and had it removed from a Google search.
She has now joined us and started attempted baleetions
Information icon.png Olsen believes this article is defamatory. It's true, dammit! It's all true, dammit!
I'm such an attention whore!
Time to hunt the whore!

Suzanne "Suzi" Olsen (AKA Sooz) is a paranoid self proclaimed bi-sexual feminist dwarf from Australia who has gained all the attention she wants through flame wars that she blames on everyone but herself. She is a compulsive liar and has been banned from numerous forums for trolling, drama, racism and general faggotry causing her to create her own forums. She claims to be autistic but this is a dishonest self diagnosis based on an e-psychiatrist who was leading her on and letting her muff dive on her due to her having the hots for Ellen Degeneres. She could well be suffering from undiagnosed Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or paranoid schizophrenia and as of August 2018 there is an ongoing boycott of her forums due to excessive abuse. She has a collection of dildos for secks, has debts in excess of $11,000 and is into pissing and farting and supports the use of domestic violence.

She follows the North Melbourne Aussie rules football club, who keep her as member despite kissing the then President's personal assistant on the lips in 2011. She was a member at the Hawthorn club until she was caught trying to molest the mascot before the 2008 Grand Final. She believes that anyone famous in Australian rules is her cousin. The list includes;

  • Brad Scott but not Chris Scott
  • Corin Rowe
  • Luke Toia
  • Anthony Stevens
  • You

She constantly lies about her life and when anyone challenges her she threatens to report the person to Victoria Police, Consumer Affairs, Telstra, the AFP and even the Party Van. She has also issued death threats. Her beliefs include;

  • Hawaii is part of Japan
  • Melbourne Airport and Tullamarine Airport are two separate airports
  • Captain Cook sailed into Botany Bay in 1788 meaning that his death in Hawaii in 1779 was fake news
  • Donald Trump is the President of Canada
  • A man named Graham Groves died in a bus accident (he actually fled to New York City)
  • Mark Latham used to be the Premier of Victoria
  • Anyone who looks at her forums is a stalker

She eats family pets, in particular cats and dogs, and is a known racist having abused an Asian and never fully apologising for it. She also defends kiddie fiddlers like Robert Hughes and George Pell, thugs like Andrew Gaff who punched out an opponent on the sporting field and racists like Peter Dutton who believes all gangs in Victoria are from South Sudan.

Aussie Footy Forums[edit]

Forum as of Christmas 2018

Olsen's own forum has been a treasure trove of drama. Her original forum was at but Amazon closed the site when she refused to pay her bill for their ads. More recent thread titles included "Jade's has dicks on his mind", "shitterfooty are actually full of narcisstic wankers" and "Kingy and his abusive comments on shoutboxes". She posted a warning note from Pro Boards and ignored it persisting in her drama faggotry.

Since the interwebz started Olsen has run an "Idiot File", used as an excuse for shitting herself over little things like a bit of fun, snarking and so on. It has been called the "Imbecile File" as well. She attacks randoms under their screen names of "Da Psych", "DVB", "Melty", "North attack", "Childishfooty", "Kingy" and "Jade's" but never real faggots like Bruce Jenner, Chris-chan and Jodie Foster. She constantly changes the location through multiple domains and providers to try and hide her lies, drama and faggotry, but she always advertises it somewhere.

In December 2018 and into January 2019, even HipForums banned her - four times using screen names like "thethinkingcat" and "peewatcher". Her host suspended her own forum in late December and this was fixed through pimping.

Olsen is allegedly being sued for $64,000 for defamation. Shit got real.

Rumour file[edit]

Promoted as "Breaking news", the rumours about Olsen are hot and heavy;

  • Suzanne Olsen had a threesome with the 2 drag queens from AAMI's Broken Heel ad last night at Mildura West
  • Hearing Magda has taken out a restraining order against Sooz. Seems after breaking up with the Hippo, Sooz hasn't handled it well, and has thrown poisonous snakes inside Magda's house
  • Suzanne Olsen arrested for sucking George Pell off publicly in Main Street, Ballarat
  • Suzanne Olsen caught rolling around in horse manure and eating it
  • Suzanne Olsen arrested for trying to steal dogs from the Ballarat pound so she can have sex with then then cook them.
  • Suzanne Olsen arrested for lighting her own farts inside Ballarat Best and Less in a revenge attempt to kill the manager who sacked her for spitting on a customer
  • Suzanne Olsen has been evicted from her unit in Mt Clear after leaving feces all over the carpet and walls, in protest of not getting what she wants for Christmas from Daddy John
  • Suzanne Olsen arrested with sodomizing 8 gorillas both male and female at both Melbourne and Werribee zoos.
  • Suzanne Olsen arrested for trying to stalk and kill a 'VLine Troll' by sitting on his face and doing non stop farts.
  • Suzanne Olsen charged with allegedly trying to kill Desmond Tutu by emailing shit selfies of herself. Tutu suffered cardiac arrest upon seeing Sooz's ugly hairy, hippo bits.
  • Suzanne Olsen arrested for sending death threats to Freo's Michael Walters and calling him racially abusive names cause he helped thump North Melbourne.

Legal threats[edit]

If you guys want me to apologise then cease and desist from making stupid abusive comments about me on your shoutbox. I can read that shoutbox and i’m getting called some abusive names on it. Now beat it before i get your forum taken down along with the morons who keep on abusing me. Because all the comments that i’m getting aren’t all positive. Most of them are negative and are defamatory. Do you idiots want to be sued? Because if that is the case you are going to be all up on defamation charges and be up on criminal charges due to your ongoing behaviour


Sue away, faggot!

Famous quotes[edit]

Olsen is infamous for pwning herself in suffering from clear USI.

Fuck off cunt. Maybe you should apologise for making a fucking shithouse hate blog about me you fucking bully.


—Somebody call a WAHHmbulance!

I'm not going to be apologising for anything. Not even if you complain about whatever it is i do on my forum.


—Call me irresponsible...

You are a stalker who needs to actually have your dick and nuts cut off to pull you into line.


—Wanting improved flavour!

You need to concentrate hard on everything so that you don't fuck it up


Oh it hurts! It hurts!

Thanks for harming my reputation you flog. See you in court


Attorney at lol

I love watching men and women pee.


Piss fetish!!

Farting so much that it stinks out my unit.


Eproctophilia at work

What a joke of a person you really are. Get a life you muppet


—Typical dramatic abuse

He’s watching your every move


Big Brother is watching you!

Shut up whingers


—Anti free speech!

You are fucking cyber stalking you fucked up piece of shit


LEL u mad?

Kind of sick of the fickle shithouse negative tweets that i am reading.


—So ignore them!

Hope @GoDaddy suspends their abusive forum


—Go Daddy don't host that forum!

I wonder if @JDESTOOP80_FOX is in the mens loo when broadcasting from the tribunal?


—More Piss fetish!!

Maybe you need to educate yourself on AFL Coaching Accreditation instead of being such a fickle disgusting fan.


—Dictator at work

Go and follow somebody else you imbecile.


—More dictatorial bull

Tweets now protected due to some dickhead cyberstalking me on social media.


—Protection didn't last long

Reaction to this article[edit]

Severely butthurt Olsen hit the autistic tantrum like Donny Long. She started by having this page removed from a Google search on her name.

She then announced on one of her many forums;

Just had a bit of fun with editing that page that honest taxpayer has tried to make of me


—He didn't make it, fun killer

She had vandalised this page blaming others for her words. She called on one member to "grow up" and launched into name calling like a little fuck needing one, failing to notice that she was blaming the wrong user for the article's creation. Baleeting the section on her forum Aussie Footy Forums she replaced it with this;

This has been written up by a fuckwit called honest taxpayer who thinks that he can get away with being a wanker online. All he does is effectively piss people off by abusing them senseless. This will just get him pissed off when he sees what is going on in here.



She also removed the Famous Quotes section and put this;

Honest taxpayer needs to do something about his stalking. He has a habit of being an online stalker. Hence why i protect my tweets often.


—More legal threats?

And she replaced the Gallery with;

Nothing to see here.



When her vandalism was reverted, she came back and removed all the sub sections and wrote this;

Everything in here is fake news.
perhaps read this instead dickhead. Honest taxpayer posted all this when he had a boner to relieve. He is nothing but an obsessive dickhead that needs to get a life. Take note of the writing in bold you idiots.



Butthurt Attorney at lol and psycho LAWL!!

The banhammer soon followed, ending this act of faggotry. She said on her forum in response;

Don't care if i've been banned on that fucked up shit of a page. The sad thing about it is that they are so homophobic that it's not funny. Pull your fucking heads in dickhead


Baby want your dummy?

Clearly she can't stand the lulz.


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


These can constantly change due to Olsen trying to hide from herself, switching from private to public, and empty sites could be filled again.

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