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Television

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Do not adjust your set

The Electric Jew (TV for short) is a video audio device used by the Media, the Jews, Liberals, Scientologists, Cults, and Corporations to control you and take all your pains and sorrows away, thirty or sixty sublime minutes at a time (90% of which consist of commercials they love to throw at you), and to also brainwash the viewers into the slavery of everyone on it and to keep you updated on important events; such as the weather, golf, and the personal lives of anyone who barely qualifies as a celebrity.

Cultural Impact[edit]

The epitome of Television

Not to be confused with the internet (which is owned by faggots) or the Media. Some argue that the Jews and Faggots are working together based on the uprising of faggotry programming. Through the use of the incredible and helpful whores at MTV and Fox News, The Idiot Box controls every aspect of the World's culture, and hypnotizes idiots into not worrying.

As so often, the Nazis were way ahead of the curve on this one, spotting the propaganda potential of television as early as 1929 (silent broadcast only), and going national with a Germany-wide audiovisual state broadcasting service in 1935.

Since TV sets were incredibly expensive at the time, Dr Goebbels had the wisdom to open public 'TV Parlors' where the masses could watch the latest programs. Some of these were stultifyingly dull by modern standards, but only a couple decades previously people would have been queuing round the block to watch out-of-focus 30-second silent movies of a man doing a somersault, or a train arriving at a station. And the Nazi TV service's groundbreaking coverage of the 1936 Berlin Olympics even received enthusiastic reviews from nearby constellations.

When they pwnt France in 1940, the Nazis took TV with them and used the Eiffel Tower as a transmitter. The Nazis had the hi-definition TV tech of the day, 411-line resolution (compared to a measly 405 in the UK and a lamentable 300 in the US) and thoughtfully recorded all their programs with movie film for ease of editing, which means we can still marvel at their accomplishments. Thankfully of course, people nowadays are far less likely to be pacified into submission by propaganda broadcast by evil regimes intent on war and conquest. lol j/k

Add-ons[edit]

Like the internet, Television needs multiple alternate devices to work how it was meant to. These devices include the Remote Control and High Definition, the prior which uses the power of magic to talk to your TV and convince it to change the channel and the latter being a Jewish conspiracy that forced people to buy HD televisions. If you are one of the .0001% of people who actually fell for this scheme and replaced all your TVs with HD ones, congratulations, you're a retard. Other devices for your TV include DVD players, Blu-ray players, and home gaming consoles (the current most popular ones being the PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, and Wii).

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos[edit]

See Also[edit]

Now screening: Fuck You
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Television is part of a series on

Media

Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.

Television is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand
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Television
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]

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