- 1 How to play
- 2 Tetris as a threat to your capitalist society
- 3 Versions
- 4 Theme music
- 5 Victims
- 6 Gallery
- 7 See also
How to play
Spin the blocks to form horizontal lines, dumbass.
Also, in some of the newer versions, keep spinning the block forever so it will never touch down. Execute this maneuver effectively to spend your entire life playing this stupid game.
Tetris as a threat to your capitalist society
As you may or may not have noticed, Tetris is Russian. Furthermore, we all know that Russians are all actually communists trying to take over the world. Tetris was clearly part of the commie Russian plot to screw the minds of decadent westerners. In the game, the only way to move forward, is to form single rows. Which implies that everything has to be evenly distributed. AN OBVIOUS COMMUNISTIC BRAINWASHING TECHNIQUE.
Tetris for Computer
The one that started it all. It was crapped out over a session of Twinkies and meth by Russian supernerd Alexei Pajitnov. Russia didn't recognize the Berne Copyright Convention at the time, so Kapitalist Korporations quickly seized upon its addictive quality, stole it and marketed it to dumbfucks as a kind of "brain game".
Tetris has been gangraped by more publishers on more systems than any game in history . Here are some of the more notable violations:
Tetris for Unix/X-Windows
Tetris for Nintendo Famicon
This was published by Nintendo and sucked balls. More interesting than the game itself was the drama IRL between Nintendo and Tengen, which determined who would get the chance to piss all over the stolen Tetris franchise. Tengen released their own version, but copies are rare and costs seventyleven kabillion dollars.
Tetris for Nintendo Game Boy
Tetris for Game Boy was all that and a pack of smokes. It made Game Boy a household name on the level of shower curtain mildew and Magic Johnson's AIDS. However, it only sold a few copies worldwide.
Once upon a time, Nintendo made a variant puzzle game that had no chance of selling on its own merits, so they crammed Yoshi into it and called it Tetris. Totally uncool, Nintendo. This became more obvious when they later re-released the game as Pokemon Puzzle League, crammed to the gills with Mudkips. Like the only good episode of the TV show, this game can cause multiple seizures.
Tetris the Grand Master
The latest iterations at arcades, insanely fast to drive the serious gamer into serious road rage. Play at your own risk. The publishers had the gall to stop independent versions after all the royalty-free millions made off Tetris. If you have a DS, you might still be able to track one down.
The theme music owns too. There is a video of some dude playing it on piano
How to Play the Tetris Theme on the Piano
Victim on Youtube
People whom Tetris plays
People who Play Tetris
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