Texts From Last Night
Remember that time you drunkenly texted your ex-girlfriend that you've secretly been fapping to photos of her mom on Facebook while donning a pair of your little sister's underwear? Probably not, but thanks to the wonderful website Texts From Last Night the rest of the world does, and is totally judging you for it.
Texts From Last Night is a convenient website where one can easily upload drunken/stoned/otherwise mentally incapacitated text messages received from friends and family alike for all of the internet to see. So say your best friend texts you at 3 AM to tell you that he was having sex in the butt with a fat chick and got his dick sharted on. Boom, instant TFLN material. The beauty of TFLN is that while there are some sober thoughts mixed in the archives, the majority of the texts are from people who were too drunk to realize that it's probably not a good idea to tell anyone you masturbate to Star Trek porn. But that's what friends are for, right?
TFLN is fueled entirely by alcoholic college students who feel the need to post about their drunken escapades online so other people can
relate to look down upon them condescendingly despite the fact that they have four drunk texts of their own uploaded on the site. Most Texts From Last Night will end up on a Failbook wall one way or another, whether it be by the person who sent the actual text looking to show off how cool they are, or posted by one friend to another friend's wall as a means of subtly telling the world that they too suffer from erectile dysfunction when hooking up with their old middle school teacher. The website is also a favorite of basement dwellers, most likely because it gives them insight into a life they could only dream of, a world where college girls get coked up and run around parties naked from the waist down pissing themselves]].
Breakdown of Text Contents
90% of the texts on Texts From Last Night are about or pertaining to one or more of the following subjects:
- Compulsive Masturbation
- Date Rape
- Regular Rape
- Attempted Rape
- Being too drunk to say no to a gay man
- Being too drunk to say no to your creepy uncle
- Being too drunk to say no to a gay man, your creepy uncle, and the man who attempted to rape you the night before at the same time
- Vomiting on one's ex-girlfriend
- Vomiting in public
- Pretty much just vomiting in general
- Pleading for blowjobs
Getting on TFLN
Want to secure your place in the history of drunken morons with cell phones? It's not as difficult as it sounds, should you follow these easy steps:
- Get Wasted
- Find your cell phone
- Text everyone in your phone that you caught gonorrhea from your dog