The 1% Doctrine

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Not be confused with Occupy Wall Street

Do not fuck with me cos I will go 1% on your ass.

The 1% Doctrine is a razor with which to cleave the fog of war, providing clear guidance in cases of uncertainty. It states simply that if you think that there is a 1% chance that a threat may materialize, you must treat it exactly as if there is a 100% chance. By this logic, every male should undergo a penectomy as there is a 1% chance he will develop prostate cancer in his lifetime.

1% IRL[edit]

Notorious senile old man and de facto American president Dick Cheney responded to the unlikely chance of cave-dwelling sand monkeys building a nuclear device with shoestrings and coconut husks by stating that by saying that the U.S. should just treat it as if their doing so was a certainty. This reasoning pretty much explains the whole of the Bush years. By following the 1% doctrine, a 1% chance of Iraqi nukes was turned into a 100% chance of civil war, a powerful vindication of Cheney's policy.

The 1% Doctrine is in fact merely a restatement of a long held Jewish tradition of slaughtering anyone who might once have thought anything mean about a Jew. Jew lover Cheney was merely a victim of Jewish indoctrination at his alma mater Yale, a bastion of the Jewish kabal, and deserves credit for resisting his brainwashing to suck the circumcised cock of any Jew within 100 miles. In public, at least.

1% OTI[edit]

The 1% Doctrine will also be familiar, in practice if not in name, to the user of most any forum. During invasions, coups, or domestic unrest on the boards, it is common practice to ban the shit out of anyone who pokes their head out of the trenches. The smart move is to play Taliban, and retreat to your e-cave until the initial surge of bans is over, and then blow up their car. This is perhaps the most common cause of Forum Collapse Disorder, and a sure sign of sub-par moderation on the part of the admins.


See Also[edit]