The Failkips Strikes Back
In the aftermath of Sam Leeson's suicide, a Gloucestershire area newspaper published an extremely lulzy and not at all biased article about our very own David Failkips and his baleeted by JewTube video regarding the lil' an hero.
At first, Mr. Failkips spent over 9000 hours laughing his ass off that some newspaper in Great Britain actually took the time to write an article about a video that it took him five minutes to make. Then, the cumulative effect of the endless stream of hate mail from emos took its toll, and he briefly turned emo over it himself. All seemed lost, until Raptor Jesus miraculously restored his balls, and David Failkips suddenly awoke in the Waaaambulance, tore all the sticky heart rate measuring crap off his chest, and leapt from the Waaaambulance, doing a barrel roll in mid-air, to return to his Top Secret Laboratory to prepare his ultimate weapon against The Citizen, a TL;DR e-mail.
- 1 The Citizen's request for comment
- 2 The Response: The Failkips Strikes Back
- 3 The Immediate Aftermath
- 4 "Youths Against Crimes" jumps into the fray
- 4.1 The Youths Against Crimes message
- 4.2 The Response, in which things are again spelled out laboriously for newfags
- 4.3 Youths Against Crimes responds. ZOMG, Anonymous are Online Terrorists!
- 4.4 Failkips facepalms, and tries to talk some sense into those who support the Disney-ifying of the Internets
- 4.5 Youths Against Crimes continutes with their Unwarranted Self-Importance
- 5 Links, because you really want to read MOAR CRAP
- 6 See Also
The Citizen's request for comment
The day before the article was published, a reporter sent a message to Mr. Failkips via MySpace (LOLWUT?), which was ignored because David assumed that it was more emos trying to get Dox on him. When it turned out to be legit, Mr. Failkips shat brix.
I am writing an article for tomorrow’s edition of Thisisglos and the newspaper associated with it – The Citizen – about your online contribution. Tomorrow’s piece is about your defence of your previous Sam Leeson video.
I would like you to please answer the following questions for publication:
Why do you mock the death of a young man in Gloucestershire?
Is it appropriate to satirize the apparent suicide of a young boy?
What message do you have for the family of Sam Leeson regarding the death of their son and your video contributions online about this tragic story?
In your opinion what constitutes cyber bullying and what can be done to combat it?
Could you please email me with your answers and any other biographical details about yourself. The email is: firstname.lastname@example.org and please copy it to email@example.com
—Matt Holmes, writing from http://www.myspace.com/forestermusic
The Response: The Failkips Strikes Back
After recovering from his temporary butthurt and faggotry, The Kips of Fail got Drunk and wrote the following TL;DR bullshit. Due to his tendency to be overly sincere once the initial euphoria of intoxication wears off, it ended up being more Serious Business than For The Lulz, but he tried, so he gets a gold star sticker for effort. Since there is no chance in hell of whatever the fuck that newspaper was called publishing any of it without heavily editing any choice quotes to make Mr. Failkips look like an even bigger faggot than he actually is.
The Immediate Aftermath
And then, after reviewing and wikifying the e-mail, David Failkips proclaimed, "God. I am a massive faggot," and promptly an hero'd. Oh, and he also did some shit nobody cares about on his Jewtube account, namely actually removing all of the supportive comments and leaving all the "ur a doodie hed" comments, for the lulz, naturally.
"Youths Against Crimes" jumps into the fray
On June 21, 2008, Youths Against Crimes, a website that apparently believes that bulling is rabbit on the Internet, contacted The Kips of Fail via YouTube. Failkips, being an Anon, had nothing better to do on a Saturday night, was of course there to respond. Enjoy, dear reader, the faggotry:
The Youths Against Crimes message
Youths Against Crimes would like to get your point of view on your “Sam Leeson parody” and what your intentions were. Sam Leeson’s death was a tragic, saddening, and an abrupt passing and the fact that a child has passed is saddening in itself, especially due to Cyber-Bullying, and for a person to “parody” or otherwise “mock” his death is difficult for anyone to understand. We do not know if those were your intentions or not and we are deeply apologetic if we are insinuating anything. We also have no seen the original video posted, so if you are willing, we would love to know what the initial video was about. However, people are entitled to their own opinions and Youths Against Crimes offers advice to those teens/youth who may be being victimized from a Cyber-Bully at: www.youthsagainstcrimes.org/cyber-bullying/cyber-bullying. We hope you understand the stance of Youths Against Crimes and can understand and respect our points. We also respect the points of anyone who contacts us. If you are confused on any of our points please contact us asking what you do not fully understand and we would be happy to clarify.
Thank you and we hope to hear from you in the near future.
—Youths Against Crimes
Youths Against Crimes responds. ZOMG, Anonymous are Online Terrorists!
Failkips facepalms, and tries to talk some sense into those who support the Disney-ifying of the Internets
Youths Against Crimes continutes with their Unwarranted Self-Importance
Yes, we do understand youth sometimes do give out personal information on their YouTube, MySpace, Bebo, etc... and Youths Against Crimes strongly detests this, for a child could be abducted; murdered; or targeted by a harmful individual, and we constantly encourage youth to instantaneously obliterate the information and quickly inform a parent of their actions online, for giving out personal information is exceptionally hazardous and very effortless for pedophiles and other predators to target a child at home, school, or just hanging out with their friends.
In an internet convention Youths Against Crimes took part in, in 2006 - 2007, it only takes a predator 15 minutes to acquire a child or persons personal information and whereabouts with the youths/persons first name.
While we do not support or condone some of your actions you have definitely given support for your views and we respect that. We can not agree with your overall message or methods of conveying your message to the public, but we can respect the fact that you can support your opinions and methods, in a respectful way.
Nonetheless, we thank you so much "David" for telling us your side of the story. We definitely do not want to make an assumption that would be wrong by just listening to the media’s perception.
Thank you for your time.
—Those pedophiles at Youths Against Crimes
Links, because you really want to read MOAR CRAP
- the crapfest article that prompted this faggotry
- Youths Against Crimes website, which appears to have been made in 1997.