The Fairly OddParents
The Fairly OddParents (a.k.a. The Jumpy SharkParents) is one of many Nickelodeon cartoons that have gone from lulzy to shit in no time flat. Starring a ten-year-old boy with wish-granting fairies that either nag, bitch or almost kill everyone, they spend each episode solving a problem he himself wished for, when in reality, he could've just not wished it to begin with, but the hurrdurr's 10-year-old curiosity doesn't follow logic, and that's why we have a show.
Despite the already ridiculous concept and shit animation, the series only got worse as it went on, surprising right? It evolved from just being boring into a plague of cookie cutter writing and repetitive gags, and came up with new and exciting ways to insult us and keep the plot going like it was punishment to even deny its god-like influence.
Some argue the series' downfall began with the introduction of Poof, a fairy baby who Timmy wished for that could divide the universe by zero when it shit its pants, and because Nickelodeon didn't have enough mpreg in its lineup. Others say that it was the unimaginably unnecessary live-action movie and its Christmas spinoff which said "Hey, we can kill Drake Bell's acting career more, right?". Others blamed it on this magic dog that does nothing more than... Well, be a dog. But a maaaaaaaagic dog. But you would be wrong, as it hit rock fucking bottom when Mary Sue, under the alias Chloe Carmichael, started sharing with Timmy's faries. Remember when it was established that only miserable kids got fairies? Well, season 10 yelled "FUCK THAT!"
It's quite apparent at this point Butch Hartman and his ex-friend and FOP writer Steve Marmel just wants to end the series and work on other projects such as Danny Phantom, but Nick keeps ordering more seasons. The fact that it's still running today is amazing, especially when compared to Nick's other lovechild SpongeBob SquarePants, which, while also running for too fucking long, still continues to air episodes and make a shitload of money, whereas FOP is hardly acknowledged by Nick anymore, has one of the most erratic schedules seen in an animated show, and generates practically no revenue whatsoever, making it a wonder it's lasted this long despite the fact nobody cares about the show anymore. Regardless, all that matters now is that the show currently sucks, going above and beyond its intended call of duty, gaining its infamy by making its own "IF I HAD ONE" meme early on.
|Timmy Turner||A ten-year-old boy whose negligent-turned-retarded parents and abusive, now-murderous babysitter made him just miserable enough to gift him a pair of just-as-retarded fairies to grant his wishes in hopes of enlightening his miserable life, when in reality, his selfish crap almost destroys the world multiple times and netted him tons of super-powered enemies, giving Johnny Test its inspiration. You know, because giving untold power to repressed, tortured kids will in no way end up with anyone getting hurt. Fun fact: he's voiced by Tara Strong, so the infinite prepubescence is strong.|
|Cosmo and Wanda||Respectively, the green male fairy and the pink female fairy. Despite them having no personality whatsoever in the early seasons, sounding like Microsoft Sam and Microsoft Anna respectively, most sane people would rather prefer these cardboard standee versions over the insensitive faggot-voiced retard and nagging bitch that they are today.|
|Poof||The baby that fucked up everything and CAN fuck up everything. He's a fucking circle in a onesie, and floats around saying nothing but his own name. Able to press the reset button on the universe by shitting its diapers. That's pretty much all there is to him. Because our writers have lost their brains on a drinking binge inbetween seasons, he has had whole episodes about him, thinking that it's cute that we gave a shit. And when he did finally get a voice, it's the same voice actress playing him, so he sounds like if Timmy's balls were kicked in even more past his throat.|
|Sparky||A fairy dog that has the mental capability of Cosmo if he were 420blazin' it, was more destructive and his voice was like if Shaggy was struggling through puberty. Timmy bought him from the fairy pet store because he woke up one day and wanted a dog. His voice is atleast better than the baby. Usually makes problems worse, and even almost killed Timmy in his first episode. Mysteriously disappeared starting with season 10, and his voice actor confirmed the dog was put down to end its misery of being on this terrible cartoon.|
|Chloe Carmichael||Another fucking newfag. Typical fanfic character who has to share fairies with Timmy because she fucks things up sometimes and apparently has no friends. Started life as a Mary Sue before being thankfully changed to a female Timmy one episode later. Will inevitably become another victim of shipping wars. But hey, atleast she was a more dynamic character than Sparky.|
|Vicky||Timmy's 16-year-old babysitter and the series' ex-main antagonist before slowly fading as the seasons progressed. Despite clearly being a greedy child-torturer and potential murderer, she's somehow the most hired babysitter in the town. She's occasionally tentacle raped by an alien named Mark Ching-Chang. Usually admired by fiddlers who claim to have been raped by their own babysitters, and this apparently traumatic experience somehow created a lust in their hearts for fictional child care psychopaths. Also wanted in 14 states for CP, rape and kidnapping, and all around being a sick fuck who schlicks herself over her corpses.|
|Tootie||Vicky's little sister and Timmy's stalker crush. An underage four-eyes that gets her underage pussy wet at the very thought of his buckteeth scraping over her labia, and naturally gives pedophiles and weeaboos a raging hard-on and a run for their money. But they're kids, so stalking behavior and harassment is totally normal cause she won't get arrested, right? For some hardcope Tootie fans like Nintendomaximus, a Deviantart user who's much more close-minded than Archie Bunker from All In The Family who thinks then Trixie Tang from the Fairly Oddparents should only marry a liberal douchebag like Remy Buxaplenty and not even a trailer trash guy like Chester McBadbat while Timmy should be with Tootie thanks to Daniella Monet who have some boobies despite then she wasn't as hot as Bo Derek, Pamela Anderson and Raquel Welch and boobies sounds like Tootie. Some said then Timmy's kids look exactly like her, but retards within the fandom still argue over who that unseen mother is. Our guess is that the curiosity of incest got to Timmy.|
|Trixie Tang||The popular teenage Asian cunt Timmy likes, but now doesn't like anymore because he's just grown into a poon hound. Rabid shippers believe she could've been a strong female character had the writers stuck to some one-episode plot where Timmy becomes a girl and Trixie a tomboy, but the real reason is because of their genderbender fetish. Also started vanishing in later seasons and when Timmy grew interest in other girls after realizing that chasing after rich azn pussy wasn't worth it anymore and conceding victory to liberal douchebags like Tad, Chad and Remy Buxaplenty.|
|Veronica||Trixie's sycophantic, blonde whore best friend that wants to give up her secret Jewish heritage so she can be Asian because she is tired of being second prettiest and second most popular to a flat chested, slanted vagina, Azn loli-ho that is only there to get Brad and Thad in the mood for their nightly anal parties.
Secretly in love with Timmy, seriously, who the fuck isn't? Timmy's pushing Harem Anime levels. Whenever the plot needs it, a girl secretly loves him. The only person, to this day, that hasn't expressed interest in his buck toothed face biting their ass is Trixie, except for that time Timmy was a girl proving to everyone she is a lesbian who will most likely be doing internet sex shows with Veronica the minute one of them starts getting a little fuzz on the peach.
|Denzel Crocker||Timmy's asperger, crazy as fuck autistic, retard of a teacher that could give Chris Chan a run for his money when it comes to believing that there's a secret portal that exists to Equestria... I mean Fairy Land in the real world and who surprisingly, (Teacher's Union and Tenure. Yeah??), isn't jobless because of his psychological need to announce this 99 times a day to his class room, the school and the city he lives in.
Even though he's clearly one of the most technologically advanced minds in the world despite his meager salary, all he uses his inventions for is to catch fairies when he could be patenting all that shit and making Bill Gates his bottom bitch.
|Chester and AJ||Timmy's supposed best friends(even though they're the characters he spends the least time with) whom he used to use for his own personal gain. They're the show's way of saying "We're not racist" as the niglet is a rich smartass and the white kid a poor hillbilly in a role reversal. They're barely in the show anymore, if at all, once Timmy found out he has fucking magic and doesn't need friends. Maybe they died through unprotected sex in a threesome with Elmer and his STD-boil.|
|Jorgen Von Strangle||A high ranking, steroid-filled fairy who serves as the show's Internet Police, even though he's a complete retard who only enforces Da Rules when it is most lulzy. Unlike all the other fairies, Jorgen has no wings because he most likely ate them for protein. He talks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and has the steroided body of him as well. Also has a huge wand which he uses to raep the rulebreakers.|
|Francis||A generic, gray bully, often mistaken for a vampire, who makes Timmy his bitch at school only because his mom neglects him and his dad is too retarded to stay alive. Has pretty much disappeared from the show, most likely becoming an hero at realizing Timmy was the only one making his undead life worth living.|
|Timmy's Mom and Dad||The reasons why Timmy has his fairies to begin with. Both parents have only grown more autistic and mentally retarded as they show continued, forgetting their son's name all the time, putting a celebrity over Timmy's birthday(whenever it is, even he's apparently forgotten it), even unable to hold a fucking flower in their hands without it dying. The dad has a rivalry with the next door neighbor who acts like a normal human being who he tries to beat, whom to the retarded Dad with what he does, is like trying to one-up God.|
|Abra Catastrophe||Imagine taking three completely unrelated episodes from three different cartoons and movies and mashing them together. The first part consists of Timmy daydreaming and getting a magic muffin for his first year of having his fairies, that can grant any wish to anyone. This was back when everyone thought Timmy was still trustworthy. Like the dumbass that he is, Timmy loses it within the first few hours because of a random muffin day at school, because we can't have a FOP movie without fate fucking with a 10-year-old boy. This part also reveals that fairies can be trapped and made powerless under a butterfly net. And what a fucking surprise, in the last part Crocker gets the muffin and captures Wanda with a net. Second part's is like if Planet of the Apes got more stupid. The second part was only possible because the writers had went on a heroin spree. Catastrophe was an understatement.|
|Jimmy Timmy Power Hour||After Viacom saw the amount of dollars they could milk from this, they decided to force it into one of their lesser cartoons, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius. Through the power of VUKiacom, this crossover lasted three movies, each with a weaker plot and lamer villains than the last. In the first one, Crocker discovers Fairy World, then tries to take it over; and Jimmy's robot dog goes Terminator/Transformers on the town. In the second one, a dwarf, amnesiac mad scientist and some black fairies that cause bad luck are the bad guys. In the third one, Jimmy and Timmy actually make the bad guy. You'd guess that Jimmy's intelligence and Timmy's magic could make a decent villain, but he turns out to be an "adaptable", but crybaby faggot.|
|Channel Chasers||Because Timmy's parents are obviously too stupid to realize that Vicky's an attempted murderer, Timmy wishes to live in the TV world. Then there's a Timmy from the future who has to stop Vicky from taking over the world with a TV remote. A flash forward at the end of the movie shows an older Timmy with two kids that look exactly like Tootie, yet the mother was unseen, sparking a never ending debate between Tootie and Trixie fanboys over which womb they sprang from.|
|A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!||The live action "adaptation" of the Fairly OddParents, set 12 years after the show. Nobody knows why it was made, and nobody really asked for it, but they did it anyway. Mostly a bad "save the town" romantic comedy, it was saved by a stunning Oscar-worthy performance by Timmy's dad, played by Gordy the Janitor. Aside from further dashing the hopes of Timmy/Trixie fanboys, the movie did nothing it was advertising it would do and was panned by fans. Mainly shows Drake Bell playing a man-child version of Timmy, with his parents wanting to literally throw him out of their home, their repressed rage at a boiling point by now, clearly. Also for a bonus for the parents that suffered through this shitshow of sub-par 2001 CGI, cameos of George Costanza and Cheryl Hines wearing wigs pretending to be Cosmo and Wanda (no wonder where all the budget went to).|
|A Fairly Odd Christmas||The sequel to the above live action movie, because Drake Bell's future movie career prospects weren't quite dead enough yet. More Oscar award winning performances by the janitor and the other guy who played Crocker. It's yet another "Save X" plot, this time with Christmas because Timmy wanted to play Santa.|
|A Fairly Odd Summer||The sequel's sequel to the other above live action movie, as if the first two were good enough to begin with to warrant another sequel. ANOTHER "Save X" plot with Fairy World, with Crocker taking up the villain role along with a shittily CGI-ed Foop, whose human form is creepy as fuck. Timmy ends up becoming a fairy, which was Viacock's way of saying Drake Bell's services were no longer needed and that they preferred the prepubescent, able-to-be-edited voice of Tara Strong. All through the movie, you can see Drake thinking how long he has left before Nickelodeon's check clears.|
Trolling the fans
Any FOP related post will immediately be responded to by a shitty trip fag who has zero troll detection abilities and will take anything FOP related very seriously, especially any sort of minor criticism towards his waifu Trixie. Other ways to troll Fairly Oddparents fans include:
- Say that the series sucks in comparison to Spongebob Squarepants
- Say that you like Sparky (Bonus if you say his voice also sounds heavenly).
- Say that when Timmy Turner grows up he will Marry Tootie and not Trixie Tang (This works vice versa for Tootie fanboys).
- In fact, saying anything bad about Tootie or Trixie will draw the wrath of the hordes of faggots. Mostly Trixie, as she is Asian and thus more of a weeaboo magnet.
- Remind them how gay the show is
- In the episode Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary Timmy and Remmy Buxaplenty play a game called 'Virtua Stud' which is a reference to the 1995 hard core gay porno film Virtual Stud.
- In the episode Action Packed there was a loose cannon cop on the edge who doesn't play by the rules named Ryan McCain which is a reference to a Ryan McCain who was in the gay porno Black Cocksuckers 2.
- FOP has tremendous amounts of cross-dressing, one good example is the Miss Dimmsdale episode where Timmy's dad tried to enter the Miss Dimmsdale beauty competition, in a dress. Worse yet, Adam West expressed interest in him.
- In the opening of the Fairly Oddparents episode The Boy Who Would Be Queen Timmy is seen enjoying the soap opera The Kissy Kissy Goo Goo Romance Hour on a portable TV. If that wasn't gay enough yet, later in the episode he is turned into a girl and develops a new appreciation for comic books because they have "muscular guys in spandex fighting crime."
- In the episode Fairly Odd Baby, Cosmo and Wanda have their own fairy baby. Guess who has it? That's right, Cosmo. Gotta give Nickelodeon credit for having the balls to show off their mpreg interest. Apparently fairies run on seahorse anatomy. So one last question: Who has the dick in the relationship again?
The children of south Africa sat around their table that morning. Their body's full and their meat bulging. As a colossal bird sat in front of them.
Their father had returned home last night after making peaceful discussions with the guerrilla's leader. Odd considering he was demanding genocide of their entire tribe just a week ago.
In the middle East, Michale Rosenbaum and Ackmed Jiinana both went out for a drink, Taking in their customary jabs at one another in good fun and with good grace. For though they were both religious men, they knew that God and Heaven was big enough for both of them.
In China, The first laws regarding proper medical care for all of it's citizens was instigated. And the government handed over sovereignty to the people of the nation.
The final act was set at the United Nations, When all the world's leaders and all the world's men agreed to set aside their differences and see the world set in the right direction. All nuclear weapons, all guns and rifles, all weapons that could harm anyone were destroyed. And the people rejoiced for there was nothing left to fear.
In America. Two magical creatures and a young boy watched TV.
"So lemme get this right. Nobody thought to try and rid world hunger, instigate world peace or remove all disease and suffering? Even with an unlimited supply of magic powers?" the boy asked.
"Not really," the green haired one said.
"Damn. Kids are dicks," the boy commented.
- Adventure Time: Another cartoon made by Frederator Studios
- SpongeBob Squarepants: Another cartoon aired on the same network that also turned to crap with time
- The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
- Can boys have babies like Cosmo in fairy odd parents?
- Why is Cosmo from The Fairly OddParents pregnant?
- Fairly Odd Parents just kills me
The Fairly OddParents is part of a series on