The Krassenstein Brothers
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
|Twitter just pwnt the Ponzi Bros for !!!1|
Edward Lawrence Krassenstein✡ and Brian Mark Krassenstein✡ (a.k.a. Talkgoldcom, edbri871, Akmed Malakar☪, JamesOkeef and the Super Ponzistein Bros.) are a pair of 37-year-old manlet twin brothers who are most well known for their amazing ability to vomit up a seemingly endless stream of obnoxiously stupid anti-Trump tweets – a skill that has helped propel them to prominence as key members of the long-running joke that refers to itself as "The Resistance".
Prior to becoming the biggest fucking stooges on Twitter, the Krassenstein brothers were most well known on the internets for being well-documented con artists and thieves who specialized in running Ponzi schemes, distributing pirated content, stealing domain names and booting up a spambot that was only capable of spamming a single string of text. The Krassensteins are also serial E-ntrepreneurs who have run at least 100 internet scam websites that have included MoneyMakerGroup and TalkGold – two seemingly competing forums that both catered to Jewgold enthusiasts and offered their criminal user base a convenient platform to advertise their highly illegal Ponzi schemes to ignorant wannabe investors.
In late 2016, the Krassensteins finally seemed to have gotten what they had coming after both ICE and the Department of Homeland Security raided their home in Fort Meyers, Florida and seized many boxes worth of evidence against the dastardly duo. Despite , Barack Obama's incompetent federal government ultimately failed to file criminal charges and then pretended that—despite the fact that they had a strong enough case to send in the motherfucking Department of Homeland Security to raid their house—the Krassenstein brothers had done absolutely nothing wrong and were actually totally innocent of every crime that they had ever committed.
Since getting away with the biggest abortion of justice since O.J. Simpson got away with making sashimi out of his coal-burning wife and some Jew, the Krassensteins have moved on from running silly Ponzi scheme forums and rebrand themselves as "journalists" for their personal Fake News sites called Independent Reporter and Hill Reporter. As you'd expect, both of these sites target libtard Democrats who are dumb enough to throw their hard earned welfare money at literally anyone who claims that they'll be able to take down Führer Drumpf.
The brothers have also written a shitty crowdfunded propaganda piece that they poorly disguised as a "children's book" entitled How the People Trumped Ronald Plump. They have also joined Encyclopædia Dramatica and attempted to vandalize this article because they were very upset to discover that there are actually people in the world who won't mindlessly suck their disgusting circumcised cocks like an obedient little bitch and can't be silenced by simply clicking on Twitter's block button.
Their attempt to cover up their sins just led to a renewed campaign which found they were also pedophiles. In 2019, Twatter sent the brothers to the digital gas chamber, thus cutting off their main source of Jew gold and relevance.
- 1 History of the Krassensteins
- 2 TalkJewGold
- 3 New Super Ponzi Bros. U
- 4 The media paradox
- 5 Stealing Domain Names
- 6 Idetrorce
- 7 Unverifagged
- 8 b&
- 9 The Krotchenstein Brothers
- 10 President Plump
- 11 The Jews Declare War on ED
- 12 Quotes
- 13 Cool Sock, Akmed!
- 14 Gallery
- 15 See Also
- 16 External Links
History of the Krassensteins
Edward Lawrence Krassenstein✡ and Brian Mark Krassenstein✡ were born in November of 1981 to parents Carol Krassenstein (née Voelker) and Martin Krassenstein✡. Around the age of 15, the brothers' Jewishness began to take over as they started selling video games and baseball cards on various newsgroups and ultimately set up their very first Ponzi scheme entitled .
The Krassenstein brother have been actively trying to make quick and easy money on the internet since the early 2000s when the pair worked at GameStop and owned their own shitty reseller hosting account that they tried to pass off as a legitimate "hosting company" despite calling the goddamn thing and using fucking 1990s clipart as a logo.
Around 2003, the pair decided to open a shitty internet forum TalkGold that focused on helping users advertise their High-Yield Investment Programs (a.k.a. HYIPs and Ponzi Schemes), a form of scam that attempts to pose as a too-good-to-possible-be-true investment opportunity. Despite running a forum that was focused on making money, the brothers were too fucking cheap to shell out the money for a vBulletin license and instead went with the poor man's shitty alternative known as phpBB. Several years later, the pair finally scammed enough money out of their users to be able to afford a vBulletin license.
A year later, in 2004, the pair opened yet another shit-tastic phpBB forum called MoneyMakerGroup that did the exact same shit as TalkGold.
—talkgoldcom, on being real fucking good with money
New Super Ponzi Bros. U
In late 2016, years of conning people on the internet finally caught up with the Ponzi Bros. as President Barack Obama's Department of Justice sent in ICE and DHS to raid the brothers' home in order to recoup the losses of the brothers' many victims.
—The only accurate thing these Jews have ever said
—Twyla Burger, calling out Brian for being a shitbag
The media paradox
Judd Legum is a progressive liberal retard with a funny name who, in 2005, founded a progressive propaganda rag called ThinkProgress. As a prominent member of The Resistance and a whiny liberal with a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome, Legum is held in high regard within the confines of the liberal hivemind hugbox.
On May 3, 2018, when Judd decided to link to an article detailing the Krassensteins' sordid history, it was only natural that the ensuing butthurt would make for some of the most memorable and hilarious lefty infighting in recent history.
Freddy Krueger and The Spectator
The Spectator described their podcast as, and also noted that several members of Congress, Van Jones and Megyn Kelly follow the duo, which sheds a bit of light on why the latter two's shows consist mostly of incoherent babble.
Vice News did a "documentary" on the "superstars", and as you can tell by the like-dislike ratio, it was an instant classic. This is, to date, the only non-negative piece produced by a media company on the duo.
Full up with unwarranted self-importance from the Vice "documentary", the deceitful duo shamelessly tried to appear relevant by doing a Reddit AMA (sauce) but it backfired as it soon became apparent that both /r/The_Donald and /r/politics hate the two for being shitbags. It is the only time in recorded history that supporters and opponents of The Donald have agreed on something. The Daily Dot even joined the feeding frenzy, describing the Ponzi Bros' AMA failure as having been .
Stealing Domain Names
In 2007, Brian Krassenstein decided to purchase a bizarre domain name called Idetrorce.com. In a strange coincidence, a spambot named Idetrorce began hitting blogs and forums en masse around this same time.
Despite being a pair of liberal Jewish blowhards with a history of criminal behaviour, the Krassenstein twins still remain unverified by Twitter and lack the Blue Checkmark of Supreme Autism. Despite this, the brothers have both decided to include retarded emojis next to their usernames in an attempt to make themselves feel like their worthless existences actually matter.
Ed has chosen to include the 💎 emoji in his name to represent the hardest metal known to man and his love of buyinng diamonds with the money that he scams out of retards on the internets. Brian on the other hand has chosen the 🐬 emoji to represent the fact that he's a dolphin-loving faggot who hates that the Japs find dolphins to be absolutely delicious.
In January 2019 the Krassenkikes developed a more subtle way to Jew their followers out of their shekels. Their has 99 fucktards who actually sponsor these morons' shitty podcast, presumably due to their promises to take down Fuhrer Drumpf.
Last Thursday the Shekelstein Brothers were permab& from Twatter for jewing the system by buying followers and interactions to pretend that they have friends. Using the same sockpuppet names as the ones they did to scam fucking everyone, they posted on several forums expressing interest in buying Twitter followers and interactions.
AND HERE'S THE MONEY SHOT: live ( )
Despite the overwhelming evidence of their guilt, Brian and Eddie insist that Adolf Donald is behind the Shoah 2: Electric Boogaloo because he met with Jack Dorsey a few weeks beforehand and set up a website to report social media bias.
So far they've released anon their own site, to Twitter and an claiming they're having to lay off cancer patients because they were shoah'd from Twitter. Oh, and you know you're a shitbag when the calls you "hucksters" and "jackasses". Good job retards.
The Krotchenstein Brothers
Despite having been caught on camera molesting his kids himself, Eddie took great exception to a lulzy crop by a writer for The Daily Beast which shows his brother Brian molesting his son. Thinking he was influential enough to get the journo fired, Eddie fought back only to find that nobody cares what he has to say.
Not only do Eddie and Brian molest their own, and each other's kids, but Eddie was such a genius that he registered his CP sites under the same alias linked in the wire fraud case.
The Jews Declare War on ED
On July 26, 2018, a user joined Encyclopædia Dramatica using the name Talkgoldcom and attempted to blank this article like a complete retard. As one would expect, this did not go well as the butthurt revisionism was quickly reverted and the Kike Bros. attempts to erase their sordid history merely resulted in them receiving a brutal arse-raping by the ED admins and renewed interest in their article.
Cool Sock, Akmed!
- Living Lowlife
- Akmed Malakar
- Peter Gant
- Independent News
- Brian Kay
- Brian Berg
- Brian Eachus
- Eddie K
- peskysnowflake- Another Twitter #Resistance troll
- Pyramid Scheme
- Keith Olbermann
- Kurt Eichenbald
- ((((((Coincidence Detector)))))) - We're gonna need double echoes for this one!
- I am not a crook! - What Brian is constantly claiming despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary.
- fake news faux-journalism blog. - Twitter account for the brothers'
- warez forum. - These law-abiding faggots own a fucking
- - Their daddy.
- - Brian's butt ugly wife.
- - Ed's bitch.
- - Holy scammoli, Batman!
- Their lottery scam.
- - A bunch of people complaining that Brian scammed them.
- A $67 E-book scam.
- - Proof that Brian was part of this.
- - Once again, Brian hires the same cheap Indian web designer.
- - Obvious pyramid scheme is obvious.
- Another ponzi scheme by Mario Degryse and the Bros.
- - Full of people demanding Mario's head.
- - LITERALLY A PYRAMID SCHEME
Scam n' Spam Bros.
- - An early example of these douchebags spamming links to their Ponzi schemes.
- give us all ur passwords lolz
- - Akmed forgets that he doesn't own the Krassenstein's 3D Printing site.
- - On Digg.
- - The bros distribute moar pirated content.
- - Written by Brian under the alias Peter Gant.
- - This is even funnier when you realize that the Krassensteins own this stupid blog.
- victims. - The kikes call themselves
- - The worst Kickstarter ever made.
- 609-226-3146 - Let Ed know that he's a dumb cunt for posting their phone number online.
- firstname.lastname@example.org - Their email.
- email@example.com - Old email.
- firstname.lastname@example.org - Send your scatological Donald Trump fan fiction here and they'll publish it as fact.
- 8chan thread compiling info on these fucks. - An
The Krassenstein Brothers is part of a series on
Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.
|The Krassenstein Brothers
is part of a series on Donald Trump.
God Bless Savior Donald
You're gonna love this article, believe me.
The Krassenstein Brothers is part of a series on
|Featured Article August 4 & 5, 2018|
| Preceded by
|The Krassenstein Brothers|| Succeeded by|
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
|Featured Article May 24 & 25, 2019|
| Preceded by
|The Krassenstein Brothers|| Succeeded by|